• Eves1

    You go girl! You are fully deserving of all the great things that happen to you and your family as a direct result of the hard work you put in! You’ve earned it!!

  • amanda-rants

    How did I not know about Ebbitt’s!?!?!? I so would have been there!And Ben’s! Their strawberry shakes can’t be beat!(at least not in DC)

    Come back! Come back!

  • missylab

    I love your website. This article is the reason I read your site. It’s a lot of work to maintain a site and a family. I work full time as a Registered Nurse, and I think I have it easy compared to you!

  • srising

    Girl – I bet for every person that “hates” you there are a 1,000,000,000,000,000 (a million zillion) who LOVE you. Including me.

    Forget them! Boo yaaa!

  • ClaireinAustin

    I celebrate your success! and a discussion at the White House on workplace flexibility is absolutely terrific. parents especially need to care about these kind of conversations.
    I’m sorry people dump their stuff on you.
    I love your site, and love to read what you write. You make me laugh, and I love to read how motherhood is treating you.
    thanks for being honest and keeping it real.

  • Callaboy

    I recently purchased two of your books. I often read your posts on your site and you always make me laugh. What I find interesting is that a) I am a guy, and b) I am gay, so what do we have in common? More than I originally thought. I am literally laughing out loud reading your books, and I thank you for that. Keep on doing your thing. I wish you all the best and hopefully no more SHINGLES.


  • francabollo


  • hautemama

    Oh Dooce, I’m sorry the internet keeps kicking you in the shins, all I gotta say is, “you tell ‘em!”

    While there’s plenty of hate out there, I hope you know there’s lots of love out there too. I mean, at the risk of sounding all stalker-ey (is there any other way to sound when you only “know” someone through their blog?), your birthing experiences got the ball rolling on my own natural birth (and I make all of my pregnant friends read your labor stories), your family is awesome and hilarious and I feel empowered to laugh at my own life when it goes batshit insane, and you can rock cobalt tights and sweet ass boots that are right out of the dance-off scene in Love Is a Battlefield to a meeting with the White House. HOT!

    Keep your Hamilton chin up, we love you!

  • Nilbo

    NFL Hall of Fame running back James Brown used to get up the same way after every time he was tackled. Whether it was a devastating, body-crunching smackdown or a gentle trip-up, Brown would get off the turf excruciatingly slowly, then make his way back to the huddle or off to the sidelines at a measured pace that made both teammates and opponents impatient.

    When asked why, he said, “I always react the same way because I don’t want the other team to KNOW when they have hurt me. It gives them courage and hope they haven’t earned.”

    While I agree something needed to be said to these haters, I wish you could leave it to others. I would hate to let them think they’ve inflicted real damage …

    For myself, and for so many others, the admiration and respect goes on. And frankly … we’re better people than they are. So if you have to please someone, it ought to be us.

  • thedurttybride

    I love, love, lovity love this site. The haters can definitely SUCK IT!

  • andhat

    I joined the community just to be able to tell you that I am so incredibly proud that you were invited to Washington to be a part of the Workplace Flexibility talks. I can’t think of anyone I would rather have represent me. You will always tell it like it is and I appreciate that. Thank you for taking time away from your family to discuss such an important topic. I for one hope that the changes you all discussed will be timely in being implemented.

  • mom interrupted

    Some people are haters simply because they’re jealous. Thank you for having the chutzpah to tell the truth – whether some people like it or not. You rock.

  • UtahMom


    Love ya, Heather.

    Thank you for putting up with the idiots.

    I appreciate all you do.

    You go, gf!

  • rebeccak

    i think people think because they have a computer they are allowed to say just about anything- and can hide behind it. bring out the uglies in the world. you do a great thing- and have inspired me to start my own business (along with a few others). good for you! bad for the haters! you have a great heart!

  • Montyna

    You’re an ordinary woman. Ordinary woman who accomplish unordinary things will be hated.

    A couple of centuries ago you would’ve been burned at the stake.

  • ginntastic

    I’m amazed at what people get upset over. They really have nothing else better to do?

    You should be proud of what you’ve done and what you do. And remember there are lots of readers out there who love your blog and respect what you do.

  • Bones

    I am mormon and I would love to take you up on that sprite. And I love what you have to say whether I agree with it or not. You are a rock star and everyone else can piss off!

