"You'll fake it if you have to"
In the comments of the post I wrote yesterday about the work I'm doing to find my way around this new reality, community member Daisy mentioned that "A Better Son/Daughter" by Rilo Kiley was the soundtrack to her life during a time of difficulty. I immediately went looking for it and then listened to it over and over again at an inappropriate volume. Daisy, I hope you don't mind if I borrow this song from you right now. Thank you for mentioning it.
I'm feeling music more deeply than I ever have. A lyric can send me soaring for hours or throw me against a wall. The notes crawl inside my body and I can feel them humming and expanding inside my lungs. Makes me feel so alive.
Here's that Rilo Kiley Song. There are a few lyrics that may not be suitable for work or young and tender ears, but it's definitely worth a listen. Do you guys have any particular songs that have given you strength when you felt like the simple act of opening your eyes was unimaginable? Please share. (Also, thank you for your comments. I read them all as well as all of your email. Thank you so much.)
But you’ll fight and you’ll make it through
You’ll fake it if you have to
And you’ll show up for work with a smile
You’ll be better
And you’ll be smarter
And more grown up and a better daughter or son
And a real good friend
And you’ll be awake
You’ll be alert
You’ll be positive though it hurts
And you’ll laugh and embrace all your friends
And you’ll be a real good listener
You’ll be honest
You’ll be brave
You’ll be handsome and you’ll be beautiful
You’ll be happy
Your ship may be comin in
You’re weak but not givin in
To the cries and the wails of the valley below
And your ship may be comin in
You’re weak but not givin in
And you’ll fight it you’ll go out fightin all of em
You must have a dooce® Community account to leave a comment.
If you've already registered, login.
If this is your first time posting here, snag a free account.
FM Living
Daddy Scratches said:
Once, at the height of the worst depression I've ever experienced, I listened to Slipknot's "Psychosocial," like, 80 times in row.
I don't know that I'd recommend that for anyone else.
But, hey: I eventually clawed my way out of that depression. And I like to pretend the song helped.
Something more recent and more uplifting? Nero's "Promises" (the Skrillex remix).
Here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZMfhtKa-wo
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 01:45 PM / 1Lauren3 said:
I. Fucking. LOVE this song. Cannot tell you how many times I've blared it and yelled the lyrics while chopping the bejesus out of some vegetables for dinner.
"Cuttooth" does it for me too (durr, Radiohead); and "Where Is My Mind?" by the Pixies, and "Don't Make Me a Target" by Spoon, and "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea" by Neutral Milk Hotel.
If I think of more I'll let you know. LOVE TO YOU HEATHAAAAH...
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 01:44 PM / 2vrcmama said:
I'll be honest, I couldn't even listen to music when my marriage was falling apart, but I did rely heavily on the "fake it 'til you make it" philosophy. Eventually, you won't have to fake it anymore.
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 01:45 PM / 3Fifi Coon said:
Your hair is still adorable. Even on day 23.
We all flounder - sometimes everyday.
Kenny Chesney is my go to music - for just about anything. Makes me feel like I am on a beautiful beach somewhere drinking a margarita.
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 01:45 PM / 4Jamie Elizabeth said:
Tin Foil by Rainer Maria is a good one, lots of yelling "God Damn It!" so that's always a plus...
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 01:47 PM / 5Monkey said:
Well, in my post-break up moments, Ani Difranco's "Dilate" did it for me. Actually, Ani Difranco's music got me through a lot. "Marrow" is another good one. "Independence Day". I could keep going on.
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 01:48 PM / 6JillyMack06 said:
For the love of sanity...REFUSE LISTENING TO THE SMITHS or MORRISSEY. Yes, the man has the voice of an angel...the angel of depression.
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 01:51 PM / 7luv and kiwi said:
Both Sides Now~ Joni Mitchell
Beware...it's one of those songs that you need in order to break apart the remaining pieces so that you can start with a clean slate putting yourself back together correctly.
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 01:52 PM / 8substances said:
I've been listening to White Lies- Death a lot lately. It gets me dancing when I feel like I can barely pick up my legs.
