All Too Appropriate
Friday, May 23 2003
File Under:
Daily, Misc, Poop
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I don't think there's anything more fitting than to be recognized as "that girl" who runs "that website" while I'm standing in line at the grocery store buying nothing but a TOILET PLUNGER.
- Currently listening to: Chromeo
Thursday, 31 July 2008 - Not necessarily a better liar, but at least she's getting creative
Tuesday, 29 July 2008 - Redder than red
Monday, 28 July 2008 - On this day many, many, many years ago
Friday, 25 July 2008 - Why our next dog will be a sea monkey
Wednesday, 23 July 2008
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1. Eigil said:
Happy plunging!
2. Kate said:
At least it wasn't Tampons. Never piss a woman off when she's buying Tampons, it means she's in a bad mood to begin with.
3. bearcub said:
A few notes:
- I was in St. Louis last weekend and I heard this "warshing" word you've mentioned before
- I've always thought you look strikingly like Emily Haines, singer of the band Metric
- Incidentally they have a brand new album, and you would do well to acquire it; I'm sure you'd love it
4. Appleshell said:
Sometimes I get an incredible urge to scratch my eye using my middle finger.
5. three-legged pi said:
No fritos? And don't they know how lethal someone can be who has been trained in the ancient art of plunge-fu?
6. Tremorr said:
Did she act like she was afraid you would call her a cunt?
7. Tremorr said:
I don't know why I assumed the person who recognized you was a woman ...
8. bushra said:
ditto Kate. at least you're not known as "that girl" who is never in one place with "that phone" beeping messages all the time. or are you? i was also known as "that girl" with the bright blue jacket in school (ok, turquoise). if i ever wore something new after that, people *always* noticed.
9. lorr said:
think yourself lucky, you could have been buying something even more embarrasing.
10. mihow said:
Maybe she recognized you as that girl who ran that website because of the plunger.
Sometimes props are hints. :]
11. melissa said:
I was once recognized at a party (nearly 10 years removed from high school) as "that girl with her eyes closed looking stoned in the yearbook"
For the record once again: that photo was a mistake. I never even saw that photo. The yearbook advisor refunded my money for the yearbook because he couldn't deny the terrible legacy I was left with.
Come to think of it...I wish my eyes had been open without the smoky haze surrounding me AND I'd been holding a plunger. I'd so rather hear at a party: "Hey, there's that girl who was holding a plunger in her senior picture!"
12. Yahmdallah said:
If she's a constant reader, perhaps she's aware of your fight with constipation, and thus was secretly happy about your apparent success overcoming that issue.
13. jason said:
is that a bad thing? i pine for the day when i can't go out in public without being recognized by dozens of complete strangers, no matter what the reason behind it is.
14. Angelique said:
i agree w/Yahmdallah, this must mean that one of the many many hints given just a few weeks ago worked on your regularity issues. fantastic.
and if your entire back just happens to be covered in an elaborate tattoo, try and keep it covered if you run into coworkers outside of work. i am no longer referred to by my first name here in corporate mortgage hell, i am simply "that girl with the really big tattoo". i mean, dont get me wrong. it's beautiful and the 30+ hours of pain were worth it, but it just completely shows the stupidity of some people when they only point out the obvious. why not, hey, there's that girl who makes a mean spinach and goat cheese salad?
15. krotchbat said:
congrats, you are officially the big fish in the little pond.
16. a.march said:
I once accompanied a friend (and childhood neighbor) to the grocery to purchase a home pregnancy test, and we selected a v. remote store to guarantee complete anonimity. sure enough, while in line to check-out, we were greeted by another neighbor and her v. attractive son, who had never given us the time of day. and when the woman noticed the contents of our purchase, she made this gasping, stuttering sound mid-sentence. yeah, total humiliation.
17. Matt said:
The recognition usually get is something like "Hey You, YES YOU!! Get out of the way!"
Other than that, it's the "aren't you the guy with the motorcycle?" as if the beautiful motorcycle-helmet hair doesn't TOTALLY give that away. Oh yeah, and the actual helmet in my hand.
Duh!
18. helenjane said:
Congratulations on freeing your bowels into said "small pond!"
