• rebecca

    ,,,i suppose marlo also created the heavens and earth in 7 days. god love your child. she is a doll and oh so humble,,,

  • http://www.facebook.com/connie.veneracion Connie Veneracion

    When my daughters were Leta’s and Marlo’s age now (mine are already in college), we kept a notebook where we’d write each other notes everyday. And they’s write things like calling me a Superwoman and used superlatives that I wondered where they got those ideas and whether I really deserved the accolades. I loved them all the more for those notes, anyway. They’re not as showy after they got older (though I don’t think they love me less) but I’ll always remember those times. Too short, the period when daughters are that demonstrative with words, but the memories last forever.

  • rosenleaf

    My 4-y-o instructed her Montessori teacher (her MONTESSORI TEACHER!) to write that the reason she loves me is because “I take her to the movies and give her lots of candy”, neither of which is remotely true. Did I mention she had her Montessori teacher write that?

  • http://twitter.com/bleach226 Breanne

    Haha, happy Mother’s Day Heather! You really are epic… even if Marlo is lying about the rabbits.

  • MissCaron

    I seriously Laughed Out Loud. You will look back at those cards when you’re 80 and cherish the love of your wonderful daughters. Great job, Heather!

  • KristenfromMA

    Even with the wild left-over-from-the-80s hair, your mother was/is a dish.

  • Jodi

    So sweet!

    My vote is for a little Rob Zombie on the last day. In a few years, she’ll probably be listening to it anyway!

  • inimitablej

    I vote for playing something by Mary Schneider, Australia’s queen of yodeling. Leta, you’re welcome :)

  • JRSF

    Does that mean the only true thing on Marlo’s card is that you effectively take her to visit Dane? Hilarious. Also, if you DO bring home a rabbit one day for Marlo to pet, you have to promise to film the video of Coco figuring out there is a rabbit in the house. In fact, that’s the only thing I want for Christmas is that video. Also: Is that a Dawahares ensemble in your mother’s WSL photo? All of a sudden I miss the Hickory Ridge Mall in Memphis.

  • Rachel Sea

    Have you ever read Pat the Bunny with her? Maybe that’s what she was talking about. Or you know, maybe she’s just 3. They make up all kinds of weird shit.

  • http://kyoodled.blogspot.com Annie B (Kyoodled)

    So apparently I need a new eyeglass prescription, but I thought Marlo’s said you read boobs. I wondered if that was somehow related to reading palms.

  • Heather Armstrong

    DAWAHARES, HOLY SHIT. I haven’t heard that word in years.

  • Heather Armstrong

    We do read boobs. She’s read the whole series, in fact.

  • Sandy

    When my son was in third grade, we were invited to his classroom to hear essays the kids had written. Our son was too embarrassed to read his in front of everyone so the teacher read it for him…she said that it was too good not to be read. So she starts reading about the time we took him to the zoo in California. WTF, we have never even been to CA, much less the zoo. So we stood there listening, appearing to be great parents for taking our son on this wonderful adventure. We told the teacher the truth afterward…all the while my son looks as perplexed as we had been. On the way home he wanted to know why we told the teacher we had never been to the California zoo. Well son, because we haven’t! Turns out, he was thinking of the Columbia Zoo…in South Carolina, that we had taken him to. Sometimes it is much easier to not take them anywhere…much less confusion!

  • http://www.greenveggies.blogspot.com/ Mrs. GV

    My nephew, who just turned 5, brought his Mother’s Day “questionnaire” home from preschool. The best part? “My mom always ________” which he filled in with “knows when I’m picking my nose.” Priceless!

  • Julie Brown

    My coworker got a “Mother’s Report Card” for mother’s day. In it, they were “graded” on beauty, various skill sets, etc. She received all A’s… except for cooking (she doesn’t cook). She got a C in cooking with “Needs improvement” as a comment.

  • Kelly

    Songs for the embarrassment of children, I smile just considering it. Truly a noble use for music nerdery and the sort of thing that makes me miss working in record stores.

    For your consideration:

    Jerry Reed- When You’re Hot You’re Hot
    Jeanne C. Riley – Harper Valley P.T.A.
    The Statler Brothers- Do You Remember These?
    Mrs. Miller- Hard Days Night
    Psi- Gundam Style
    Up With People Theme Song- Up With People
    Diamanda Galas- Let My People Go

  • Shannon

    I have told my kids since they were old enough to understand that their only job as kids is to be safe, healthy and happy. I actually teared up at reading ”she is my hero and keeps me safe” line from Leta. Good job, Heather. Good good job.

  • Debra

    Song. The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia. Now that shits embarrassing. Maybe you should also sing & act it out. Cuz this ‘lil sister don’t miss when she aims a gun.
    Maybe do the whole last week of school!!!!!

  • Debra

    Marlo the pathological liar. You might be misinterpreting. She might be just gonna grow up to be the valectorian of blogging. See how her flare for the dramatic could be useful!!!??? Much love……

  • Debra

    Marlo could also be relaying dreams. When I was her age I told my dad that I saw mommy kissing his best friend. Before he went completly off his nut he had the wherewithal to interrogate me. He was a cop at the time.
    Dad: when did this happen?
    Me: last night when I was sleeping I saw them. (He &BFF were out on patrol together)
    Dad: where were they?
    Me: they were sitting on top of the refrigerator.

    I’m pretty sure he thought I was a path liar also!

