I didn't have boobs in 6th grade. My solution was to not wear a bra at all (I mean, what was the point?) Apparently that wasn't the right choice either. I'm convinced that no matter what you do, you'll be made fun of in middle school.

First off, I was deemed president of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee in middle school. Second, my husband has the exact same physique as your father. The Hot Topic girls love my personfied Jack the Pumpkin King man. I have come very close to cutting a few emo swoopy haired adolescent hoe bags who will not keep their vegan but I eat five bags of flaming hot cheetos a day hands off of my husband. It gets real in the Westfield mall parking lot.

I breastfed and seeing my engorged boobs has me dreaming about implants. But then I found out there is upkeep with that shit. Like, you have to get them replaced every ten years. So that idea got a big suck on it. The only thing that is suckable any more. I am now going for heroin chic where I am so flat I do not need a bra and the only dimension on my chest is my good and plenty nursed nipples.

itty bitties or melons deserve a great fitting bra no matter what. I am more of a melon girl, and yes Heather, some clothes just don't work. (button down shirts? not so much.) I cannot advocate more loudly than this: WOMEN OF THE WORLD, GO GET YOUR BRA FITTED PROFESSIONALLY and then spend a little extra on the good ones. Life. Changer. and less time in precious therapy sessions talking bras. ;-)

I had the opposite problem in high school. I went from nothing to C cups in one summer. On my 5'2, 98lb frame. Running helped reign them in a bit so they're now B's. Wearing two sports bras for any athletic event cured me of boob-envy though, that's for sure.

I was recently talking with some co-workers about the sad state of my chest since weaning my son. One co-worker put it perfectly and said, "Yup! They're like golf bags hanging in a sock aren't they?!" To which I replied, "EXACTLY!"

(By the way, the only other time I commented was when you asked for good charities. Yup, that's right, humanitarian work and boobs will get this girl to comment!)

I just got fitted for a bra after deciding to retire my 10-year-old one. Turns out I'm a DD, but I'm pretty sure at least one of those Ds is backfat.

Everyone should get professionally fitted every few years, especially if you find that you've changed clothing sizes. I bet 3/4 of women reading this are wearing the wrong size. (if you think you're a 38C, you're probably a 34E...everyone gets the band:cup ratio wrong)

In 6th grade I gladly would have given you my boobs. It was awful to be one of the first girls to wear a bra.

My flat-as-a-board daughter asked for a bra in 3rd grade. I bought her a microfiber sport style, with the hopes that when she actually *needed* a bra, she'd be used to it, and not embarrassed or ashamed.

Wow. I can so relate. Junior high was awful. I've always worn padded bras (not a lot of padding, just enough so I look like a woman and not a boy) I didn't think I could get any flatter until I nursed my two kids. I sometimes think I should just wear band-aids. I am curious what you do about swim wear, have you (and any other small chested person reading this) found a good brand/store for swim suits that work for small chests?

Any woman who enjoys big boobs, paid for them. Naturally large boobs suck bc they never stay in place, you have to wear two sport bras, & if they came in early, you got your bra snapped. Boobs are no fun no matter where they fall.

Is the "Skinny Cow Perfect Cup Campaign" the tie in to this BOOBS post? I would never refer to you as that. But you are perfect in my eyes.

@sugarleg: Amen to bra-fittings and expensive bras. I am a 36-G in a good bra, so I understand the need for a good one.

@townsete: Complaining about being a "full D." Please. I think the last time I was a full D was my freshman year of college. My boobs LOVED the birth control pill. (So did my boyfriend.)

Most chain stores (I'm looking at you Victoria's Secret) mask their real sizes so that women feel more "mainstream" in a B or C cup, but if you go to a really good bra store, a lot of you might be surprised to be pushing a little farther into the alphabet.

Not you, Heather. You're still in the early letters. Sorry. But you're gorgeous! We all are!

No one here should be dissing breasts. EVER.

By the way, I think you might make a few bucks writing a book called "The Boob-Growing Scone Diet". There's gotta be an audience for that.

I too am the other side of the spectrum. I have a very hour glass shape and thanks to my son, I now have 38 DD at 40. It's not cool when you hear coworkers talking behind your back (including your boss) saying that your boobs are fake and ridiculous for my frame.

Sixth grade is HELL! It was in 6th grade that I decided stuffing my bra was the only way to normalcy. And in the middle of rehearsals for the mothertrucking promotional exercise the tissue FELL OUT. Absolute mortification. Some friends I had! They all laughed at me like Carrie in the shower. Pelted me with wadded up tissues. I am literally flashing back. And I don't appreciate it, dooce, really, I don't. My oldest starts middle school this year. That wench has more boobs than me (I am jealous of a 10 yr old. Motherhood rocks). I always heard, "Oh, you'll gain weight and grow boobs after you have kids." Well how damn many do I have to have? B/c did you know they don't actually make a -32AAAAAAAAAAA bra?