Not a boring resolutions post, is it?

I’m not normally a resolution maker, but I think as I age I can see the wisdom in such an exercise. Know what else I’ve learned with age? Life is too short to a) wait until you’re alone to pull your underwear out of your butt, b) obey the sign that says, NO RIGHT TURN ON RED and c) listen to anyone who suggests that watching two hours of botfly infestation videos on YouTube is a waste of time.

Also, if someone sends me a link to a really good video of earwax removal, I’m like THERE GOES THE REST OF MY DAY.

So I’ve been thinking about what I want for me and my family in the upcoming year, and here’s what I’ve come up with. Note: I’m trying to be realistic, so I avoided anything involving Zac Efron, but hey! Did you guys hear? He and Vanessa broke up! That’s just awful and tragic, but such good news for those of you who aren’t married and have the balls to stalk him!

First, I want to cook more. Oh god, Jon’s mom is going to read that and start calling every day to make sure I haven’t burned down the house. Not going to happen! You know why? Because Tyrant heard I was going to help my mom cook the turkey for Thanksgiving and he immediately bought a fire extinguisher.

Next, I’d like to read more books. I could tell you the specific number of books I have in mind for the year, but then you would know how little I’m reading now, and that may be the one thing in my life I’m too embarrassed to share. It’s just… all those episodes of “America’s Next Top Model” aren’t going to watch themselves, and next thing you know the free time that I would have used to read a book is gone!

And finally (yes, there are only three things on this list, otherwise I’d be too overwhelmed, and next thing you know it’s a Tyra smorgasbord all over again), and this one is going to sound weird, but I want to mix up my wardrobe a little bit. Take more risks. Not like bikini-top-basketball-shorts-Jesus-sandals kind of risk, I’d just like to wear a wider variety of what I already own and not just the same comfortable t-shirt over and over again. Or have my friend Cami text me at eight o’clock at night asking, “Are you still in your workout clothes from this morning?” and have the answer be, “Yes, how did you know?”

Spill it. What are you aiming for this year? (if the answer is “moose” or “elk” I don’t want to know)

  • Mandy

    Meditate everyday. Basically become more zen. I got incredibly stressed last year over a variety of things (mostly mother in law related) but I also think turning 40 had something to do with it. Anyway it took a toll on my body which made me even more anxious/depressed so now I’m on medication for the first time in my life! Now I want to breath easy in 2011, sort myself out and concentrate on what I really want to get out of life.

  • strawick

    mine’s not a resolution but more a statement of fact:

    i will make burpees my bitch.

    that’s all.

  • kristanhoffman

    Hmm, a few reading recommendations for you (based on my fave books from 2010, but only ones I think you might actually like, based on what I know about you from your blog):

    - ANNA AND THE FRENCH KISS by Stephanie Perkins
    - THE HUNGER GAMES series by Suzanne Collins
    - HOTEL ON THE CORNER OF BITTER AND SWEET by Jamie Ford
    - WATER FOR ELEPHANTS by Sara Gruen
    - DIVINE SECRETS OF THE YA-YA SISTERHOOD by Rebecca Wells
    - ABSOLUTELY TRUE DIARY OF A PART-TIME INDIAN by Sherman Alexie

    My new year’s resolution is simple: bring new pages to my critique group every week. (I’m an aspiring writer.)

    My everyday resolutions are relatively simple, too: be happy, grateful, and kind. :)

  • mbioJane9

    I’d like to phone my grandmother more often this year.

  • Laura Jones

    Can Jon put in a “like” button? I enjoy reading some of the comments your readers make and want to click like to let them know.

    I resolve to spread 2 pounds of dandelion seeds on my neighbor’s immaculate lawn, to be a better photographer, and to read the college text books I avoided while actually in college. Which one of those three do you think I will actually achieve?

  • kataylor7

    To do more karaoke in 2011. Haiiiiiii.

  • zpetals

    For this year:

    move more (I’m doing the 100 Days Challenge—John Bingham’s motivational thingy on Facebook—and while I’ve already worked out or practiced yoga 3 or 4 times per week, it’s easier to say to myself that I HAVE to get my 30 minutes in! That said, we’re only on day 3….)

