In defense of football
A couple of weeks ago when I was in New York for HGTV I grabbed a quick drink at the hotel bar before the car to the airport arrived, taking a seat right underneath a giant flat screen TV that was tuned to The World Cup. There were only a few other people there, and suddenly I heard a really loud, obnoxious voice from behind me complaining about "this boring soccer crap." And when I turned around to see who he was talking to, I noticed he had a fancy set of golf clubs sewn on the left chest of his shirt. Did I just sum up America in that last bit, or what?
I mean, boring? Have you even seen a match? Because boring is certainly not the first word that comes to mind when I'm watching one. Sexy, yes. HOLY BATSHIT INSANE, totally. Those guys are running, like, a hundred miles and looking mighty fine while doing so. How hard is it to look that good while just standing there on a patch of grass while whacking a ball with a pole? Not really, but how many SO HOT I JUST MIGHT ORGASM FROM STANDING NEAR THE TELEVISION golf players have you ever seen?
Well, I guess if you're really turned on by a beer gut.
You must have a dooce® Community account to leave a comment.
If you've already registered, login.
If this is your first time posting here, snag a free account.
FM Living
mihow said:
Do I have to say I love you again? No. No, I do not.
I adore soccer. And it's fine if people do not. My only request is, when people don't like it, I wish they would not like it quietly—like I do when it comes to baseball.
06.28.10 - 03:16 PM / 1chrisdennis said:
Anthony Kim.
Luke Donald.
Aaron Baddeley.
ADAM. EFFING. SCOTT.
I rest my case.
(I'm a huuuuge fan of golf, and not so much with the soccer.)
06.28.10 - 03:12 PM / 2Cissyrene said:
Haha, not only all that... but have you watched GOLF!? Omg, watching the fake grass grow would be more fun. Plus, the golf clap takes all the fun out of ANYTHING.
06.28.10 - 03:15 PM / 3raspberryripple said:
England keeper...oh my...my English husband wasn't the only Mr. Pouty Pants around our house when they lost the other day...
06.28.10 - 03:20 PM / 4territorial said:
Mr. Palmer was hot in his day.
Wow, I can't believe I just typed that.
06.28.10 - 03:24 PM / 5srising said:
I really like watching soccer, especially the World Cup. It's so exciting and disappointing at the same time. When the game is over, the losing team looks SO SAD!
Also, the Spanish national team has the hottest players. Really.
06.28.10 - 03:28 PM / 6srising said:
And watching golf is boring!!!
06.28.10 - 03:29 PM / 7Ariel said:
Oh HELLS YES!
Did you SEE the Australian Soccer team?
I sat there growling. My husband was NOT amused.
Thank God for dvr.
06.28.10 - 03:35 PM / 8TriptikGirl said:
The Argentina team is by far the hottest! My husband couldn't complain that I was drooling because I was voluntarily watching sports.
Golf puts me to sleep, much faster than the drone of those obnoxious vuvuzelas...
06.28.10 - 03:48 PM / 9Jenni said:
Golf. Srsly. Next time I pass a golf course, I am taking out the bee swarm horns.
06.28.10 - 03:58 PM / 10solaana said:
Screw chickens (so to speak) - this is my porn. It is wonderful and so so heartbreaking that it only happens every 4 years. (I know there's profesh soccer in Europe but I want all these guys, on one team, according to nationality, damnit!)
06.28.10 - 03:59 PM / 11Betsy said:
I am a little offended that a buffoon sums up America for you. But I am really more interested in all the hot soccer players. And yes, Argentina, yes.
06.28.10 - 04:01 PM / 12tallnoe said:
I'm LOVING the world cup. Not just because of how excited everyone is getting. I mean, everyone is getting excited, but OMG, the HOTNESS!
Yum.
That's all.
06.28.10 - 04:02 PM / 13newbuffalomom said:
Brazil team is yummy. Go Millnar. :-)
Too bad Kaka is married.
06.28.10 - 04:13 PM / 14Agent Scully said:
A thousand times YES!
