• EricaRMcR

    My daughter had the same cold sore/fever virus. It was by far the sickest I had ever seen her. It is awful. Good luck!

  • sparkyd

    Oh my. That video broke my heart. I’d be sobbing too listening to that all day and not being able to make it better. I want to sob for both of you right now.

  • abi

    I feel your pain. Last fall my husband had to travel out of the country for two weeks, leaving me alone with our three boys (then aged 6, 4, and 16 months). I made it through the first week; but by Day 6, the youngest had developed an ear infection and was howling like Marlo in your video, and then my mother-in-law who was supposed to be relieving me for a couple days bailed on me, and…I completely lost it. I got the call from my MIL that she “wasn’t going to make it” while the boys were finishing up dinner, and I threw some diapers in a suitcase, sent the older two to go potty, put all three boys in their pajamas, and then loaded them all three in our minivan and DROVE ALL NIGHT to my parents’ house, 600 miles away. So yeah, I get the single-mom desperation. I totally can’t imagine having to deal with it every day.

  • workroom

    maybe this will teach you not to throw her into a lawn caked full of dog feces to play all day while you drink bourbon and eat cheez its and browse http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/ with Tyrant…

  • heinze58

    Whoever said it was because she’s a second child was right. Second children are possessed of the devil. But they do grow up to be the nicest to their moms.

    Just ask my mom. And my daughter.


  • Aunt Baaa

    My oldest is a boy. His younger sister is evil incarnate. She gets into more trouble, finds worse stuff to get into, you name it. She gets up between 2:30 am and 5 am. EVERY DAMN DAY!!!

    I feel your pain.

  • PaigeWAydensMama

    I have one 2 year old boy and one baby boy on the way. Day at a time. Day at a time.

  • Lizzy

    Poor Marlo!
    Poor you!

    That video reminds me of the sheer hell of having a sick baby. And I did it THREE F*CKING times. I’m just drunk a lot now…

    Hang in there, guys. This too shall pass.

  • bloggras

    How about three boys(and a girl), all of whom had the most violent stomach flu i have ever seen this week? Literal shitstorm. Like it was literally raining shit. Sorry if my sympathy levels are hella low right now, but i am about to go on a crime spree,with the man who keeps impregnating me as my first victim. Just be glad we aren’t next door neighbors (yet…it may be in the works again!). See ya soon, hopefully over a new fence.

  • cherechere

    possibly chicken pox? her symptoms sure sound like something I have experienced with a toddler.

  • austinmomof7

    My post today involved taking a machete away from my kids and making them use their toy vehicles to perform manual labor. I’m not the one you need to look to for parenting advice.

  • HalalaMama

    As I read these posts about Marlo I am certain that if my son ever met her, they would fall instantly in love and they would become the next Bonnie and Clyde. I never knew that being the mother of a boy was going to be like this because my friends? All of them? Gave birth to nerds. My son? While we were putting together his birthday tricycle,he had gotten a screw driver and was industriously working at unscrewing the back of his refrigerator letter sounds thingie. Probably to get the batteries out. To eat them. Because he refused to eat his cake. And he’s just now two.

    I need a nap.

  • ewatts

    My mom-of-a-boy moment this week: Death of a laptop by beating. Why couldn’t he have bitten it instead?
    So this is what they call the terrible two’s!

  • meganbeth

    Translation: Bitch, I’m having a really bad fucking day.

  • Mialulu

    That sux. when it rains, it pours. That is for sure. My family can’t catch a break this year. We have had one thing after the other happen. I just had surgery and am 3 weeks post op, then my mom and sister are setting up for my suprise birthday party and my sister’s dog gets mauled by 2 dogs in the next yard because there was a hole in the fence. She is fighting for her life and hopefully makes it. My sister lost a dog to cancer earlier this year and a month after that she and her BF of 3 years broke up. So My mom is about to pull her hiar out with us two. I am sorry to say but the drama, sickness, what have you will. last. till. the. day. you. die. It will just come in waves and hopefully will never be more than you can handle even though right now you think you are barely holding on. It will be in a distant memory. Like hopefully this will be with the dog in ICU right now. I can’t wait till the day my sister isn’t moping around sad and lilly is out of ICU running around the backyard again. Life is hard sometimes.

