I started to read all these amazing comments but realized there's only so many hours in the work day....

During my childhood, my father worked odd sorts of jobs--cab driver, flower guy on the highway--until he became a firefighter for the Chicago Fire Department when I was seven years old. In addition to this, he spent his time away from the fire house doing construction jobs on the side. And for 95 percent of this, my mother stayed home. Just last fall she took a job with my youngest sister's former elementary school as a bus monitor. She works from about ten to four and loves saying that she has somewhere to go during the day and that she can finally contribute to their finances.

When I was younger, our house (apartment, actually) was the one where all the neighborhood kids wanted to be because my mom was one of the rare few who stayed home. She made cookies, cooked dinner, knew our friends and our schedules. In high school I was a good kid but got pretty wrapped up in my first real boyfriend, and if it wasn't for her constant nagging on where I was, who I was going to be with, were parents going to be around, etc., there's a good chance I'd be the mother of a 10-year-old child by now, fathered by a man who was umemployed and still living in his mother's basement by the time I finished my bachelor's degree.

When I was younger, I always thought my mom stayed home because my dad wanted her to. It wasn't until I was older that I realized she was exactly where she wanted to be. However, since they had me so young (19) and struggled for so long, neither of them had the chance to further their educations, which is why they're both so adamant about all of us kids going to college. I wish BOTH of them could've done that.

My fiance and I are getting married in May and know we want to start our family soon. I have a master's degree and job that has great pay and benefits, but I want to be a SAHM so badly I could cry. However, I'm not willing to sacrifice everything to do that. I want to have the means to be able to help them pay for college so they're not drowning in debt after graduation. I'm paying over five hundred dollars a month to Sallie Mae because my parents had four other mouths to feed in addition to mine and there was no extra money for stuff like that. I'm not angry about it, but that doesn't mean I want my kids to be in the same position. Also, I want Luke and I to have a retirement account. My parents have always lived paycheck to paycheck, no savings, so they don't have anything but my dad's pension to depend on. They're nervous about that. I don't want that to happen to Luke and me.

Once they actually exist, I hope my children have the means to make the best choices for their families, whatever those choices may be. And I really, REALLY hope they aren't saddled with debt. :)

I was the youngest of three children, and my mom stayed home with us for nearly all of my childhood. I never realized just how hard she worked at it until after my third son was born last year. (thanks, Ma!)

I could give you so many reasons why I'm glad Mom did what she did, but I have one particular memory that crystallizes the whole thing for me.

I was 15 and a sophomore in high school. It was a warm, breezy spring day, so I was helping Mom hang some sheets out on our clothesline. And I was feeling mighty restless.

A few of my friends had been experimenting with sex, and I was starting to feel some pressure. Not to mention, the curiosity over the whole situation was getting to me. I was just on the cusp between "What's the big deal, anyway?" and barely being able to keep from flinging myself at my dance partner in show choir. At that point I hadn't even been properly kissed yet. So the angst over this topic was hitting boiling point.

Mom knew something was up, and asked me what was on my mind. Now I could've gone all moody teen girl and clammed on her, but maybe because she had been with me all along, as close to 24/7 as a mom can get without making her kid a head case, I chose to talk.

To this day I don't remember a lot of particulars about the conversation. I remember her listening closely without freaking out on me (must've been tough!), and the even, measured look on her face as she was choosing her words to me. Mostly I remember how much better I felt after we talked.

Trust me, it was a conversation that, had she not been there to participate in it mindfully, could have deeply altered the course of my life.

I'm so glad she was there for me. Even though it meant us giving up a lot of material things as individuals and as a family. When I was a teenager I sometimes wished Mom worked so we could have more of the stuff other people seemed to have. But looking back? I honestly can't think of anything I would change. I hope my boys have the same perspective when they grow up.

My mom worked. She had to...but she wasn't really the stay at home type (whatever THAT is, right?) She worked in a factory, and I knew that I never wanted that for MY life. But I think she enjoyed it, so who am I to say what I wish she would have done? I can't really speculate on how it would have been had she stayed home, because it just wasn't her.

