• big dog momma

    Yay for moon walking! Good job!

  • kj82898

    REALLY??? It’s sad someone would waste the time, energy and space to write negative things about a situation that has no affect on them. Stay away from those sites! It’s bad energy. They are goin down one way or another and you and your family will rise above it all.

    We gotcha back sista!

  • dwcasmith

    WOOP WOOP!!!

  • MadelaK

    I think you’re amazing and it’s unbelievable to me that you’re able to share what you’re going through with the world. So fuck them indeed.

  • jenonearth

    Haters can suck it~!

  • signot

    I have never loved you more :)

  • alana517

    whaaa? No meltdown?! Now how am I going to beat you down in order to feel better about myself? A jerk as usual Armstrong. Thanks for nuthin’

  • starrashton

    High five sister! I love ya! F em all.

  • exante

    HOORAY. I am posting my first comment to say: HOORAY.

  • biokitty78

    So happy to see your eyes looking so much brighter! In your last “hair update” photo your eyes broke my heart. Because your eyes can’t hide what is inside of you, and if those peeps had a brain they could see how strong you are just from looking at this picture. No words needed.

  • Wallydraigle

    Seriously, who ROOTS for a marriage to fall apart, or to have children taken away from parents, or for someone to have a nervous breakdown? That’s pretty sick. Even if there were someone I hated, I wouldn’t wish any of that on them. Who are these people?

  • annebrev

    I am very sorry to hear about the waves of vile stupidity breaking all over you. I will never truly understand why people think it’s ok to behave that way.

    I experienced I minuscule version of this awhile back, in the comments section of a newspaper article about your current situation (a Salt Lake City paper, I believe) when I had the temerity to defend you against a bunch of cruel, asinine remarks. I was attacked for doing so – and it bothered me more than I ever thought it would. I wish you strength and the power of knowing that you are loved in the face of so much ugliness. You certainly do not deserve it.

    All the best to you and your family.

  • TaraZamara

    yea! your hair looks lovely!

  • Meauxzie

    If this were the 90s, I’d say, “You go girl.” But, I’ll say the more updated version: “F*ck yeah!” Your hair looks awesome as does your future. The key to weathering these life events is to surf the wave and try to let the emotion go – pretend you’re a bystander to someone elses life: what would you tell them to do? There will come a time where the future you envision for yourself is your reality. Not to get too Eckert Tolle-y on your ass, but try to keep “the thinker” (hey Judgey McJudgeowitz, aka “my brain”) at bay and just go with it. Okay, enough pop psychology for one sitting. Get down with your cute hair and just know that what Dan Savage says is true: it gets better.

  • ThePeanut

    Virtual high five, lady!

  • Suz_and_EE

    And that is why you totally fucking rock Heather! I’m sending along with some good juju a big fist bump.

    Keep your head up….women carry the weight of this world on their shoulder.

    By the way, I’m doing a virtual moonwalk for you :-)


    BEST. POST. EVER !!!

    Now to implement this thinking in my OWN life! It IS hard for former GOOD LITTLE GIRLS!

  • cpchrisman

    Screw all those people…You just keep on keeping on, loving those kids, negotiating the best you can with Jon and keep writing! WE love you!

  • suebob

    You should make Dooce bookmarks so all the haters can use them in their journals that they write in about how life isn’t fair and everyone is so mean to them especially that one girl.

  • jessiCat

    High Five, Girlfriend!!!!!!! (yes, that high five deserved all those exclamation points!)

    Proud of you, and glad to see that sparkle coming back to your face. Fuck the heartless haters. We’re rooting you on from all over the place!

    Hugs & Smiles!!!!

  • vanvactorm

    Feels good, doesn’t it? There are really no words to describe what it feels like to really believe the words “I’m worth it, and deserve exactly what I need and what makes me happy in life”. Congrats!

    P.S. I would secretly (oops, cats out of the bag now) like to slap you because when I had hair as short as yours a few years back and grew it out, I looked like a horrid bieber-ish wannabe baby dike (I can say that because I am a lesbian) Oooh boy…looks like my homosexual agenda is popping up again, there I go mentioning my gayness in public. Except my age doesn’t allow me to be a baby anything. Damn.

    High five on a stellar grow-out period thus far!

  • Sabine

    Reading this makes me want to listen to the fourth song down:

    (Ignore the first half of the song, very loudly bellow the second.)

  • Truthful Mommy

    FUCK ALL OF THEM! I’ve been seeing these hateful assholes rip you apart about stuff that is none of their business. People are jealous douche canoes.Keep doing what you do. There are more of us who think you are awesome than the assholes who hate. Those Mother Effers just seem to like to talk a lot more and a lot louder.
    You are allowed to be human and it just happens that since you write about it, stupid people think that it is actually their business and they are entitled to have an opinion.
    Stay strong! You are amazing. You really should link up your post to my Throat Punch Thursday. (LOL, I know you would never do a link up but it would be perfect.) I do it every Thursday because there is so much asshatery running rampant in the world and people just need to be Throat Punched. http://www.motherhoodthetruth.com/seattle-school-shooting/

    Chest Bump!
    XO Debi

  • kjmacgibb


    You should start donating income from their traffic to an anti-bullying charity.

    If they were smart they would be silent, this is only making you more popular, but you can’t fix stupid!

