• Mrs Squirrel Assassin

    My maiden name was Batte (pronounced bat) so my mom often called me Dingbat. Does that count?

  • ginarae

    My husband calls me pudding head. As a child I was called Bean (among other things I won’t repeat) and my daughter calls me momma mucha.

  • georgiacatwoman

    Ca-ca pronounced like the ca in cactus. I got it because my name is Catherine which was too difficult for my younger sisters to say. As we grew older they would say it in front of people when mad at me to embarrass me and it inevitably go turned in to the caca meaning poop. Lucky me!

  • DeeChristo

    My nickname is DB. It stands for Dick Bandit, which I am not, but I am fond of the song “Back That Ass Up” in which the term Dick Bandit is used. DB also stands for Dentabone: as in the bones that provide dental care to dogs – I once wondered why humans had nothing like a dentabone. My husband, appauled and confused began to call me DB as my nickname. It has been around for many moons. XOXO

  • newreader

    ahem. “sowing”. Wouldn’t be a big deal if “sewing wild oats” didn’t create such an impossibly literal image.

  • denises

    My name is Denise but my friends call me D, or sometimes Big D because I’m just a wee little thing. Congrats on 10 years!

  • deege

    My nickname is “Deege”, most often said with a whine. “Deeeeeeege!” Because some people don’t like Dee and are just too lazy to say the whole thing, which is Deidra.

  • patrice108

    I never had a nickname. when talking to me, my parents shortened my name from patrice to tricey but that’s about it. for one year in 4th grade, people called me PC which are just my initials.

    but I always wanted a nickname. sigh.

  • sddreams

    At work I’m “Downtown Jeanne Brown!” (always said with much gusto by my co-workers. In High School I was jean-doggie (don’t ask)…And at home I’m just Mamo.

  • jesusita

    Hmmm…nicknames…my childhood nickname is [redacted]. Why [redacted]? Because no one but my parents and sister are allowed to call me that. (Okay, my grandpa can, too.) I won’t tell. I don’t like it.

    Other than that, I don’t really have too many non-husband-related nicknames that I’ve been called lately, other than the obvious shortened version of my name: Jess. I don’t know that anyone wants to hear the sappy things my husband and I call each other, though. I have a ton of nicknames from HS, but no one really calls me those any longer either.

    Ummmm…a funny one from when I was younger, though. I’ve always been short, and when I was a very young kid, I couldn’t reach the floor when I was on the toilet. I don’t know why this occurred to my dad, but I have been told that he started calling me “Squeaky Butt” because my legs would squeak against the seat as I slid off. I don’t recall this myself, but family swear it was a nickname of mine for quite a while. (Of course, this is the same family who swear I found my invisible, imaginary friends in the bathtub at my grandparents’ house and carried these friends around in my hand…I don’t think any of us should believe them.)

  • ginko527

    Mine was “sunshine”. Then I became a teenager….

  • aniapetunia


    In high school, a boy started calling me “knees”, and it stuck for years. Being the naive little girl that I was, I had no idea what they meant by it…I was just flattered I was getting attention.

    So only MUCH later in life, when some guy finally admitted that they called me Ania Knees (On Ya Knees), in reference to a position for BJs. Boys!

  • meguire

    Mac. My first name is Meguire (pronounced like Jerry Maguire and Mark McGwire) and people often have a hard time with that – they always ask me what my first name is, or (if we’ve only corresponded via email) they think I’m a man. Spelling it is even harder… everyone wants to add an “a” or a “c” or a “q” somewhere. So – my third grade crush called me Mac. Which I realize isn’t even a loose abbreviation of my name so I suppose one could argue it’s not a great nickname. It also perpetuates the common misconception that there is a “c” in my name… but I liked it and it stuck – the nickname that is, not the crush. So that’s my $1000 story and now I’m fairly certain you’ll be moving me into the “not eligible” pile. :)

    Cheers dooce – thanks so much for your brilliance. You are a light in my day and I wish you ten more years of success (and diarrhea, vomit, etc). :)

  • JoanB

    Umm… We do not do nicknames in my family. Not sure why. My sister picked short names and has nicknames for all 4 kids. I picked long names, but do not use any nicknames. When I was a kid, I went by Joni, and so when I see people that knew me 30 years ago, they all call me that.

  • crystalgoostree

    Momma … and I love it.

