Will certainly be added to Sarah's list
After I put up Sarah's guest post on Monday, member Brea commented that the whole spontaneous, earnest singing thing bugs her as well, and then went on to say, "I also despise whistlers." That was one of those things that hit me right in the funny bone, and I whispered it under my breath all day long and laughed audibly every time. And upon reflection, that is probably the creepiest behavior ever. Like I'm responding to the voices in my head out loud. And snickering about it like a thirteen-year-old boy who just masturbated to a poster of Hannah Montana.
Sorry, world!
It was like that one time Jon and I were headed home from dinner, driving below the speed limit because we were trying to soak up every last minute of being away from the kids. When this crazy chick walks out into the middle of traffic out of nowhere, and five cars have to brake, and there's screeching and blood and mangled hair goes flying, and she stops right in front of our halted car. Right there in the middle of the road! And she makes the angriest face at Jon as if Jon had been put on this earth specifically to kill her. Sorry, crazy chick. He was put on this earth specifically to put money in Steve Job's bank account. Not nearly as noble.
And in that split second if you had looked around at all the cars that had screeched to a halt you would have seen the shock. So Jon rolled down the window, stuck his head as far out as physically possible and yelled, "Well then get out of the road, yah dumb bitch!"
And he didn't know this until I had stopped laughing an hour later and told him, but he yelled that whole thing in a Southern accent.
Not his finest moment, no. But whenever he does something really absentmindedly, AS HE IS WONT TO DO, I'm quick to refer to him in those exact terms.
My point after that giant tangent was to say, you guys, Tyrant is a whistler. An unabashed whistler.
Let that soak in for just a second, because it gets worse. I know you didn't think it could, but it does! Because he doesn't whistle songs. NO! HE JUST WHISTLES.
HE MAKES IT UP AS HE GOES ALONG.
So it's not like you could hum right along with him to the tune. Because you have no idea what note is coming next. NEITHER DOES HE.
I remember the first time I asked him, I was like, dude, I can't figure out what you're whistling. And could you please stop. And he goes, what? A song? Who whistles songs?
I mean, right? It's like, who eats food? Who gives birth to children? Who prays to God?
So I decided that if he can get creative with the printer, then so can I! So I made a little friendly sign/reminder and taped it to the front door:
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dianemaggipinto... said:
i did NOT see that coming. tyrant as whistler. whoa.
06.23.10 - 10:02 AM / 1ChristineQ said:
Whistle back... Double your annoyance, double your fun!
06.23.10 - 10:04 AM / 2ninesandquines said:
i am SO putting that sign in my office. our IT guy does the EXACT.SAME.THING as the tyrant....NO idea what he is whistling....it's effing annoying!!!!
06.23.10 - 10:07 AM / 3meganithappen said:
As a whistler (albeit of SONGS), I'm so sad to know I'm despised. :(
I'm going to have to establish some control, apparently, over this habit.
06.23.10 - 10:13 AM / 4Nerdista said:
I'm a whistler. I don't whistle songs (who whistles songs???) and I think it's genetic, my dad whistles too.
06.23.10 - 10:28 AM / 5tracy said:
Well I can't whistle so it's good to know there's still a chance of a real-life friendship ;)
That being said, I have a brilliant short film a friend made that I'm going to send to you.
06.23.10 - 10:28 AM / 6Snarkmeister said:
My hubby is a whistler. He whistles songs, but he's very theatrical about it; it's like Disney-bird-trilling whistling - all warbly and stuff. We met in high school, then lost touch for about ten years after that, and every time I heard someone whistling that way I would turn around and expect him to be there. (He was "the one that got away" - we never dated back in HS, but came close a few times.) I finally found him on myspace a few years ago and we ended up getting married last year. All because I couldn't forget him and his whistling.
06.23.10 - 10:30 AM / 7Janice said:
Fire him. Immediately. You're children could grow up to be whistlers. I'm not as mean a person as that sounds. I get migraines. The sound is horrendous.
06.23.10 - 10:32 AM / 8megnstuff said:
Ha! I needed a good laugh. I am in the final weeks of pregnancy and any distraction from think about baby is welcomed with open arms.
I don't have any funny whistling stories but I think I may make myself a "I also despise whistlers" sign just in case my midwife is a whistler!
06.23.10 - 10:37 AM / 9Truthful Mommy said:
BwahahaahA! I am agreeing with Janice! Ok, he must be given a cease and desist order. You are in danger of having his bad habits rub off and you being left with children who are....WHISTLERS!!
06.23.10 - 10:44 AM / 10wagabu said:
My husband rides the train to work. Trying to get some work done but couldn't because the dude behind him was HUMMING. He hummed the entire 40 min. trip. Who does that?
Now I would have asked him to stop. I don't mind that. He just tolerated it. And then bitched for 40 min. at home. Arh!
Dude, do it in your own home, not in public. It's noise pollution!!!
06.23.10 - 10:51 AM / 11klate said:
I'm thrilled to know I'm not the only misanthrope who hates the whistling. What are you so goddam cheerful about!? :)
06.23.10 - 10:52 AM / 12Pinkporches said:
My husband hums peppy little songs when he's mad at me. Though I will NOT be putting an "I also despise hummers" sign on my door.
