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Wooderson

We were trying to put our finger on it, and then Jon had a total epiphany: Marlo’s hair makes her look just like Matthew McConaughey’s character in Dazed and Confused. The resemblance is spooky.

In the scheme of things

Jon: “Leta, it’s an orange, not a poisonous snake. Just open your mouth and taste it.” Leta: “BUT I HATE ORANGES!” Jon: “Have you ever tried one?” Leta: “No, BUT I KNOW I HATE THEM.” Jon: “It won’t hurt you to at least try a small bite.” Leta: “UUUGGGHHHH!” Me: “Okay, this is ridiculous. Leta, [...]

That Armstrong Dog

Jon found a place to store some of his cords. This way if Chuck ever goes missing again and his microchip doesn’t work, they’ll know where he came from.

Eighteen months

And what’s left of her black eye, the last wound on her face to heal. For Christmas we’re giving her a bubble. To live in.

From Rambo to Rocky

It started when, one night after an exhausting day of having other people satisfy her every need, Marlo was told no, she could not play with my phone. And since she’s such a reasonable human being, she fell to the ground and began hitting the floor with her face. I was just about to tell [...]

A year ago

Before the crawling, the walking, the smacking other people when she doesn’t get her way, the screaming like Bobcat Goldthwait underneath the heaviness of existing. Those cheeks were such a lie!

After cleaning out the playroom

It’s Po and Dipsy! You guys, I think Coco is getting the hang of this. Look at how well she hangs her head in shame!

Seriously, can’t a man just watch some television in peace?

And now for the rest of the week my answer to every question Leta asks will be, “AHHHHHHHH!!“

Marlo’s security blanket

The fabulous mind behind the You’ll Lovem Etsy shop sent this personalized security blanket to Marlo before she was even born. I didn’t know if Marlo was going to be like Leta, the type of kid who doesn’t really like dolls or blankets or stuffed animals and instead hoards a library of books around her [...]

Simplicity

Our undecorated Christmas tree. It’s an artificial, pre-lit tree, so that’s the only reason there are lights on it at all. If we have guests over who are wondering what the hell happened to all our decorations, I’ll just tell them the Grinch stopped by. Or, you know, I gave birth to him.