A Selection of Recent, Random and Wholly Unrelated Observations, Volume III
Sometimes when Jon opens a Snickers Bar and passes it to me I feel as naughty as if he were passing me a joint. There's just no difference, except one makes me high, and the other one makes me paranoid.
I used to like Led Zeppelin.
Blondes have it better than septic tank poopy reds.
Styrofoam cups change the taste of gin martinis.
If I had enough money to be on MTV's Cribs, I'd have an entire room covered in blubble-wrap, with bubble-wrap area rugs and a bubble-wrap recliner, and I'd walk around stylin in my bubble-wrap bling.
I'd totally believe in a Heavenly Father if Missy Elliot could be the Heavenly Mother.
Citrucel tastes better than Metamucil.
How many times do I have to go over this? When I ask if you would please get me a Coke, you're supposed to ask me what kind of Coke, because I could mean a Sprite or a Dr. Pepper, you Yankee.
Pride is what you had, baby girl, I am what you have.
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FM Living
Heather #2 said:
Who the hell served you a martini in styrofoam???
I love Miss Mea-Mea 'cause she's from Portland.
02.20.03 - 01:35 PM / 1pixelkitty said:
eating a snickers is like smuggling dope in Thailand. The adrenalin rush of breaking my diet does it for me every (3) time.
02.20.03 - 01:42 PM / 2Amanda Lew said:
Totally with you on the Elliot tip. The idea of witnessing a choir of old church ladies rap their rendition of "Work It" during a Sunday mass would, miraculously, actually make me go on purpose.
02.20.03 - 01:45 PM / 3rosebaby said:
snickers=crack
coke generically is just.... odd.
and i'm having great fun thinking of a bubble wrap universe.
what about a bubble wrap toilet? that could be problematic.
02.20.03 - 01:48 PM / 4windowsill wendy said:
i'm with you on the 'coke' thing, dooce. i just can't make myself call it 'pop' or 'soda.'
02.20.03 - 01:49 PM / 5Naaman said:
FedEx has to have a room like that. I have to believe they do.
02.20.03 - 01:50 PM / 6Anonymous said:
www.blingwear.com
02.20.03 - 01:51 PM / 7Shane said:
You haven't lived until you've had a deep-fried Mars bar...
http://yumfood.net/recipes/deepfriedmars.html
02.20.03 - 01:53 PM / 8shy said:
i prefer diet-pepsi. not for the low cals but for the great taste. i'm a brunette. as are all asians that i know. not sure what that ranks me on the poop-i-meter. heh.
02.20.03 - 01:54 PM / 9antisocial diva said:
snickers? oh yum. i wistfully look back on the days when i could eat two in a sitting and not have my thighs pay the price.
02.20.03 - 01:55 PM / 10jess said:
i'm with you on the deep fried mars bars, shane. they are so good.
02.20.03 - 01:58 PM / 11windowsill wendy said:
what about deep-fried twinkies? i've seen them, but i've never eaten one. have any of you tried them?
02.20.03 - 02:01 PM / 12Benjy said:
And you'd need a bubblewrap butler to replace all the used up bubblewrap after it's been popped!
and here's a link to a bubble wrap room done up an HGTV show:
http://www.hgtv.com/hgtv/
dc_design_themes/article/
0,,HGTV_3383_1379465,00.html
02.20.03 - 02:02 PM / 13The Inmate said:
So "coke" is a generic term with you people?
Well....at least you're not calling it "pop".
That would be too much.
02.20.03 - 02:02 PM / 14Funtime Ben said:
But Zeppelin's Tangerine still rocks.
02.20.03 - 02:07 PM / 15Dawn said:
Silly girl, don't you know the generic for carbonated beverages is "soda"? Although out here in Seattle, they tend to say "pop".
02.20.03 - 02:08 PM / 16Autobiographical Dictionary said:
My Top Five Favorite Rock Bands of All Time:
1. Led Zeppelin
2. Led Zeppelin
3. Led Zeppelin
4. Led Zeppelin
5. Led Zeppelin
02.20.03 - 02:10 PM / 17Heather #2 said:
pop, puh-pop, pop
pop pop pop
puh-pop, pop, pop
P-O-P! P-O-P! P-O-P!
02.20.03 - 02:17 PM / 18se said:
I had a dream once that prominently featured an inflatable chair covered in Cookie Monster blue fur. I think it'd look lurvley in your bubble-wrap room.
02.20.03 - 02:19 PM / 19vibegrrl said:
When you ask for a coke, that's what you get. a COKE (PEPSI or generic COLA may be substituted) Dr. Pepper is an ENTIRELY different thing.
02.20.03 - 02:24 PM / 20Summer said:
A bubble-wrap coated tub full of jello!
02.20.03 - 02:44 PM / 21jimmypage said:
smoking dope and eating snickers bars is not good for your lungs & colon, respectively.
but who am i to talk?
{cough/hack/spray-spit}
at least you don’t like led zeppelin, anymore.
because if you did, you’d be high too often and buying snickers at costco. also, jon would be the size of an nfl offensive lineman and you, d00ce, would be a stoned, white oprah-lookin-type.
dr pepper rules! red fusion is decent. but the sobe mr green, is the key to root canals and teeth implants. truly the shit (poo - for you giggly-types)! -jp
02.20.03 - 02:57 PM / 22Sydney said:
I love you just for the coke comment alone. Everyone should know that a coke means a sprite or a diet coke or any ole soft drink. and it aint soda or pop. and what's with these yankee cities not having good fountain drinks with proper shaved or pellety ice?? where have fountain drinks gone?
02.20.03 - 02:58 PM / 23slackjaw said:
Soda for the East coast.
Pop for the West coast.
Coke can be diet or classic but not vanilla or any other kind.
Soft Drink is totally euro-gay and should be avoided at all costs. (or so's I'm thinkin)
02.20.03 - 03:18 PM / 24Irk said:
I live in the middle, up top, and we call it pop.
And if you are waiting on me at a restaurant, and I ask you for a Coke, and you ask me if Pepsi is okay and I say no, don't give me a dirty look.
The Pop vs. Soda page has a really nifty map: http://www.ugcs.caltech.edu/
~almccon/pop_soda/
02.20.03 - 03:25 PM / 25Kayjay said:
Never had a deep-fried MArs bar, but I have had a Snickers Chimichanga. Oooo baby.
Soda! It's soda people.
02.20.03 - 03:33 PM / 26chunderchud said:
I prefer, sodi-pop. That way all my bases are covered. And while snickers certainly are delectable, I'm a peanut butter cup man myself. I mean, peanut butter + chocolate...mmmm... get me to the balcony at the movies!
02.20.03 - 04:09 PM / 27Dave Thomas said:
Language After the South Rises Again
- What kind of ford do you drive?
- A Honda.
- Mine ford is a Dodge.
- Want to pet my dog?
- Sure. Wait, why is he eating me?
- Because he is a bear.
- Is this gun loaded?
- No.
- BANG! (dies)
- "No" as in "yes," dumbass.
02.20.03 - 04:11 PM / 28cicada said:
JP, that's twice in as many days that you've mentioned Oprah here. If we were on Oprah.com, that would be one thing, but this is Dooce, for God's sake. We talk about poop here. Unless you have some kind of poop fetish that you'd like to engage in *with* Oprah. Then it'd be totally OK.
02.20.03 - 04:17 PM / 29blamb said:
Carbonated beverage.
02.20.03 - 06:45 PM / 30