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 01:52 PM / 9janeingrid said:
Hey Jude
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 01:52 PM / 10Jamie Elizabeth said:
Oh, I have more. Boy, do I have more.
Four Winds by Bright Eyes.
Losing It by Belle and Sebastian.
Coughing Colors by Tilly and The Wall
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 01:53 PM / 11LuckIsMyMiddleName said:
Eels is always good music for depression, whether you want to wallow in it ("It's a Motherfucker" and "Agony" are good for that) or look for hope and strength in the midst of it...in which case I recommend "Somebody Loves You":
Woke up with a bang
And a bug on your face
It crawled in your mouth
And gave you a taste of
The good life you left behind
But i think you're gonna be fine
Somebody loves you
And you're gonna make it through
This nagging malaise
Is more than a phase
It feels like a job
But no boss ever pays you to lay there
And think how you'll die
While the tears start to well in your eyes
Somebody loves you
And you're gonna make it through
One more saturday
All alone through the night
You've got to be sure
When you turn out that light
That it's going to turn on again
You've got to be your good friend
Somebody loves you
And you're gonna make it through
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 01:53 PM / 12smjawahir said:
'Blower's Daughter' by Damien Rice.
The attachment to the song was subsequent to an attachment to the movie 'Closer'. I despised the move when I first saw it, but then later, at a time of darkness in my life, I became obsessed with it. Based on a play, the stark, honest, searing nature of the relationships between the characters mesmerized me. Still does, even though I have (hopefully) moved past that darker time.
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 01:54 PM / 13geekjive said:
"brand new day" by joshua radin - it's very full of hope.
It's a brand new day
The sun is shining
It's a brand new day
For the first time
In such a long long time
I know
I'll be ok
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 01:54 PM / 14appelsauce said:
Like vrcmama indicated, when things are really rough, I can hardly listen to music at all. My husband has been known to do interventions when he finds me crumpled in a corner listening to Radiohead.
However. I can ALWAYS listen to Ani DiFranco, and my all-time favorite for hard times is "Light of Some Kind" from the album "Not a Pretty Girl." The lyrics don't match the experience 100%, but the faith in the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel, paired with the gritty instrumentals and the way she seems to be singing with her teeth clenched.... Oh man, that song has always given me strength.
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 01:54 PM / 15poohbeargs said:
In the midst of my current marital crisis, I have been listening to "I Am a Rock" by Simon and Garfunkel quite repetitively. I listened to it on repeat for my entire 40-minute commute to work the other day.
I also rely heavily on the Indigo Girls at all times but even more so when I am in crisis. Some favorites for my current issues are "Love Will Come to You," "The Wood Song," "Hand-me-downs," and "Love's Recovery." These do not, however, improve my mood...they allow me to wallow. If you are in a dark place, these might not work. Actually, "The Wood Song" is sort of uplifting, now that I think about it.
I also enjoy angry country songs about cheating men...but my circumstances are different from yours.
ETA - AND ALSO "Iowa" by Dar Williams, for some reason, is really doing it for me right now.
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 01:58 PM / 16shotsjr said:
i've been having a bit of a hard time myself lately...but i didn't realize how hard it's been until i listened to this song and (seemingly) out of nowhere started bawling. i guess i needed that...so thanks :)
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 01:57 PM / 17pehuff said:
I know Sarah McLachlan standards can be a bit cliche, but "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy" always makes me feel stronger. Definitely one of those songs.
And if I shed a tear I won't cage it.
I won't fear love
And if I feel a rage I won't deny it.
I won't fear love.
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 01:58 PM / 18delpien said:
nutshell by alice in chains. pretty mainstream, i know, but after my mom was suddenly diagnosed with stage iv colon cancer, it was the only thing i could hear for months on end, which i didn't ~ and still don't ~ understand because it had absolutely nothing to do with the heartache i bore. for some reason unknown to me, it touched a place in the depths of my soul, and even when it wasn't playing endlessly on cd (at max volume, i might add), there wasn't a time i couldn't hear it in my head. that one simple song will forever be the soundtrack for an agonizing chapter of my life.
coincidentally enough, mom was in remission when i happened to purchase tickets to see them perform; a week before the show she died.