  • missusclark

    Oh, the poor baby! Walking in circles like a caged animal? And the “hold my lovey while I break your heart….wait! Gimme my lovey!” Poor Bobo. And poor mama.

    Hope everyone’s better soon.

  • Brea

    Heather, where is Jon?! I’ve clearly missed a post or two – and watching that video of Marlo absolutely was my undoing.

    I have been there and done that, and my heart goes out to you. My son had blisters so bad on his feet that he couldn’t bear any weight on them.

    The Internet is plugging for you, Dooce. Much love…

  • coffeefirst-leaded

    OMG! I can’t even imagine. My baby had Roseola and I thought I was going to die! That sounds like euphoria compared to your poor babies illness.. She’ll be fine – TIME.. heals all wounds or just makes us CRAZY!

  • sveedish

    Poor little pumpkin. :(

    And yes, boys are always up to a shenanigan of some sort. Exhausting. And they always smell like feet and farts.

  • luckymom22

    Oh, I feel so badly for your little one. This is about day 5,070 of solo parenting for me, and we “did” coxsackie at about days 1,089-1,094. Awful, nasty stuff; came close to hospitalizing her for dehydration. I recall crying too.

  • Bratfink

    That video made me cry. Sometimes I hate the gramma in me. :(

  • mandypants

    How have we, with boys, been doing it? Well, we have had .75 ER trips every week for the month of July. I managed to meet the hottest paramedic/firefighters while in my haggard, haven’t showered in 2 days, haven’t shaved in who knows how long and I’m wearing shorts cause it’s hot outside and my son just drank gasoline. I have somehow managed 14 days of single parenthood and have 3 more to go until I get my hubs back and I have threatened hospital time using the glamorous words of “exhaustion” that celebrities use. Thankfully I have my blog and facebook or I’d go insane. I can’t even get dressed and become presentable most days to visit friends. That is mostly because I have a 2 year old and a 1 year old. One boy and one girl and they are both trouble. I now dread silence… Night time is especially unnerving when they are both in bed and it’s quiet and I have to continually remind myself it’s ok. They are just sleeping.

  • lolab9442

    Poor Poor Marlo….it’s all I can say….poor poor Marlo :(

  • WebSavyMom

    –>If my son turned to evil, we took him to the park or somewhere he could run around, see other kids and be a heathen til he was too exhausted to do anything else but sleep.

    Love the Shawshank reference too. It was a better short story by S. King.

  • nrward82

    It breaks my heart when they are like this. My son Aiden is not even sick (that I am aware of) and he has been like this off and on for a month. WHAT DO I DO?! So far it looks like I’ve been doing the same thing as you: let him cry. I step in occasionally to offer something new, or something that I’ve already offered, but none of it seems to work. The constant crying is EATING MY BRAIN. Ugh. I keep thinking he’s teething, but shouldn’t a tooth have broken the skin by now? Glad your husband is back to help!!

  • indydls

    Poor Bobo! A sick baby is not fun at all for anybody. Having said that: Buahahahahaha! I have a VERY active 18 month old boy. Welcome to my hell!

  • DealWithIt

    As a mom of twin girls and a boy… it’s totally not a “boy” thing. They are all independant and helpful little shits.

    The girls (together) escaped from a hotel room when they were 11 months old. I stepped into the bathroom to wash TWO bottles and in that short time they somehow got the very heavy hotel room door open. We found them climbing the stairs… a few flights up.

    One of my daughters had fractured her skull by the age of 3 (the night before our baby shower for my son). During the healing process it was suggested that we prevent her from climbing… IMPOSSIBLE.

  • Jess F

    Hmmmm…I am expecting my first in February (a boy). Perhaps I’ve made a terrible mistake :/

  • cobaltblue

    Many people, including me, use L-Lysine (an amino acid) supplements to keep cold sore problems in check. I’ve used it for years and it keeps my cold sores under control very well. You may want to check with a pediatrician to see if it can be used to give Marlo some relief.
    Hope this helps.

  • The Bold Soul

    Lady, you are SO entitled to the biggest damn bourbon EVER right now.

    So I live over here in France, right? And for the longest time I used to think French kids were like Stepford children; whenever I would see little French kids in public, they seemed too polite and well-behaved, too quiet. It just didn’t seem normal and I wondered what the hell the French parents were slipping into their kids’ morning “tartine” (that’s just bread with jam or butter on it).

