• KellyLR

    oh yes, the terrible twos start at three. my daughter had a knack for throwing extreme screaming tantrums just as we or someone else was leaving…soo humiliating! threats of spanking, time outs and no movies until shes a grandma did nothing to stem the tide.. i am sure my friends left saying under their breath ‘we are NEVER going to play with THAT kid again…’ until i realized they were most likely breathing a sigh of relief that their child was not the only one with original sin!

  • SueBHoney

    And then they turn into teenagers…….

  • girlplease

    Ahh yes 3 year olds.

    Mine is 3 and I’ve heard:

    “Go away”
    “No mamma, you go live with grandpa and never, ever, ever, ever come back.”
    “I am not coming to YOUR birthday party ever, ever, ever again.” (He’s big n emphasis)
    “No mamma, I will not take a nap. I’m throwing my bed away.”

    And the classic:

    “Damn it! What? War Machine says damn it. So I’m not supposed to say damn it? Why can’t I say damn it. Dominick at school says damn it.”

    Again, damn it.

  • Sully

    Oh man. I remember those days. My boys are 14 months apart. The younger never went through this, but the older one did.

    Picture this.

    I’m at Walmart and the tantrum starts at the garden center. I keep walking and he picks himself up runs to catch up and throws himself down again. The entire width of the store. I was horrified and people were staring and I just kept walking like I didn’t notice the little satan chasing me and throwing down every so many yards.

    He never did it again. PRAISE!

  • Shana in Texas

    Hang in there – four is quite lovely! The hardest part of parenting is taking a deep breath and realizing it’s just a stage in preparation of an even harder stage to come. That’s the scary fire on the horizon!

  • erinwelch

    OH MY LANDS. Forget the terrible twos.

    My darling, turned-3-in-January Lincoln has turned into a hateful, hitting, smacking, toy-throwing hellion. He now routinely acts like one of those kids I always self-righteously swore “My kids will NEVER act like that!” before I had kids. Ouch.

    I feel your pain, and sorry, but I’m glad I’m not the only one going through this!

  • jenwilson

    Three IS the worst. My second daughter, who just turned five, was exactly as you just described Marlo. She did not want to be left behind, and would stop her tantrum and yell WAIT!!!! but if she was almost killed, she DID NOT CARE. That’s your problem, MOM! I’m going to sit here and MOCK YOU. My first daughter was a relatively easy and very sweet three-year-old and did not prepare me for the treachery of her little sister.

    My son just turned one and I’m hoping that boys skip the awfulness that is three. A girl can dream, right?

    I will send calm-three-year-old thoughts your way.

  • SKarountzos

    OMG. I was trying to explain this to another mother yesterday. My son might as well have turned thirteen when he turned three, for all the back-talk we get from him. The other day, I carefully explained to him about sharing and being nice to his brother and then said, “What did mama just say.” He crossed his arms and said, “YOU SAID NOTHING!”

  • slappyintheface

    Just give it about ten more years … then you will be begging to have a three year old again … TEENAGE GIRLS ARE EEEEEEEEVIL !!!

  • HeyAves

    Funny, my general theme lately has been about what giant assholes 3 year olds are. Except my little darling won’t be 3 for a month and a half. She’s an over achiever.

    I hear from a friend whose mother is a child psychologist or counselor or something that teens and toddler are going through similar development processes, and what works for dealing with toddlers and preschoolers works for teenagers also. So the good news is we get to do this alllllllll again in another 10 years. And! We’ll have experience!

  • sweetpotatopie

    That, right there, is why I read you, Heather. You nailed it: made me laugh aloud and find comfort in the knowledge that 3 really IS as hideous as I think, and then some.

    blah blah blah. ;)

  • Janice

    I look at the photo of a sweet, dimpled child and can see the evil evolving. I think you’re gonna need to deMarlo the snakes.

  • jan001

    “Blah blah blah.” LMFAO!!! And I don’t use that acronym lightly!

    I was the driver who nearly had a heart attack after missing a running kid by 2 feet. Thank god I was going slowly (parking lot and all), and suddenly out from between two cars that were both taller than he was dashed a little 2-3YO kid, right into my headlights. I slammed on my brakes – did you know you can slam on your brakes if you’re only going about 15MPH? – and within half a second there were his parents, arms about 10 feet long reaching and clutching for him with understandable looks of terror on their faces.

    It was in that instant that I made a firm decision that summed up my plans for my own kids, if I’d ever had any, at that age, and it can be summed up in one word. “Leash”. And screw those who judge.

    More recently, my god-daughter’s 3YO daughter hss been learning socialization skills in day care. She’s getting there but not every day is a great day. Her mommy picked her up the other day, buckled her in, and as they drove away, she looked into the mirror and saw thunderclouds over her daughter’s head. Trying to lighten the mood, she chirped, “So, how was school today?” The answer: “I am SO not taking any questions right now.” /spit-take/

  • poopinginpeace

    I see the light at the end of the tunnel! My youngest is a year older than Marlo and we will be out of the this horrible year soon enough. Granted, she has not been as bad as her two older sisters were during their 3′s but still, the whining alone can make you want to leave them at the bus station. Good luck! On a different note, I hope you have a Happy Mother’s Day and I wanted to you to know I gave you little shout out on my post today. http://poopinginpeace.blogspot.com/2012/05/word-to-mothers.html

    I posted this today and not on Sunday so to stand with you in the observing the Every Mother Counts on Sunday and not doing anything. Thank you for all you’ve done for me and every other mom out there. You are an amazing woman.

  • smithie1996

    3 Year Olds: All the annoyance of two with the cuteness of two stripped away. Then multiply the annoyance by 1,000,000. Worst. Year. Ever.

  • Sonicwitch

    My 21 year old daughter still laughs remembering when I put a leash on her at Disney World when she was three. She understand why I did it because she knows what a bitch she can be at times.

  • Petri Dish

    Whoever came up with the phrase “The Terrible Two’s” is a dick and knew nothing about “The Asshole Three’s”.

    My simple, quiet, obedient, creative two year old turned into a little shit the day he turned three and I was just baffled. At three they have better communication skills, they form opinions and they realize that they can either make or break your day with a full on tantrum. I love my kids but I am NOT looking forward to my 2 yr old turing three next year.

  • Rhonda Raasch

    I am raising my granddaughter (who will be 3 in July) and you just described her perfectly! I am 52 years old and I have a lot more patience with her than I did with her mother. However….Some days I wonder if I can do this. just when I start wondering she says or does something that melts my heart. This too shall pass Heather. Hang in there.

  • Natalie Green

    I call it the fucking fours (possibly don’t read this bit: The Phase can technically spread out longer than a year).