• Fifi Coon

    OK – that is just flat out funny shit!! And – I am so glad my children are grown up!!!

  • flickster94087

    That is pure genius! I am going to do this with my children!

  • Margaret W

    I’m with Marlo on this…she has a rep to protect and can’t let people see that she’s conforming to the parentals.

    My daughter started learned sign language at the daycare at about 9 mos old. Only one problem…the daycare didn’t tell the parents. The frustration was a double whammy for Kennedi as I didn’t understand what she wanted. She survived. I did, too. Barely.

  • Mo

    If they see her giving in to you, they will all want her to do it. (You know… THEM.) And she cannot let them know of her weakness, lest they exploit it and endanger her mission. Her mission of horribleness.

  • saraminerva444

    Hahahahaha Marlo is a genius.

    My son is about a month older than Marlo. He signs a few words, but sometimes he can’t be bothered and proceeds to grunt with increasing urgency. His 4 y/o sister understands his jibberish, so she responds to his demands quickly. I catch her sometimes repeating the word and the sign out loud over and over trying to teach him. He looks at her like DUDE, really?! I already know you speak my language, give me what I want.

  • Erin47

    I think I just learned that I laugh with my eyes closed. I wanted to finish reading after “She didn’t want anyone to see that she was going to cooperate”, but couldn’t pry my eyes back open until the laughing stopped, which took way too long. I so wish I could meet these kids of yours.

  • greenplanner

    I had to rehome my crazy Aussie Shepherd dog, and the only suitable family I could find were baby sign language teachers. I figured if they had enough patience for teaching babies sign language (…for a living. That’s what they do full time, y’all.) surely they had enough patience for Mr. Chumley. And damned if they didn’t teach that dog some signs, too.

  • mandypants

    AHAHAHAHAHA! That just made my day! I’m so glad that I don’t have the only evil spawn out there. I’m still trying the chocolate thing with my 2 year old, who loves chocolate more than anything else in the entire world ever, and he still won’t use the potty. :/ Two year old poo is the worst after great dane poo.

  • Suede

    Just wait. Teenagers are 1000 times harder.

  • wordsupmixed

    1) marlo reminds me of stewie from family Guy
    2) clicker training. This has two advantages. First, it will extinguish bad behavior and make Marlo a nicer child although they will do nothing about the chipped tooth and various contagions. The second advantage of clicker training is that it should provide you with more things to write about although, somehow I don’t think that’s problem.

    A good reference book is “don’t shoot the dog” by Karen Pryor. While it’s mostly about canines, just, in your mind, substitute “marlo” every time the author writes “dog”

  • luv and kiwi

    you know if anyone else had written this i wouldn’t believe them, but because it’s you and i’ve seen marlo’s videos i totally believe that ish.

    lol i can’t wait until marlo starts a blog!

  • bopperbop

    When my now 17 year old was little, she would want some m&ms. We were also teaching her to say “Please” so if she said “Please”, she would get an m&m. But I think to her after a while “pees” (as she would say) was the word for m&m!

  • Tricia

    That is HILARIOUS!!! My FIL has an annoying habit of calling all children under the age of five a “blank slate.” How he can think that, having raised two children of his own, is beyond me. This story exemplifies how wrong he is — kids have SO much personality, almost from birth. Hysterical. Makes up for all the shit they throw at you, right?

  • kayakgrrl

    Bwahahaha! My daughter did that this week!

  • SweetAdeline

    Have you been watching a lot of Tyra, because only Miss J could have taught that baby to give such good side eye.

  • Mogsie

    BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    Oh, the memories that this brings back … ’tis insanely funny shit like that what keeps a body goin’ sometimes!

    (hugs)

    ~:-)

  • tallnoe

    Dude – I think that wordsupmixed is completely CORRECT!!

  • emilylentini

    Brilliant!
    I cannot wait ’til mine is here and old enough to make fun of!

  • writtendad

    Hooray for Marlo! What will be even better is when you try for a repeat by reminding her she did it before and then seeing her give you that “what the hell are you talking about?” look.

    As she snickers inside her little head

  • vent
  • Pollux72

    Oh man, we are right there with you. Our son is 16 months on the dot, and he can be a total PITA, mostly because he doesn’t have words for what he wants, but he *knows* what he wants!!! Too bad he’s the only one! He groans and screams and moans and torques his body in a million different directions, like some kind of crazy interpretive dance. Maybe he’s got a future with Alvin Ailey?

    I haven’t even thought of sign language because he is just as bossy and stubborn as Marlo sounds. It would probably kill him to actually use a sign to communicate!

  • PeggyMomma

    Absolutely love it, Heather. There’s no need for a video camera when you explain them yung’uns of yours! :)

  • Anu

    Totally loving it. Can you please get a video if possible…even a photo will do. Very funny :)

  • Eh What Huh

    Hilarious. Kids are so funny sometimes. Thanks for making me laugh! :)

    (e

    From Eh? What? Huh? http://www.ehwhathuh.com

  • floridagal73

    You gotta love winning a battle – it’s so seldom that it is certainly worth celebrating. Congrats!

  • annegirl80

    I refused to teach my 19 month old son sign language because I found the repetitive use of the sign for “more” annoying. I would rather just pretend I don’t know he wants more of and try to give him more peas instead.

  • zwie

    Hahaha…very funny!
    My 3 y/o took longer to speak and so up to now there are some things that i just agree to but have no idea what he’s saying! He also mixes 2 languages and that makes things even more interesting!

  • TheFunFamilyMom

    Great article. I have just started reading your site recently and can totally relate. This article describes my 17 month old son perfectly. He’s stubborn as anything and won’t give in unless no one is looking. We’ve got our hands full!

  • chempel

    3 words: Baby Signing Time