• erinj1976

    Pristiq…cannot say enough good things about this one for me.

  • AussieMel

    Oh Heather, good luck with it all. Hope it works out for you xxx

  • Angel Girl

    I believe sanity trumps sex any day.

  • tracy b ohio

    I am struggling with the same thing. I go to see the doctor tomorrow. Hopefully a change in meds will work for me. Right now I would be happy with a low sex drive but I am struggling with NO sex drive. Plus my meds don’t seem to be working that well anymore and I have been slipping for a month or so. I have been taking 60 mg of Celexa and 80 mg of Geodon. I just want to be able to function and have some sex drive. Is that too much to ask for? Thankfully my husband is a very patient man. Of course he is on celexa and seems to have no side effects. I keep telling him that he is one lucky duck. My mom has been struggling to find the right dosage and combination of drugs for years and I am hoping that I find one that works for me soon.
    Depression sucks big time.

  • saraminerva444

    Thank you for your honesty. And good luck.

  • janenyy26

    Thank you for being willing to put into words what so many of us can never explain to our partners. It’s so difficult to see my partner frustrated and feel like he’s doing something wrong when really it’s just the medication, and I’ve never been able to really explain why I stay on it and why it mutes my “passionate side”. I’m going to use this post as sort of a tutoring mechanism for him, I guess.

    Thank you, Heather.

  • sroman914


    Have you tried it? I absolutely love it. Minimal to no side effects. The only two side effects I’ve seen are weight loss and INCREASED libido :-) Try it!

  • patrice108

    I’m not big on commenting on this website. but I figure maybe this could be helpful for someone. I read through a bunch of these comments and I’m seeing alot of the same meds being discussed. I was on zoloft, welbutrin, lexapro, and a host of other meds and nothing has worked as well on ALL aspects of my issues than lamictal. it’s an anti seizure drug that happens to work on depression and mood swings. my libido has not been compromised, nor has my weight. the only side effects I have had are that it made me tired until I was used to it, and it seems to make me pee alot.

  • bditty

    I’d like to say I’d comment more if I didn’t have to login. I’m not sure why it’s so hard to remember simple things like passwords, but it just is.

    Also, I think you are doing yourself a disservice to compare mom with kids sex drive to pregnancy/hormone driven sex drive. Meds or not, those are very different circumstances. You should probably give yourself a break. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure the meds have an affect, but it can be like a self fulfilling prophecy if you tell yourself that…but I’m not on those kinds of meds, so you can imagine smacking the back of my head if you’d like.

    Personally, I’ve entered some sort of thirty something female overdrive…and can relate to those 14 year old boys a lot better. Maybe this will kick in for you, too. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be, though…well, not all the time.

  • dk

    Can’t comment on Cymbalta, but after a couple of years on Celexa, watching my sex drive slowly decline until I was actually turned off by the thought of sex, my shrink tapered me off the Celexa and started me on Wellbutrin. (Actually, I never fully came off the Celexa; my maintenance therapy is 10 mg. of Celexa in the evening and 300 mg of Wellbutrin in the morning.) The upshot? Not only did my sex drive flip back into gear, it revved into overdrive for several fantastic months. Now it’s back down to normal for me, with the continued added benefit of extreme ease of or_gasm. Frankly, my dear, it is awesome. Highly recommend. Although if anxiety is your issue, wellbutrin may not be your drug. (I get very anxious when I am actively depressed, but when my depression is well-controlled I have no trouble with anxiety. IOW, I’m not sure I could have tolerated Wellbutrin for the initial treatment of my most recent depressive episode.)

  • lolabean

    I recently had the seam conversation with my Dr. I am also on Prozac and it seems pretty effective but with the same sex drive issue and a lack of sensation issue. My Dr. recommended adding Wellbutrin at night which is supposed to help. We will see. Please keep up the info about Cymbalta.

  • CrisLawson

    I wish more people who take antidepressants would talk to their docs sooner about this! The whole aim of an antidepressant is to bring you back up to a certain level of happiness. How can anyone be happy if they don’t have a decent sex drive?

    I know it can be embarrassing. But please, anyone who has a libido supressing med, talk to the doc about it! You can change meds, and hopefully find the one that gets you closest to ‘normal’. Although honestly normal is just a setting on a washing machine…but you know what I mean. The ideal med will alleviate the depression/anxiety/what-have-you, while still allowing you to have a sex life.

    There’s my PSA for the day. LOL

  • TexasKatie

    Okay, just want to give my assvice here. I don’t think it is a good idea to taper off a med as quickly as you did and then go to another. That is how I had my nervous breakdown three years ago. I tapered off of Paxil WAY too fast, and was put on Lexapro (which was a dumb move anyway because that is for depression and I have anxiety and OCD). That didn’t work and so they put me on Prozac. Let’s just say that I ended up having a seizure and something known as “serotonin syndrome” because they were haphazardly switching my meds back and forth and not doing the taper slowly enough. After some major issues, I ended up on Zoloft and that works great. Let me tell you – Zoloft is way better for the sex drive than Paxil EVER was. I hump like a rabbit now! :)

  • Plano Mom

    I had to stop Cymbalta. Not because of any lowered sex DRIVE, in fact that went up like that 14 year old. But the problem was no matter how much fun or how great it felt, actually achieving orgasm was close to impossible – just couldn’t get to that magic point.