  • Konstanz Ross

    Thank you SO MUCH for making me laugh tonight!!! It’s a welcome distraction from all the pregnancy crying and puking. Yay being a Mom!!!

  • amy milstein

    Marlo, I feel you. When I was in 1st Grade I wrote that I spent my summer raising a nest of baby rattlesnakes. :-)

  • http://www.facebook.com/steffi.wolter Steffi Wolter

    Leta’s first card has me in tears. you are her hero. because you keep her safe. what else does a mom want?

  • Jessica Ellerbrock

    Best song to blast would be Van Halen – Running With the Devil.

  • http://www.facebook.com/allyssa.wheatonrodriguez Allyssa Wheaton-Rodriguez

    The fill-in-the-blank card my 5 yr old son gave to me had written on it that I’m 48 (I’m 36). My husband had him scratch it out and write the right age before he gave it to me on Sunday, but then he told me. 48?! Seriously?!

  • WebSavvyMom

    –>Last day of school song could be what I was blaring driving into my parking garage this morning, “Let me clear my throat” by DJ Kool.

  • Nicole B.

    So so cute & funny. Love this

  • http://twitter.com/celiaspace Celia Romaniuk

    I’m crying with laughter. Thank you, Heather.

  • http://twitter.com/seriouslysassym Necole Kell

    Homemade gifts are the absolute best.

  • Angela

    Those Mothersday gifts are precious! In my bedroom are hung two drawings my girls Made in kindergarten, nowadays a week before Mothersday I have to give them money and the exact name of the bathfoam I want …:) by the way may I ask you where Leta found that worlds association print?I want to make one for me all by myselffff…..
    Angela

  • Amelia E

    Dear Heather,
    I’m a wee bit concerned about you and the girls. I’m concerned your income may be shrinking and there’s SO much to pay for in this world. College will be coming before you know it,,,,,there’s formal dances and music lessons, and teenage CARS to be purchased!!!
    I’m concerned mostly because this site is sponsored by your butt!
    And your bum is so very TINY!!!!! How much money could that BEEEE?
    That can’t be much income,,,,,,,can it?
    Thanks for your continued blogging. It’s been amazing to watch your life change and develop just like your girls. Your writing of late has seemed to be reminicent of the beginnings of this journey and it leaves me smiling and laughing out loud. You’ve such a talent spinning words into cones of cotton candy deliciousness. I love cotton candy. That’s why if I was sponsored by my butt, I’d have more money than you!
    My bum is so much bigger!
    (you needn’t worry about using too many exclamation points in the future. I believe I’ve just used every last one up in this comment)

  • Kacy Kirby

    Gold digger is the song you should play on the last day of school!!

  • Jamie McGinnis

    My younger brother used to ask “do you remember when I used to be a cow?” wha??? That kid must have had some vivid dreams or memory of a past life or something. I wonder if that’s the same with Marlo.

  • http://www.facebook.com/alisha.deckniehaus Alisha Deck Niehaus

    My vote is “Panama”-Van Halen for the last day of school. Or you could go with the obvious choice; Alice Cooper’s “School”s Out”.

  • badkittyuno

    My dad used to tune to a classical station, roll the windows down and pretend to conduct in the carpool lane. I think it was a ploy to make me ask to walk to school. It worked.

  • 50 year old mom

    Laughed out loud by the end. So reminded me of cards from own children, how much they notice that you don’t realize. My favorite line from poem when my daughter was in middle school, “She thinks Horatio’s a hottie.” This was back when Horatio Hornblower was being shown on Masterpiece Theater. That was her nod to my love of the costume drama.

  • Nicki Chandler

    LOVED the Hickory Ridge Mall. Compared to Mall of Memphis, it was like Disneyland! Dawahares….takes me back!

  • Sheri

    I pick “I Believe” from the Book of Mormon soundtrack

  • http://www.facebook.com/krista.erickson1 Krista Erickson

    song suggestion for last day of school – the ceiling can’t hold us, macklemore and ryan lewis

  • Killian

    I love the Mother’s Day cards. Marlo’s creativity and imagination is going to make her teenage years interesting!

    I have to say, though. As amazing a mother as you are, it’s kind of an asshole move to let her just pick up and leave stuff at the store. Other people have to clean up after that, and while you might think it’s “just one little thing”, the more parents who think this is cute, the tougher it is for the people who actually work there. And yeah, I’m well aware that I’ll get lit up for daring to say anything against your parenting, but as the mom of kids who have to do that job? It sucks for them.

  • Stephanie

    Dog Hairs! I did a prom fashion show there when I was in high school. I wore a skin tight long gold sequined dress. This was in Clarksville, TN.

  • Wende

    “School’s Out” by Alice Cooper??? I’m still waiting for a card from my 8-year-old. It “wasn’t done” on Mother’s Day.

  • onthegomom

    Marlo… Oh Marlo. I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. That girl never lets me down. Whooeeee.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lisa-Guidarini/1448798422 Lisa Guidarini

    Devil Went Down to Georgia. Or Whitney’s I Will Always Love You. Total mortification potential.

  • k-sara-sara

    The Dawahares in my hometown in, ahem, Kentucky was still in business until about 3 years ago. True story.

  • Stacy Pagano

    I have a migraine today and nothing has made me feel better, so I decided I needed to go to your site and read some posts. This post made me LOL and for that I’m grateful. You rock Heather! Thanks for sharing yourself and your family with us.