• cck

    You go, girl.

    I realize that’s absolutely ridiculous to say, but it’s exactly what came to mind. You go!

  • Shoeladee

    Heather. Tough times only show us what we are really made of. I do love & appreciate all of the cute comments that your readers have left for you, but seriously want you to know that I think of you often (and your two babies) and I hope that you continue to get stronger each day! Don’t worry too much about any tears you may shed. As my sweet and very smart boss always says…. “don’t mistake my tears for weakness, they are actually a sign of just how strong I am!” Much love to you and Leta & Marlo!!

  • marymcginty

    some people are just incapable of being happy for other people’s success no matter how big or small. To kick someone when they are down comes from the lowest of the low. Good luck to you and im sorry that you have this extra crap on top of everything else, it’s undeserved whether you’re a “public figure” or not



  • zlionsfan

    Good for you! Mean people can eat it.

  • melbourne dreaming

    THIS is why I started reading Dooce in the first place, a million years ago. You are the person who inspired me to start blogging.

    I must admit I get a little tired of the ‘lifestyle’ posts, but when you reveal your struggle and talk about your ACTUAL real life and emotions? THAT is when I am drawn back straight back in to caring about you and feeling something (other than envy of how great your house/clothes/kids/dogs are). When I read of your and Jon’s separation, I felt devastated – a complete stranger on the opposite side of the world to me. That’s the power of your blog.

    I’m sorry you are going through such a rough time, but I am thrilled that you have reached the break-through point where you can say ‘I’m not afraid of you, haters’, and mean it.

    You rock.

  • mjreinsel

    This reminds me of (a much more personal and hurtful version of a) sports game, when some unsportsmanlike jerks taunt and trash talk the classy team that is going to beat their asses. You win every day that you don’t cave to them. You win every day that you wake up and get dressed and hug your kids. You win because you are a rockstar and an inspiration to so many of us.

    Keep your chin up, lovely. You’ll get through this. Life only moves in one direction.

  • cassidy.stockton

    I don’t give a flying fuck what they say- you are awesome. What you’re going through isn’t easy and not many people have to do it in the spotlight. From our perspective, and based on the tons of comments ahead of me, I’m not alone in saying this, you’re doing remarkably well and are still an inspiration to so many of us. You inspire us to stand up for ourselves and laugh at life’s mishaps. I just wish I could hug you and share a drink with you and tell you it’s all going to be ok. Somehow, it always is.

  • NoodleLiz

    You freakin go, girl! SO thrilled to hear that you’ve broken through that wall. Hell yes you can stand up for yourself. Those who root against you and take the time to publically sling the mud are insecure, envious bitches who aren’t worth your time. And we all know that. People who just can’t relate or just aren’t interested anymore simply fade away unnoticed. Those vomiting vitriolic spew are personally invested, and not in a healthy way. Maybe your shrink would be willing to offer them a group rate.

  • tallnoe

    Man. Why are people so mean?

    YOU ROCK! I’m with @sunnyhunt! Ha.

    And I wish I had your hair. Mine’s come up with this stupid girl, and my cowlicks aren’t helping.

  • lizykat

    YOU *GO*. I love how your voice got stronger with more conviction and power as this post progressed. just wanted to post one more of the many positives you will see.

  • Trasherati

    And THAT is what we are talkin’ about.
    Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke. Or if they can’t process real life, either.

    There are so many people behind you, who realize that we are all a little bit broken. And that’s perfectly f’in’ okay.

  • JuliaMJM

    I’ve been following you for the past 6 months or so, and you are one brave woman is all I can say. Related to your last post, from what you say, facing all those hateful people posting comments may be your mandate at this time, and I commend you, but if you need a break, why not shut off comments for awhile? Give yourself a break to go inward a bit, and take care of yourself. Stop the onslaught for awhile. You know that your supporters are behind you, so you don’t need our words of support. If you do, well you know what’s best then

    I’ve come to care for you, and wish you all the best.

  • Beverly0903

    Very proud of you…..and am doing my happy dance!!!
    Love from Memphis town!

  • quiet june

    You are utterly fabulous and inspiring. That’s all there is to it.

