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Browse: Home › 2010 › April › 26 › Locking up the cabinets

Locking up the cabinets

2010/04/26

This morning after Marlo tossed her empty bottle three feet toward the end of the bed and then clawed her way on top of me almost head first over into the floor, in what seemed like a split second, I grabbed her by the legs, TO SAVE HER, turned to Jon and was all, um, what were we thinking? Because I know going into this I didn’t think this thing would ever move.

In just the last couple of days Marlo has put it all together and is crawling intricate paths throughout the main floor. Quickly. More quickly than we can childproof everything. Because with the last kid we just sat her on the floor, surrounded her with books, and then said we’d be back in a couple of hours.

You scoff, but now she’s reading encyclopedias. And has suffered only minor injuries.

This development has raised the chaos level in the house from Scary Jon Hair to Now Jon Has None. And the reality of having two children is now The Reality of Having Two Children. Before it was one who could entertain herself plus another you could turn your back on for more than two seconds. Now, it’s one who is very upset that the other one is touching her stuff and one who is trying to put the dog’s nose in her mouth while simultaneously touching her sister’s stuff.

This sounds so stupid, but I really never considered the brain machinations required to manage two mobile children. It’s just so different and, frankly, exhausting. There is always the nagging feeling that whoever is watching Marlo is not watching Marlo, and now she’s got the poker to the fireplace halfway down her throat. Note: that feeling caused me to move the poker to the garage, a childproofing maneuver that caused Marlo to stiffen her entire body and howl as if I had just rearranged her eyeballs.

Poor baby can’t play with the fire poker! Well, poor baby shouldn’t have learned to crawl! Fair-sies!

Posted in Daily | Tagged Marlo Armstrong, Parenthood

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  • JoanInColorado

    First off, she is adorable. Truly adorable.

    Second, give me a call when they are both driving, have two different curfews, and Leta is dating someone you don’t like (either a devout Mormon or member of a punk rock band, take your pick.)

    You will look back on these times and think they were a walk in the park, I promise! Enjoy them while you can!

  • xuallan

    She is ADORABLE. I started walking at 7 months. I didn’t believe my mom when she told me.
    Desktop WallPapers

    you know your supercute house? In a few months, it may resemble a padded cell as you learn to put everything breakable/dangerous out of her increasing reach. Our son got so he’d be showing us how to undo the childproof locks etc.

  • dtelisman

    Wow, beautiful little girl. Maybe in 20 years we can fix her up with my 2 year old. It might be the first mormon-jewish marriage.

  • megrit411

    I just love the slightly drunken wobble. And the happy smile on her face when she gets to Leta is priceless. You are doing a fabulous job raising two incredible kids!

  • Daily Cup of Jo

    Oh, you make me laugh. I have three kids and I love babies. I tell people I would’ve had another were it not for that crawling/learning to walk stage. Hated it! I felt like all nerves were exposed and that my children would never survive. Good news! They did and all of them still have both of their eyeballs intact. (I’m not sure about their teeth.)
    http://dailycupofjo.com

  • joeys zoo

    This post just made me relive the most traumatic moment of my childhood. I was six when my first sibling was born. I was a kid just like Leta, loved nothing more than a good book. I came home from school one day to find my that brother had torn every single page out of every one of my books. I walked into my room and there he was, sitting gleefully in the midst of the carnage, a pulpy mass oozing from his lips.

    Good you’re not letting Margo touch Leta’s stuff! I’m still in therapy.

  • Sally

    OMG. Once again, THANK YOU for posting. Just today, as I was scraping a sticker off my kitchen floor, wondering how the hell it got there, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Shit. This is what life is like when I have two mobile children, one of them tall enough to get to the things like scissors that the little one can then run wildly through the house with. Sigh. I used to be so judgmental about other people’s houses when I saw things like stickers on the kitchen floor or crayon drawings on the carpet. Now I just shrug, knowing there is no way to stop it AND keep peace in our house.

    Motherhood: a love greater than your love of sleep, organization, and good personal hygiene.

  • Mom Of Two

    That coffee table SCARES me…which is why we don’t have one in our family room right now with our crawler.

  • sheameister

    I walked into the kitchen yesterday to find my 16-month old doing yoga poses ON TOP OF THE KITCHEN TABLE. I knew he could climb the chairs, but I didn’t realize that was just a means to a different end. Nightmare.

    And when he isn’t scaling furniture, he’s eating out of the garbage can… or dumping its contents (hello, this morning’s coffee grounds) onto the floor, in his hair, his ears… I found cereal flakes in his butt crack earlier this week. WTF?

    My first was NOT like this, and that is not revisionist history. Had my first been like my second, there would never have been a second. No joke!

    And for the record, I have never “rubberized” a coffee table or any other angular piece of hard furniture. Aesthetically, it’s just not happening… but furthermore, my kid would have anything stuck onto a table OFF (and in his mouth) in mere seconds, so what’s the point exactly?

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  • ncbmom

    I don’t know if someone else already said this but…

    GET THEE AN EXERSAUCER
    AND A DOORWAY JUMPER.
    AND A FENCE. YOU GET A BIG PLASTIC UGLY FENCE AND PUT TOYS IN IT.

