My mom always told me "Jello is made out of Horses Hooves" . I haven't eaten it since.

Okay, those are HILARIOUS.

This wasn't a parent, but still traumatizing: I had a should-have-been-fired band teacher once who wanted us to play a certain note as if we were sitting in an outhouse and someone reached up and pinched our bums. I am terrified of outhouses to this day, and sometimes even on the toilet at home I'm scared that someone's going to reach up and pinch me.

Irrational, yes, BUT STILL SCARY.

When I was about 13 my parents decided to give me "the talk"...and apparently a long car ride was the right time. My mother was very careful to use the appropriate terms, delivered gently, with lots of mentions of waiting until I was in love. (Sorry mom, I waited until I was drunk, but close enough...) My father's only contribution to that already horribly awkward discussion?

"If a guy tells you he'll pull out, don't believe him."

When I was a teenager, I asked my mother why my curfew was earlier than my brother's (who's just 15 months older than I). Her reply?

"Because girls get pregnant."

Jello isn't made from horses hooves ... but it is made from bones ... either way ... I am NOT eating it!

When I was in elementary school I mentioned something to my parents about growing my bangs out. My dad said 'your forehead is too big'. And I didn't grow them out until I was in my mid-twenties. He also says that eating raw cookie dough will give you worms because of the raw egg, but all of us (me and my three siblings) were always willing to risk it. Never once did anyone get worms.

Have you heard about this guy? The toilet story reminded me of him... Japanese parents use this guy to get their kids to sleep at night WTF>

"As water monsters, kappa have been frequently blamed for drownings, and are often said to try to lure people to the water and pull them in with their great skill at wrestling.[10] They are sometimes said to take their victims for the purpose of eating their livers or their shirikodama (尻子玉?), a mythical ball inside the anus"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kappa_(folklore)

I had a real live toilet frog!!!

A toad, actually. Went to sit down and THANK JEEBUS I looked first because there was this little toad staring back at me. He crawled up through the septic system, which I know because only my daughter and I were home that weekend and I know neither of us would have put him in the toilet. Also, we always leave the toilet seat lids down to keep the cats from drinking out of there.

Needless to say, I jumped around like an idiot and called my (then) husband (who was about 200 mi away) to see what I should do. I TAPED THE TOILET SEAT LID DOWN so I wouldn't accidentally open it in the middle of the night when I had to pee. And then I fretted over whether or not to feed it until the husband could come home and remove it.

Ok I am youngest of 3:this dissed my siblings and put lots of pressure on me:

My mom STILL says this (I am 56 yo)-

How to have the perfect child? Have 3 and throw the first 2 away......

She really said this all our lives

OMG @ChristineQ TOILET FROGS EXIST????!!

I'm never using a toilet again. I don't know what I'm going to use instead, but I have at least an hour to figure it out.

I don't know if they were everywhere, but I remember mannequins in a department store (Macy's perhaps?) that had small televisions (about 9") as heads. My mom told me that was what happened to your head if you watched too much tv. Every time after that when I watched tv for more than 30min, I'd feel the back of head and I swear to god I felt corners and thought my head was turning into a square (and on its way to a television). Thanks Mom!

Oh my the frog one seriously cracked my shit up. I told my kid sister once that those toy trolls would come alive and bite her if she didn't do what I said as a kid. One time we were in our van waiting for my mom to come back out. She wasn't doing what I wanted her to do so I started in with the troll voice and she started beating bloody murder on the window. A cop came up thinking I was murdering the little weirdo. To this day if someone says troll in her presence her ass twitches. ♥ Warms my heart.

There were three of us girls - all two years apart - growing up together.........we - my next sister and I - used to tell the youngest one that she was adopted from the weird family three doors down.

Didn't everyone tell the youngest child in the family that??

I don't know if she has ever forgiven us - it still comes up in an occasional conversation 50 years later :o)

I've also encountered frogs in toilets. Granted, it's only been at my grandparents' ranch in Northeast Brasil, but they're there. Also sometimes in the shower. They're rather tiny, but if they jump on you, they're very cold. I always check the toilet before using it because I'm afraid I'll end up with a cold little frog on my butt.

Also: your car CAN blow up if you don't change the oil. Not blow up Hollywood style (well, maybe, but mine didn't), but it can cause your engine to throw a rod and shut off and turn on all the warning lights and billow smoke and leave you stranded on the side of the road in the middle of the night. I did change the oil regularly in my old car, but apparently the people we bought it from didn't. It's lovely to call the state's roadside assistance people and have them tell you 2 people just called in to report your location because they think your car's on fire. (It wasn't; just smoking. Still scary.) So please do get the oil changed regularly. You don't want to replace the engine. Really.

when I got my braces on, my dad loudly laughed in my face and said I looked like the back of a radio.

delightful!

PS, he now has dentures. yay karma.