• marymcginty

    thats good stuff….hilarious. I can’t log because I don’t know my password, so I have to log in for 1 day…help?


  • bambooska

    Tell Tyler he didn’t trick just you.

    I have coffee sliding down my laptop screen at this very moment.


  • bambooska


  • york granny

    too funny !!!!!!
    I ‘ll bet you wanted to kick his butt .
    payback !!!!!!!!

  • jessica kesti

    when my husband was a wee one, his parents had a hobby farm. well, his pet rabbit ended up in some stew one night. poor kid, as the bowl of stew was set in front of him his eyes glazed over and in a sad, monotone voice said, “there goes floppy. hop. hop. hop.”


  • JMBauhaus

    …that is ALL KINDS of effed up and evil.

  • Mays45

    I need to know more about this Tyrant guy.

  • Twinkie

    I think the contents of my stomach just hardened – you know, like right before you throw up?


    What I do know is that this evil will not stand, and Tyrant has it coming to him good.

  • naffy

    What a cruel and unusual (and diabolically hilarious) trick! And, what a beautifully made resting place for your little friend.

  • Camels and Chocolate

    This is quite possibly one of your best stories–which is saying volumes. Also, is Tyrant single?? ;-)

  • Agent Scully

    Skipping past the hilarity, I came here to say just one thing:

    Tyrant is *the* perfect man. Seriously. Tall, handsome and a vegetarian?! Perfection.


  • Brookelyn Bridge

    My mom did, in fact, eat her pet duck. That’s what happens when you grow up on a farm.

  • musickatt

    Oh, he is EVIL, I say, EVIL!! And you must extract revenge some way, somehow.

  • Twirls



  • Amanda Brumfield

    You are so sweet.

  • Erin47

    I almost stopped reading at “In November 2009 my betta fish Lou died.” and left the room to vomit. But I stuck it out. Thankfully it’s a happy ending. WOW, TYRANT, NOT COOL.

  • msnorway

    Beautiful coffin. Horrible prank.

  • kaseekrueger

    I sit here anticipating the revenge story.

  • luv and kiwi

    wow…almost threw up in my mouth a little bit just then.

    why are veggie heads so cruel? don’t we too count as animals? if you make us eat our fish don’t we too bleed?

  • herpecin

    Is it just me, or are the rest of you readers getting the impression that Heather wants to bang Tyrant? Anyone?

  • AlyCat

    I heart Tyrant.

    You should have a side business of making pet coffins. That is a seriously beautiful box. Seriously.

  • martywombacher

    I think the name Lou is the perfect name for a fish. And I think Tyrant should be forced to eat Lou for the cruel trick he played on you. It would make for a good video!

  • angelamw


    I got a goldfish in the 3rd grade for Easter and it ended up living until my senior year of high school. My mom couldn’t bear to flush him so waited until a nice day to bury him… I’m now 23 and Fish is still frozen. Every year when my brothers and I come home for Christmas one of us always forgets and opens the tin in the freezer expecting to find my mom’s cookies.

    Just wanted you to know that you are not alone and that for Leta and Marlo’s sake I thank you for labeling the box.

  • subjectivitis

    Dude! What a fuck face! He should really wait ’til after XMas bonus time to fuck around like that.

  • napangel

    What a perfectly lovely coffin. You are a good pet owner.

  • thatton

    People in my office think I am crazy – I am laughing so hard at this! Funny stuff, nice work Tyrant.

  • katewestrich

    When my uncle was younger he had a pet rabbit. It pooped all over the house and ticked my grandma off. So she killed it, skinned it and served it. She just told everyone it was chicken. I am pretty certain she told me that and not my uncle so he still doesn’t know he ate his pet!

  • Taratory

    If cartoons have taught me anything, it is that dead fish MUST be flushed down the toilet lest their souls haunt you forever (they like to be in water).

