• Dawn

    Heather, I have my fingers crossed so hard for you and your family. All the best to you.

  • Knittingfrog

    I was amazed you had had the strength to carry on so long already.

    You are an inspiration and a daily reminder to take nothing for granted…good or bad…but to always stand up for yourself and what you believe in.

    Take a break lady, you have more than earned it, and sending you many good vibes that your dark skies clear up again soon!

    We will be there when you come back :)

  • artmeetslife

    It is what it is. Gather your self, woman, we will be here when you are done.

  • sleighly

    keep on keepin’ on, heather. you the woman.

  • EliBailey

    I know not everyone’s separation/divorce experience is exactly like mine was, but frankly I’ve been amazed at how well you seemed to be doing. It WILL get better, and you should take lots of breaks and say no to as many things as you can right now. When you’re right on top of all the stress and all the tearing down of your life as you know it, it’s enormously traumatic. You have to have enough time and distance to rebuild and have enough good memories built up between the trauma and the present, if that makes sense. I’m glad you’re taking some time and trying to focus on positive things. What helped me the most was just having people to talk to who cared, and hugs. I visited a small church one Sunday, and a short, motherly-looking woman came in and hugged everyone because apparently that was her thing; she was a hugger. When she hugged me – this woman I’d never met before – it wasn’t just a hey how are you, it was a sincerely caring hug, and I just about lost it. It still makes me almost cry to think about it, and how much the niceness of strangers (and family and friends) helped so much. I hope you’re getting lots of hugs.

    Oh and also I enjoy the photos of Cami because I find it amazing when anyone can pull of wearing stuff like that in public. There are parts of her outfits I do like, but I keep hoping for one I’d actually wear in its entirety. : )

  • Scott Morrice

    My heart goes out to you-it really does! You need to read Bruce Sanguin’s recent post titled Finally Comes The White Flag at: http://ifdarwinprayed.com/finally-comes-the-white-flag/. It is good for a couple of reasons: 1. it reassures you that you are not the only person in the world who faces this kind of darkness (and, personally, I always find that somewhat reassuring), and 2. his way of handling his own issue is not a bad template. I wish you the very best!


  • marinemom

    Hang in there! Take the break….we’ll all be here when you return.

  • megrit411

    Take that breather and give yourself time to focus your energies on you and your family. Take some deep breaths. Beat the crap out of a punching bag. Scream in a pillow. WAtch a really sad movie and cry until you can’t cry anymore. And EAT CHOCOLATE! I know you’re on a healthy diet and good for you but I’m pretty sure cavewomen would indulge when their hearts were broken.

  • AlliKat

    I’ve been where you are. When the smallest little things can break you or when the smallest little things can show you a tiny pinhole of sunlight to move towards.
    Being tired, being depleted and being lost in a sea of holy wtf is really fucking scary. The ten foot thick bunker walls that you create to protect yourself have crumbled and you have no ammunition left. THAT is when you realize that maybe you just need to pick up one little brick and sit behind it for a while. It’s enough. Then when you are stronger, add another one and, well… you know where this is going. But this time, you will notice, the walls of your new bunker don’t have to be as thick or as time consuming to rebuild. The new walls let more sunlight through yet protect you all at the same time. In your new bunker you are safe. The tiny pinhole will turn into a warm glow of sunshine all around you.
    The brick I hid behind wasn’t made of concrete, because those need a real explosion to come crumbling down. No, my new brick was made out of tissue paper because it was seriously all I could lift at the time. The tissue paper brick was much easier to punch little holes to let the sunlight in. My new bunker still kept me safe, but allowed me to see through it and prepare myself for whatever was heading towards me.
    Pick a color, any color, your favorite color or a color you feel it’s time to embrace. The color of your tissue paper bunker doesn’t matter, but the fact that you get to choose the color does. I’m quite certain that concrete only comes in an ugly shade of gray and does not provide the added protection of glitter or sparkles.

  • Zut Alors

    Hope you get a chance to just breathe. Please take care of yourself. Sending you creepy internet hugs.

  • becaru

    Well, yeah, who wouldn’t be exhausted in your shoes? Your readership’s behind you, and I hope that your commercial sponsors are too. Best to you!

  • Wollgood

    A year ago, I was in a troubled marriage that I believed had no hope of recovering. Today, I’m not, my husband and I have clawed our way out of horrible darkness and despair. But I was prepared to leave it, that’s how bad it got. Whatever happens with your family, I wish you strength and comfort. I presume doing what you’re doing took and takes incredible bravery, and your life will be better for it, and your girls will be better for seeing it.

    I was compelled to write after reading the monetizing the hate for the first time. WOW. I just had no idea.

    Take good care of yourself.

  • Maggles

    Take your time, Friend. We all love you!

