• Vander

    Perky123, I think she has two of the same bowl. :)

    I have guests coming this weekend who love bacon. We don’t usually eat it, but I will make it for the sister’s new boyfriend because I am that kind of hostess.

    But now I’m scared.

  • websavvymom

    –>I have those same bowls from Ikea. Next time, drink a beer and then use the can to pour the grease in it. Who cares if it’s still breakfast?

  • aadrolet

    the correct answer is coffee mug. that is where to pour hot bacon grease :) just don’t forget about it, or you end up w/ a coffee mug full of solidified bacon grease, and that’s pretty darn gross and hard to clean out.

  • Hagan Squared

    Dude that is awesome. I had the same “NO. STOP. DON’T” moment last night. I got home from the gym and figured I’d make a smoothie to hold me over until I made dinner. I have a smoothie maker blender thingie that has a dispenser spout attached to the blender jug. I put in the frozen fruit and yogurt and started pouring in the fruit juice. I didn’t realize that the dispenser was in the up or “dispense” position. Fruit juice poured out of it all over the counter, down my cabinets, all over the floor as I stood there yelling “NO! STOP!!!!” I finally flipped the lever down. Ugh.

  • HeatherG

    Don’t be a microwave class hater. When we bought our first microwave, very early 80′s-we took the class they offered too. It was at Maison Blanche. Ahh memories.

    Good to know the IKEA! bowls can’t stand up the grease. And I do pour the grease down the drain. Oops!

  • BexBrown

    Am I the only one here who pours grease down the toilet? The pipes are already gross and much wider. It’s also cool to make sound effects while you are doing it.

  • B Dot

    You should take pride you didn’t use a Pyrex dish on your stove top to melt velveeta cheese. YES MOM I’LL CLEAN IT UP. YES MOM I SUCK IN THE KITCHEN. YES MOM, JUST CAUSE IT IS A DISH BIG ENOUGH FOR CHEESE DIP- IT DOESN’T GO ON OUR NEW STOVE TOP. check and check. and check.

  • Issa

    I haven’t laughed this hard in weeks. So for that? I thank you. Truly. It would only have been improved by a video.

    Bacon grease, I leave in the pan until it cools and then I put paper towels in the pan to soak it up. My mom taught me that. It may be the one cooking skill I always remember.

  • Shana in Texas

    I want to know why you were cooking only 7 pieces of bacon??? The math doesn’t work for me ’cause in my family that is a per person number not per family.

  • melynir

    Next time, girl, just use an aluminum can. I keep one under the sink until it’s full and then the whole works goes in the garbage.

  • karenarens

    That is so cool! Look at what you did to that bowl. Nice work.

    Hint From Becky Home-Ecky (thanks to my college roommate for this one): Take a sheet of tin foil, fold it in half, mold it around tumbler. Voila – instant disposable bacon grease collector.

  • Janice

    I can relate to the broken stuff. Over the past couple years I have broken my right ankle and right hand (in the same fall), three toes (on separate occasions) and in a grand finale, slipped in the doorway of the bathroom ending up smacking my head on the tub (again from the doorway) rendering myself unconscious, fracturing my orbital bone and giving myself a nice concussion along with a stellar black eye. I live alone so I don’t know how long I was unconscious because once I woke up it took two freakin’ hours to crawl to the bedroom fully supported by my dog who kept brought her ball along in case I wanted to play fetch while I was lying there.

    Someone told me that turquoise is a crystal that helps falls from happening. I don’t know if it’s true but I wear something turquoise now daily, especially in the bathroom because I am now askeerd of my bathtub.

    Just offering the suggestion…. more stylish than the football helmet…

  • leafgirl

    Yep we keep the old soup cans under the sink for such purposes too.

    Side note – am I only the one that when I look at the melted bowl picture, its like one of those trick photos and it looks like its actually melting down further to me. Actually making me a little nauseous.

  • Midnight

    Hilarious.

    I use the paper towel method myself; while it may be wasteful, at least I don’t have to wash (or throw away!) the bowl I poured it into, since I just wipe it out of the pan and into the trash.

  • Tricia

    I think the universe is telling you that you need a lot more Calcium in your diet. What’s next, your hip?

  • Bratfink

    Sorry Dooce, I’m with Jon. Photographic evidence!

    It’s exactly what I do to The Boy when he does something…. errrrr… interesting.

  • Mays45

    As a bacon connoisseur (it’s my favorite food, my dad has worked for Oscar Mayer my whole life, and I wanted to be a bacon lady in 1st grade), I know to always keep my pickle jars, or any glass jars really, for use as bacon grease receptacles. I suggest you do the same. Then, when you have a camp fire, throw the grease jars on the fire! It flames your fire up and smells GREAT! That is how we do bonfires in Wisconsin!

