love that. so does the dog.

p.s. much like asparagus pee, grape juice poop is weird smelling.

...or when your cats finally learn the difference between YOUR bathtub and THEIR litterbox.

yay! congrats, dooce. ;) as someone who has gone through the few-days-without-pooping experience, i know exactly how you feel.

i am on the atkins diet (induction phase) for 14 days (i'm now on day 9), and as you may or may not know, it's a low-carb, hi-protein diet which means lotsa meat, notta lotta veggies. i'm like totally serious when i say when i pooped this morning, it was only the second time in 9 days. somehow i remain happy, even though it was rather short and i didn't even get to finish up all my avantgo pages whilst on the loo.

Exactly, Dooce. Simple, mundane things become of paramount importance in their absence. Like, being able to breathe out of your nose is an extremely underrated pleasure - until, of course, one cannot do so.
As to your particular private misery, I can only offer these words of hope and consolation: Metamucil mixed with orange juice. Godspeed.

Ha...good one dooce!

I have a good friend with some pooping issues, and when we went to Burning Man together in 1999, she simply could not poop the whole time we were there. Which was four days. I wanted to cry for her.

For those eager to get REALLY into their poop, I recommend the Arise and Shine cleanse. Woo. What poop that is!

Bring back "How to Charm Me/Annoy Me" etc. That was so great.

dooce: yes dear, a glance at your archives illuminates my error.

please accept my apologies, but i really needed a lead in to the colons with fur comment.

i could not agree more.
one of my friends asked me recently if i would rather never take a satisfying shit again in my life or give up orgasms.

it was a hard one for me to answer.

that's how much i love pooping. or perhaps more accurately - how much i love the absence of the bloating, discomfort, irritability and general grossness that come along with chronic constipation.

my kingdom for a poop....

Ah, I just pooped like 2 minutes ago. I was actually just talking about this with my mom. I'm usually a mid-afternoon pooper, and according to Ma, I always have been. I cherish regular poops, and I never realized how much until I caught a wicked nasty stomach flu where I wasn't pooping regularly. I was either pooping 6 times in an hour or NOT pooping for 4 days. I just like pooping.

can i just say, i LOVE you people.

I saw Marilu Henner on a talk show once (I think it was Letterman), she was plugging her diet book. Ever since then I cannot stop thinking (and noticing) every time I go, that she said they should be 'floaters, not sinkers', if you were eating properly.

My favorite poop colloquialism: Dropping the kids off for swimming lessons.