You'll always have the Americans who hate football because it's popular "over there" (meaning everywhere else). But I'm ecstatic to see so many Americans getting into the sport with this World Cup. It's a great game, anyone can play, it's not slowed down by all the replays and the men! THE MEN! We've got sweat and abs and shirt exchanges... Did I mention THE ABS?
(P.S. My reCaptcha is "sweat goods". Yes. Yes they do.)
06.28.10 - 04:15 PM / 15Greta Koenigin said:
Actually, America is full of ardent soccer fans. The golf community does not sum up America. Just that 10% or so that gets all the attention.
06.28.10 - 04:16 PM / 16simonecv said:
Thank you!!! You're the the first American I see defending footbal and, as I'm brazillian, i now love you forever! :D
06.28.10 - 04:30 PM / 17Utahcouple said:
Amen sister - soccer is H-O-T especially if the team takes off their shirt at the end of the game. There was a funny video on The Onion last week that featured "Soccer comes out as gay". Good times.
06.28.10 - 04:32 PM / 18Babydoll said:
I know little to nothing of sports. I was never Sporty Spice in high school, nor did I participate in a league of any kind. I just couldn't whip up enough enthusiasm to chase a ball - I mean, really, what's the point?
That said, even though I don't understand or know the rules of a sport, it doesn't mean that I don't have an appreciation for the athleticism (read: HOTNESS) and hard work that it takes.
I had never seen the World Cup before Saturday, but I could only watch briefly. Those vuvuzelas (I learned this word the same day) sounded too much like a swarm of bees. That cancels out hot athleticism in my book any day.
06.28.10 - 04:33 PM / 19susanfishy said:
Preach it, sister!
06.28.10 - 04:34 PM / 20fleuris said:
Meh... I'm more peeved by the fact that NOBODY CARES about soccer for ages, then world cup comes around and all everybody wants to talk about is soccer, their favorite team, scores etc.
I could care less... now stop honking your horn every time your team wins!!!1 They can't hear you from here, and you're only bothering everyone else... GAH.
06.28.10 - 04:40 PM / 21playrawkstar said:
hallelujah!!!
06.28.10 - 04:49 PM / 22Wookie said:
...and the refs aren't too bad either. One was so hot I murmured "oh my" and involuntarily started fanning myself a la Scarlett O'hara. Then had to explain to Husband that "oh, uh, that judge-guy is very handsome." Husband: "'that judge-guy' is called a ref and I've been told I'm handsome." Yes, yes you are honey, let's get you some shin guards and knee socks.
06.28.10 - 05:04 PM / 23Carynami said:
As long as Wayne Rooney is not on your list of 'hot', I'll agree with you. Not a huge fan of the game due to having the English premier league shoved down my throat when I lived there... but the Dutch, Spanish, and S. American teams are something else.
06.28.10 - 05:24 PM / 24JulieTheBlogger... said:
I will admit that I was totally unapparent to the concept of soccer until word cup (proving the point of Fleuris, above....)and that maybe David Beckham is kind of cute...
06.28.10 - 05:39 PM / 25Amanda Brumfield said:
Personally, I'm a tennis person, but them soccer boys sure is purty.
06.28.10 - 05:57 PM / 26jacqueline said:
footballers be pimpin.
06.28.10 - 06:04 PM / 27Taunt said:
Werd.
06.28.10 - 06:39 PM / 28adventuregirl77 said:
Okay so did you see Brazil play Chile today? Um, wow! I watched it at the gym while on the treadmill and I almost tripped a couple of times staring at those guys. I was bummed when I thought it was Brazil v. China (BRA v. CHI) but instantly became enthralled when I realized my mistake. The Brazil guys alone would have been good, but seriously both together, wow! A trip to South America would be too much eye candy.
Alecia @ Hoobing Family Adventures
06.28.10 - 07:07 PM / 29maggiemacleod said:
Ugh. Amen to that...welcome to America. When I lived in Europe as a child, we'd get out of school for soccer games. One more reason I grew up thinking it was the best sport ever invented.
06.28.10 - 07:29 PM / 30