very charming, dooce. for my college graduation the girls (that would be me) had to wear white dresses and the guys had to wear tuxedos. we looked like a bunch of brides and grooms, i.e. ridiculous.

Aren't
Dooce's
Illin'
Didas
Allda
Shizzle!

Is it really true that you can be a female and graduate BYU without being married? :)

Well, I am a 6'5" grown man and I graduated from Texas Womans University- when I look at my diploma- it looks like a twisted joke- yes, in 1990 this all girl school went CO-ED-I thought that ED part was me- apparently I am just special Ed.

The look with the Addidas is like fresh money ready to be spent.

Box #637 = finished.

Only 914 little "treasure troves" to go!

Was there anything written on the outside of this particular box? Perhaps: "Hairdryers & bedsheets"? Ever open a labeled box and say to yourself: "Was I on drugs when I wrote that label"?!? Been there. Done that.

How is the pile doing? Do the neighbors still think you might be "Louise-y" reincarnated?

College? I don' need no stinkin' college.

I'm that guy who walked through graduation, but a year and a half later has not received his diploma for what reason again? Oh yeah, I still have to take ONE fucking class.

My god, you make me laugh, Dooce. "badass motherfucker"..heeee. Thanks!

i got my first two college parking tickets (after fucking 3 years and 6 months of parking illegally and faking permits) in the last few weeks before graduation. i seriously would not have paid them (mostly due to losing them, partly due to my youthful badassmotherfuckerness) if the same damn letter hadn't been sent to my parents. my dad pulled the "i'm disappointed that you're so irresponsible" act.

oh okay, i never really had any youthful badassmotherfuckerness in me. i just lost the tickets.

Burn it and send the ashes to them...

oh my...nice hairdo though...

Two tickets=$20 at BYU? Wow... At my beloved alma mater, tickets started at $55 and went up from there. How do I know? Because I got more than a dozen of them (hello...if I'm on campus practicing and studying until 1 a.m. I'm not walking home by myself in the dark).
I knew the whole "higher education" thing had gone badly when my mother quoted me as saying "There's no way those last two tickets are mine. I haven't been to class in weeks."

Well, damn. Looks like I have something to look forward to... time to plan my rebellious act.

absolutely stellar post. byu sounds like quite an adversary.

For-eh-ver

Alex!! You just made me spit out my diet coke all over my computer screen! :) Ah well. 'twas worth it.

I went to a small Reformed Church liberal arts college in Iowa to be a minister. We got to debate things like whether you should touch when you dance. I didn't have a car, but I had to make good on a $0.79 bad check to some truck stop to get the paper. Colleges get commissions on stuff like that.

i never walked at graduation. i didn't send out announcements or have a party or anything. but you best believe the whole fucking world will hear about it when i get my masters.

Those are some bad ass Adidas shoes. Brings back memories of Run D.M.C. and Aerosmith.

my school found a way around sending collections after me and my family when my parking tickets piled up... they towed me. that was a pretty good way of getting the attention of a particularly unwealthy college student!

I don't understand why colleges, particularly private colleges with huge endowments, are such nazis about parking tickets. Don't they get enough of my money from tuition?
During my undergrad years I received no less than ten, $100 parking tickets for parking in a handicapped spot DESPITE the fact that I rightfully owned a state-issued handicapped parking sticker. I was ticketed because I didn't have the college-issued handicapped sticker. Apparently, the secretaries of the college health center and campus police had more auhtority to deam me handicapped than my orthopaedic or the state board of physicians. I found this ridiculous (for obvious reasons). Prime parking is one of the few benefits that I received after surviving cancer and I wasn't about to give it up! I fought the tickets all the way to the dean of student affairs and graduated without having to pay for even one.

PS: Dooce, you rock. The Adidas are perfect!

That's a very good picture.

Oh wow. Your father sounds a lot like my father. It's scary to think that there is more than one father in the world like that.

God has shoe preferences? I was thinking he was the Puma type, but then again, I went to a secular university.

Aside from the comedic bit about the shoes and those super sunglasses, the photo itself is sort of funny. I find it odd that there is no one around, that the mountain forms a "Y-like" shape directly atop the huge, painted "Y" on the building behind you, and lastly, the painted "Y" can be read as a thought bubble.

I think you people can´t enjoy college because USA ecucational system is dull. I´ve known some american college students who were amazed to know how many countries there are in America besides USA, Mexico, Canada and Argentina - Brazil, for example. Schools where one is not provided basis for thinking for himself really deserve students who despise them.

My last comment sounds rude, I didn't mean for it to. I apologize in advance.

