• Laura Jones

    You made me laugh. What a great story.

  • Kirsten Sorensen

    So funny! Our dog did the same thing – entire bag of flour pulled off the counter, dragged all over the kitchen and into the backyard, the phone call when like this “your dog ate a bag of FLOUR, Yes, plain flour and now looks like he has battling a severe substance problem…CLYDE! CLYDE! seriously stop eating it now!” and flour was added to the list of things that we could never turn our backs on.

  • http://www.facebook.com/debdistante Deb Palmer-Distante

    Words utterly fail me. Probably because I am still laughing hysterically. WTH, Chuck?

  • Kymberly Mills

    I love that your mom was wearing an AVON shirt.

  • Poinskinator

    Once my dog dug through my purse while I was visiting the ladies room. She found a box of sweet tarts wrapped in a plastic bag, which was in another bag, at the bottom of my gigantic purse. I came back not 30 seconds later to a dog with legs crossed like a lady, delicately helping herself to sweet tarts. She looked up with a face like, “Ah how lovely to see you! Please, would you join me for tea?” It’s not flour, but still. Dogs can be ridiculous in a very short period of time.

  • cabert

    This whole story was hilarious, but this comment was messed up. So according to your logic, if Chuck is hungry, so he should eat more, right? Well my dog loves to eat cat poop. He would scarf up cat turds all day long if I let him. According to your logic, my little epicurean should be dining on feline feces to his heart’s content. Thankfully, wiser heads have decided that the cat’s litterbox should be removed from the dog’s access and that the dog should only be fed nutritious, healthy, dog food in the proper amount. Amazingly, the proper amount is not “whatever he wants.” The proper amount is a guideline you can easily find online by searching for “how to evaluate your dog’s weight.” There is an entry at Dummies dot com, in case you need extra help.

  • Dana

    Loved every bit of this story. Thank-You!

  • rebecca

    someone please phone 911, i’m choking and i can’t catch my breath from laughing, hysterically!

  • rebecca

    just read “schmutzie’s and jennifer clark’s” comments, i’m gasping for my last breath

  • http://www.facebook.com/loosegroovin Debra Lynn Fitzgerald

    This was the best post ever. First I was just happy that Leta joined in the cookie goodness but then throw in Chuck busting out the flour. Heaven. I.LOVE.YOUR.A$$H*LE.DOG

  • Beth

    He looks sorry.

  • http://www.facebook.com/CourtneySBKeeler Courtney Bower Keeler

    My dog will attempt to eat anything in a plastic bag. I once found he had rifled through my purse and pulled out a ziplock bag of individually wrapped teabags. He apparently realized his mistake, but not before biting a large hole in the bag.

    He also ate at least a full pound of brownies which someone left in a bag on THE COUCH. That is understandable on his part, but who leaves brownies on a couch in a house with a dog?

  • Bryan

    Oh how this makes me smile. Once my dog found two boxes of chocolates
    under my tree, tore the packages open, and had her very own chocolate
    party while I was away. I came home to find little brown wrappers strewn
    all over my house. I’m sure it wasn’t as delectable as flour. hahaha! I love CHUCK!!!!!

  • Court3ney

    I died laughing. That was awesome!

  • americanrecluse

    I didn’t actually think it could get much better than Leta’s spot on perfect gorgeous face/posture in the “bored” photos. Clearly I forgot about Chuck.

  • Nancy LaRoche

    Awesome story! Love that your mom is wearing a ~2001-era 3Day shirt!

  • Debby

    I have never laughed so hard in my life. I am literally crying right now. Your life is awesome!

  • rebecca

    i think “Chuck” mistaked the flour bag for a Cracker Jack Box, the prize always settles at the bottom and Chuck was not giving up

  • Lauren

    this calls for a dogshaming.

  • barbthebrief

    Tell Leta that math geeks grow up to be great cookie bakers. The precision you can practice trying to get each piece to be uniform is quite outstanding. Baking is SCIENCE as much as anything we do. Cooking is ART; baking is SCIENCE.

  • Nancy Smith

    This is great, because now that we are on the subject of crazy things dogs eat, I can share my hilarious story too. One Christmas Eve we left the house to attend a party and I left 8 paper plates full of homemade cookies ( a wanna be Martha Stewart am I) on the dining room table. I planned on delivering them to the neighbors the next morning. When we got home that night I discovered the table was bare and my German Pointer had eaten every single cookie including most of the paper plates. He did leave behind the cellophane and ribbons. (Yes, they were all wrapped). The surprising part is that she didn’t even get sick, but my neighbors were sad

  • rosie

    Thank you! I needed this!!

  • Leatitia

    I thought the same thing!

  • Heather

    Chuck could’ve been an asshole with my 2 labs Jed & Stella as they too pulled the flour trick. With one of those big bags of flour bought JUST for Xmas cookies as it was too big for the cabinet space.One of the 2 got on the counter and pulled it down, and before I heard anything it looked like it had snowed in my kitchen, and I now had 2 white labs instead of black. And,just to make the experience more awesome, a reminder: flour + water = paste. It took me so long to get the kitchen clean, and for weeks you’d find little patches of dried paste in the oddest places. So, since we know they’d have sufficient fun, can Chuck have a playdate?

  • Funky Kim

    Thank you so very much for the chuckle! As I’m looking at my living room covered with tree bark from the tree my neighbor is cutting down, landing large branches in my backyard for my dogs to drag in one bite at a time.

  • kate c.

    Oh dear! Funny story though! sorry you had to clean up such a mess!