I stay home with my kids too. And I totally agree with you that the whole feminist movement was to give women CHOICES, and this is a perfectly valid choice. I don't think it's the universal best choice, but it's what works for me and my family right now. I am going to school part time so that when my kids are in school I am doing something. But again, that's my choice and I don't think that every woman better get back to work when her kids are in school.

I hope my daughter grows up to do whatever the hell she wants, as long as it makes her happy. And it doesn't involve selling her body.

I'm close to first. My mom was a teacher for 2 years until my older sister was born, then she stayed home with us. She started substitute teaching when I was in junior high, but even then she was home with my sister and I 90% of the time. I'm glad she was home with us, but then I don't know any different. All I know is my friends whose moms worked, they said they wished their moms stayed home like mine did.

I don't have daughters yet, but if I ever do, I hope they grow up to do whatever they want. I would hope that they get a good education, but whether they choose career or staying home with my grandchildren, I hope that they are able to make the choice that makes them happy.

You know, I just hope my daughters grow up to love and appreciate who they are. It sounds completely sappy, but I've spent so much of my life wishing I was someone else and I don't want them to go through that. They could work at McDonalds, but if they were happy and fulfilled I would call that a success. :)

I first decided that I wanted to be a SAHM when I realized that raising my children and "raising them well" would be my legacy.

I realized this after meeting my friend Erica's mother. Erica was smart, funny and incredibly gifted. Her mother was brilliant and on her way to becoming an incredible Doctor and Scientist when she decided to stay home with her three daughters. All of them are amazing women.

I respected her choice because I witnessed her amazing legacy and in that moment -- I knew that this was the legacy I wanted to leave.

I wasn't going to be a great lawyer. I knew I didn't have it in me. I do know that I have potential to be an incredible mother and I can't wait to have that opportunity.

My mother stayed home with my sister and I until we were in 1st grade. IF I get around to having children of my own (I'm 30 and working on my PhD so I can hopefully do the academic schedule which is relatively conducive to having kids, I think) I want to be around, especially for the early years - although I don't know how good I'd be at it.

I couldn't agree more with your comments, Heather. I thought this whole feminism business was so that we could HAVE choices.

My mom worked two jobs, one of which was an in-home day care until my sister (the youngest of three) was born, at which point she made the day care full time. She wanted to stay at home with us, and she's still glad she made the decision. At the same time I think it gave her too little financial freedom, and it was one reason she didn't leave my horrid father until I was 16. But my mom was my best friend and I thought she was the most beautiful, amazing person in the world until other things came between us. When I got home from school, she was the first person I wanted to see.

I hope I have the opportunity to stay home with my kids. I'd like, more than that, to have the opportunity to volunteer in the community, doing the things I want to do as a career (junior in college here) for free, etc.

I think if there was anything I could change about the way I was raised it would be to give my mom the emotional, financial and mental freedom to get away from my dad earlier, when I wasn't old enough to resent her for the problems that came from it. I would make my mom stronger.

But we're best friends today, and I wouldn't go back for any amount of money if it would change that fact.

Leta is lucky. The most important thing is that you and Jon love each other and that you love HER. Everything else will come out in the wash. Regardless of what the militants say (and I AM a militant feminist) that is the most important thing. That is what will make you a role-model for Leta. You go.

My mother worked her butt off at several different jobs (including odd ones that required work at home). I think I appreciated it at the time. I certainly realized how hard she worked, especially since most of the other tasks (cooking, cleaning, etc.) fell to me.

Once she found out that I was making more than her per hour at a summer job than she was at her full-time job.

And now I'm about to be graduated from medical school (I'm about to become one of those non-human women surgeons ;)) and I owe it to my mother's shining work ethic. Sure, she never did any "normal" mother stuff, but she kept us clothed, fed and happy.

