In a family way
It's been a busy couple of weeks for my side of the family starting when my cousin (and DORJ!'s brother), Robert, and his wife gave birth to their first child, Maci.
DORJ! is one of three sons, and the birth of this granddaughter has turned my Uncle Danny, Curdled Turd Bump of Incomprehensible Stink, into a vulnerable heap of goo. Danny was visiting my mother when she was watching Leta during our trip to Amsterdam last month, and reportedly it was then that his hardened interior began to liquefy. He was so taken with Leta that he drove to McDonald's every morning specifically to buy her a couple of greasy hash browns. There is significance in this gesture because it marks the first time in Danny's life that he ever did anything nice for another human being.
Last week Robert sent me an email to give me an update about Maci, and he had this to say about his father: "You should see Grandpa Boone with her. I have never seen him smile so much. He holds her for hours at a time. I've never seen anything like it." That's the miracle of babies, their ability to lay bare the tender, beating hearts of raging assholes.
And Danny says he doesn't like my website! HMMPH!
Also this week my sister, September, had her hair colored back to its natural brown. There are not words to adequately state how huge a step this was for her, bigger perhaps than if she had agreed to watch a single minute of a Michael Moore film, something she sees as the equivalent of having her hands chopped off at the wrists. I'm so proud of her, and not a little jealous that even though she is five years older than I am her skin is so smooth that it makes mine look like the obituary photo of someone who died of old age.
Finally, today my mother's sister, my Aunt Lola, is having a mastectomy. She was diagnosed with breast cancer only a few weeks ago, and this has affected me in truly surprising ways. I am of course deeply saddened and torn apart that this has happened to her and what this means for her body, for the way she has to live the rest of her life, for the years that may have already been cut from her life. At the same time this is bad news for the rest of the women in my family who have up until now enjoyed the luxury of telling our primary care physicians that no one in our family has ever suffered breast cancer. The magnitude of what this means for us is still unknown, and that frankly terrifies me in almost indescribable ways. It is that terror that surprises me, but it is also that terror that has renewed in me a devotion to keeping myself healthy, a devotion to celebrating my heritage while at the same time fighting what that heritage could possibly mean.
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FM Living
Torrie said:
I love September's new hair (hey, that would make a good band name).
It looks like chocolate.
Yummy!
03.23.06 - 10:39 AM / 1esther said:
i don't know if this will get deleted, but i love your blog. and babies. and other stuff. you're the best!
03.23.06 - 10:40 AM / 2shan said:
I am sooo close to first!
And yes she does have gorgeous skin, but you have a model's face, so... it all evens out in the end.
03.23.06 - 10:40 AM / 3tksinclair said:
My aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer last year. I was told to have my regular mammograms, once a year, starting at 40 and to not take hormones or drown myself in soy (which I was doing because it beat the side effects - hot flashes - of menopause) BUT you have a long way to go before you have to deal with menopause. Oh, I was also told to do my monthly breast exams - which I don't do regularly - but it is advised. I was worried about how would I even know a lump if I saw one!?! But, was told, "You'll know." Let's hope. I wish the best for your aunt. My aunt is like my second mother. I'm happy to say she's doing fine a year later but she did have to have chemo and I think some radiation. She lost ALL her hair. I mean, you lose ALL your hair. Eyelashes, eyebrows, and as she called it "the hair down there!" The first single hair that grew back? A chin hair! Figures.
03.23.06 - 10:43 AM / 4victoria said:
A lot of momentous news in this entry. But the most mysterious and provocative news here compels this question: How could anyone not like your website?
03.23.06 - 10:44 AM / 5Cindy said:
Congrats on the new niece-cousin, isn't it grand how babies can change peoples view of the world so much?
Your sister - and her hair - is beautiful.
I'm so sorry about your Aunt Lola - and for the loss of the security you felt before. An extra prayer for your aunt will be said today.
Give Leta an extra hug or two from us out here, won't ya? :-)
03.23.06 - 10:47 AM / 6Britta said:
It's a strange thing when the family health history changes and you find yourself hesitating in the doctor's office, or checking more of the "yes" boxes on the intake surveys. But it's also a wonder--that we are connected as such, that little genes dictate the people we become. My mother was diagnosed with a heart arrythmia a year before my own diagnosis. She broke her leg a year before I broke my thumb (both of us in skiing accidents). Coincidence? Who knows. But for fuck's sake, mom, be careful! (I don't really say this to her.) Good wishes to Aunt Lola...
03.23.06 - 10:47 AM / 7Britta said:
It's a strange thing when the family health history changes and you find yourself hesitating in the doctor's office, or checking more of the "yes" boxes on the intake surveys. But it's also a wonder--that we are connected as such, that little genes dictate the people we become. My mother was diagnosed with a heart arrythmia a year before my own diagnosis. She broke her leg a year before I broke my thumb (both of us in skiing accidents). Coincidence? Who knows. If it's more than that, for fuck's sake, mom, be careful! Slow down! (I don't really say this to her.) Good wishes to Aunt Lola and your family.
03.23.06 - 10:47 AM / 8Vaguely Urban said:
All those family pots of edamame and farting expeditions to the gym - sounds like you're taking good care of yourself. Keep it up, get examined when you're supposed to, and you should be just fine. Prevention and early detection, baby!
Also - congratulations to Uncle GEORGE!
03.23.06 - 10:48 AM / 9Amanda Paige said:
September looks beautiful. And I don't see evidence of any aerosal hairspray in the photo either.
03.23.06 - 10:52 AM / 10Pupsicle said:
My mother was diagnosed last week with malignant melanoma - I can really sympathize. It just knocks the wind right out of you, realizing that you have a vulnerability you hadn't really contemplated before.
