Agreed. I was asking my mom the other day. Why can't I just feel fine? Why do I have to work so hard to just be ok? We all should be happy with the abundance we have. That isn't the point. We are wired different. It sucks. I come to this site to feel validated. And good for the people that have never felt like shit. You and I don't agree on lots of things which is irrelevant, I respect you and what you are doing. Thank you

Standing. Clapping.

I love how people forget that they chose to come to your site and that they don't have to read or stay or even come back if they don't want to. I like how they also don't get that sometimes you like a post, sometimes you don't, that's life because that's what it's like to interact with another human being who has feelings and thoughts that aren't just like yours. I guess what I'm saying here is that I would be on a rampage if I were you, but way to be for keeping calm and carrying on!

I popped on today to find the blue light you'd posted a couple of weeks ago, as I am having a really hard time with winter already and feeling bad things that I haven't felt in awhile. Anyway, as they say, money can't buy happiness, nor can two cars, health care, or access to the internet. Suffering and pain can be relative, and I'm sorry that you're having a hard time. I hope that you (and I) can dig your way out of it.

I thank you for saying so publicly what is so hard for many of us to say--and for making yourself vulnerable, knowing there are people reading this who feel the right to judge or weigh out your suffering against their own or anyone else's.

I relish your humanity in the many ways you show it on this site--not just in your worst days but also in your best.

But, I hope you feel better soon.

-->Generally speaking, I'm a very lucky person and have nothing to really complain about that wouldn't fall into a "first world problem."
I had the blues after having my baby and five years later still remember how it felt. It's like wanting someone to shake the silliness out you because you can't get enough air in to take a deep breath.

Loving your hair.

I'm crying as I write this, as I was when I read it. My depression cannot hold a candle to the demons that you've shared with all of us but it still hides its guilty, seemingly self-indulgent head from the world and festers without rhyme or reason.
I struggle with how to explain it to my new husband, who treats it like he does menstruation - as one of those weird things I do. I'm so blessed, so fortunate, so AWARE of all of this. And yet...
"...even with everything in its right place it's okay if you still don't know why it doesn't feel that way."
This sentence is everything that I needed today and probably for a few today's in the future.
Thank you for your courage and allowing us all to borrow it from time to time.
-Dee

just because you don't have "the worst" situation does not diminish the feelings you have.

i don't like people...in general...and i really dislike asshats.

yep...Dooce has got it good...i have got it good...just in a different way...most people reading this have it good...we all have baggage, we all have crap...and anyone that reads you and doesn't think you have crap...well that's because they are full of it!

Thank you. I struggle with depression and feel guilty about it about everyday. Well, everyday that is a bad day. They all aren't. It's so hard to reconcile all that I have with my feelings of sadness. Thank you for giving me permission to have an abundance of life's riches and still feel like shit.

You know what, everybody who is human, can get sad, and aimless, and depressed. The rich, the poor. If you are a thinking human being, an introspective person, a person with feelings, you can be happy, and you can be very sad. Don't let the stupid make you feel as if you don't have that right. I hope things start feeling better again for you very soon. Know, there are so many people around who feel very warmly towards you.
P.S. is that lamp thing helping at all? I was looking to buy one for myself...

Thanks for being so honest, Heather. That's the reason why I read your blog and I'm sure that's the reason why so many other people do, too. Keep the feelings coming!

Heather, you are the fucking valedictorian of being depressed. And I know that sounds flippant, but I really, really mean it. I hope that the next time I'm depressed (I'm 22 & I've had two "major depressive episodes," which means it's only a matter of time) I an meet it with the kind of equanimity and grace you're demonstrating. Thank you.

I hope you know that for each person who dares to criticize, there is also a person, who after reading a post like that, spends the rest of the day worrying a bit and wishing the best for someone she doesn't know.

This really resonated with me - I prefaced a complaint about my life with my therapist the other day as "another first world over privileged white girl problem" - and man did she tear a strip off me (in the nicest possible way of course)! Yes, my life is pretty damn good but problems are still problems and I am working on not feeling guilty about having them.