19. Raymond said:
My but the public does offend easily.
signed...that guy who reads that website by that girl.
20. Buddha said:
Getting recognized in public gets easier with time. What you may or may not have done in the past to get that recognition, however, stays with you and never changes really. Dare to be great. Or something kind of like it.
21. Matt said:
Ok, I'm feeling VERY weird this morning, so I will share my second-round of thoughts...
Dooce, don't forget that you can pretty much cause people to clam up if you press the plunger to their face.
Ask permission first, however...it might have the same effect.
Then make sure you get them to buy an advance copy of your book... just because it would feel good to pocket the $21.95.
Of course, if you enjoy the recognition, you may want to just forget this response ever existed.
I'll go back to work now. I think I need to take smaller doses of DayQuil...
22. mbc said:
Is being "that girl" anything like being an "it girl?"
23. dooce said:
mbc: not if "that girl" is buying a toilet plunger. an "it girl" would never be caught dead pooping.
24. the mighty jimbo said:
oh my god! that is the best thing i have heard all week.
you are like the queen of blogging! halcyon my have his fur pants. but you have your sceptre of poop.
all hail the queen.
25. phair said:
so you took the browns to the superbowl and they hosed it up????
26. Zandria said:
I might be kind of freaked-out at first if I were recognized out of the blue from a picture off my website. Then again, if I make them available to the general public then I guess I shouldn't be so surprised if somebody recognizes them one day. I think since that person reads your website, he/she should leave us a comment about "spotting Dooce in person...complete with toilet plunger..." :)
27. avril said:
lol
28. April said:
However, an "it girl" can make pooping so au courant.
29. Naaman said:
I will be in St. Louis in a few weeks and I will most certainly hear warshing. Hell, my father might even revert to saying it after years of corrective behavioral therapy.
30. shy said:
lol! oh man... well, heather, you have reached cyber celebrity stardom. i wish i was as famous as you... though i did get recognized solely based on my own site at a networking party and once coming out of starbucks... maybe one day, i'll get noticed while i'm buying a toilet plunger... or tampons... or ever better yet, condoms.
31. felicia said:
Oh, that's ghetto.
I'm thinking Jackie O shades. :)
32. UnderwearNinja said:
I used to work at a coffee shop in a fairly redneck town. I couldn't go anywhere without hearing a hick yell, "Ah-hulp, look MaggieJean, it's tha coffee guy!"
33. Zeek said:
For better or worse, by so thoroughly documenting life as you know it, you've made yourself part of the future's history.
Maybe at some point your weblog will be quoted by schoolchildren writing on modern history or the evolution of the internet and freedom of speech... or something.
34. david said:
awesome!
35. Toby said:
I have been recognized at a gay club in Washington, DC, and at a No Doubt concert in Baltimore. The stalkers did not approach me, but they were kind enough to send an email the next day, saying that they saw me and offering a detailed rundown of my outfit as proof. Damn paparazzi.
36. sashafoo said:
Hi, I'm a new reader.
I *almost* got noticed once. I posted about a concert I was attending. The day after the show a reader commented about approaching someone at that concert, thinking it was me, but it wasn't.
37. kojotovski said:
I hate to be recognized as the man who talks to delphins and flies slowlly with stars...
38. kojotovski said:
... slowly...
39. Jayden said:
You'll be signing autographs soon enough.
40. shaun said:
that's the best thing i've read all day.
41. melly mel said:
Reminds me of a story:
My husband used to work in a ritzy ski-boot store. One day a little boy around 3 or 4 was in the store with his mom. The demon-spawn stopped dead in his tracks, pointed at my husband and started yelling in horror “Why’s that Chinese Guy here?” over and over. My husband’s not even Chinese, you racist little prick (Philippino-American, thank you very much). The mother, of course, allowed this to continue with no hint of embarrassment or apology.
42. dayment said:
Hey! Look everybody! It's Dooce! Ohmigod! Will you sign my toilet paper?!?
Oh, to be famous. *sigh*
43. Erica said:
Well, what did this person say? What did this person do? Did they call you "Dooce" or "Heather"? Are they reading about themselves right now and if so, should we be callling them names? Details! I need details!