  • kristanhoffman

    LOL oh dear lord YOU ARE ME. Or I am you, I guess, since you’re older. (And wiser. And more beautiful. Don’t hate me!)

    Anyway, in college I had to be taught how to make Ramen. And even then I once accidentally set the microwave for 30 min, instead of 30 seconds.

    And worst of all, I once reheated a slice of pizza INTO A PLASTIC PLATE. No no, not on top of a plastic plate. Well, okay, that’s how it started. But when it came out, after much popping and sizzling and a few sparks, the pizza was IN the plastic plate.

    Yeah, my roommates imposed strict microwave supervision after that.

  • kristanhoffman

    DOH. Double-posted, sorry! Am editing now…

  • The Cotton Wife

    Bacon grease is to be SAVED! But preferably in something metal…

    Not glass. I have the story to back that up.

  • bigtonyk

    I’ve had my share of Microwave ‘incidents’ the last involved a spaghetti squash that I didn’t “vent” well enough. They, you know, blow up.

  • lis

    Save your empty canned-good cans, poor the grease in there and store in the freezer. Be sure to tell your husband you are doing it. I assumed that’s what everyone did, and hub dumped over a full, hot can in our first house. Heh.

  • kristanhoffman

    CRAP tri-posted. My internet hates me… :(

  • Shanni_O

    #13 posted it first but we do it in the oven too. So easy. No mess. I suggest the new non stick foil though. I crinkle it up and the grease flows down into the valley and the bacon cooks on the ridges. Lots less fat. I still blot it with a paper towel though. Leaves your cooktop open for eggs & pancakes while the bacon cooks trouble free ;) YUM!
    —Now I hear the doggie treat commercial in my head, “BACON, I smell BACON…”

  • danagw

    AWESOME! Now you’re doing experiments. Just when I thought you couldn’t get any cooler.

  • J. Bo

    Oh, you guys make my fingers itch in wanting to give you cooking lessons. BACON GREASE IS PRECIOUS, PRECIOUS stuff! lis is right– save it in the freezer and use it judiciously in your cooking… that is to say, two tablespoons in a pan, a drained can of beans (plus a jalapeno or two, depending on your taste), salt and pepper, all stirred until hot and then mashed up– even Leta will love those “refried” beans, baby.

    Not to mention how awesome bacon grease is for fried eggs, fried potatoes, etc., etc…

    AND IT’S NOT TRANS-FAT, EITHER!

  • Shelly

    It also doesn’t work to put a gallon of milk on a recently used electric stove coil.

    I feel your pain!

  • Pandora Has A Box

    I fail to see how any of this is *your* fault. Clearly the bowl is inferior.

    But plastic is inherently inferior to glass or metal, which is where bacon grease should be housed in the future. I think you get super extra bonus points for not putting it down the drain.

  • acm

    hah, I’m similarly elderly — we had a specific (hard-cover) cookbook for our microwave, that included recipes for cooking roasts and other complete meals to delicious perfection in the microwave. yeah, right! :) )

  • jessicawoods

    once i poured cooled-down (or what i thought was cooled-down) cooking grease into a plastic water bottle in an attempt to save my drain any damage. I thought it would work fine. I mean aluminum cans can handle used grease, why not plastic? that was a mistake.
    not only did it begin to melt the bottle on contact- as i frantically attempted to pour it back into the pot from which it came, the oil that was being poured back in must have somehow changed its chemical compound makeup or whatever because it began hissing and popping so loudly in that pot that i ran away from it, thinking i may have accidentally created a homemade bomb.
    lesson learned.

  • TexasKatie

    Reminds me of the time when I was a kid and thought it would be a bright idea to boil an egg in the microwave. (HINT: NOT a good idea).

    Here is a tip for bacon grease, or any kind of grease. Take a coffee can and use it to hold your miscellaneous grease drippings. Stick it in a freezer and just use it over and over until it is all filled up. Then trash it once it is full. It is so disgusting what that stuff looks like when it is all filled up. GRODEY.

  • lisabethannm

    eeek! heather, don’t believe those plastic bowls are safe to heat food in the microwave either. not that my tinfoil hat is too tight — there’s just too many creepy things in plastic.
    some other time, i’ll tell you how delicious cookies made with filtered bacon grease are…

  • angelbee

    You know, I consider myself one of your oldest readers and as such I feel it’s my duty to point at you and laugh and say…Dude, you’re retarded.

    However, the way you told that frikin’ story is PRICELESS. That’s what I love the most about you, your ability to make a killer story out of the most mundane event.