    Run another marathon, and run a PR (that’s Personal Record, in case you aren’t a runner geek like me).

    Be gentler towards myself. I don’t know how I will make this work, but I’m pretty hard on myself. Maybe breathe deeply, more often. That might help.

    Also have some financial goals that have to happen before Bean starts kindergarten in the fall….

    Oh! And here’s a great book: The Book of Lost Things. Also, The Good Thief. Gorgeous books, both of them.

  • Sassafras Mama

    My resolutions are not large in number, just large to me: 1. Not to sweat the small stuff; 2. Get out there and try my hand at finding love (just writing it makes me sick to my stomach….fear of rejection sucks); 3. Have more patience with my son; and 4. Being grateful for the blessings in my life (I wrote about that:http://sassafrasmama.blogspot.com/2011/01/blessings.html)

    Bookwise, I share the endorsement of Water for Elephants and recommend The Ha-Ha by Dave King and Audrey Niffennegger’s The Time Traveler’s Wife.

  • misssurly

    Continue to get out of debt and work towards out dream property…

    Trust that I will be a good mom and give myself permission to learn things along the way. There’s no way to be prepared for EVERYTHING before the baby arrives!

    Love more, laugh more, be silly, remember the simple things and enjoy friend/family and nature that surround me. I’m so lucky, I just need to remember that more often.

  • pemstar2000

    I think my main goal is to not yell so much. With 8 children in the house (ages 11, 10, 9, 3, 2, 2, 2, and 9 months), it seems like that is all I do. Oh, and maybe a TV in my room(just kidding, they aren’t all biologically mine)! Well damn, already blew that resolution….

  • tiny apple

    i want to give birth to this child and then not turn into a frump like i did after my first was born. i want to attempt a hairstyle, and maybe put on makeup more frequently than when i have a wedding to attend, and not wear the same schlumpy wardrobe of t-shirts and jeans all the time. and maybe, just maybe, i can manage to get some of the extra baby weight off that i’m still carrying around from pregnancy #1!

  • Jen Cottrell

    I quit smoking 18 months ago, and in the process managed to gain 15 pounds. My goal is shed those 15 pounds by Memorial Day weekend. I will crown myself the Valedictorian of Weight Loss if I lose more and/or meet my goal sooner.

    Happy New Year!

  • mrstilly

    I want to cook more also. I’m six months pregnant and I’d like to come up with some easy meals my husband loves before the baby comes so I won’t be a new mom stressing about dinner.

    I also want to get back in shape after the baby, with lots of walks, hiking and maybe even some running by summer or fall.

  • Onewithbooks

    I am not calling them resoultions, but life choices for 2011. I want to work on my self image, do the best I can in school, and I want to continue the path of living on less, both in only buying what I NEED, getting rid of what I do not.

    I have started the last one already. I have been systematically going through rooms in my house. In the bathroom I tossed a K-mart bag half full of expired cosmetics. (I had no idea time had flown so fast on those shelf life dates). I also went through the medicine cabinet and tossed. Who knew rubbing alcohol expired? Then I went through my bedroom and evaluated all of my “junk drawers” and took three drawers that were “junk” and now I have one “utility drawer” and two empty ones.

    Today I went through the hall closet. In there we keep coats, gloves, scarves, a vacuum, some extra towels, extra cleaning supplies, tissues, and bath products. I took out probably a half a trash bag of things that were near empty, or so old I couldn’t remember when we purchased them (2++ years ago) and things that had definitely gone bad.

    Now I am taking a break from the office. My goal there is to have clear space. That means boxing up last semesters stuff, boxing the books I want to keep, getting rid of the ones I don’t, and sorting papers.

    Yay for progress!!

  • bellamaxjoy

    to better manage my time, and to learn to say no to people.

  • Cori_S

    1. Walk the dog three times a week for 30 minutes

    2. Pack a lunch a minimum of once a week

    3. Lights off by midnight. This is going to be the hardest one for me, I think. Night owl + two kids + avid reader = ridiculous bedtimes (we’re talking 3am, often). But I recently read in a magazine a quote by some beautiful person (Heidi Klum, maybe?) that said her secret weapon was sleep. That resonated with me.