    So, all the drive in the world isn’t any fun without a finish line.

    Haven’t found a good alternative, however my depression is fairly mild so I’m able to cope. Wish science could come up with something better.

  • marymcginty

    I also switched to Cymbalta after Zoloft stopped working…some animal instincts will return. also going on Cymbalta has helped my chronic nerve pain that allowed me to stop taking Lyrica (evil evil drug)
    An added bonus is you will drop the 10 lbs Zoloft added. Good Luck

    Also, I did taper off Zoloft while adding Cymbalta

  • bwsf

    The birth control pill has stifled my libido (I can only imagine antidepressants are worse?) so I’m with ya. But until I’m done having babies, that’s actually my preferred method of birth control. My husband is always complaining that I never instigate sex, and I’m like, “that’s because I never want to have sex”, which doesn’t help. Just a few more years…

  • GreerPowers

    I love your honesty, Heather! It’s so wonderful to find a blog with such authenticity. (I love your sense of humor, too!) Thank you for sharing your life with us. . .

  • booner32

    Wellbutrin made Tiffany’s sex drive spike, but it also made her crazy, so she had to get off that stuff. Tiffany’s been on cymbalta for over 5 years. Good med, but low sex drive. She could give you details on how to overcome the med effects, which I’m not going to get into.

  • Talon

    Your doctor is a liarhead.

    I was on Cymbalta for like 4 years. And while it CLAIMS to have less sexual side effects than other antidepressants, it still takes getting used to. Also it works quickly and has weird side effects. All that said, it is a GREAT antidepressant.


    If you want an antidepressant that will allow you to feel primal and sexy and what not…Wellbutrin is the way to go.

    They had me on both for awhile, and then I was like…um…if I’m on Wellbutrin to counteract the sexual side effects of the cymbalta…why am I on the cymbalta when I could just as easily transition to just Wellbutrin?

    Turns out, it’s an AWESOME anti-depressant, anti-anxiety drug. AND you get orgasms with it!!.

    So, to sum up…Cymbalta=awesome drug, fewer sexual side effects, but it has them. I used to skip two days if I wanted a real orgasm.

    Wellbutrin=awesome drug PLUS awesome orgasms. Period.

  • sweetpotatopie

    GREAT post, Heather. You’ve obviously struck a nerve; there are so many of us suffering with this “choice”.

    ((running off to research Mirtazapine and Wellbutrin…))

  • ShaBByVTcHiC

    My husband was taking Cymbalta (to combat back pain) and had a bitch of a time getting off it. The withdrawl was awful! Some people have actually needed to take other meds to help with the withdrawl. Of course, if it solves your problem- you’ll have no reason to stop taking it! Good luck!!

  • Tanzie F. Nielsen

    I take (generic) Celexa…aka Citalopram…and I have a sex drive and I haven’t beaten my kids. I think it’s working.

  • Rita Arens

    I have been on Zoloft for years, but I haven’t had that problem. I wonder if it’s related to dosage.

    Now that I’ve admitted that, I feel a little silly.

  • ReginaO

    I actually haven’t had that problem. I’ve been on Effexor XR for 7 years and it’s never affected my sex drive. I’m not sure if that typical or not but I haven’t experienced many side effects with this particular drug.

  • elsiemae

    Thank you so much for addressing this issue. I have the same problem due to my medication and I feel like a freak when my girlfriends are talking about all the wild, earth-shattering sex they are having while all I can do is wish I even WANTED a guy to touch me!

  • katstermonster

    I…had no idea. It just never occurred to me, as I’ve never been on an antidepressant. As usual, Heather, thank you for your overshares. I can tell from the scores of comments that you’re making people feel less alone in their struggles.

    I unfortunately have the sex drive of a 14-year-old boy…all the time. As you point out, this actually can be an issue. The only fights I’ve had with my boyfriend in the last year and a half have been because I wanted to have sex RIGHT NOW, DAMMIT and I AM NOT GOING TO TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER and WHY AREN’T YOU ATTRACTED TO ME? I DON’T CARE THAT YOU WERE ASLEEP, WE NEED TO HAVE SEX. So yeah. There are some issues I need to work on. Maybe I can share my sex drive? There’s more than enough to go around.


    Diminished sex drive also = very young kids, even without the prescription.

  • lizgwiz

    I’ve never been on antidepressants. But, in my experience, sometimes LIFE causes loss of sex drive. There have been significant chunks of my life where I didn’t have the slightest interest in sex–no time, no energy, no one who really piqued my interest.

    I guess what I’m saying is, you may not be missing quite as much as you think you’re missing, if that’s any consolation. (I know, it probably isn’t.)

    Of course, the myth floating around that women hit a sexual peak as they approach 40 DOES seem to be true, so maybe THAT will break through the antidepressant effects.

  • Mari Chiesa

    Wowzers. What a brave post. Youse gots sum guts.
    Personally, I’ve tried them all. They are all pretty much giddy up and git it on busters. I take welbutrin now and I see a little improvement but not enough to break down Frederick’s of Hollywood’s doors.

    I’m guessing because Welbutrin works primarily with dopamine rather than seratonin that is what makes the slight difference.

    At any rate I’ll take not wanting to stick my head in the oven over being in heat all the time any day of the week.

  • Crazy Card Lady

    Wow you are on drugs….no mention or apology to your Dad for this post. Wait a minute, is he on anti-depressants now too!