  • Lynn from For Love or Funny

    Sure, your husband may be a Renaissance man, but I can’t think of anything more “Renaissance” than cooking with bacon grease!!!! YOU WIN!!!!

  • Interlocutor

    Your story eerily parallels an experience my roommates and I had in college. Except for bacon grease, ours was the oil needed to make pot brownies. Lesson learned: pot and I were not meant to be friends. And we kept the bowl too.

  • pinkone

    I would totally have done the exact same thing…right up to the blowing on the plastic in an effort to cool it off..
    and while my hubby doesn’t go “karina karina karina” (thank god or I’d kill him for it!) I am familiar with the “what in the world were you thinking?? are you TRYING to actively burn down/destroy the house in your spare time??” comments.
    I feel your pain. and what on earth does one DO with the bacon grease once cooled? have never seen the point of keeping it. I too, am a bacon-nuker. Though my mom fed it to the dog when I lived at home. CHUCK WILL ADORE YOU IF YOU DO THIS.

  • Ray1987

    First off: I LOVE the new masthead. ;o)

    Second: Oh you two are so funny. But don’t feel too bad. I would never think that bacon grease could do that to a bowl. WOWEE! O.o

  • BargainBex

    From one non-cooker to another: I totally believe that verbal stopage commands should work in any and all cooking situations. Every time. Without question.

  • Coyote

    Awesomesauce! I’m definitely going to try that. I usually poor bacon grease onto the dog kibble, but I’m rethinking that solution now. Your idea has far more artistic possibilities.

    Remember to create some Peeps art this Easter! Arrange various colored marshmallow Peeps onto a paper plate. Microwave to your preferred level of melted ‘doneness.’ (They grow first. A lot. Extremely funny.) The Peeps will stick to the paper plate when cooled, so you can hang your new artwork on the wall by simply poking a pushpin through the edge of the paper plate.

  • HalfAss Krissa

    We have a bare, naked spot in the corner of the back yard where no grass, (or anything else for that matter) will now (or, probably ever) grow. Because we pour all grease there. Future generations that live in this house will be stumped trying to figure out what kind of radioactive shit must be there to prevent ANYTHING from growing.
    This makes me happy for some reason. ;-)

  • pyjammy

    Okay, we have those bowls. Point taken. Don’t put bacon grease in them.

  • Anxious Annie

    Wow, I just googled “bacon grease melts bowls” and you came up as #7 already. I was really hoping you’d be number 1. I’ve cracked a glass salad bowl with hot stuff. I also got 3rd degree gravy burns from a microwave entree (HINT – don’t wear shorts while microwaving).

  • JustLinda

    I like the post-bacon one better. It’s like hip ART or something.

    I say you should sell it on eBay and donate the money to Haiti.

  • Amanda Brumfield

    I don’t think bowls are supposed to just melt like that. Especially if they are “microwave safe”. How the hell hot IS bacon grease? Scary.

    LOVE the new masthead.

  • verbal intent

    i’ll never forget the day that i put tin foil in my boyfriend’s beautiful brand new stainless steel microwave, not knowing any better. earned me quite an earful from his roommate.

  • honeyedhashette

    When the hubs and I were just dating I wanted to impress him with my mad culinary skillz. Fast forward into deep dinner preparation…someone (ahem…me) lacked the ability to add enough water to steam the broccoli. I burnt it. I burned broccoli! Fowl burnt broccoli stench is right up there in the “doesn’t get much worse than this smell” right alongside cat urine, burnt popcorn, halitosis…

    To this day, almost 8 years later, he will not let me forget it. Never mind that I have a food blog. That my kitchen is littered with every kind of cooking gadget you could dream of…That I take pictures of food I could, eat, order and I can whip up a mad cheesecake…maybe I should serve burnt broccoli at our anniversary…

  • alanmill

    My mom always had a grease container for this very purpose. Strains all the gunk out, and then you can use the strained grease–e.g., to fry chicken. Amazon still sells them. Just search for bacon grease containers.

  • Raggedy Sarah

    Reminds me of the time my friend put her plastic electric kettle on the stove and cranked the burner to MAX.

    And by “friend” I do mean a real friend. Not me in disguise…

  • Queen Bugaboo

    Last night I was preparing petri dishes for a lab I did today with my middle school science students. So I washed all the old plastic dishes and thought I’d plunge them in hot water for good measure. I’ve had plastic petri dishes that could withstand higher heat before, so it never occurred to me that these couldn’t. I dropped them into the hot water and they all started to melt. Oops. The kids thought my stupid mistake was pretty funny, though.

  • seattlemuse

    Not to quibble, but I don’t think that bowl is recyclable anymore!