  • territorial

    Oh where to begin!

    * a Photography course for me! I am finally going to take that damn camera off of auto!

    * slow down. I feel like I am spinning out of control most days, might be my gargantuan caffeine intake. Must check that.

    * just be healthier, mind body and spirit.

  • Gfunk

    Oh, the botfly videos. I got sucked into watching those. Did you see the one where the boyfriend pulled the botfly out of his girlfriend’s head (back of her head, I think). Gross AND awesome.

  • JuliaDil

    ugh… i only have one resolution this year:
    STOP PICKING MY FACE
    (unless, of course, the “problem” is really ready to go and not just MAYBE-COULD-BE ready to go)

  • aphoenix

    I’m going to spend about half this year pregnant with our first child, then the rest of it as a new mother, so my resolution for 2011 is to forgive myself. I’ve already experienced a little of the insane stress of “I think that might have had nitrates in it! Did I just KILL THE BABY????”

    So keeping sane and forgiving myself — that’s going to be my mantra this year.

    By the way, with regard to reading more, my experience has been that I can start 5 good-for-me books and still feel like I’m forcing myself to read them — but then you get to that sixth one, and it just grabs you right away and doesn’t let you go. Read a few of those in a row and you’ll be hooked — then you can tackle one of those “should-read” books that might take a bit more work.

  • karmadarling

    I want to be nicer.

    Especially to my sweet husband who is working two full time jobs while about to start his last semester of his undergraduate. All so I can stay home with our sweet girl.

    So I want to be nicer to him especially.

  • Not So Glamorous Housewife

    Seriously I need to simplify. If it’s crap it is gone.

  • Shea

    I am almost of ashamed of mine ’cause it is way too unreal to even happen but it’s only one, I can’t even imagine having three, yet it may actually be an impossible one but here goes…..

    I, Shea, vow this year to treat everyday as if it is a holiday.

    Oh. Good. Gosh.

    Good luck, Heather.

  • nikki

    1) To not be so distracted by things like BOTFLY VIDEOS.

    That’s all, really.

  • tokenblogger

    I watch those enGROSSing videos, too (and many others).

    I’m still working on my loads of crap all over the house.

  • jennisdrinking

    Be more patient. Especially with my daughter. She’s in 1st grade so she asks a million questions, and she’s supposed to, but sometimes I’m ready to pull my hair out and scream. (Usually after I’ve answered the same question twice a day for a couple of days…) Other than that, get rid of the clutter and ditch the frumpy housewife look, and go on more dates with the hubs :)

  • Jenguin

    For years I never accomplished “resolutions” so instead I decided to just make small “goals.”

    Last year’s goals included getting to goal weight (I had gastric bypass surgery Sept ’09, I lost 145 lbs!), run a 5k, learn to ski, learn to kayak, dressing up for Halloween (not terribly slutty, but a cute outfit!) — among other ones. I accomplished them all!

    So this year I made some more; run a 10k (and possibly a half marathon before the year is out), learn indoor rock climbing, hike more, swim more, and lay out on the beach at a resort. I included a bunch of crafty ones and that whole ‘read more books’ one snuck in too. (www.jenguin.com)

  • KarmenTheGreat

    I resolve to be more selfish. It sounds terrible I know. I need to do more for myself. I am 26 years old and have never had a professional hair cut, I have never owned a pair of heals or an outfit that cost more than $40. This year is all about me!

  • writtendad

    I’m stealing your number two. I need to read more. Way more.

    And I need to try and live by a schedule that is more mine than everyone else’s. But, since I have a family, schooling, and a full-time job, that is really just a fluffy resolution that means nothing and will likely never come to fruition.

    So I’ll stick with books. Read more books.

  • colbyiscool

    to use my camera every day, and choose one photo per day, so that at the end of the year i will have a collection of 365 photos of my year.

  • Daddy Scratches

    My resolution is to have a year that sucks exponentially less than 2010. Assuming I don’t slip into another severe depression, get laid off, sell a house, buy a house, lose a close family member and try to put my life back together in a strange place 350 miles away from my previous home, it should be do-able.