  • jilllovesbacon

    THIS. This is what I’ve been waiting and hoping to happen. The sadness here lately has been killing me (given my own crap going on, it was difficult to read about yours) and this is EXACTLY the boost I was hoping for! It’s weird, wishing so hard for a stranger to please, please, please find strength and happiness, yet somehow you’re not at all a stranger. I simply adore you.

    The fuckers can go jump off a high bridge into a frozen lake.

  • catalinatuvecina

    The most pathetic thing about the hate-mongers is that they spend so much of their valuable energy being jealous and overly critical of others that they have no life left to live. Sad, really.

    I think the posts titled “Hair, Day XXX” are absolutely perfect for talking about whatever is under your hair at the moment. In fact, it would be a great book title. Or at least worthy of a masthead.

    Rock on. Your turn to tap dance.

  • JulieG

    Heather, I love love love you, and good for you for standing up for yourself! You are brave and strong and smart and you can handle everything the world will throw at you today. And just speak up whenever you’re doubting that, because we’ll all be happy to tell you so again and again.

  • LinKelley

    I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
    With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
    It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
    Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
    And how in the world can the words that I said
    Send somebody so over the edge
    That they’d write me a letter
    Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing
    Or my life will be over


    This song seems to apply somehow to all the bullshit you have to hear about and read.

    Don’t forget to breathe.

  • alto girl

    Fuck ‘em all, Heather! You’re amazing and resilient!

  • BarefootCajun

    Fuck ‘em all! So proud of you, Heather, for standing up for yourself. But do try to ignore all of that bullshit. These are the folks that are jealous of you, as crazy as that may sound. Keep facing forward and fight for yourself and your family.

  • ChickWhitt

    Yeah you do!

    Girl power!

    YOu go girl!

  • massbarb

    Go, Heather, go! You are the *valedictorian* of awesomeness.

  • Suz.

    My dearest Heather –

    I know.

    I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

    I KNOW.

    As someone who is going through some amazingly similar, life-challenging experiences right now; from a fellow cancerian July 19ther, one year your senior; whose POV has always resonated with yours like a never-ending symphony of typanies…

    Fuck them. Be brave. And keep on keeping on. You’ll find your way.

  • Elizabeth_L

    Doesn’t the day you finally stand up and say what you really feel or really need feel good? Why does it take some of us so long to learn that in our lives?

    And seriously – there are actually people that are rooting for other people’s marriages to fail, or mental health to fail or conniving to somehow harm their kids? I really cannot fathom that.

    I still am taken aback when I realize there are people in the world that are so insecure in their own selves or jealous of the things they perceive others to have that they gain some sort of pleasure from or try to create negative events in others lives. I mean in the last 4 years I have been laid off, endured 13 months of unemployment, found a job at 50% of my old income so I live paycheck to paycheck and no longer save for my future, my home is underwater, found out I have a chronic disease and a relationship ended leaving me single and childless at 40 – are there days I think – really, couldn’t my life be easier? wouldn’t it be nice if I had this or I had that, but I have yet to project those hard times on others and wish for their demise. People just make me sad.

    Sorry – got a little carried away :-) Keep on kicking ass and doing what is right for you and your family!

  • floridagal73

    Fuck ‘em! I find it interesting that people have anything to say about anyone, much less to criticize or to wish harm on a person they’ve never met. But who cares, right?! Fuck ‘em!

    Ok, there, I got to use the “f” word online. :)

    Hang in there sister. The rest of us who love you are still here and holding on strong. Keep standing up for yourself.


  • The Girl Who

    Fuck. Those. Creepy. No Life-Having. Bitches.

    ***Me MOONWALKING out of here***

  • Chabbydubbe

    you are amazing, Heather. i know you hear this a lot, but you have no idea how much your writing has influenced me. i am also an ex-mormon and ex-BYU student and suffered from crippling PPD after my first was born. that was when i discovered your blog 3 years ago and spent night after night after my babe went to sleep reading your posts from the very beginning. that was my favorite time of day and was the only time i felt like someone else had been where i was. there are so many vicious and nasty people in this world and most of them like to hide behind a computer. i’m so sorry people are being so awful to you, especially after how much work and effort you have put into your blog and to all of your humanitarian work. it is apparent to anyone who may stumble across your site (or your amazing book ‘it sucked and then i cried…’ which has a permanent home on my bedside table ) that you are a truly self-less and lovely person and a wonderful mother. fuck the haters. you rock.