  • karasalz

    My husband calls me Punky? And that’s just how I feel about that. ???? I don’t understand it either.

  • MaryAnne

    “AiryMan” … when my youngest niece was learning to talk she couldn’t say my name correctly and this is what she came up with. We’re not sure if she switched it around a la Pig Latin, or if she was attempting to say “Aunt MaryAnne” (a mouthful to be sure) very fast and it sort of all ran together.

  • Not Charlotte

    My Dad called me Turdly when I was little… awesome, right? Especially for a little girl.

  • azpoppy

    When I first started posting on a bulletin board (BBS) in 1993 (incidentally, this is where I ended up meeting my husband), my user name was Poppaea (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poppaea_Sabina). I was studying Roman art at the time and was intrigued by the power that Poppaea manifested over the men in her life, plus I think it is a pretty name. Hard to spell, so the people on my board took to calling me “Poppy” instead (which I much preferred to the other option “poopy”). Soon after, I added “az” because I was born and raised in Arizona and finally ended up with azpoppy. :-)

  • Toadfish3

    My nickname was Big Dog in college because at the time there was a line of Big Dog tshirts and I think I owned every one. Yeah I was kind of an idiot. HA!

  • ReneeOC

    My nickname, bestowed during high school, is Rage. It originated as “Ray Jay,” which came from an old comic routine of Raymond J. Johnson (“You can call me Ray or you can call me Jay…”). Eventually, it was shortened to Rage. I think the name stuck because I’m constantly accused of being too nice, too happy, etc. Quite the opposite of what’s implied by raaaaage. It became like an inside joke. If only said accusers could see the cesspool roiling under that sunny demeanor, they’d know my nickname is actually quite fitting!

  • nikki.battle

    My full name is Leslie Nichol but as I’m named after my dad who is also Leslie, I’ve always gone by Nikki. On a more interesting note, my husband began calling me Egg Head soon after we started dating. I’m not sure why he chose that particular name, but he seemed to find endless amusement in calling me that.

  • blueshi

    I nicknamed myself blueshi over ten years ago after reading Heart of Gold by Sharon Shinn. Basically, it means bitch. (((beams)))

  • Zeva

    A co-worker once nicknamed me Maggs. It kind of stuck. Now a days I use it mostly online.

    Congratulations on 10 years!

  • mina

    Mine is “curly locks” from my husband from the obvious fact that my hair is “very” “very” and one more “very” curly….

  • victoly


  • Mouse

    My school friends used to call me Mouse, cause I’m small and timid. Sometimes they’d also call me Noodle, as a play on my name.

  • kritho

    My nickname is QWERTY or “Q” and it’s been so powerful that I respond more often to Q than I do to my real name. It started when I needed a suitable roller derby name – I’m on the Fairbanks Rollergirls Roller Derby team in Alaska – that also incorporated something about my life. I’ve become the resident computer geek and somehow QWERTY seemed like a good fit. Most people don’t get it and I have to say “like the keyboard” but there are also random strangers (or players from visiting teams) who get it right away and think it’s awesome.

  • ppapy

    ppapy (pronounced papy)
    stands for “Pretty Purple Alien Princess You.”

    When I was little I had this elaborate story about how my parent’s weren’t really my parents, just my guardians, because there was a war on my home planet; and I was sent to earth until I was old enough to go back and rescue everyone. It’s possible I watched too much sci-fi as a five year old. At about 13 I realized this was not true and spent a very tough week in mourning.

    After high-school, I was telling my friends about this and they gave me the initial nickname of pap, but that was awkward, obviously, so they changed it to papy. And then added another p at the beginning, just cause they were nice. And so ppapy was coined.

  • melodywise

    My brother used to call me ‘Bisty.” I’m not sure how that’s any easier than “Melody” but there it was. As he grew older, I nicknamed him “Creature Boob” which morphed into “CB” and finally settled on “Boob.” I’ve been calling him Boob for close to 15 years now, and he’s now Uncle Boob, which just tickles me.

  • srising

    My middle name is Ruth, so my family calls me Ruthie. I think it’s cute. My uncle calls me Roofer. That’s not quite as cute.

  • samanthasight

    My parents call me ‘little bean’. I was born 3 months early when I was a baby – 2lbs and 12 oz. I literally was the size of a bean.