    Also: Write more, workout more, stress less … and find a new shrink.

    Happy New Year, Heather. :)

  • susiefish

    1) Be a nicer person. I’m suddenly aware of how negative I am because I’m worried my one year old will pick it up from me! There’s no need for me to make fun of the bad hairpiece on the guy on tv, or be so sarcastic about politicians, or swear so much while I’m driving. So I’d like to have a much better filter on what leaves my mouth!

    2) Less stuff, better quality. I’m tired of buying three cheap sweaters and having one shrink, one unravel and one lose its color. I’d rather buy one really nice, classic sweater and wear it all the time.

  • missusclark

    I really, really need to work on my patience. “Keep Calm and Carry On” is my goal. And get rid of useless shit. Oh, and keep my kitchen floor cleaner.

  • KoralwithaK

    I quickly opened YouTube and searched for both earwax removal and botfly removal. Amazing. My life is forever changed.

  • SquareApple

    Totally not a resolution here, but have you seen the YouTube video for the biggest zit popping? Your reference to earwax immediately sparked my memory. If you are a glutton for grossness like I am you will get a kick out of it…..extra points for grossing out all family memebers. http://www.youtube.com/verify_age?next_url=http://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DXf8G-c_eAhs

  • BargainBex

    It may sound frivolous when I say it … but I’m trying to grow out my hair the entire year long and it’s gonna be a doozy.

    See … my sister is my hairdresser so every time I see her, it’s pretty darn easy to tell her I need a quick trim or a touch-up here and there, but I’m determined to stick to my guns and venture out into the longer-haired world (I’ve donned my cute, go-to pixie far too long now)

    I need a change. Might as well start on the outside to get the inside a little jealous and wanting to catch up, you know?

  • Andys Got a Grip

    I have a very ambitious year planned. I have drawn my crude version of house plans for me and my sister, which includes a tiny house for each of us and a large greenhouse/conservatory with a small pool that joins them and I’m taking those drawings to an architect to finish and then I’m building those suckers on the old family farm. And then I’m going to garden and do all the artwork I can physically handle and write books and read books. I’m going to have chickens and geese and ducks, I’m going to have a milk cow and a pig or two (yes, I will eat their babies) and maybe a couple of goats. I’m going to make yogurt and cheese. And my grandchildren will come and we’ll bake and garden and play with the animals and swim and have fun.

    That is unless I drop dead first. Then all bets are off.

  • paperback_writer

    Looking at past books you’ve recommended, I’m not 100% sure we’re on the same literary page, but “Edgar Sawtelle” by David Wrobleski is a gorgeously written book. About (nominally) a family that trains dogs. You might feel that the dogs are over-fictionalized (waaaayyyy too obedient), but I’ve been suggesting it to many friends who are looking to up their reading quotient this year.

    My resolutions:
    I’m a workaholic in a job that involves taking care of a lot of people. I do it well, but I don’t do the “taking care of myself” part well *at all.* I’m resolving to meditate twice a week, swim or jog three times a week, and get eight hours of sleep for at least five nights a week.
    If I’m still doing well on the above after a month, I’ll consider learning basic French (I have a trip planned there for this summer) and earnestly trying to lose 20 lbs (’cause two years of not going to the gym, not sleeping, and eating all your meals in the car are a sure-fire way to get a truly special body).

  • breeb

    goddamnit. now i just watched 5 videos on bot fly removal.

  • Becky Cochrane

    Get two manuscripts ready for submission. Keep going on the resolutions I made last year and have had success with. I’m determined 2011 will be great!

  • jan001

    Although these resolutions are not restricted to New Year (I seem to have to make and re-make them several times a year), here goes:

    I will try to let the storms at work swirl around me and not be sucked into them so much.

    Along that line: I will try to swear less often and less loudly at work. Ahem. Yes, well. Moving on.

    I will work on my meditation. I’ve been doing it for a long time and can drop into a meditative state pretty quickly and that’s all fine and everything, except I don’t do it as often or for as long as I should.