  • jenwilson

    Where the hell did I put my TEAM HEATHER t-shirt? Damn.

    ps. That thing about Leta’s homework and writing that you were proud of her? So freaking rad. One of those parenting moments you never forget.

  • Cas418

    You know what I have read your site since you pregnant and eating doritos. I have laughed with you, cried with you, and now I stand and say fuck them with you. I am so proud of you Heather. I am flipping them the bird right now in your honor!!

  • nordcq


  • lucidlotus

    The bajillion of us that read your words on the daily have come to love you because you lay it all out there. Why should anyone expect any less of you while you’re going through one of the worst life stressors? I say get it all out, no festering allowed.

    I see a lot of bravery in you and I certainly appreciate any woman who can get up and say fuck you to the haters, trolls and bullies.

    Doing the moonwalk in solidarity. Albeit very, very poorly.

    Also, your hair is fantastic.

  • delaney042

    Hi. I just wanted to say a belated thanks for the sentiment of this post and many others. Ibid to a bunch of stuff that folks before me said. AND…I like the hair.

  • mizburd

    I agree with your therapist (not that it matters). You’re doing very well. If you decide to run nude through Temple Square, argue with an imaginary friend while wearing a chicken costume *and* waving a dildo (or whatever you said), especially if you decide to do all those at once, please alert the media! And as a friend of mine is fond of saying, joke ‘em if they can’t take a f–k!

  • mizburd

    Oh, and thank you for spelling “minuscule” correctly.

  • Yolanda

    Fucking fuck them. SO fucking fuck them. Anyone cheering for anything other than a happy ending to this current situation deserves nothing more than your middle finger. End of story. Fuuuuuucccccckkkkkk Them.

  • TurdFerguson

    Some people just love to see other people fail. It’s like my Dad used to say.
    “Opinions are like butt holes, everyone has one”. You go girl!

  • Rachel_K

    I agree – fuck them all. I can only imagine what the idiot peanut galleries are saying – I don’t read any of them and have no desire to. You are awesome. Good thoughts being sent you way.

  • TxSuzyQ

    How humans can delight in the pain of others is beyond me. The only thing I can figure is that they are miserable and can only get through each day hoping there is someone on the planet more miserable than them.

    I agree. Fuck’em!

  • zimmy

    I don’t normally leave comments….I’m just a silent stalker ;) …..but after everything you’ve been through recently, I freaking LOVE your attitude right now! Bravo!

  • nroliver

    I know you don’t need our affirmations right now, in your moment of triumph and strength. But good job Heather. You’re worth it. Everyone is.

  • Marianne

    Good for you, Heather! Love you ~ xxoo Marianne

  • Kristinahnah

    I have been reading you for years and for real just got off of my virtual ass to join your community stuff all sos I could say you are beast, and the essence and beauty of your shit is that you keep it real. And I more than appreciate an appropriately timed swear word or 5.
    Thanks for preachin’ it! I think you’re a rock star, if that means anything.

  • preppypitbull

    Fuck the haters. I think you’re awesome and you inspire me as a woman and a mom. I hope the haters just stop and let you get on with your life. You’re making great progress from what I read, and I really hope things get even better from here. Thinking of you from outside Philly.

  • Tanis

    Kudos to you, keep it up.

  • MelissaJ

    i’m pretty sure you are stealing my mantra: fuck ‘em!

    good for break throughs…good for you!

    all the rest…FUCK ‘EM!

  • sherylwx4

    Your therapist let you go, during a seperation? Whether your “well” or not, that is very suprising…
    Usually we insist on continual contact throughout
    significant life changes…

    Best of luck with your new found freedom- from your therapist- not Jon.

  • Apepito2011

    Heather, you tell all of those cheese-dicks to suck it.

  • TheSkyIsOverrated

    Miserable low-life nobodys. Fukem. All.

    You are an amazing person.

  • raddit

    Here’s sending a shitload of love from a total stranger. And I am on almost exactly the same grow-out schedule as you from a *very* similar cut. This shit is painful. But you look fantastic. Fuck the haters. You have been an inspiration in my life for the past 7 years.

  • Tirzah

    Yessssss!!!! I’m happy that you aren’t holding back, though I know it isn’t always easy. Inhale love, exhale hate!