The audible eye roll
Yesterday Leta had a play date, and while she and her friend were snacking in the kitchen I was in an adjacent room sorting through some mail. I heard them start to tell each other knock knock jokes, the ones that have been passed down for generations, like the one about the banana, and then orange you glad I didn't say banana?! Except since they're both six, and since Leta is Leta, the delivery was a bit bumpy.
Friend: "Knock knock."
Leta: "Who's there?"
Friend: "Banana."
Leta: "Yuck, stop, I hate bananas."
Someone needs to come up with a knock knock joke about chicken nuggets, apparently.
Three or four jokes in I couldn't help myself, so I charged in and said, "I've got one! I've got one!" And since they were both in need of new material they eagerly welcomed me into their exchange. Well, the friend was eager. Leta eyed me suspiciously. I mean, seriously? Mom has a joke? Mom couldn't tell a good bedtime story if her life depended on it, so this should be interesting IF NOT WHOLLY MORTIFYING.
So I said, "Knock knock."
And they both asked, "Who's there?"
And I go, "MY BUTT!!"
And then I slapped my knee and giggled to indicate that there was no more to the joke. That joke always ends there. A little history if you need a refresher.
And you guys, her friend started laughing so hard she almost fell out of her chair! HA! HA HA! That's when I did a little circular dance and finally ended up down on one knee, my arms straight in the air to indicate VICTORY!
My butt, it has won.
Her friend was still laughing hysterically when Leta tried to explain dryly, "That is her answer to everything. And it still isn't funny."
Maybe so! But now I have an inside ally!
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FM Living
Mom101 said:
As Nate said on our very first date, farts are funny. And so are butts.
In fact, I think our entire relationship is predicated on those facts.
Leta's friend's mom may not agree of course. But that's partly what makes it funny.
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10.25.10 - 07:57 AM / 1doublebuttons said:
You would be a hit at my home. Do you do parties?
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10.25.10 - 08:00 AM / 2Truthful Mommy said:
LOL! Yes, mine is 5 and I have heard the eye roll and seen the blank "You're an asshole ,Mom" stare followed by the "Yeah...I don't think so Mommy". We're in deep shit when they are teens.Of course, mine still can't keep a straight face when I bring my butt into it. Victory is your Mama!I do love Leta's response, I think you have an old soul there.Happy Mothering ,my friend. Enjoy these moments of dry disapproval because in about 7 years, we'll be getting the very vocal side of things:)
P.S. Since when have you met the requirements for "well rested self-entitled ho bag"? LOL! You have 2 little ones, there is no way I'm buying the well rested part:)LOL
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10.25.10 - 08:02 AM / 3The Prima Momma said:
Nothin' like a good MY BUTT joke to slay the six year old set. (Or 32 year old set, in my case.)
Well done, madam. Well done indeed!
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10.25.10 - 08:02 AM / 4Bratfink said:
Hahahahaha.... you said BUTT!
[And that lady up there said FARTS!]
I find farts hysterical. MY SO however, does not. This tells me he's more girl than *I* am.
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10.25.10 - 08:03 AM / 5mrswilson said:
That is so awesome. Why have kids if you can't embarrass them??
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10.25.10 - 08:04 AM / 6abi said:
Somehow *I'm* the immature one in my marriage - viz., this exchange with my kids that prompted an audible eye roll from my husband:
Me: "Hey, what do you see under there?"
4-year-old son: "Under where?"
Me: "HA HA HA YOU SAID UNDERWEAR!!!1!"
My 7- and 4-year-old boys, of course, found it hysterical, and my 2-year-old now punctuates conversations by shouting, "UNDERWEAR!" And I crack up every time. So what's wrong with my husband?
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10.25.10 - 08:17 AM / 7Caitlinjane said:
Try this one:
A: Knock Knock!
B: Who's there?
A: Smellmop!
B: Smellmop who?
A: Smell your POO! I don't want to smell your poo!
Fall down in gales of uncontrollable laughter. Repeat ad nauseum.
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10.25.10 - 08:51 AM / 8Dharma said:
Everytime my 8 y/o son runs in and says "Guess what?"....
I scream "Chicken Butt!" It never gets old.
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10.25.10 - 08:54 AM / 9apostate said:
I was raised with four younger brothers and I can testify to you that that joke is, in fact, hilarious. Without a shadow of a doubt.
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10.25.10 - 09:44 AM / 10PrettyGirlMyers said:
My son is 10, and for some reason he finds the word "boobs" to be hilarious. So we'll be out shopping or at the dinner table, and one of us will randomly say "Hey Alex....Boobs!" and he'll die laughing. It's immature, I know, but I can't help it.
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10.25.10 - 09:46 AM / 11kwm said:
awesome! laughed outloud!
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10.25.10 - 09:50 AM / 12Fifi Coon said:
My daugher is 30 - and I still get the audible eye roll. My son, on the other hand, finds me hysterically funny!!
Farts are pretty funny at our house - except my daughter doesn't fart - so of course she is the only one that doesn't find them funny!
Good Luck with Leta - it doesn't ever change!
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10.25.10 - 09:50 AM / 13Laura Jones said:
My Grandmother's joke was, "Want to hear a couple of dillys?" "Yeah sure Grandma." "Dilly dilly."