03.23.06 - 10:54 AM / 11Urs said:
my grandma had ovarian cancer, my mom and her two sisters had ovarian cancer- and i'm pretty sure i will get it too. shit happens. i guess it's part of life and we all have to deal with something. i hope your aunt will be ok.
03.23.06 - 10:55 AM / 12Lisa Ferris said:
Gosh, I just looked at the Boones on Flickr and I didn't know all Mormons looked so much like Donny Osmond! What's up with that? They are all so pretty.
On a more serious note, sorry about your Aunt Lola. My mom died of Cancer 3 years ago. It does change the way you think of your own mortality.
03.23.06 - 10:59 AM / 13Heather Anne said:
Warm wishes for your Aunt Lola.
And I think you oughta have this: "That’s the miracle of babies, their ability to lay bare the tender, beating hearts of raging assholes" made into a sticker.
03.23.06 - 11:00 AM / 14Torrie said:
Heather, I forgot to mention:
I came across this amazing study about why Polish women's rate of breast cancer increases three fold when they move to the US. I wrote a little bit about it on the new site.
http://veggiepregnancy.com/index.php/2006/03/06/vegan-colseslaw/
I don't know why something that can so easily reduce your risk of breast cancer isn't being made more public.
If you'd like more info I could email you the article.
03.23.06 - 11:00 AM / 15wordnerd said:
I really REALLY like the name September.
That is all.
yay DJORG!
03.23.06 - 11:00 AM / 16Meg said:
We'll be thinking of her, you can be sure. A cimilar cancer issue came up in my life last year, and it was a hell of a wake-up call. I hope the best for all of you.
And what is with y'all and shiny hair? Good lord.
03.23.06 - 11:05 AM / 17literatigirl said:
Heather, my sympathies are with you re: Aunt Lola. It is a terrible disease and you are right to sympathize not only with its impact on her longevity but also on her body. This aspect of the disease is often overlooked and it is only right that we mourn the loss of the parts of our bodes (uterus, breast) that are such a part of our conception of ourselves as women.
03.23.06 - 11:06 AM / 18Meg said:
Cimilar? Good god.
03.23.06 - 11:06 AM / 19Amanda B. said:
I've got to start checking over here before I comment on flickr.
September looks really beautiful. Tell her the internet says so.
Saying a prayer for Lola. She sounds like a spunky gal, and I bet she'll walk through the whole process with humor and grace. (unlike me who would run around and scream a lot)
03.23.06 - 11:06 AM / 20Bella said:
My Mother had breast cancer and thankfully did not have to have a mastectomy, which makes losing your hair from the chemo seem like a drop in the bucket, since hair grows back. But it had a terrible affect on her self-esteem even with the countless wigs she bought. I'll se saying a prayer for Aunt Lola. (hugs)
03.23.06 - 11:11 AM / 21Elenalyn said:
I know the feeling. Those questionaires are so scary... it would almost be easier if they asked me to list out the female relatives who DON'T have breast cancer.
On a happier note, here I thought I was being all original when I named my little girl September. But your sister is gorgeous, so I guess I don't feel too bad about the name-sharing. =)
03.23.06 - 11:14 AM / 22rivetergirl said:
My mother just finished a year-long treatment for breast cancer that included months of chemotherapy. A mastectomy followed by another one when the doctors didn't like the look of the second breast. Topped off by radiation treatments which required her to drive 45 minutes each way through the snowy Sierra Nevadas every day for weeks.
I was 800-miles away and terrified for my mom and for myself.
She has always been the healthy one while my dad always the sickly one.
I hate cancer ... I hate it a lot.
But she survived and when I had a nice long visit with her recently, I realized how lucky I am to not only have my mother but to have such a wonderful mother at that.
03.23.06 - 11:19 AM / 23julezy said:
Best of luck to your Aunt. This must be a major blow to your family. I know how much it stings to hear that news as all of the women in my family (short of my mom, sister and myself) have battled breast cancer. My grandma fought for 22 years! She was told that she would never live to see my mom get married, and she finally gave in to the disease MY senior year of high school. If your aunt has the will, she can fight it!
03.23.06 - 11:20 AM / 24gribblelite said:
As per usual, glorious news (the birth of a child) is tempered with the horrible reality of cancer for your Aunt Lola. So happy about the birth, so sorry about your aunt.
God really has some crappy timing, doesn't he?
Love the descriptive of Danny, classic. Yeah, we have one in our family, too.
03.23.06 - 11:25 AM / 25Jim Brodhead said:
Curdled Turd Bump of Incomprehensible Stink?
Stop, you're killing me here. I just blew a green apple Jolly Rancher right through my nose.
03.23.06 - 11:32 AM / 26BREM experience said:
Want to see your sister die of a heart attack?
Have her watch this:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5137581991288263801&q=loose+change
http://www.loosechange911.com/
uh oh.
03.23.06 - 11:34 AM / 27thewub said:
Great pics, and September's hair is just beautiful. Congrats on the family addition and babies do have a way of melting even the hardest of hearts. Especially when they are the Grandpa's hearts. I cannot quite figure it out!
03.23.06 - 11:40 AM / 28Oaky said:
Hang in there. My mom had breast cancer a year ago. The day I found out was the worst day of my life. She is my best friend. She has gone through some rough days with chemo and is now cancer free a year later. You will be amazed how many people know someone who has had it and doing great once you start talking about it.
03.23.06 - 11:46 AM / 29Wicked H said:
My thoughts and prayers go out to your Aunt. I too have a maternal Aunt who had and beat breast cancer. You are absolutely not alone in feeling the fear, my sisters and I also felt it. There are so many new treatments and cures these days, I am sure your Aunt will be well taken care of and win the fight.
03.23.06 - 11:50 AM / 30