  • Michelle in Colorado

    Dear Heather~

    I have been following (and very much enjoying) your site for the past couple of years. This is the first time I’ve been compelled to leave a comment. I, too, am sick and tired of the haters out there, those who just can’t stand the success of others, who somehow feel that success for another human being undermines their own chances for and definition of success. Unfortunately, the Internet is the perfect breeding ground for the haters; they can sit at their computers at all hours of the day or night and blast their anger into their keyboards. I’m glad you wrote this post. I’m glad you are standing up for yourself. I, too, am a self-employed writer, and there are some folks out there who think my life is a breeze. But I do work hard, very hard. I have no paid benefits. I can’t just leave the office for a vacation and get paid to do so. My effort, each and every day, determines exactly the outcomes and any successes I might enjoy. Keep up the great work. I’m happy for you on all fronts–family happiness, work fulfillment, and the fact that you got invited to D.C., where I’m sure you were fabulous. You deserved the cheese fries, girl! Here’s to more success…

  • nicholee

    I’m absolutely jealous of you, but it’s mainly because of your hair. (And that, we know, is all due to Suave.) I was really excited to hear you’d be going to the White House, because I figured you’d have something useful and reasonable to say there. It’s like the internet had a senator for a day.

  • Jojo

    I don’t like spending too much time on-line because I don’t have it to spend. When I think of ways to wean myself off of email and other wasted web time, I do NOT think about skimming Heather’s blog because it enriches my life in a very real way. Our lives are so disconnected these days. I wish I lived near a “Heather” but I don’t. Thank you for inspiring me and helping me through life.

  • Mayonnaise

    Heather, I’ve been reading since you were Rockin’ the Suburbs like Quiet Riot Did. I’ve watched your website and family grow. I rarely comment and I know this sounds strange from a stranger – but I’m proud of you. Thank you for your website. I’ve learned a lot about myself just by reading how you’ve learned to deal with things. It’s not easy to learn in public. I’ve watched you do it so gracefully. Thank you again.

  • Peanut22

    Wow, I haven’t seen any hate towards you besides the ‘Monetizing the Hate’ site you put up, but seriously? People are STILL complaining and harassing you on the interwebs?

    I mean, of course most of us are jealous of the life you lead, but we can’t presume that it’s easy and that you live a life of luxury. Sure, there are times that you say things that make me go ‘hmmm’….but I don’t have to agree with them but I respectfully appreciate your opinion and/or decorating taste even if they don’t match my own tastes or budget.

    There will always be haters out there, I don’t think I’d be able to handle it all that well. So, kudo’s to you for this post!

  • Catootes

    It’s April and you don’t have a new masthead up yet. What the hell? It’s not like you were at the White House or something.
    Oh, wait.

    The haters? They can suck it.
    Thanks for sharing and informing and making me laugh. Plus it’s nice to know I’m not the only one with kid food issues and stubborness and yeah, just Thanks.

  • Lucy mom

    I didn’t read all the comments but skimmed and saw a few that I felt needed to be addressed.
    As a person who has spent 30 years of my life tackling working class women related issues I am good with you attending the forum. My organization had two representatives there and I have worked with a number of the participants. We need many voices to solve the problems our nation faces, from all walks of life.

    You are an example of many workers who, because they don’t have flexibility in their job, work to figure out how they can support their families while caring for them by creating a job at home. You managed to do just that and your experience is valuable to all of us to understand and appreciate.

    It is really amazing to me that you get whacked within your own community for this. Our members are mostly low wage women of color (and yes, BTW, they do have internet access and know how to use computers, thank you very much above commenter, just because people are poor doesn’t mean they are stupid – they actually can figure out how to get to the library) and they would see you as someone who figured out her life, even as they strugle mightily with a very different set of problems. The women I work with cheer for women generally.

    You provided an important perspective to this crucial issue of workplace flexibility. We are glad you were there, I hope you met my colleagues and friends, and I hope you know that those of us committed to changing the workplace to make a better world understand the value you brought to the forum. Thank you so much for attending.

  • eryn.chandler

    I think everyone else up top has said everything already.


    you go girl, me loves you, your blog = my favorite blog, and your children have the most beautiful eyes i’ve ever seen!

  • The Girl Who

    Good lord, I take 30 seconds to log in and 100 more comments appear. Anyway. Dammit, Heather! I hate that people have to be that way on the internet. Here you’ve gone and inspired thousands, created a community where we can bitch and moan about whatever we want, hell, you create awareness about so many things and make us all feel a little bit less alone.

    I’m so goddamn proud that, like me, you’re a former Mormon who lives in Utah and managed to claw your way out of that mind fuck and have helped me figure myself out along the way.

    When I heard you got invited to The White House my first reaction was RIGHT ON! Here’s this woman giving mommybloggers everywhere a good name. A great name. You have paved the way for every single one of these blogging motherfuckers whether they like to acknowledge it or not. Thank you for that. I cannot imagine the pressure, but thank you for blogging through the bullshit. And that’s about all I have to say about that.