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 01:58 PM / 19Lauren3 said:
Welp, already thought of another one. This one is for when you feel like doing some motherfucking BROODING.
"Run Myself Into the Ground" by Jessica Lea Mayfield:
Everyone's watching me
and I'm starting to believe
that I can read everyone's mind
That part... oooh yeah, chills.
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 02:02 PM / 20KatR said:
Whenever Mumford and Sons go banjo, I become instantly happy.
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 02:02 PM / 21kittykerri said:
What a great song! It's totally being added to my music library!
Lately I've been holding onto "Swim" by Jack's Mannequin, "Carry On" from Fun., and "These Times" by Safetysuit.
Sometimes I think music is the only thing that can sooth such unspeakable pain.
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 02:02 PM / 22Norabloom said:
Probably one of my favorite songs ever:
Cloud Cult's Pretty voice
http://youtu.be/qMpOhwUTUwc
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 02:04 PM / 23pehuff said:
P.S. I love Rilo Kiley.
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 02:04 PM / 24Norabloom said:
I'm sorry, you asked for songs to give you strength and I posted a rather depressing (albeit beautiful) song. I like Florence and the Machine for making me feel like I can overcome anything.
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 02:06 PM / 25Colgate said:
I've got Hoobastank's Running Away on repeat, but that song is pretty specific to my own situation right now. When I really want to wallow, I'll listen to James Blunt's Goodbye My Lover. I realize these songs don't give me strength necessarily, but listening to them did feel like I was expressing something I didn't otherwise know how to. So in that respect I guess they do give me strength.
As for more positive music, India Arie has some great songs: I Choose, This Too Shall Pass, There's Hope, Good Morning - basically her entire Testimony 1: Life & Relationship album.
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 02:06 PM / 26Lornadoone1972 said:
Depeche Mode is my favourite band, and I can listen to them happy, sad, crazy, indifferent... but my play over and over, turn to song is 'It Doesn't Matter' from the album Some Great Reward.... beautiful, haunting and says it all!
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 02:06 PM / 27Boredom Abounds... said:
All This and Heaven Too from the new Florence & the Machine album is pretty awesome. Picks me up when I need to remember how much I have to be grateful for.
Wishing you the best during this difficult time.
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 02:07 PM / 28WI_Joan said:
4 Non Blondes - What's Going On
One-hit wonders, I know, but it is so therapeutic to be driving in my car with that song full blast and SCREAMING "I SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS - WHAT'S GOING ON?!?!
Lyrics:
25 years and my life is still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination
I realized quickly when I knew I should
That the whole world's MADE UP OF this brotherhood of man
FOR whatever that means
And so I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bed
Just to get it all out, what's in my head
And I, I am feeling a little peculiar
And so I wake in the morning and I step outside
And I take A deep breath and I get real high
And I scream from the top of my lungs,
What's goin' on
And I say hey.... hey....
I said hey, what's goin' on
And I say hey.... hey....
I said hey, what's goin' on
Ooh, Ooh, Oooohh, Oooohh, what's up...
Ooh, Ooh, Oooohh, Oooohh, what's up...
And I try, oh my God, do I try
I try all the time in this institution
And I pray, oh my God, do I pray
I pray every single day FOR A REVOLUTION!
And so I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bed
Just to get it all out, what's in my head
And I, I am feeling a little peculiar
And so I wake in the morning and I step outside
And I take deep breath and I get real high
And I scream from the top of my lungs,
WHAT'S GOIN' ON!!
And I say hey.... hey....
I said hey, what's goin' on
And I say hey.... hey....
I said hey, what's goin' on
And I say hey.... hey....
I said hey, what's goin' on
And I say hey.... hey....
I said hey, what's goin' on
Ooh, Ooh, Oooohh, Oooohh, what's up...
25 years and my life is still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 02:09 PM / 29Firedancer41 said:
Wish I had this list while I was going through my separation/divorce.
For me, I listened to a lot of Sober by Pink and Grey Street by Dave Matthews Band.
- Login to post comments
02.01.12 - 02:09 PM / 30