    Then you rotate the baby around all the different “holders” while you try to get your chores done.

  • ugniesdebesys

    Like here Funny or…. But she is right

  • ugniesdebesys

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  • Twinma

    But look how happy she is!

  • kayakgrrl

    We put the child locks on the cabinets last Saturday after the girl found the Cheerios. *sigh*

    (About an hour ago, I heard the dog yelp in pain because the girl was pulling his tail. *deeper sigh*)

  • HDC

    Looks like your babyproofing needs to include speedbumps in the kitchen.

  • fidothefatcat

    CRAP. My daughter is so close to crawling. She is on all fours rocking back and forth. Did I say CRAP already? I know lots of other first-time parents would be excited. I am not so much. I like being able to run to grab x,y,z and have her be in the same place when I return 30 seconds later. I said CRAP, right?

  • Joolsmum

    My deepest sympathies about the oncoming ulcer you’ll bust out over this little darling being able to search and destroy. My son walked at 9 1/2 months old, skipping the crawling altogether, and it nearly did me in. What 9 1/2 month old has the judgement, let alone sense of balance, to walk around in this world full of sharp corners, river rock quartz floors (beautiful but oh-so-dangerous!), dog doors and yards with dog poo??!! I ask you! Gawd.

    Enjoy the insanity and stress. It is but a short time and then you’ll miss that all too brief adorable and gut churning era. Ah yes, memories…

  • Mrs Smith

    My first never left my side. My second started exploring from the minute she could crawl. I knew the security procedure for a lost child at every major department and grocery store within 20 miles. That kid could get out of a stroller or grocery cart in 3 seconds flat.

    At 18 mos. she crossed a major thoroughfare following a kitten who came across our yard. We were frantically searching when luckily a woman with her own small child saw her, picked her up and drove her back home.

    So, yeah, enjoy the crawling phase.

  • dejavu2

    I feel your pain! The second child is such a crazy, active child compared to the first or maybe it’s just because your attention is divided?! Our daughter can disappear in about five seconds flat and she can also empty our bathroom drawers (which we still haven’t baby proofed for some unknown reason!) in five seconds too.
    Fun stuff:)

  • suzanne_e

    I watched the whole video hoping that she wasn’t going to bang her head into that table…

    I have twin boys who are now 10. Keeping track of them was a nightmare, so…yeah. You have my sympathies.

  • I Had Ice

    That kid is freakishly flexible and alarmingly adorable at the same time. That coffee table is begging to leave a nice mark in her head. EEK!
    I’m gonna go enjoy a Diet Coke now…nice product placement!

  • freckleface

    Ugh I have no kids, but I’m feeling the stress from just THINKING about keeping track of two little ones! But it was quickly alleviated by that ADORABLE, adorable video. Omg, when she goes from crawling to sitting up I died a little from the cuteness. Awwww!!

  • d3 voiceworks

    i was looking at that diet coke thinking: at least marlo ain’t going for that. ewwwww.

    i know that dread of **hoping** another is watching your baby but **thinking** they probably are not :(
    at least not like YOU or I would.

  • austinmomof7

    You would think after having seven kids, I would have my house babyproofed, but I have had to call poison control four times on my two year old. She can scale a kitchen cabinet in the blink of an eye. It doesn’t matter how well you Marlo proof, if she wants it, she will find a way to get it.

  • Joy777

    when is she going to learn to grab the diet coke off the coffee table?

  • mrsschmoo

    My son is just a bit younger than Marlo and has been full on walking for over a month now. He is my 4th baby but my first boy. I have never had to really baby proof before this. I am thinking of just mounting everything to the ceiling although I am sure that he would find his way up there too!

  • mydogwontbite

    my ovaries and uterus are crying out for a baby right now. thanks.

    in spite of that, i demand more videos of marlo crawling and eating. love the way she pushes herself into a sitting position.

  • Bluestalking

    We put our fireplace tools away for about five years. We totally forgot we even HAD them. Our kids are two years or less apart and we have three of them. Imagine one mom running THREE WAYS while her husband was at work.

    ARRRGH!

    They’re now 12, 14 and 16. The only thing we worry about them putting in their mouths is ALL OUR FOOD.

  • mommica

    Isn’t it crazy how you never really understand what people are going through until you go through it yourself? Ah, well. Off to make baby number two…

  • A.T.s_mama

    Ahhh, have fun with that!
    My son is almost a year ago, and I’m fairly certain I ONLY WANT ONE!

    He’s started standing up in the blink of an eye — like, one minute he could barely crawl, and the next minute he was crawling into the dryer and chasing after ants (and most likely eating them, but I figure ants are OK, compared to some of the stuff he’s eaten.)

    Have you tried giving her a pair of scissors and a plastic bag? That oughta keep her occupied.

  • the niffer

    Not only a great story, but love the writing. Seems to get better and better every day.

    The video is pure icing. Yummy, yummy icing.

  • ChickWhitt

    Let her get into the liquor cabinet, then you both will get some rest!

    Oh, and for those table corners, giant maxi pads work wonders. They should use it in their ad campaigns.

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