I don't think any of us hated college. We may have missed a class here or there, but we DO give a shit about the diploma. It's just that things don't always go as planned. Money runs out, people get sick, life happens. Joking about it makes us... OK, ME feel better about letting that opportunity slip by.

And its is NOT becoming to lump anyone together and make an assumption... like "Americans"...whether you are speaking of Northern or Southern.

Regarding that "how to annoy me" topic--I watched that episode and I have to say that Kia is THE worst designer on that show. I watch her for pure freak value--but no one ever freaks out. What about when the neighbours who did the room said the bedroom looked like "a grave"?

Ana & Mihow:

I'm with you. College is a passport out of mindless, minimum-wage jobs. It should be appreciated. I probably didn't appreciate my diploma as much as I should have. But I was not cynical enough to skip commencement.

It is a sad commentary on our society that the people who work the hardest for their degree (by paying for it themselves) are often the only ones who fully appreciate it. I did not pay for mine, so I too did not appreciate it as much as I should have, (nor did I study as hard as I should have).

Every time I contemplate the daunting prospect of working full-time while taking evening masters classes, I get a renewed respect for everyone who has worked their way through college.

Worst of all, studying for a masters might detract from time spent playing tennis & volleyball. That would be terrible! :o LOL

Sorry to get up on my soapbox, Dooce.

There is no way that Kia is worse than Hildy "Let's hot glue shit to the walls" Santo-Tomas. Remember the episode where she used wine labels as wallpaper and it turned out that the couple was a Baptist minister and smiling wife who didn't drink? And who could forget that record room that had thousands and thousands of small LPs nailed to the wall and neon paint everywhere? I suppose this falls under Dooce's "What do you expect?" category, but I know that if Vern Yip came to my house, he could have his way with me or anything in it. Hildy- I'd run for the hills.

First of all, I don't think college is a passport out of mindless minimum wage jobs, espeically when the economy is in the terrible shape it is in now. For almost two years after I graduated I worked between three and four jobs at a time -- working at a bakery ($6.25 an hour), delivering newspapers ($5.25 and hour), taking reservations for Delta Airlines ($7.16 an hour), and a shitty receptionist job for a total chauvinist ($7.00 an hour) -- just to make ends meet. It wasn't until I taught myself HTML and Photoshop that I started making more than $14,000 a year, and every job I got after that NEVER asked about how much school I had finished. It was all about experience and how well I could design the frontend to a shopping cart.

I think for many people, including myself, college was nothing more than learning how to memorize and regurgitate packets of information on command. And I think I may have had a different experience at a different college, I just didn't have the foresight at the time to go someplace else. BYU is a very religious institution, and I was never taught to question anything, nor was I ever encouraged to engage in hearty discussion about ANYTHING, which is what university is supposed to be about. So, yes, perhaps I am cynical, but don't think that I didn't pay with my own sweat and tears and the sacrifice of some of the most precious years of my life for that "education."

I owned those shoes, even though my feet never touched a soccer field in my life.

Every person makes of the college years what they will. I know that I wish I could have known then what I know now, even though I found the entire five years amazing nonetheless (not what you think, I had a double major). I would not have wasted as much time skipping classes and partying as I did, though I did attend classes the great majority of the time. I was exposed to many things I might not have been exposed to otherwise, educationally speaking.

When I eventually got a job in the computer world (NOT my chosen field, I have a B.F.A. in Painting), one of the nicest things anyone (my supervisor) ever said to me as I moved up the ranks, was: it really doesn't matter what your degree was in, the fact that you made it through a major univerity shows that you have a well rounded education, and are capable of the challenge. I have always appreciated the fact that he recognized the journey for what it was worth, rather than the destination.

P.S. A BFA in Painting ain't worth shit, $$$wise.

I get to graduate "twice" (for Bachelors and couple years later Masters) for Physical Therapy. I need to come up with stunts.

Any suggestions?

I haven't done the college thing. ever since 6 weeks ago the school screwed me over with the aptitude test. Can't believe I had to waste all my valuable time applying to a half ass school only to be treated this way. I bet all those who got in become waitresses or some shit like that.

Now I'll have to wait another dam year.

Sorry to double-post, but I forgot the bio stuff so you know where I'm coming from. I just received my AA, after 10 years of full-time work & part-time school. I got it just in case I die before finishing my BA. I built a first career (sec'y) out of experience while going to school for my second career (MFT).

Carla,

At least your parents care! My Dad missed my high school graduation, my university graduation and my graduation from graduate school. Hell, he almost missed my wedding. His being there was a surprise, as he told me he wasn't coming. He didn't stay for the reception.

Not much of a father figure in my life. I wonder how I might have turned out differently if I had had one. . .

