• http://k-fabcrew.blogspot.com/ Kathee

    :::snort:::: Two kids. I had four. They made it to adulthood and I didn’t go to the looney bin. I had boys too. Woke up one night as one boy threw the other down the stairs. The only girl I had acted like mom to everyone including me. Football, Dance, Tai kwon do, gymnastics, homework, soccer, baseball, cheer…..I need a nap just thinking about it. Last week my youngest took me to get my colonoscopy. I know, right?

  • kmpinkel

    That is a lot of homework for a 1st grader. Mine brings home reading each night and that is it. I’m tired just thinking about it.

  • EducatingJackie

    Literally laughing out loud at my desk.

    I have a Marlo too, but mine is a boy.

    They are wonderful, and amazing, and exhausting!

  • Marie McDowell

    This. This is why I love you and your two girls! It may be further in between posts, Heather, but OH MY GOD, they are worth the wait!!!!!!!

  • misszoot

    Your youngest and my youngest should NEVER EVER EVER MEET because I’m pretty sure their combined energies and “creativity” would cause the apocolypse.

  • RzDrms

    Um, what?!

  • Jennifer Cafferty-Davis

    Laughing so hard in my office right now, I’m sure my co-workers are getting concerned.

  • Dana

    I don’t KNOW Margo!

  • Richard Morey

    I love your rambling rambles.. :-) And you DO look like Piper from Orange is the New Black. I never thought of that!

  • Courtney

    I’m so glad for this post, Dana – I knew I knew the reference, but the synapses just weren’t making the connection! Once I figured it out, I had to go back and read them both in their smarmy voices. Thanks for the laugh!

  • theresa

    ” bowls of water lining the porch so that every mermaid Barbie has her own pool” made me laugh, what a perfect detail. glad to see you posting more frequently!!!!!!!!!

  • stumbletrip

    Are you okay?

  • Miss lee

    Somebody is gettin’ their groove back…

  • http://mycheapversionoftherapy.com/ Jos

    LOL, Marlo is magnificent.

    My 3 year old who is in pre-k just brought home a stuffed giraffe last night, and *I* have to write in the damn notebook about all of their activities for the next three days because she can write a sum total of 5 words, and my husband was all WHY THE FUCK DO WE HAVE HOMEWORK ALREADY? #SMH

  • Jennifer

    My thoughts exactly. This is a manic rambling spiral into a not great place.

  • Lauren3

    I read about your butt on the internet.

  • Becky

    “There is nothing more important to me than those two girls and giving them the emotional foundation they need to enjoy their childhood…” LOVE LOVE LOVE

  • Lindsey Joy

    I just really really like and appreciate you. That’s all. Oh! And thanks for continuing to write.

  • sabbiesmom

    OMG I’m peeing my pantss

  • stumbletrip

    I mean this so earnestly: please, Heather, get hold of a therapist and a doctor.

  • Neva Bin Simpl


  • greenplanner

    Is it rude to wonder why you haven’t slept in three days? That just seems very worrisome.

  • Anne Lieder

    You’re doin’ it. And you’re doin’ it hard. Face it, if every parent on this planet wrote down the things they say in the course of a day, we’d all be shaking our heads wondering if they’re okay. I mean, who’s said, “STOP LICKING THE TV!” besides me?

  • Weeding the Garden

    It is, I’d assume she hasn’t because she is a single mom….that’s the life. When your not doing, your worrying about how you are fucking it all up. This is one ten minute block of her day and you think you can psychoanalyze her. Get over yourself, but I know, you commented because you care.

  • Rhonda Cates

    Welcome to the wonderfully crazy world of Dooce. Obviously your first time reading her.

  • Richard Morey


  • shaunTH

    Obviously you didn’t read the second paragraph. She is a prophet.

  • greenplanner

    I know hundreds of single parents, and I can’t think of any who have ever mentioned going without sleep for three days. Do you know any? But thanks for putting me in my place! Cheers!

  • Noelle Swafford Buttry

    Could it be hyperbole? I’m thinking she hasn’t really “not slept in three days”. I’m thinking it was just an expression.

  • Noelle Swafford Buttry

    I’ve always thought she looked like Kate Winslet! Do you ever get that one, Heather?

  • AJS

    This. THIS IS PARENTING. And BLESS YOU woman for being a single mom, traveling, working and making those girls feel loved and heard. DO YOU BOO BOO! Sorry about being a face trampoline. It’s the worst. ;)

  • AJS

    BAHAHAHAHAHA. Best. Gif. Ever.

  • My Marlo is named Lindsey

    You are one of few that can make me laugh so hard. I don’t know how you do it, but I love that you do. Thank you.

  • Haddie

    Why so much homework for a 1st grader? That is way too much! There is research to show that 10-20 minutes per night in the first grade is about right.

  • http://oddlovescompany.com/blog/ Katybeth

    FUN. And you are right, they remember these moments movies in bed on a school night, mermaids, and being with you forever – And the teacher. No words. EXCEPT the teacher has to read all those first grade pages, now doesn’t he/she? Poetic justice. First graders should be learning to cooking their Mom’s hotdogs not doing math problems on an I-Pad. I digress too.