  • Amy Jo

    Every now and then one of my parents will sign off a phone call with “Bye, Weeze” and it takes me minute to figure out what they said. Their nickname for me is Weasel. I’d like to say it’s as old as my granny’s panties, but it just feels like it.

  • scdchicago

    I’ve only had one nickname. My husband* used to call me Toot. Why? I’m an only child who heard a scolding “don’t toot your own horn!” any time I expressed a glimmer of pride or confidence. He encouraged the opposite–he encouraged shouting all that is good about me. Calling me Toot was one of the many ways he worked to undo negative childhood crap and every time he said it or wrote it in a card, I felt years of belittling replies melt away.

    Husband has an * because, well, it’s complicated. We met in college, I loved him fiercely, we married after graduation. He was my best friend. I felt loved and lucky. 10 years later he came out of the closet. Huh? I thought that only happened in Lifetime movies or to guests on Oprah. Confusion. Sadness. Hooray to him for finding the courage to accept himself, but for me, only loss. Surprisingly, discovering love can morph into another kind of love equally worth embracing. We remain close friends. And we’re still legally married for health insurance.

    He no longer calls me Toot, but that’s okay. The weight of that * could have done me in, but because of how his love strengthened and changed me, it didn’t.

    As you know, survival is glorious and sometimes even a nickname is partly responsible.

    Thanks for this blog. Reading it brings joy to my life.

  • jazdem

    Nickname: Cinnamon.

    I was visiting a friend at the bike shop he used to work at, and one of his co-workers (who was high 94% of the time) furrowed his brow, stared at me for a minute, and said “I can’t remember your name… I want to say it’s Cinnamon, or something like that.”

    My name is actually Jasmine, and he had met me at least half a dozen times before. I told him he could call me Cinnamon. My friends thought it was pretty funny and the name stuck. Both my real name and nickname would be great handles if I was an exotic dancer. Too bad they’re totally wasted on me, a lowly writer.

  • lgenner

    My nickname is Biddy…and not like old biddy because at 31 I have the aches, pains, and euphemisms of an 80 year old cranktastic old man. It was because since I was such a small and precious bundle of joy my grandmother started calling me “itty biddy liddie” and it just stuck.

  • havingsaidthat

    My nickname (or rather, it was one from HS) was Slick. I got a very inaccurate reputation for…um, well when I say where it came from you’ll know. Remember the Bel Biv Devoe song “Poison”? When he says “Yo Slick – Blow”? That! And it’s true what they say, you never trust a big butt and a smile!

  • ambams8

    My nick name in high school was “ambam”.

    My daughter (a few months younger than marlo) currently refuses to call me mommy and instead calls me “aaaaammmmaaa!” (this is her interpretation of my husband yelling my name(amber) from our bedroom which she hears on a frequent basis.

  • gensanchez

    My name is Genesis, and I mean, I’ve always loved my name, but loathed my nickname: Jenny. It always felt really childish, and I mean, come on, they didn’t even spell it right. So anyways, when I went to college (I’m a freshman at Columbia University), a friend of mine was repeating my name over and over again: “Genesis… Genesisss..Geeeenessis..Gen…esis..Does anybody ever call you Nesis?” And obviously, nobody would ever call me that. So I replied with a no, and he kept saying “Nesis” until it transformed into “Nessie”. So now my friends at school call me Nessie. Yes, Nessie like the Loch Ness Monster. What an evolution.

    – Genesis Sanchez (genxsanchez (at) gmail (dot) com

  • suebob

    This actually made me get all teary reading it. Those damned cupcakes. Because I know that, while you are the blogger that people love to either fawn over or be over (“I’m so over Dooce, she used to be good but…”), I’m thankful for you, hopefully in a non-fawny way. You’re one of us, and that cupcake is right – you have saved people’s lives. Talking about PPD before anyone else did was a first radical step in personal blogging. Your honesty about motherhood opened the door for so many other bloggers to tell the truth. I don’t know how many people I have met who said “The first blog I read was Dooce.” So. Thank you times 10 years.

    ANYWAY, my nickname, Suebob, is what everyone in my life calls me except at work. My MOM calls me Suebob. And, like you, I wish I had a better story. But Suebob came about when I was in college, living in a houseful of girls, and we all were going to bed and shouting good night to each other, a la the Waltons, and instead of John-boy, I became Suebob. Because my real name is so boring and forgettable – Sue Davis – Suebob stuck. Everyone remembers Suebob, for good or for ill, though sometimes people call me Bobbie Sue.

