so its the canadians who assign gender to inanimate objects????

I just want to say that Dooce is just classy as all heck for not being tempted to mention that she currently has 198 comments - no that's not a misprint - on yesterday's post. And to follow it up with such a tight & cleverly-written piece like this. *doffs her cap* Back-to-back gold, Dooce!

(Though what it says about the rest of us that yesterday's topic could provoke so much discussion, I'm not sure...)

Granted, no teenager gets where what's her fuck is without a huge amount of record label puppeteering, but wouldn't you rather have the pigtail and retainer crowd inspired to write and create instead of simply taking orders and dressing like hoze? Give me a dozen Fiona Apples over Britney's melons any day.

Avril does not write her own stuff!!!! This group of singer-songwriters called Mercy Street came into our office to perform their new song, coincidentally also called "Complicated," which they co-wrote with a pair of guys who coincidentally turned around and began writing with this young Canadian tart named Avril Lavigne. There's just way too many coincidences there for me not to think that strange things are afoot at the Circle K. Additionally, someone I know tried interviewing Advil Latrine at the KIIS Jingle Ball this year back here in your forsaken land of Los Angeles and said she was a total whiny little bitch. Which is basically what she is in her songs as well. She's no musician. She's a manufactured pop star.

I thought Avril WAS a boy!

If you watch the video for 'complicated' and wait until the very end, she does this petulent facial expression that makes me want to throw my TV out the window. Go watch it (but turn the sound off), you'll see what I mean.

Now wait, is (*ouch*) she the one (*ouch*, already) dating Dustin Timberland?
(Sorry. Got one of my tits caught in my love beads.)

I've officially added her to the group that needs to be hermetically sealed in a dark room with no windows together: Christina Aguilera and Carrot Top. May they fester in their own vileness forever.

Avril who?

Bring on the red leather space suits!

Eep. As -french- canadian, I somehow feel the need to defend my people.

Avril as a girl's name, as far as I know, would be the very unwanted child of french roots and of those people who find themselves compelled to assign months' names to animate people. April? May? Eesh. You guys are as much to blame for the horror that is Avril.

(and for the record, I really like this site. It's nothing personal.)

You know what's worse than Avril? Walnuts! I sure do hate walnuts!

Seriously though, I would love to go back in time so that my 17 year old self could kick the living "complication" out her while yelling, "How punk are you now, beyotch!?" The fact that she doesnít know who David Bowie is just shows her age ñ granted I knew who Bowie was at her age ñ sheís just a kid making grimaces thinking itís cute. There is nothing new or inventive that this girl has done (on any level) which would merit any sort of recognition or praise.

To add insult to injury, however, is the fact that Rolling Stone featured her in the "Women that Rock" issue. That is a slap in the face to the women who were left out or had only one or two lines or paragraphs next to their name. Women who rock are Patti Smith, Joan Jett, the Donnas and the like, not this little girl even if she can strum one or two chords or her guitar.

Personally, I could care less if her name is Avril, Agril, Aspril she is still a nincompoop prop for the sanitized portion of the music industry. As far as Brittney, at least she is an honest to goodness slutty chick because she WANTS to be, and that takes more chutzpah than wearing a fucking tie sans collar.

Avril? Reminds me I need an Advil.

Avril = French for April... and you know how those Napanee hick-townies like to culture themselves up and pretend they're part of the minority instead of just accepting their plain old mungie-cake, white-trash townie Ontario identities... I mean, did they forget that French or "Anglais"... they're still just Canadians and will not become honorary Europeans no matter how many accents they put around their letters...

My son's Nickelodeon mag came yesterday, and guess who is on the cover??!! There is an interview with her inside. Here are a few tidbits:
Q: What do you miss most about your hometown, Napanee, Canada?
A: I miss the pizza. My favorite pizza place is called La Pizzeria. It has the best pizza in the world.
Q: What was the first song that you wrote?
A: It was called 'Can't Stop Thinking About You.' It was a cheesy little love song. I was fourteen. It was actually pretty good.

For more hard-hitting questions and answers, go buy your own copy.