  • dragonflyreflections

    I only wish I was a 10th as brave as you, Heather!! Keep your chin up – some of us really do realize you are human and we love you for it.

  • SquidlySue

    Heather, you have shared some of the most beautiful and some of the most painful parts of your life with the world, and as a result I have been able to nod and smile and laugh and cry with you for nearly four years now.

    This record of your life has, by sheer awareness of your struggles and triumphs and ALL CAPS and everything else, made mine better. I owe you a great debt of gratitude for helping a bored and depressed 22-year old realise that there was so much more to life than she had ever imagined, that it was a great and a good mess, worth every hardship, and that there is so much to look forward to, always.

    Thank you. For everything.

  • kpaige223

    I find professional bloggers who complain about their negative attention perplexing. I know they aren’t naive enough to think that everyone is going to like them. I also know they aren’t naive enough to think that the people who don’t like them won’t say mean things to them. So…is it just for the attention, these posts? Is this the blogger equivalent of Kate Moss complaining about how fat she is?
    People suck. They kill each other. They torment each other into killing themselves. There’s no such thing as Doocetopia. If that’s a problem for you, do something else. But I’m not going to keep visiting your site to read your scoldings. You signed up for the whole package, so keep your customers coming back. Suck it up and be funny.

  • jholland

    People can be such assholes. You’re right on though – the more of them I encounter, the more I want to better myself.

    So sorry you have to deal with crap like this.

  • gallygirl

    Sometimes when I find myself marveling at a person who so successfully handles their career that they seem to embody it, I say to my husband, “That person was meant to do that in life.” You were meant to write this blog. Thank you so much for sharing your many gifts with us (and thanks to your family for letting you share). Unfortunately, the job also comes with truckloads of crap, the extent of which we followers can’t even fathom. Please don’t stop because of that. You were meant to do this.

  • lumpsonablog

    Another fierce supporter here. Congrats on the trip to D.C. & all the recognition that came with it.

  • chrissiek

    Heather can you expand more on if Katey is still working for you speaking of flexible working places?

  • uthostage

    I’m writing this with only a small shot of caffeine in me, so I don’t know how much sense this will make.

    Haters suck. Big time. And I think you handle them with real class Heather.

    I wish more people took the time to walk in someone else’s shoes. Everyone faces challenges in their lives, but it’s how we face those challenges and rise above them that I think is important. People need to stop bitching about the what and focus on the how.

    Note to haters: Grow up. Get your head outta your ass. Stop trying to tear people down.

    I keep re-reading my comment & asking ‘WTF?’ Hopefully it makes sense to you. For me, though, it’s time for Starbucks.

    Stay strong Heather. :)

  • katka

    it needed to be said and you said it well. all the hate is sad and you are coping with grace, unlike the haters. be strong.

  • mandora

    What Erinlyn, the grad student, said waaaaaay up there, about a million comments ago… just add a ‘ditto’ to that – save me typing it all out.

    Also, I missed the drama, apparently (because us grad students have SO MUCH free time to read blogs, etc), but whatever was said – IGNORE it. You rule Heather. The. End.


  • HisBirdie

    (((BIG HUG)))
    Thank you for being a voice to say the things so many of us wish we could with an audience as large as yours.
    You rock! And those people do need to Suck it!

  • erinj1976

    You deserve everything you earn and you have earned it girl. Don’t worry about the haters because unfortunately they are everywhere. Just be true to yourself and your family. You will be fine.

  • bellyellie2

    wow, okay, I’m sorry. I read your site a lot Heather, but I created an account just so I could just say how completely amazing you are. I’m just out of college and you could not be more of an inspiration to young women. You are strong, well-rounded, independent and a working mother who, despite the hardships, has come out balanced. I can only hope that my life will lead me to be as well-adjusted and determined as you. This entry rocked my world, you go girl.

  • OLP

    Your Daily schedule is the same as Farm life in the early 1900′s, now you can add Time Traveler to your resume! You’re Great!

  • bubbytoots

    You go girl! I wish I had the balls to stand up the way you do and tell it like it is. I live a very different life than you, but I am so happy and proud of you. I think it is completely awesome what you do. Jealous that I can’t do it, but never would think you don’t deserve what you work so hard for. Congratulations on a job well done both professionally and personally.