06.23.10 - 10:53 AM / 13tracy said:
As promised:
http://www.thinfilms.net/tag/conductor/
06.23.10 - 10:59 AM / 14shuggilippo said:
I just pissed myself. That's all I've really got.
Sidenote: The urinating began at the Hannah Montana masturbation reference and has now commenced again for having brought it up for the sake of lengthening my comment. So there's that.
06.23.10 - 11:10 AM / 15mommica said:
So, when my sister lived in New Hampshire for a while, we all started saying "Geezum Crow!" (instead of Jesus Christ) in a kind of "haha, northeasterners are funny" kind of way. But now I say Geezum Crow all the time for real and people give me looks. I imagine this is what has happened to Jon. He started out making fun of your southern accent and now it just comes naturally. I love it.
06.23.10 - 11:21 AM / 16TXinUK said:
I'm not a whistler but only because I am seriously lacking in whistling skillz. This is because I was taught to whistle by an older cousin who also liked to dip. So, when I whistle its over my bottom teeth with my lower lip bulging as if I had a huge pinch of dip in there. Yeah, its hawt.
06.23.10 - 11:25 AM / 17friend2canines said:
Being a bit of a Pollyanna here when dealing with pet-peeves, I always think "it coud be worse".
So in the case of a "constant whistler" I have to say "it could be worse...he could be a FARTISTE".
So count your blessings it could be worse, MUCH WORSE!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roland_the_Farter
You're welcome.
06.23.10 - 11:37 AM / 18denice said:
i don't mind if people whistle around me as long as they don't mind if i punch them in the face when they do.
06.23.10 - 11:43 AM / 19adi82 said:
LOL, well I guess it's a good thing Tyrant doesn't live in South Carolina. They are working on a law there that states:
"It shall be unlawful for any person to yell, shout, hoot, whistle, or sing on the public streets, particularly between the hours of 11:00 p.m. and 7:00 a.m. or at any time or place so as to annoy or disturb the comfort, or repose of persons in any office, or in any dwelling, or other type of residence, or of any persons in the vicinity."
http://www.cnn.com/2010/TRAVEL/06/22/south.carolin...
Nice, huh? :)
06.23.10 - 11:44 AM / 20Lo The Phoenix said:
Ugh I hate whistling too. I see bumper stickers....
06.23.10 - 11:49 AM / 21tokenblogger said:
Okay.
I'm a whistler and a hummer.
And not songs, either (good to know Tyrant and I have something in common).
And most times I don't even know I'm being so musically audible until someone says something like, "can you please stop."
06.23.10 - 11:53 AM / 22friend2canines said:
Wow, who knew?
A book about a FARTISTE?
"...His symphonic farting was purely recreational until... he ventured into Paris and took the artistic community by storm. Much of his act's success apparently relied on his deadpan delivery; his hilariously expressionless face allowed him to play straight man to the low (but impressive) comedy provided by his butt. ..."
Reading level: Ages 4-8!
AWESOME
http://www.amazon.com/Fartiste-Kathleen-Krull/dp/1...
06.23.10 - 11:54 AM / 23malisams said:
I'm also in the "despise whistling" camp, at least in public. It's noise pollution as far as I'm concerned. Guaranteed no one wants to hear your breezy mouth rendition of "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah" but you.
So for those who like to whistle, it's cool. Just do it at home! You know, back in the briar patch, where you and Br'er Rabbit and Br'er Bear can harmonize on that shit.
06.23.10 - 11:54 AM / 24davesanngel said:
This provided a much needed laugh. The image of Jon yelling that out the window starting a giggle fit, and it progressed to outright laughter by the time I got to the picture.
Thank you.
06.23.10 - 11:57 AM / 25davesanngel said:
Good grief - that should say "started" not "starting". My English professors would be having a fit!
06.23.10 - 11:58 AM / 26Enatural7 said:
I didn't know a tyrant could be a whistler. It just seems wrong.
06.23.10 - 11:58 AM / 27Jan said:
Off topic a bit, but what drives me crazy are the goofy expressions in the photos of the child models for the K-12 e-schools ad used here. At least this one is not as bad as the ones they provided some months ago (this particular kid is very cute, yes). BUT THEY MAKE ME CRAZY. Almost as much as the radio Geico ads. And TV actors doing the voices for radio ads for Wachovia ("Allan" from 2 1/2 Men) and Verizon ("Pete" from Mad Men). 'Scuse, I need to go make a tinfoil hat for myself.
06.23.10 - 12:09 PM / 28TexasKatie said:
I do whistle now and again but not all the time, and usually when I do, it is some sort of tune that I am whistling. I sort of equate it to muttering under one's breath - it is sort of an unconscious thing.
My dad is a whistler, though. One of those whistlers that has no rhyme or reason to his whistling. It doesn't even sound like a SONG. It sounds like this annoying, breathy, retarded bird that is on drugs. It is like this up and down, ridiculous whistle. ARGH. That sort of whistling makes me want to punch kittens.
06.23.10 - 12:10 PM / 29naysway said:
Yeah, my grandfather was a whistler. Did that same crap walking the trash cans in, whistling some inane tune. Then you'd walk around whistling it because, obviously, you were just as retarded. Now I'm married to a whistler of randomness so, you know. There's that.
06.23.10 - 12:36 PM / 30