    Then I married a French man with 3 kids, the youngest of whom was 6 when I met him (now 9). Now he? Is a pretty good kid for the most part, other than he apparently inherited his mother’s tendency toward hysterical meltdowns at the drop of a pin and my biggest frustration was not being proficient enough in French to find out what was really going on with him and calm him down (luckily he seems to be growing out of that and I’ve picked up more French vocab). But… our French friends and neighbors have 2 little boys, and I swear to you, I don’t know how on earth this woman gets up to face each new day. She is very petite, almost waif-like, and very quiet and gentle. She is married but her husband, while nice enough and also very quiet, does as little as possible in the care and raising of his own offspring, so she might just as well be a single mom. And the boys? Beautiful, smart, funny kids who would set fire to the house “just to see what might happen” if you turned your back for 30 seconds. They are just such a high-energy handful, stubborn to boot, and how the hell she ended up with not one but TWO of them, I will never know. She loves her boys, but they are wearing their poor mother out.

    I once heard it said that the things a child does that drive their parents bonkers? They are actually “clues” to the child’s greatest gifts in life. Like me? All I wanted to do was sit indoors and read a good book when my mother wanted me to get outside and play. Now? I’m a writer… and I ADORE what I do. I’m just saying… there IS a “gift” in all this, somewhere. It just may take about 20 or so years to figure out what it is.

    Now… back to that bottle of bourbon…

  • EJoyner105

    If you ever bring your little family back to Memphis for a visit, Marlo has got to meet my 15-month-old Macey. I’d probably be horrified if I could count the number of times I’ve said, “Macey, are you playing in the trash can” or “Please drop the dog poop!” We’re expecting a little boy in February, and I feel like we are so prepared for the chaos that comes with that territory!

  • dianemaggipintovoiceover

    :( poor little bean

  • victoriasauce

    I couldn’t help but find it adorable when she stops the pacing and is like, “Here, take this. I’m trying to cry and aimlessly walk around here.”

  • JSweet

    Wow, I have an equally cranky toddler who’s suffering from roseola and I am having the same experience: the sheer overload of crying and whining is making me numb. At least we still have our senses of humor. That’s what got people through gulags and crap right?


  • strawick

    i read this and thought of your Bobo – or at least your accounts of her:


  • Openshrew

    Hi Heather… long-time fan, first-time commenter!

    First, I want to say that I’ve watched this pathetic, heart-breaking video of Marlo at LEAST 10 times. How morbid is that? I think I keep hoping that if I watch it again, that maybe this time it will magically change and, instead of aimlessly wandering in all her miserable hysteria, Marlo just stops, looks up at the camera, smiles and says: “All better, Mama.”

    Ah, the fantasies of deranged, sleep-deprived parents.

    But here’s the real reason I’m commenting: I have the cure for these cold sores!! I used to get canker sores in my throat, and OMG the pain, the agony… seriously, I would feel like doing exactly what Marlo is doing, for days and days on end. It was beyond horrible… finally I went to the Dr. in a mess of tears and he prescribed MARY’s MAGIC MOUTHWASH.

    I know. Totally stupid name, but TOTALLY LEGITIMATE CURE. Basically it’s equal parts viscous lidocaine (which you’ll need a prescription for from your pediatrician), Benadryl and Mylanta. It numbs, it soothes, it heals… it’s definitely magic.

    Because she’s so little, you’ll probably need to chat with the doc to see if she can have it… but if she can, you’ll both be extremely relieved and you will NEVER be without it again. Good luck!!

  • I Had Ice

    I was going to try to one-up you but I changed my mind. Poor kid (I mean you.)
    Might I suggest a kick-ass multi-vitamin for Bobo and some Carnation Instant Breakfast? That shit keeps my little one going when he’s sick or teething. Sugary? Yes. Vitaminy? Absolutely.

  • gavintiegirl

    Every kid is truly different. I have a boy and when he was little he never tried to get into trouble. He never went looking for it and therefore he never found it. We didn’t have to child proof anything. We only have one, but I am sure if we had another, he/she would have been the exact opposite…which is one of the many reasons we never had another. ;) We are on to them…those little critters.

    Poor poor Marlo! It’s so hard when they are sick and can’t really communicate or help themselves.

    I am glad you made it out alive! ;)