  • http://www.facebook.com/catlin.reckord Catlin Reckord

    I think..Chuck is really a cocaine addict. It helps him stay awake while he writes his haiku’s in solitude.

  • Amy Rockwell

    You are kind of the most hilarious person alive. I love reading your blog!

  • Dorothy Logan

    Dogs will get into the stupidest things FOR NO REASON. My husband came home recently to find that our dog had decided that a tube of Desitin, which had been in her reach for quite some time, was a perfect chew toy (nevermind the fact that she refuses to play with any freaking toy we’ve actually gotten for her), However, this meant that my husband also came home to two piles of poo and two piles of vomit as a result of the consumed butt paste. Delicious.

    At least when she ate my bacon chocolate (*shakes fist in the air*) we were able to make her puke on our terms – outside on the patio. She puked all over the patio because she wouldn’t let me keep her in one place, but still. Better than carpet. And when she went after my husband’s Christmas candy last year, we decided not to bother with making her puke since it was mostly milk chocolate and peanut butter and instead got awesome sparkly poos for the next week because she didn’t bother unwrapping them. Something about a lack of opposable thumbs.

  • Dorothy Logan

    OH. And she got into my post-partum bathroom trash. Twice. That was grosser than anything else.

  • Krissik

    I think the only thing missing from your recipe is “no farting” at the end.

  • http://twitter.com/MsMcMadness Wrinkled Mommy

    Brings back memories of that time my triplets got in the pantry and dumped all pourable substances in one big pile. :)

  • Courtney

    Random comment: I’m a Courtney, and the truth is that I’d never name my kid Courtney. If I had to choose a name of my generation for my kid, I’d choose Sarah, but then I wouldn’t because I grew up knowing too many Sarahs.

  • Elana’s Pantry

    You always make me giggle, but this time I laughed so hard at the photos of Chuck dusted in flour that I almost choked.

    Thanks for reminding me to make Peanut Butter Blossoms –a bunch of friends have asked me to make a Paleo-esque, grain-free version and I’m going to get on that stat.

  • Tina Beveridge

    My roommate’s dog ate a stick of butter once. The digested product was epic. Dogs are jerks like that.

  • ai

    Oh my God, that was the funniest thing I’ve read in a long, long, longity long time. My stomach hurts. Coco 2016!

  • de nada

    Dogs live longer and get less cancer when they are kept at a lean weight. It’s science. My dogs would eat Christmas ornaments if I let them.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000251238806 Robin Cole

    You know, dogs do things like this because this is what dogs do.

  • Ger

    This may be my favorite thing you’ve ever written! Thank you for sharing.

  • Lee

    A) My 8 year old is a “Courtney” – so they exist and B) thanks for a great story. can’t wait to bake with my girls for the holidays.

  • Amanda Greer

    I thought Chuck was supposed to be the smart one.

  • http://twitter.com/MyBottlesUp nic

    my guess is that your next post about chuck will include constipation of some sort.

  • Heather Wenzel

    my dog would weigh 300 pounds and would look like a overfilled beagle balloon with little basset legs stick out at the sides. She would roll around the wood floor for locomotion, if given the choice. She just likes food. She would eat an entire cow and still knock over the trash can for a butter wrapper.
    Don’t leave shitty comments on one of the best posts on Dooce in a very long time.

  • Kerri F

    Oh, man… I love Chuck! Of couse, I don’t find antics like this as cute when my cat Remington does stuff like that. He’s a cross between Coco and Chuck and is an asshole. The only reason he’s not dead is because he’s so damn cute, as most assholes are, and he adores me, probably because of all the wires and electrical cords I “feed” him.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000429747565 Maggie Spitler

    OMG! Thank you! I soooo needed that laugh today! But why Chuck, why??! Your dog is awesome:)

  • diane – d3 voiceworks

    i’m sure you’ll appreciate this tidbit i read the other day in cook’s illustrated, paraphrasing: to make your indentation in your cookie (aka thumbprints — the indentation AND the cookie name), use a CORK.
    you might have a spare lying around, no?

  • Jeanette

    My question was “does Dooce’s mom own any casual attire that DOESN’T say AVON?” because as the World Leader of Avon, she would certainly promote AVON all the time ;) (By the way…I do love that about her!)

  • Margaret Lukes

    Awwww… but just look at his face! He’s like, “I’m really sorry mom. I thought it was cocaine. Or maybe even a new alien form of life trapped inside that invisible barrier that needed the death-shake to free it. I will now go drink out of the toilet to clean my tongue.” I have a policy about play dates. They are only allowed with kids whose moms I’m friends with. Because the “play date” is merely a vehicle for mommies sitting around complaining about our husbands and drinking wine. And then I drive them home.

  • skipsy

    Oh, Chuck! You are so sweet and good that we forget you are a dog. I understand why; you had to prove your doggy status just to keep your Dog Card. It’s all good Chuck. It’s all good.

  • Lexie Acquara

    We have guide dogs that come from a guide dog organization that has done nothing for the last 70 years but breed and train guide dogs. According to them, many breeds, and labradors in particular, do not have the brain mechanism (my wording, I am sure they said this in a more science-y way) that lets them know they are full. Our labs would eat an entire 40 lb. bag of dogfood if you let them. We have a golden retriever now, and he is not nearly as bad. (although I still have to keep the bathroom trash away from him…ahem.) the fact that Coco did not go for the flour and Chuck (who IIRC is part Lab) illustrates this. Do you honestly think Heather starves Chuck but not Coco?