I agree with "brownie" -- that many teens at that age aren't completely sure what they want to do. And yes, if they are unsure maybe they should take time off. Uncertainty only leads to waste of time and money. At any rate I knew what I wanted to "be" when I was in 8th grade. I was also positive about it all through high school so now I have no regrets. For the other 95 or so percent that I see at my school, who are completely lost, I guess they may have found a couple of good things about higher education...

1)parties
2)friends

Perhaps it's worth it...?

I totally agree with you Dooce, when you criticize BYU (or any other institution of higher learning) for not teaching you to question anything and for never encouraging you to engage in hearty discussion about anything. Yes, that IS what a university should be all about. But to remain hateful and cynical towards them (because of their narrow-mindedness) is a waste of your time. I recently stopped donating time & money to my own alma-mater because they are so closed-minded. My conservative, private college's administration stooped so far as to flatly refuse to hold a Q&A session after their annual regional alumni dinners, (for alumni in my home state). (Incidentally, I single-handedly organized these regional dinner events for several years. But no more.) In past years, these after-dinner Q&A sessions were a highlight of this annual event, because several bold alumni were not afraid to ask tough questions to the administration rep. But, (just like that moron in the White House) people in power do not like answering tough questions, (i.e.: press conferences). Q&A sessions are a challenge to their authority. And authority should ALWAYS be challenged & questioned. But the powers-that-be will always fight it, tooth & nail. My college administration arrogantly refused to continue the annual tradition of answering tough questions about their actions. This is total B.S.! But being hateful & cynical about it is a waste of time. Change whatever you can. Ignore, avoid, or accept whatever you cannot change. I stopped giving money to the college and stopped volunteering to organize & recruit for these annual dinners.

I think we partially disagree on another point, Dooce: I think a degree IS a passport out of minimum wage jobs. But it is NOT a guaranteed getaway. But it is much MUCH harder to escape those low-pay, low-respect jobs, without the degree. In a crappy economy like ours, a degree is DEFINITELY NOT a guaranteed passport out of these jobs. I am living proof of this. For quite some time, I have been seeking full-time employment in my own field. (Apparently I have been job-hunting MUCH longer than you were, after your much-publicized demise). In order to help pay my bills, I am currently working two part-time jobs (and seeking a third). (The third job would be necessary to make ends meet each month.) My 12 months of unemployment benefits (including Federal extension) ran-out LONG ago. One of my two part-time jobs is VERY part-time (one day every two weeks). This job utilizes my degree & work experience. The other job is 4 hours every morning loading packages (up to 70 pounds) on UPS trucks. (This tough, menial work comes close to those jobs you had after college, despite the fact that I have a degree and many years of experience in my field.) So I can say from first-hand experience that a degree is NOT a guaranteed passport out of these jobs. (Especially in this economy.) But it IS the easiest means of escape.

You also stated that your recent employers have never asked you how much college you have finished. If you gave them a copy of your resume, then they would not HAVE to ask. This info would be listed on the resume. Yes? This info would also be reported by you, when you fill-out the obligatory HR job-application form. After this form is submitted, your employer could discreetly contact BYU and inquire about grades, major, degree received, etc. You might never even know about these surreptitious inquiries. Your degree might be requisite for your current position, without you even realizing it. HR departments do MANY things surreptitiously. I have often compared HR departments to the KGB. Think about it: They both keep detailed dosiers on everyone. They need to know everything about everyone. But they never tell anyone anything. And their response to any issue is: "hush it up". In some ways, HR departments are the bane of our society. Unlike government, there is no system of "checks & balances" within any HR department. They are police, judge, jury, and prosecutor all rolled-up into one omnipotent package. If they decide your blog is bad for the company, you're history!

Sorry Dooce. I got up on my soapbox again. Hope you have a great weekend, (with lots of "acahol").

Re: Diploma as Passport - The Ongoing Dialogue.

I don't think that the diploma is a passport out of anything. Ask any of the 4,000,000 dot commers with their MBA's who are folding t-shirts at the Gap now. But what I do think the diploma is supposed to represent, should you have one, is that you have been taught to THINK. Maybe that is what Dooce and I are saying here, that colleges with religious orientations preach dogma, not teaching you how to think, but teaching you how to conform. And when you don't conform, you get left with this wonderful I-don't-fit-in feeling. And I don't care who you are, spend enough time in a leper colony and be the only one who doesn't have leprosy, you are going to feel bad. And that feeling bad part of it evolves into the desire to question, and the realization that you were never taught to think, and that you had to learn to think on your own.

And I am going to stop using the word and now.

Emily
don't try to one-up the blog.
it's futile.