I'm always on the look-out for being "Ma'am"ed as I think of it; give me a "Miss" any day. Makes me feel young and frisky!

Ahhh yes, I'll never forget the first time someone called me "Ma'am" - I was working retail over the summer. At the ripe old age of 21, hearing "Ma'am" from a tween in the Juniors department of Macy's was like a knife in the back. I wanted to fall into a grave and die right there next to the Guess booty shorts. Here I am eight years later teaching my kids to call me Mama. No ma'ams around here. Bad mojo.

I had the opposite experience. I grew up in the military, but we never lived in the south. If I said, "Yes Ma'am" or "No Sir," I was being a smart ass. (Only to my parents. I was always very respectful to everyone else!) When I was fifteen, we came to small town, Tennessee, and was I ever in for a culture shock. Early on, a teacher asked me if I was finished with my test. I answered, "Yes." He said, "Yes, what?" I said, "Yes, I'm finished." The class broke out in giggles, he was super pissed, and I was totally clueless. He then went off on me and I was quickly educated on the art of Yes Sir. Twenty years later, I ma'am and sir just about everyone, and I've taught my children to as well. They also call all adults by "Mr." or "Miss" followed by their first or last names. That's another thing I did: called adults by their first names. Seems sort of disrespectful now that I look back on it.

Being born in Michigan I was never taught to say ma'am or sir. It was always Mr or Mrs, so in so... or if they preferred their first names. Moving to Florida as a young child I guess I was too stubborn to pick this up and it wasn't until I started working retail that I started using this as a way to be polite to customers. However, I didnt think it was my place to try and determine how old or young someone was so I used ma'am or sir with every customer...even if they were my age or younger. No biggie.

I was brought up in the North and the South (all East coast though). In the North it was Mr./Mrs. last name. In the South it was Ma'am or Mr./Miss first name. I tend to go by the Mr./Miss first name for kids if they know the people. It still shows respect, but makes them familiar and approachable. I don't really mind being called ma'am, but it does give me a little punch-in-the-gut feeling when it's done by someone 2 years younger than me. Oh well. I'd still prefer ma'am to "hey lady".

Down here in the south, kids refer to women adults that are family friends as 'Miss' (and then attach your name). ex. Miss Stephanie.

I think it's so cute and somewhat formal without being tooo formal.

When I first started teaching at the ripe old age of 21, I was tempted to tell my students that they could call me Bitch or Whore if they would PLEASE just stop calling me Ma'am.

Now, older and more mature, I kinda like it.

My kid will be taught to call people Mr. and Ms. So-and-so until he is told differently, and like your parents, I believe in a "Yes, Ma'am?" or a "Yes, Mommy?" as a response when I call him. Call me rigid, but I want a respectful kid. Having been a teacher, I see the effect of otherwise, and they are not good - for kids or adults.

I grew up in Texas and haven't left... so I still say Ma'am and Sir.
But the day I turned 30, I was called Ma'am at the grocery store.

completely agree with deepthoughts 78 and wonder why it's frowned upon in utah. anyone care to catch me up on that one?

i'm 43 and still say yes ma'am to my mother. she doesn't expect me to at my age, but it's how i was raised and it's a sign of respect. i don't usually say it to someone my age or younger, but i don't think "thank you, ma'am" said in a friendly way should ever be looked at as insulting. if you're so sensitive about your age that being called ma'am is an insult, i say just be glad you've been given the opportunity to earn that ma'am. the alternative sucks!

Well, I'm 35 now. I use the word "ma'am" very rarely and only to get the attention of someone very clearly older than me that I don't know. (And as I get older, the number of people who fit that description keeps getting smaller. Funny that. And depressing. But I digress.) So if an older woman dropped her purse or something in the grocery store, I would say, "Ma'am? You dropped your purse." That's pretty much it. "Sir" works the same way. I would never use either for someone that I knew as a common way of referring to them.

I think that maybe I used "ma'am" and "sir" a bit more when I was a small child - under the age of 10. I have some recollections of using it. But I don't teach my children to use it. The most formal we get is to have them call the mothers of their friends (we're talking the preschool set) by the term Miss First Name. Fathers get no such respect, as Mr. First Name sounds ridiculous.

I, however, am "ma'am"ed occasionally. How do I feel about it? Well, it's not great. But it's not the worst thing ever, and I'm getting used to it as my age advances. I get it mostly from young store or restaurant employees.

Awww, this made me all warm-fuzzy for you and your dad's relationship. Which I know was totally not the point, but still.

I, too, am from the south (still live there) and make my kids use "ma'am" and "sir", I try to use it as well, even though I am thirty-freakin'-five. Once it is ingrained in you... it's hard to stop.

I also wanted to comment about what Leta calls you. My kids have to start every sentence with "mama", I swear! I got so tired of hearing it that I told them they had to start calling me "beautiful" instead. It actually worked for a day or so. It was so nice hearing, "Beautiful, can you get me some juice please?" I told them when I got tired of that I would be called "O Most Intelligent One." Never got to that though... Mama came roaring back!

Southern born, bred, and still residing and we call EVERYONE older than ourselves Ma'am and Sir. I did not know there was another way for a very long time. I personally plan on teaching my kids to say it as a form of respect. I did however get LAUGHED at the first time I visited New York and said it to someone. Oh well that is how we do it in the South and as long I am here that is what I will do.

Is your father is from Tennessee? I had the exact same experience...except that he was the one yelling for me from across the house. Ditto with the one-millimeter-from-my-face do-better talk.

And ALL of the other practices your father taught you...mine taught me as well. His personal favorite: Five minutes early is on time. Understandably, mother has a difficult time getting him to understand that it's okay to be a "few minutes later" to a cocktail party.

When I moved to Charleston, South Carolina, I started tutoring this little boy called John William, and the first time he said "yes, ma'am" I was like WHAT? I'm not a MA'AM! I'm TWENTY THREE. But after that, I kind of grew to like it. At least from little kids -- not so keen on it from grocery store clerks.

I prefer what they say in England though, which is "madam." Somehow, "Madam, do you have any ID to purchase that large bottle of wine?" sounds so much better.