Your issues with leaving Mormonism are shared by many, not just former Mormons, as I'm sure you know. I and several people I grew up with have left Christianity within the past several years, and it has been a very intesting experiment in the our relationships with those whom we've worshiped with for years, and our families who are still devout Christians. I think it is scary to them that they might be wrong, and it's easier to push us out of our lives than to consider that possibility. Thanks for the great post.

I am against organized religion for many reasons, but also because women's place in the church is portrayed as too subservient and miniscule. It is so nice to see a confident woman who values herself. So few women really do and I think this is why women would be willing to be one of many wives.

Also, interesting parallel between homosexuals and multiple spouses. I'm not sure what I think about that, but it has me thinking.

Although I didn't email you to ask you what you thought of Big Love, I did wonder what you thought and am glad to know. I admire that you work so hard to keep a relationship going with your family, and maybe it's a testament to them and to you that you all even bother, even though it's difficult. As for the show, I don't know - we are giving it one more week before we decide if we're going to hang with it. Right now I want to divorce them all too, especially that wooden dead actor Bill Paxton.

This post was interesting to me because, beyond your feelings about Mormonism and religion, it speaks to the challenges when "putting it out there" for the world to see.

Whether blogging or podcasting we set up, consciously or unconsiously, boundaries about what we can or will share with our audience. Do I talk about my kids? My job? Show pictures? Share my address? As you know better than most, there can be unanticipated consequences if these boundaries aren't determined.

I have always been amazed by your willingness to open your life so completely to your readers. Thanks for opening up this part of your life and background also - you did it with grace and skill.

A Joseph Smith reference! My mother's side of the family descends from the Rigdon lineage (Sydney Rigdon - widely viewed among Mormons to be a traitor to the church, because he walked away from it). Whenever we're around Mormons and we reveal this fact, they suddenly fall very silent, back away slowly, shielding their children's eyes while whispering: "Pay no attention to those pagans, dear."

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little but you get the idea.

As a Mormon, I'm impressed that you explained your feelings without any pot-shots or belittling. I may not agree with all that you say, but I respect your right to say it and I think you said it well.

This is a very brave post. Thank you. Oddly, when I first heard about Big Love, I immediately thought about you and what you might think about it.

And when you think about it, God is Everywhere. Why must one visit a church to feel close to God?

I just wanted to show my support for your post. The courage it takes to publicly post views that clash with your family's core belief system is huge. You accomplish this in your post with a lot of poise and much respect for your family. I hope the backlash (from family members and those who will slam you for supporting gay rights) isn't too hard. Finding balance as a writer is a struggle, you handle it well.

I live in Utah and my primary issue with Mormonism has to do with their views of women. I cannot participate in anything that will not allow me to hold any of the top "offices" simply because of the fact that I am a woman--no other reason. I just can't.

I joined the Mormon church when I was 16. I have now been married to a wonderful man for 5 years and we are raising our children in the religion. I have to tell you honestly, if we were "told" that we were supposed to start practicing polygamy, I think I would probably leave the church. I do not believe that polygamy will be practiced in heaven, and I do not believe that it is an ok thing to do. Mormons teach family values and the sanctity of marriage, and I think that polygamy is so far away from that. I don't know enough about why it was started or why it ended to try to justify what the early members of the church did. There is a lot of church history that frankly just baffles me, however I feel strongly that this is where I need to be at this point in my life. I truly believe that the church is evolving in a positive way, farther away from polygamy and closer to the equality that I believe men and women should have in the church. I wouldn't stay here if I felt the future of the church was going in a direction I was uncomfortable with. Polygamy is a very emotionally charged issue with a lot of people, and it will be interesting to see the church's reaction to Big Love. Thanks for stating your views so openly and without malice. You're a peach. :)

As non-mormon utahans and big HBO fans, as well as hippie liberals, we've been mulling over "Big Love" as well. I agree that polygamy should be legal as long as it is undertaken by consenting adults. The problem becomes, with the history of the fundamentalist LDS church and the long, long history of the cultural supression and objectification of women, consent becomes very difficult to define. I think if I saw more polygamist relationships where women were the center of the family and had multiple husbands, I would feel much more comfortable condoning polygamy as a practice in general. But it is the idea of possessing many wives, as if they were cattle, that makes polygamy so hard to understand as a woman. On the other hand, my thought watching "Big Love" last week was that it would be nice to have built in babysitters if you're going to have to have ten children.

I'm the second (so far, when posting) Mormon commenting and in the past few moments have thought of all kinds of ways I could offer myself up as a sacrifice to all kinds of love and hatred by asking to open up the discussion to different sides--because there certainly aren't just two.

Heather, you don't have to entertain any other opinion but your own--blogging gives anyone that power--and whoever listens or reads is bound to himself to reconcile the differences. But, you've opened comments on this one and I commend that. Here's hoping many who respond feel safe enough in their skin to offer differing views.

I'll admit I don't. Not quite yet.

Yo Heather! I can't tell you how much we have in common. I grew up near BYU, left the church and married a rock boy. Most importantly, I love Doritos and who doesn't love Britney's chest? As a recovering Mormon, I tune into Big Love, curious how they will portray the Mormon church and the fundamental Mormons.

More than your opinion on Big Love, I appreciate your sharing how you deal with those members of your family who are still Mormon. Like you, any discussions about homosexuality and the like are off limits with my family.. or punches will likely be thrown. You can imagine my mother's horror when an article in the S.L. City Weekly chronicled my abortion at 17. The first and only question she asked was "did you use my last name or your married name." God forbid the neighbors know I had an abortion ten years ago. I escaped from behind the Zion Curtain last year and only recently discovered your site. Man, it's crazy - I lived a few blocks from you and Jon and had to come all the way to Manhattan to discover you.

P.S. I remember dancing at "The Palace" in Provo around the time Swim Herschel Swim was making the scene.

Word. I'm not much of an organized religion sort. Especially the ones that do not value the opinion of women based on the lack of penis factor.

And nevermind Bill Paxton's bare buttocks...what about that sack shot in episode 1 or 2? I did NOT need to see that!

Kudos to you for expressing your point of view while updholding respect for your family.

I have never been part of an organized religion... there are things about Mormonism that I cannot fathom, one of them being polygamy. Obviously as a woman I take issue with the role of women in that sect. However, I tend to agree: polygamy can be acceptable, providing that everyone involved is consenting. I have a major, major problem with how young girls are married off to men, often times to those that are old enough to be their grandfathers. This is utterly disturbing.