    See Dexter’s Laboratory “Fillet of Soul”

  • swindled

    I highly recommend youtubing the video for Carrot Juice is Murder and passing that along to Tyrant.

    Not cruel like the fish …”gag?”…but at least funny

  • Daddy Scratches

    I don’t even like anchovies. Dead former pet beta fish? BAAAARRRRRFFFF.

    I’d have thrown something at Tyrant’s head. Something heavy.

    Glad you didn’t really eat your former friend.

  • signot

    Did you ever write about his death? I can’t remember reading about it, and I was actually just wondering about him the other day. And now I’m traumatized. Poor Lou! He’s looking down from the Great Fishy Beyond and laughing hysterically.

  • RioLee

    WOW! Tyrant is really living up and possibly exceeding his title? I am thinking he may need a new one, maybe something along the lines of Tyrant Vlad Tepes?
    He did seem to get a huge joy out of pretending to almost impale you with that staple gun…hmmm.

  • jaimeclewis

    Mmmmmm, fresh beta on a bed of greens.

  • reymiland

    Bang Tyrant? Is there something she doesn’t know about?

  • Dani

    If you’ve got a good enough sense of humor to put up with that and calmly plot revenge I admire you.

    I on the other hand would fire him. Sorry dude you do not make a joke out of a dead pet. But then I still cry about pets I lost 20 plus years ago.

  • Ames422

    Am I the only one who doesn’t like Tyrant? I say this based on the fab video of Heather and friends playing Kinect. If you look closely in the background, Coco sniffs his hand ( just saying hello, please pet me) and he pulls his hand back like she pooped on it. I don’t trust people who don’t like dogs.

  • reggittino

    It’s such a nice working environment you guys have! I do have to agree though that Tyrant is slightly evil!

  • MelissaJ

    so wrong…i’d kick his ass…after i laughed mine off…freakin’ CLASSIC!

  • msmoose

    And the countdown to the post on Heather’s revenge begins…

    Oh hey, Tyrant, give me a call, please. I have a husband who has been all kinds of evil this week, and I suck at coming up with diabolical revenge plots. It’s a side job!

  • LDC Soundsystem

    My mom put our dead cat in the deep freeze. True story.

  • arishell

    Tyrant is so asking for something evil to happen to him! I was laughing hysterically. I cannot wait to hear about the retribution!

  • RealFitMama

    I must say that I have not laughed my ass off this much in FOREVER!!! I read your blog all the time, but have never commented until now.

    As a vegetarian who is sometimes self-righteous and sometimes not I totally got pleasure from this story and it’s outcome.

    Not that I would EVER laugh at the misfortune of another human being…EVER!!!

  • picklepie

    you just don’t find that kind of evil everyday. sounds like he is a keeper

  • LuckyMama

    So now for Tyrant’s bonus he shall receive a note stating that you have gave it to “Save The Beta Fish” campaign in his honor…..bitches! Love it Heather!

  • tallnoe

    AWESOME! I think that Tyrant is perfect as well. DAMN that no girls policy!!
    Oh, and I’m with @Brookelyn Bridge: I had to eat Donald and Wilbur. It was way not nice.

  • missusclark

    I can’t believe you fell for that, Heather. I think this incident speaks more to your nature than Tyrant’s. I mean, c’mon! We knew he was evil….

  • stresso

    oh Heather, you’ve made me LAUGH OUT LOUD! I keep my dead kitty’s ashes in my PJ drawer. I understand.

  • Mo

    WOW. I think I would like him.

    I say you pull the same sort of thing on him…but ACTUALLY feed him something gross. And you act all…”haha-funny joke right? NOT! SUCK IT! I AM THE QUEEN OF EVILNESS, NOT YOU!!!”

  • hackmanrj

    Not sure if you watch South Park, but this totally reminded me of the “I made you eat your parents” episode, which also made me laugh. Not sure what that says about me.

  • tokenblogger

    Best kind of story to come home after spending all afternoon at the doctor’s office!