  • Lovebuzz38

    Ok, so this isn’t my nickname, but it belongs to a cousin of mine. His nickname is “Spooner” because when he was little, he accidentally POKED OUT his OWN EYE with a SPOON! No lie, true story. I think that’s about as crazy as it gets.

    Spooner is also a pretty accomplished musician and one of the nicest guys you could meet. Go here to see his website: http://www.spooneroldham.com

  • amweathers

    Nicknames in our house (I am a nickname freak – people can’t stop me, and I don’t even know I’m doing it):

    Cats: Junski and Sammy (Sam and June)

    Daughter Vivienne: Pookie, Pookilino, Tootie/Toots, Vivski, Cuton (don’t ask), they go on and on

    Husband Mitch: Mdub


  • jmarvel1

    My nickname is Jinkies. I got it when I was at girls scout sleep-away camp back in middle school. One of the girls said I looked like Thelma from Scooby-Doo, nice right, and unfortunately it stuck. Happy Anniversary!

  • Aine

    Congratulations on ten years!

    I’ve had several nicknames, like most people, but my favorite is “bokkie” – a South African term of endearment for one’s sweetheart. Only one person calls me that, but only one needs to.

  • Cate

    The nickname I got when I was first born was “Skeeter”. After seeing me as a newborn, my uncle said I was so tiny, no bigger than a ‘skeeter. As in a mosquito. And the name stuck with my father, and ever since he has addressed me as Skeeter. Embarrassing at times!

  • ksspiff

    I have a family friend/former boss who has dubbed me ‘Crystal Green.’ Occasionally, he’ll go straight for Emerald.

    The summers during high school, when I worked for him and his family business, he would never use my correct first name: Kristen. I’d get Valerie, Judith, Angela, but he finally settled on Crystal.

    I later married and my last name changed to a color, not Green, but he had to continue the tradition.

  • sandyk199

    Australians often like their nicknames to be obscure, so I inherited mine by way of one of my brothers. My oldest brother got named “Fruitcake’ because his mates reckoned he was as nutty as one. That eventually got changed to “Ritz”, after the brand ‘Ritz Fruitcake’, and over time that got shortened to “Cake”. My mum got called Mrs Cake, and because I’m 13 years older than Cake, I got … Babycake.

    Oh the joy of it all. I’ve 40 now and have moved far, far away from the small coastal town I grew up in, but the name has followed. Once in a blue moon I’ll be at the pub when suddenly some guy covered in tattoos will walk towards me with a massive grin, arms outstretched saying ‘Bugger me, it’s Babycake!’. Moments like that, money can’t buy …

    There’s also the matter of my OTHER brother, Flea. He’s now 49 years old, and there are only about a dozen people in the country that know his real name is Brian. He’s even been listed in the phone directory by that nickname to – bear with me – avoid confusion.

    Maybe Babycake isn’t so bad after all, but I can’t help but wonder what Flea’s mates would’ve come up if they tried to tag me on the merits of his nickname instead …

  • chronic-shock

    I was on swim team in high school, and one day I forgot my goggles. I had to practice with no goggles, which resulted in some serious red eyeballs. Two of my fellow male swim team buddies thought it was hilarious that I looked like I’d been hitting the bong all morning and started calling me Chronic. Then they realized their unintentional brilliance, in that my last name looked a lot like the word Chronic. So that sealed the deal. From that day on, I’ve been known as Chronic. (Long before I even knew what The Chronic was)

  • ba

    I was christened “shmeffer” (or “schmeffer” as the good Germans in my family seem to prefer) before I was able to talk and defend myself.

    I’ve heard that it started as some contortion of my actual name, Bethany, but not sure how “Bethany, Shmeffany, shmeffer” just happens. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that these things just happen to the youngest child.

    I’m now 33 and still answer to “shmeffer”. On the upside, I’ve never had to fight anyone to claim the username/login/id “shmeffer” online.

  • Regency Romantic

    Thank YOU for simultaneously entertaining me AND taking the shame/stigma from PPD — you saved my self-respect, really truly.

    Nicknames, nicknames…Pooh Bear when I was growing up, Beaker in high school (yes, after the Muppet — had red hair and “meeped” when I laughed), and my current (and personal favorite) Mama. : )

    Happy tenth, Dooce! Love you beau coup!