In my life, I'll have to schedule a family. My career choice will never let me be a stay at home mom, much less a very involved one (at least five years of 80+ hour work weeks ahead of me). Which is why having a family will be a hard choice for me. But I certainly will *never* disdain or look down upon those who choose to stay at home with their children. You have my pride and my jealousy.

And my daughters will do whatever makes them happy. Unless of course that involves hitting the crack pipe and attempting to be the first person to reach the South Pole in the nude...

My mom wanted desperately to be a stay at home mom, but things didn't work out for her to be able to do that, so she's always had to work as long as I've been alive. For the most part, I really wish she could have stayed home, because it's what she wanted for herself. There's nothing to teach you independence and self-reliance like having a single mother, but I've hated seeing her have to work such hard, labor-intensive jobs, and she would have been a kick-ass SAHM (just like she is, but maybe with a little less stress and fatique.) If I could change anything, I would hope that the circumstances would have worked out so that she could do what she wanted to do, not what she had to do.

I would hope my daughters would grow up to do whatever made them happy and fulfilled, whether it's SAHM or leader of the free world.

My mother stayed home about a year after I was born, because my brother was only 11 months old when I arrived, so she had two non-walking kids in diapers. But after a year, she said she was just going batty. She needed a separate place to go everyday with a different structure or whatnot, I don't know. She's always worked as far as I could remember, and I don't recall ever resenting it or wishing she were around more. She was home after I got home from school. My family couldn't afford not to have both adults working.

I hope not to have kids, but I hope other people are able to do what they can and what is right for them. Ideally, we all would like the opportunity to truly be able to choose how we want to live, but the reality doesn't always allow that.

I really have no idea what I would do if I ended up spawning.

My mom stayed at home with us. I really, really wish I could stay home with my 4-month old daughter but we just can't afford it at the moment. Luckily, my husband is between semesters at school and he can stay home with her. It's much better than day care and I dread the day we have to send her to one. And unless I win the lottery, that day will come sooner than my heart will take.

My mother worked. My parents were also divorced when I was 5. I never gave it much thought until I lived with my grandparents for a few years after the divorce. My grandmother was always home, and took me to junior theater and ballet and swimming and a wide variety of other things. Things kids in day care after school didn't ever get to do. If I could choose now I would want my mom home when I got home from school. _If_ I have kids I want to be in a job that has a flexible enough schedule to allow me to at least be there when they come home. Prior to the divorce I went to day care or preschool. I liked school and I liked day care. it was pretty much all I had known. If I had to put my kids in preschool or day care I would, but hopefully only for half a day.

My mother worked her ass off as a licenced midwife for most of my childhood. My father loves to tell the story of finding me one morning on the phone at age 7, and asking me what I was doing. "I'm arranging my childcare," I answered. That was how it worked when mom had to rush off to deliver someone's baby at 6am on a school day.

Granted, I hated it the whole time. Other people's mom's made them cookies! I was a lonely latchkey kid.

Now, however, I appreciate it immeasurably. I'm endlessly inspired by all that my mother managed to do while raising me (nursing school! midwifery school! starting a business! founding a national organization!), and I have to go back every once and a while and pat the younger me on the head and say "buck up, kid: she loves you and this is part of how she's showing it ... by being an inspiration to you, even if you don't know it now."

As we hurdle towards having a kid of our own, I wrestle with the issues. I think I'd go crazy staying at home (my periods of freelancing from home have been ... unhealthy for me), but I don't like the alternatives. I have no answers. But I'm happy to see comments back!

My mom did a little of both during my growing up years depending on our ages and our family's financial situation. While I'm sure that she probably hoped that her daughters would stay home with their children she has always encouraged us to do what is best for ourselves and families.

I have a degree in social work and practiced for three years before having my first child. Staying at home was a welcome relief from the job stress and I've had no desire to go back. I feel like I've enjoyed the best of both worlds in the timing that was right for me.

Holy freaking wow! I'm commenting on Dooce! Hi mom!