Things I Miss About Los Angeles
Andy Dick.
Christmas shopping outside in flip-flops.
Accurate forcasts that come not in blocks of 7 days but in blocks of 365.
Being surrounded by people with actual pigmentation.
Running stairs in Santa Monica with Tori Spelling's boobs and that shirtless Moroccan body-builder who ate small children for breakfast.
Happy hour every hour.
Having my boss show up to work an hour late with a massive case of the munchies.
Running into someone who knows someone whose male cousin has slept with Tom Cruise.
The daily 4am helicopter fly-bys crashing the ecstasy party on the roof of the building, and the subsequent scuffling of Kenneth Cole boots getting the hell out.
Gigantic, perky breasts everywhere.
Knowing people who will get into heaven not because they believe in God, but because they are prettier than God.
People who know how to be pretentious without pretending they aren't being pretentious.
Bathing Chuck and having him skid like a race car across the hardwood floors head first into the wall of the living room in our old apartment.
Fellow drivers who aren't afraid of dying.
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FM Living
Terry said:
Sounds like hell.
01.30.03 - 08:41 AM / 1Erma said:
I'd love to go Christmas shopping wearing flip-flops, but crazy New England weather hasn't let me do it, or at least do it and let me enjoy it.
01.30.03 - 08:53 AM / 2feelafel said:
Sadly, LA pretention is often imitated (although as you say, is never replicated). I wish people from other places would get their own thing. Like Ottawa. I'm from Ottawa. Windchill is our thing. Nobody does it better. It was -39 with windchill earlier this week in Ottawa ... that's the same in F as in C. So, what's your thing, places other than LA?
01.30.03 - 08:58 AM / 3chukee said:
And those flocks of noisy, little, green parrots everywhere...
01.30.03 - 09:00 AM / 4Brandon said:
Trader Joe's looks like WAY to much fun. I think I'd be very well stocked indeed if I shopped there. Also, why does everyone have this big infatuation with HUGE breasts?? I mean, I suppose natural ones are ok, but fake ones kinda turn me off. To the point where I'm thinking the smaller the better. At least then I know they are real.
01.30.03 - 09:00 AM / 5Buckosmack said:
Trader Joes says it all. We have them, we gave them birth and no matter where else they show up, they're still ours! All ours.
"This town is our town, it is so fabulous. Bet you'd live here if you could and be one of us."
Straight into Heaven for me!
01.30.03 - 09:02 AM / 6bonnie said:
My first post on the dooce site has got to be this one question: Do you tweak your photos to get that nice velvety, fuzzy, warm look, or is your camera just that fucking awesome? I've always admired how most of your digital photos have that above mentioned rich quality, but I may have missed any previous mention you've made about what type of camera or tricks you use.
01.30.03 - 09:05 AM / 7Summer--the other ex-mormon said:
Wow. Andy Dick, boobs, Tom Cruise and gay sex, the munchies, perky breasts, ecstasy parties, and Trader Joe's. What's not to miss... sounds like fun to me! It's definately a 180 degree turn around from the Stepford environment you're in now.
I think we should all send Dooce little care packages of sand, tostadas, and heat lamps so she can build her own mini-LA in the back yard. You could get those life size cardboard standups of all the celebs and have a fabulous party.
Then again what would the neighbors think?? *gasp*
01.30.03 - 09:11 AM / 8Summer said:
Feelafel--Arizona. It's like 82 degrees out today. I'm wearing shorts.
01.30.03 - 09:13 AM / 9the mighty jimbo said:
yeah...i like those things about socal too. but you did trade up in some ways too.
free range, organic, hormone and additive free breasts.
air you can't see.
clouds.
seasons that are not linked to tourists, advertising and new fall releases.
more guns, but less people actually using them.
drinks that cost less than 15 dollars.
housing you can actually afford without having to sell a script, your body, crack, or your soul.
01.30.03 - 09:15 AM / 10Jory said:
Here in Utah, Dooce, we try to bring a little bit of flavor country home with the Film Festival -- a poor substitution, but hey. I totally saw Andy Dick at the Egyptian. No puking midgets though, er I mean, his entourage.
And Summer? What would the neighboors think? You *know* she'd be called as the mutual coordinator within 10 minutes of that shindig, for sure.