    I will read more just for pleasure. Currently working on:
    The Story of Edgar Sawtelle
    The Abstinence Teacher
    Silent Bob Speaks
    Waiting in the wings:
    The Elephant to Hollywood
    …Jon Stewart’s Earth
    The Russian Debutante’s Handbook
    Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
    I Still Dream about You

    I’ve kind of given up on the losing-weight and working-out-more ones.

  • Braidwood

    One of my resolutions is to cook more- really to learn to cook. (Internet high five!) And I feel really good about my resolution after reading this article: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/02/weekinreview/02bittman.html?_r=3 yay me!

    I’m going to continue reading the Newberry Medal award winning books. (Oh my gosh, I just realized that two of our resolutions are very similar!) I actually read a lot, but I stopped reading as much fiction as I got older. The Newberry books are fantastic because they are really well written but usually don’t have the trauma and tragedy of well written books for adults. yay! Just my speed. I read about 20 this year and they were great.

    hmmm… exercise… good food that I cook… good books… I know there were some other ones, but I forget right now.

  • katmart

    My resolution is kind of straight forward.

    While I love my hubby, I have come to the realization that we spend too much time together. How much time? Well, I can count on my hand how many times I went out with a friend without him last year!

    So I want to be more social this year and get out there and meet new people at the same time spend some good times with my close friends.

    I want to reach out to others rather than have them reach out to me.

  • Pluckychick

    Does it count if I don’t make my new years resolutions/wishes until today, 1/4??? Cause apparently the partial eclipse in the new moon today is The Best Day Ever to make wishes for the year.

    That said I don’t plan on revealing to anyone my plans for world domination.

  • Leslie_Yum

    I’m trying to keep it simple. There are a lot of things that I will try to do more of (eat better, more yoga, more books), but the two that I will focus on are:
    -enunciate
    and
    -sit up straight

    They rhyme, so they’re easy to say over and over to myself while trying not to be hunched over my desk at work…

  • debhayford

    After 2010 has literally kicked my ass; with my daughters stroke and her healing, to her recovery, to more surgery in August, to her beginning college a week after her hopefully last surgery, to her continued recovery, to my other daughter (her twin) shipping out to the air force, to my fathers death, to having to put my Basset, my old friend, for so many years, Bubba down -I would say keep loved ones as close to you as possible and be positive and strong and relax and enjoy. To say to all that things can happen that can instantly change the course of your life to what you hadn’t expected is an understatement to my year.
    Love your family and cherish them. I am wishing for a content 2011 and to make a point to appreciate what we have; Happy New Year to all – may 2011 bring you much happiness!

  • DooceFan4Eva

    I actually have read more books on my list this year too. I would like to read books with more substance. Perhaps some non-fiction. But I’m not a fast reader, so just getting through the few recreational books I do read is an accomplishment. I’d also say workout more. But we know how that goes. So, I’m not gonna say it. :)

  • jessiCat

    -Cook more

    -Have more patience with my 7 year old son who has ADHD.

    -SLOW.DOWN. And enjoy today! And stop fretting over tomorrow, next month & when my next paycheck gets deposited.

    -Take more walks and read more books with my son.

    -Remember that tomorrow is never guaranteed, and I need not take my life for granted. I love this crazy, dysfunctional, exciting, loved, and truly blessed life of mine.

    Thanks, Jon & Heather, for giving us a glimpse into your lives and for reminding us that it’ll all be okay! The DoCo had done more than you could ever realize for us, and I say CHEERS to all of us in 2011.

    HAPPY NEW YEAR, Y’all!

  • Elizallen

    No real resolutions this year except get more sleep, but funny you said you want to read more. I just started “Mennonite in a Little Black Dress” by Rhoda Janzen and while laughing out loud I thought, “Heather Armstrong would love this book.” I don’t know you, but it reminds me of your sense of humor and her thoughts about the family she loves, but still thinks is entirely goofy reminds me of your connection to your family. Hope you achieve at least one of your resolutions and don’t burn down your house doing so.

  • Figtron

    I will do something I said I would never, ever do again.

    I’m getting married, to the man of my dreams. Fairy tales are a joke compared to this…my very own happy ending.

    I cannot stop smiling.