  • TurdFerguson

    I hate haters! It’s easy to be mean & self righteous when you’re sitting behind a keyboard, obviously jealous of other peoples success. I’m 54 yrs old & have become more tolerant of most things as the years go by, except bullshit! I love your blog & wish I had this years ago when my daughters were young as your 2 little ladies. I’ll take you up on the late night talks anytime, my drink of choice is a cheap white zinfandel. Keep up the good work!

  • rabbitrabbit

    Don’t let the jerks get you down, mama. I’m amazed (though I shouldn’t be at this point) that anyone would think anything other than, “Well, YAY for you!” (in a non-sarcastic way) after reading about the DC experience. I thought it was incredible and very, very cool. Maybe I should have told you that earlier so it would help weigh in against all the RAGE!. I think that’s usually how it goes…those who get all worked up and panties twisted are the ones who scream and yell and bitch, and the rest of us are just laid back, thinking, “You totally and completely rock.” So, to say it out loud: What an awesome thing to happen to an awesome, deserving person.

  • lunatig

    hear hear heather! thank you for sticking true to yourself and blowing off those bastards who are jealous of your success. you’ve come a long way and I admire you for that. it is hard to be successful and a successful mother at that. those who can not accomplish great things themselves, those who are not willing to work hard enough hate to be reminded of their own lack of being. screw them. they have no real affect on your life. you have a strong support group who wishes to see you continue to succeed. it’s encouraging for me to see all that you’ve been through and will continue to go through only to come out shining at the other end. it gives me hope and encouragement to keep pushing for the things that I love. thanks again heather. don’t let those bastards keep you down.

  • Stenar

    I think it’s AWESOME that you got invited to the White House. So cool. Keep up the good work. I love your writing.

  • KatR

    Don’t have much more to add to what others have said, just that I was as proud and excited for you as if you were someone I knew personally…..

  • RathrBeAtWrigley

    Thanks for taking me on your roller coaster ride. I’ve never enjoyed a blog as much as yours.

  • KTFoley

    Dooce, please accept congratulations on your invitation to participate in the White House forum on workplace flexibility.

    This is for poster #572 and those with similar concerns. I invite you to read over the comments from post #580. It’s an excellent counterpoint to the “Dooce doesn’t represent me well enough to be there” delusion.

    Even without the smallness that flourishes in anonymous fora, the fundamental weaknesses in poster 572’s objections are these:
    1. That the forum was convened at all means that you are not ignored. The obstacles that legions of workers face every day to house, feed and nurture thriving, decent human beings were THE POINT of holding the forum.

    2. It’s not Dooce’s job to represent every point of view – not even yours. She represents her own. The responsibility to find a voice for your point of view falls not on her, but on you.

    3. Many voices and points of view were invited to the forum: Dooce’s inclusion did not lead to your exclusion.

    4. Being the subject of a forum cannot be the sole criteria for participating in it. Regarding that criteria, please hand in your homework now: Where is the blog that you devoted to making life work from stifling environments to unemployment to poverty to creativity and also to parenthood? Where is the book that you wrote on PPD, an aspect of motherhood that needs serious attention? Where is your evidence of having researched the related topics and developed a informed, articulate point of view that would add to a policy discussion? Where is your statistical and anecdotal evidence of having maintained an audience over time?

    5. Lots of people who DID do their homework were in attendance. Many of them have worked for a long time on this very topic, and many of them advocate for people in positions just like yours. It’s not Dooce’s fault that you don’t know who they are. IF YOU WANT TO PLAY IN THE BIG SANDBOX, GO FIND THEIR CONTACT INFO AND THANK THEM FOR THEIR WORK ON YOUR BEHALF.

    Sorry, need to end now. The Caps Lock key overheated.

  • Malissa


    Heather, your success is due to nothing but sheer hard-ass work, and those of us who come to your site every day know that. Those out there in Cyberland that feel the need to bash you do so because of nothing more than sheer, green-eyed jealousy. And you have every right to tell those fools to “SUCK IT!”

    Today you should be basking in the glow of visiting the White House, having an audience with the Prez, and getting the chance to talk about the difficulty and joy you and your family have had juggling work, life, and all the wonderful and horrible things that accompany them. NOT having to respond to all the JERKS out there who want to bully you from behind screen names. While I admire and respect you for defending yourself against the cowardly haters out there, just take solice in the fact that you and Jon will NEVER have to defend yourself to us, your friends/readers/followers/stalkers. Tonight I will be drinking a Makers as I toast your visit to The Prez. BTW, since you sat on the front row, did The Prez notice your kick-ass blue tights?

    And to all the haters out there, get a life. You’re really starting to look and sound pathetic.

  • kimberlydax

    Hugs Heather! Some people just plain suck and are so jealous I actually feel sorry for them!