She told it so often it got moldy. Then one day while at work on a warm day when everyone was sleepy someone said, "anyone know a joke?" "Sure I know a couple of dillys." "Go ahead." Dilly, dilly. Do you know they fell in the floor laughing so hard other people came down the hall to find out what was so funny. Suddenly I knew why Grandmother told that one so often. One day Leta will be in the perfect situation to tell a fart joke, and she will know every single one of them and be a hero.
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10.25.10 - 10:02 AM / 14mtevis said:
"My butt, it has won" sounds like a good masthead tagline.
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10.25.10 - 10:18 AM / 15marnilla said:
My daughter had the format of knock jokes down way before she got the joke part.(I'd say knock knock, she'd say "Maya" (her name) I'd say "Maya who?" and she say triumphantly "Maya Sonja Smith!" (her full name)
I am pleased to tell you that I taught her the joke part with a KK I made up, just for her:
Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Maya.
Maya who?
Maya good mama or what?about
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10.25.10 - 10:46 AM / 16kschwitter said:
I love this!
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10.25.10 - 10:57 AM / 17Jennifer June said:
re: butts are funny and For future non-knock-knock kid-friendly joke emergencies:
What's invisible and smells like carrots?
Bunny Farts.
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10.25.10 - 12:25 PM / 19liandriel said:
HA. My son won't let me sing the "Found a Peanut" song, because he doesn't like peanuts. (As if that stops me!)
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10.25.10 - 01:23 PM / 20InsanityQueen said:
Here is a Chicken Nugget Knock Knock joke for you...
"Knock, Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Chicken"
"Chicken who?"
"Just Chicken, Nugget up and answer the door."
Lame...but the best I could think of.
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10.25.10 - 01:25 PM / 21waterbutterfly said:
Similarly, my answer to many things (with the exception of professional context) tends to be "up your butt." Even if it doesn't make sense.
Someone: Where did I put my keys?
Me: Up your butt!
Someone: What time is it?
Me: Up your butt!
Good times. :o)
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10.25.10 - 01:28 PM / 22etoile said:
I like to teach my kids all the rude songs I learned as a kid, does that make me a bad mum?
Comet it makes your mouth turn green...
Lol
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10.25.10 - 01:29 PM / 23InsanityQueen said:
Additionally...I do the same type of thing as Dharma with my 4 yr. old grandson. It goes a little something like this:
Me: Guess what?
Kane: What?
Me: Chicken butt!
Me: Guess who?
Kane: What?
Me: Dog poo!
Me: Guess why?
Kane: What?
Me: Turkey potpie!
Me: Guess where?
Kane: What?
Me: Fuzzy bear!
Me: Guess how?
Kane: What?
Me: Brown cow!
As you can see he never fails to answer "What?" and he laughs like he has never heard it before.
Occasionally I like to throw him off and make up new rhymes for the What, Who, Why, Where and How.
Kids are the great but grandkids always think you are funny!
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10.25.10 - 01:52 PM / 24tallnoe said:
I love "Chicken Butt" in response to "Guess What?!?"
I still do it. So... yeah.
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10.25.10 - 01:53 PM / 25sksanders said:
this isn't a knock knock joke, but it's in the same family:
Me: Oh no! Someone put up-dog all over my desk!
You: What's up-dog?
Me: Nothing man, what's up with you?
hey-oooh
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10.25.10 - 03:01 PM / 26Blahggy said:
Now I'm wondering who's mom LETA is finding funny. Cuz you know her friend doesn't find her mom nearly as funny as you.
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10.25.10 - 03:24 PM / 27Jen said:
Similar to waterbutterfly, when someone says something like "Does anyone know where my keys are?" I'll respond "If they were up your ass you'd know."
I also say "chicken butt" entirely too much. This backfired one day when one of the attorneys I work with walked in my office and said "Guess what?" and as he proceeded to tell me what he came in there for, I screamed "Chicken butt!" before I realized what I was doing. Luckily he found it funny, but I was a little embarrassed.
Butts and their functions - the jokes never get old.
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10.25.10 - 05:13 PM / 28Dani said:
My two year old tells knock knock jokes just like that.
Knock knock
who's there?
Daddy ha ha ha ha
My personal favorite so far has been
Daughter: Knock knock Daddy
Husband: Who's there?
Daughter: Mama's panties!
I was so pleased to be included.
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10.25.10 - 05:23 PM / 29tksinclair said:
You've finally cracked the code. Take it from me the parent of a 30 year old, a 35 year old, a 13 and 16 year old....they will not like you until their friends start telling them how cool you are. And even then they won't readily admit it BUT you'll start to see little cracks.
For instance my 16 year olds friends are on my Facebook. They think I'm SO FUNNY and SO KEWL...eventually, since the entire cheer squad thinks I'm the cool parent she has to relent.
What's funny is I started out thinking I had to win the other parents over, NOT. Forget the bake sales and the teacher assisting. That all got me NO WHERE. In fact the other parents will start to hate and resent you.
Yes, you've cracked the code and before you girls hit puberty. That's got to be a record.
Congratulations!
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10.25.10 - 05:29 PM / 30HungryGrad said:
Ok, that's awesome.
But you know what would've been even more awesome?
If you had timed the knock knock joke to coincide with you farting!!!
...maybe on second thought save that one for Marlo.
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10.25.10 - 06:47 PM / 31