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Beth

This is Beth, Jon’s nephew’s girlfriend. They are both about to start their final year of law school, so we are going to be very diligent about having them over and stuffing them with bourbon as often as we can. And then we’ll hire them for a bargain to handle all our legal affairs!

My therapist will have a field day

I always promise that I’m not going to do this, but then the dream is either so amazing or absurd that I can’t help myself and here I go again. I’m going to write about a dream I had. WAIT! STOP! Before you hang up on me, trust me that this one is totally worth [...]

Sir Charles, silently suffering

Him: I’ve had bowel movements more refined than that dog. Her: AHHEEEELLLLLGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLHHHHHH!

The secret lives of hoarders

This is a Martha Stewart Living from 1999. Up until about three months ago I had stacks and stacks of every magazine I have ever bought or subscribed to, thinking, one day I’m going to need to look through these for inspiration! ONE DAY! And then Tyrant threatened to start throwing them away willy nilly [...]

Wherein I expose our clutter

The state of our office right now is exactly like that one time I went to visit a certain boyfriend of mine in Hayward, California where he was going door to door selling pesticide for the summer. He was living with four or five other guys at the time, and when I walked into the [...]

Hair band

Both Jon and Tyrant think we should cut Marlo’s hair because she looks like Jon Bon Jovi in the mid-eighties. Party all the time in the back. I can’t bring myself to do it, though. It seems sacrilegious. Besides, in a matter of months she’ll cut it herself when we’re not looking. Better to give [...]

The older child

So Bobo has the chicken pox. It’s not nearly as bad as it sounds, meaning it’s only a very mild case, a side effect from the chicken pox vaccine that only five percent of kids suffer from. Both of my kids were in that five percent. But, OF COURSE THEY WERE. What would this blog [...]

Custom pet portraits

Kristen Bowen, the artist behind doghousepetportraits.com, sent me these portraits she made of Chuck and Coco. I could not believe how perfectly she captured both dogs, and I think it has to do with the fact that she totally nailed the eyes. These will most certainly be a part of the office remodel, and I’ll [...]

Majesty

I was in both New York and San Francisco last week, and I’m still trying to figure out what time zone I’m in right now. I love both cities passionately, but now that Salt Lake has been my home for eight years I always feel my heart rise when I see this from the plane. [...]

The next adventure

As I’ve mentioned before, one of the main reasons we chose to move (and bought this house specifically) was the need for a better office space. Our office at the last house was slowly caving in under a mass of disorganized files, cables, and Things PR People Send Me That Are More Often Than Not [...]