01.30.03 - 09:22 AM / 11helenjane said:
yesterday i saw this platinum lovely leap from her jag to hug a stuntman and she seriously had one canteloupe on each side of her chest.
they were fucking works of art, those breasts.
viva LA!
01.30.03 - 09:27 AM / 12rosebaby said:
yeah! the driving! 70mpg bumper to bumper! that may be the only thing i miss. and the mexican food. and the beach.
but san diego for chrismas every year solves some of that.
you'll end up going back to visit and realize why you left, and not regret it.
probably.
01.30.03 - 09:29 AM / 13Jen said:
Is it really sunny there all the time?
01.30.03 - 09:36 AM / 14George said:
I miss Chuck, especially when he would come over after American Idol and his mom and my mom would drink lots of wine and sit on our stoop enjoying the warm weather.
Things that Chick misses about LA;
Animal Crackers, Runyon Cyn. Puppy play group, sprinkler heads, the beach, his lookout window
Sara and Brad and mostly me. Bring him back....
01.30.03 - 09:49 AM / 15chukee said:
Jen, it is sunny most every day. This is why I left mossy Seattle for dusty LA. Lush and green is great, but if you have S.A.D. you won't appreciate it.
01.30.03 - 09:50 AM / 16pbert said:
Why DID you leave it?
01.30.03 - 09:50 AM / 17sx70.blogspot.com said:
trader joes. i've said it before, i'll say it again--the trader joes on third and la brea has the greatest percentage of hotties per square footage of food purveying in probably all of north america.
having said all that, we miss your LA posts, and we're happy to see this one.
01.30.03 - 09:59 AM / 18brittney in nashville said:
Yes, gigantic, perky breasts are far superior to gigantic, perky hair.
01.30.03 - 10:00 AM / 19ex southern babtist said:
Ahhh, gotta love LA!
01.30.03 - 10:01 AM / 20rosebaby said:
hey! britney at sundance!
http://pagesix.com/pagesix/29226.htm
01.30.03 - 10:09 AM / 21robby rist said:
i dont care who you are, you gots to love big boobies. especially they way they are presented to you in LA. for you viewing pleasure. actually everything is like that here. like LA is one big TV show. weird. i just realized that im cousin oliver.
01.30.03 - 10:18 AM / 22Kate said:
Is it bad that the only thing I buy consistently, every time I hit up Trader Joe's, is their peanut butter cups? Those things are like Turkish Delight for the Southern Californian.
01.30.03 - 10:24 AM / 23Summer said:
Jory you are SO right. And assignments would immediately go out for which people could sign up to bring a "sweet" or a "salt" dish... and lots and lots of green jello with grated carrots in it... and the casseroles! Oh the casseroles!! I totally forgot.
01.30.03 - 10:24 AM / 24Some Guy said:
The year I moved to SoCal it rained through part of January and most of February. A local said it was the most rainy "winter" he could remember. It's strange though, even when it rains out here it's brighter than it was on a normal day back in Pennsylvania. The only thing I miss is thunderstorms.
01.30.03 - 10:24 AM / 25Cros said:
The best thing about L.A. is that there is always the potential of something bizarre and interesting happening.... L.A. is such a large blob of dislocated people, most of whom have abandoned thier home towns for "something better", all huddled together in one spot, that just by the law of averages, like a million lost monkeys banging on a million sunbleached typewriters, something interesting is bound to happen just about every day....
Oh Yeah, and there is a lot a fake boobs too.
01.30.03 - 10:31 AM / 26pbert said:
I order the ribeye most times but man, that porterhouse sure looks appetizing. The ribeye always ends up costing less, AND I get to enjoy every bite.
01.30.03 - 10:32 AM / 27moose said:
Congrats on your gobs of gigs. We all want you to stay meta.
Mighty Jimbo: amen, brother.
01.30.03 - 10:32 AM / 28Suzyn said:
We have Trader Joe's here in Chicagoland--it rocks: a lb. of shade grown organic columbian coffee for $7, chocolate out the wazoo, great wine, and Cabot's butter and sour cream--cheap...God has kissed me on the lips.
01.30.03 - 10:32 AM / 29nora said:
as a TJs is my store of choice person who once spent 5 months sans Trader Joe's in Orlando, I feel your pain. I also expect that if you gave us a wish list, we, your loyal and adoring fans, could probably be persuaded to ship you goodies.
01.30.03 - 10:48 AM / 30