  • Elspeth

    at the risk of sounding terribly 90s… you go girl!

  • KathyB

    Congratulations, Heather. Might be your best graduation day ever, you know except for lack of party and celebration. But, proud for you.

    I’m always friendlier and more open from a distance. Hey, you included a hair pic, premise met:)

    I comment so rarely that I am always happy when my password still works. Check in often though.

  • squill

    Big, wet, open mouthed tongue kiss for you! I couldn’t be prouder of your use of fuck in this post. Attagirl. Fuck em.

  • evesuzanne

    Hooray for you! Good luck with the hair. Give Chuck a hug for me. I love that dog.

  • Dawn

    Heather, I have only been a Dooce reader for a few years so I am really at a loss as to why so many people across the Internet dislike you. What I have read here shows me a real, living, breathing adult who owns her behavior. There’s no smugness about you. You share painful private things without turning it in to a sideshow. I hope that the pain your family is going through now is as short lived as possible and that when you all emerge on the other side it’s a beautiful day. Your writing makes me laugh all the time. Thank you.

  • melizerd

    You were born to be brave!!!

    I am a lot like you I think. I’m really great at standing up for myself online or in my head or my house but out in the real world I get lost in the “you should be polite” mentality.

    F them, F them all! Stand up for yourself.

  • painterdoll

    Standing up for yourself is beautiful, Heather! So happy for you that you’ve made so many breakthroughs. You are a beautiful, vibrant, wonderful person and all the haters are just jealous that they can’t have what you have!

  • maticki

    yaaaaaaaaaaay! f..k them all!

  • Janbo


    Let them all take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut.

    You rock. Hard.

  • DebbieQ

    Big fist bump and high five to you!

  • Amy P

    I’ve never commented here before, mostly because who am I to have an opinion on your life? But after reading all of the crappy things people say and do, I thought I’d better go get myself a user id so I could stop by from time to time to let you know that I think you are awesome. And I’m sad to read about your sadness. And encouraged and inspired by your strength.

  • Mme Wong

    Heather. You. Rock.

  • Sara Carling

    Love you Heather. I have been reading your blog for years. I’m terribly sorry for what you’re going through. Ignore all the crap that’s being said about you. You have no control over their ignorance & self loathing. Mean spirited people want to bring everyone down with them. But what you put out there comes right back to you. Imagine how awful their lives must be.

    I went through an ugly divorce 3 years ago, and while I know you’re not yet sure where you’re headed, I will say that everything will work out. A year from now you’ll look back and be amazed at how much you’ve grown. And how life is good. Different, but good.

    Keep kicking ass & being unapologetically honest.

  • mdavis79

    I want to high five you and give you a hug and buy you a bourbon, in that order, but in the absence of those, a resounding HELL YES! will have to suffice. Your hair looks fucking fantastic, btw.

  • sunnyhunt

    Good for you! *ass slap*.

    I totally need the name of your therapist now that she has an opening.

  • Kbee


    I can’t imagine you’re reading all the way to the bottom of 280-some comments, but I just had to say: Who the hell are these terrible people? What is wrong with them, thinking someone else’s pain is hilarious or even any of their business?

    I’m glad you are finding the strength to stand up to it more often. It is always frustrating to hear people tear down someone who is writing honestly about her feelings. I only recently realized that these people do so because they lack both the courage and the intellectual ability to examine their own lives honestly.

    So take heart in the fact that there are normal, compassionate people out there who wish you and your children well.

  • ladyisatraveler

    You are amazing and so brave! I hope that I can be more badass like you someday :)

  • LittleWeeOne

    Doing a virtual tequila shot in your honor.

  • amydpp

    I have been there, keep on, keepin’ on.

    Although, my ass is kind of big, and if you really could delete SOME of it, I would be most grateful.

  • fabnelly

    Congratulations on standing up for yourself and telling the bullies where they can go! You are a strong and amazing person.

  • sizzlesays

    I’ve never understood why you get such backlash. I can only attribute it to small minded, jealous people. I read you because you’re funny and honest and I like that those traits in people. Anyone who would wish you more ill during such a painful time is a complete asshole. Good for you for telling them to go fuck themselves!

  • fizzlesnit

    You go with your bad, getting-it-together self! And your hair is looking all edgy and fantastic. Two wins in one post!

  • josephine

    WHOHOO!! Hells to the yes this was a great post. Good for you! Love the hair too. :)

  • sarahfromthenorth

    Amen, Sista!

    (and you’re correct I would have never imagined, having read your blog for over 8 years, that you wouldn’t stand up for yourself, but sure am glad to here you’re learning to!)

    I sure would be glad to hear of you getting back together with Jon though, I have a feeling you would both be better together than apart. And I know for fact that your kids would be better off. BTW .. do you watch Private Practice? Lot’s in there that’s paralleling your life right now. Well, except for the lesbian couple having twins.

  • JaneyQDoe

    Wow, people are dicks. I mean, I already knew that. But still, wow. If, unlike me, you didn’t give up punching people in the head for lent…

    Anyhoo, if you can’t tell fuckwit strangers off, who can you tell off?

  • kara_v

    I’ve been reading for a long time and literally never taken the time to comment. Today, I took the time to create an account specifically so I could make a comment.

    And I must say, DAAAAAAAANG! Good for you. Haters will always be haters. Forget them and just do you.

    Hope things start looking up soon.