  • mleah

    Ok I’ll click on every page of Monetizing the Hate for charity but I will not read one word of that trash. Let go of the hate, you sad, sad people.

  • LDD

    Remember: You are special. You are a loving person and mother. I can’t even wrap my head around people saying those hateful things….though I am happy to click for charity (damn, that cute mirror I want keeps showing up).

    WISHING YOU ALL THE BEST!! Sending positive thoughts your way, Heather.

  • soojeegirl

    I can not believe the hate some people harbor. There are millions who love you. MILLIONS. I wish nothing but the best for you and your family.

  • Pixie

    I caught you on the Today Show, via video and no offense, I could see the exhaustion in you…compared to the other times I’ve seen you on video. Your body couldn’t be shouting any more loudly-and if it was you wouldn’t want to be at that point. So take that break. Chill. Relax. Sleep. Cry if you need to. Do eat really good food as well. [I saw someone suggested that].

    BTW: I frankly love the posts you’ve done lately, esp the pics of Cami, the girls and the dogs. I love to see what Cami is puttin-on-her-bod, cause it gives me inspiration, makes me go hummm and makes me smile. Plus, I love to check out your posts: ‘What I found while looking around.” All that, in addition to your fabulous writing. Reading your blog rounds out my day and I love to come visit and ‘see’ all the surprises.

    I wish I could give you a hug. Take care and I’ll be sending positive vibes your way….and I’ll be checking in-as I usually do.

  • hth717

    Hi Heather,

    In regards to music… have you heard Sharon Van Etten’s new release, “Tramp”? There’s a track on there that’s been quite therapeutic for me as of late; perhaps it will provide a similar comfort for you:


    I sincerely hope this helps, or at least provides a brief respite.


  • CatK

    I’ll be here ready to read whenever you’re ready to come back, too. Take your time, we’re not going anywhere, just wishing you well. Hang in there, mama.

  • cynsmith

    “No matter what happens in life, be good to people. Being good to people is a wonderful legacy to leave behind.”
    ― Taylor Swift

    Everything that the haters/bullies say reflects so much about themselves.


  • santa barbara

    I wasn’t going to leave this comment because it sounded creepy to me, but this post changed my mind. Last Thursday I saw Radiohead, and when Thom sat alone at a piano and played Codex you instantly popped into my mind. And I wished you peace of mind. Whatever you need to do to get there, do it. If you never blogged again, you’ve already done so much to help and support so many. Don’t put any guilt or pressure on yourself. “You’ve done nothing wrong…”

  • Kari68


    It may not seem like it now, but it’s going to get better. You are going to be ok, and your kids are going to turn out great. I went through an awful separation and eventual divorce. Even though it was my decision to leave the marriage, it was still incredibly devastating. I think some people just don’t get that.

    In spite of all of that, my daughters (now 21 and 22) are absolutely spectacular people. I could not be more proud of them. I know your kiddos are going to be fine too so try not to worry. I know it is easy to carry around a lot of guilt regarding the kids but try not to. They are going to be just fine.

    I hope your break from blogging brings you some peace. Your readers will still be here when you get back, no matter how long it takes.

    Take care.

  • jenwilson

    Oh, definitely take a break! I know how mentally/emotionally draining a separation can be, and I cannot imagine going through it PLUS living my life publicly PLUS doing hardcore workouts PLUS raising two beautiful little girls PLUS travelling PLUS whatever else life throws at you.

    I quite like the posts you do about Cami. They make me smile. I love the way she dresses, not that I’ll be dressing like her any time soon because I have yet to see you post a photo of her in sweats. ;)

    I hope you find some refreshment and peace during your short break. I was just reading through your monetizing the hate thing and it made me ill and I’m so sorry that people say things like that to/about you. Not one word of it is true.

    Oh! And I saw your Today show segment and thought you looked/were adorable.

  • Heather too

    Hey, girl. This is your blog and you can do whatever you want. You’ve been taking a lot on the chin lately, and a break from feeling compelled to act “normal” and work while your life is akimbo is certainly within your power and right. Fighting through all this chaos while keeping your children on track is a tough job, even without depression. So take a “mental health break”. We’ll be here when you come back.

  • momof8

    I wish you peace and love. Take care of yourself. We’ll be here.

  • Interrobanged

    I can’t remember you ever taking a REAL break from posting…good lord, woman…take a vacation! More than a week, if you can. I daresay that we the readers will all still be here if you need to disappear for awhile. Take care of yourself. You deserve a rest.

    Please, please take care of yourself. You are loved (non-creepy internet love, of course).

    P.S. As I said in a community post, I love the Cami photos! I think of her look as “whimsical fraggle,” and her batshit fashions make me smile. Besides, she sounds like a badass friend. Which you deserve.