44. Katie said:
At least you weren't buying KY or something.
45. Shan said:
I have been recognized at a coffee shop before for my site. Creeepy. *L*
46. Marc said:
Somehow this seems ironic after Heather's previous comment about smelling a star's hair while online at a store.
I wonder if the Dooce admirer took note of the brand of plumbing tool...
47. m said:
I once mistakenly had my skirt tucked into the back of my underwear in a bookstore. Wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't been wearing my boyfriend's tidy whitey underwear that day.
48. angel said:
At least you're recognized for being the person you actually are. When I go back to my hometown I am plagued with "Hey, aren't you the one who had twins when we were in high school?" (The girl in question had a name that was extremely similar to mine.)
49. Xanthan said:
So, what side of the constipation experience are you on? The side where the plunger is applied to the house's plumbing because yours is now working smoothly, or... well, perhaps you've decided to take more forceful measures with your own plumbing?
I've definitely been reading this blog for too long! hee hee
50. joy said:
The Metamucil must be working well enough that you plugged your toilet. At least things are moving. This is good!
51. Anne said:
Someone said "tidy whitey." Beside the fact that they're "tighty whities," they are very rarely tidy. Shudder. I'm scarred from doing my father's laundry as a kid.
52. shifty said:
could be worse... they were kind enough not to mention your bouts with constipation while you were standing there with your plunger (please... tell me they didn't)
53. mademoiselle a. said:
As much as silence is golden, and the middle finger's excellent for scratching the eye [liked that one]...asking that person to lend you their face to see if the plunge really fits, cause you want to suck off someone's stupid grin and their head happens to have the same shape...ach-ach!
So what did you tell them eventually?
54. arnold said:
See. And they say people from Utah aren't web savvy. Hey Dooce... does your site hosting give you a report of readers by country? Apparently I'm big in Estonia.
55. Kevynn Malone said:
You should of stuck that thing to their face and swung them around.
56. owen said:
I tried that eye/middle finger thing but as it turned out everynody was looking at me and everybody got it. It's a mixed signals thing really.
It's best to accept wat you are and be like eminem. Change only of you suck and other people know it as much as you do.
57. eddeaux said:
This site should be on the Discovery Channel, or TLC or something. I learn more here about everything and nothing. The dooce draws an intriguing, and delightful crowd.
So much chatter over one short paragraph- I LOVE it! If you were a bone dooce, people would suck the marrow out of you.
58. clint said:
That's funny, cause just yesterday in Bizarro Grocery Store I was in line, buying a website, and this guy recognizes me and announces "Hey, you're that dude who unplugs toilets."
59. Lester Nelson said:
One time, I was at Fred Meyers up in my hometown of Soldotna, Alaska, and this girl came up to me and said "Oh my God, is your name Lester?" and I said yeah, and she told me she was just visiting, and had googled Soldotna, and came across my page (Polyester Lester). She really liked my videos, and wanted me to sing for her right there. I faked a cough and got out of it.
60. m said:
I totally knew as soon as I hit submit that someone was going to bust me on "tidy" for not being "tighty". *sigh* It's true...they are rarely tidy. Sorry about your laundry days, Anne. I feel for you. No more talk of men's underwear. At least not today.
61. Adrienne said:
Okay, Dooce, I'm slow on the uptake here, but about your dog's feetses... You don't LIKE the Frito smell?? I've always found it endearing... like puppy breath. Hey, it could be worse, his feet could smell like, I dunno... poo? Ham? Bacterial Culture?
I'll take the corn-chip smell anyday.
62. certified said:
Now, while fritos are decent smelling, I can't imagine anyone would enjoy the smell on dog's feet after reading in the comments that it's the piss that makes them smell that way.
63. crankydragon said:
I got recognized in Cracker Barrel once. Granted, the girl had already met me once but all she could remember was Crankydragon and not my actual name. Still made me laugh. I linked to this post, btw.
64. blamb said:
That's funny; many months ago an acquaintance had a Dooce sighting while visiting LA and when I heard about it, I thought it ranked pretty high as a 'celebrity sighting'.