Victory declared in Clog Wars
- Tuesday Night Videos
Tuesday, 01 July 2008 - My heart's beating like a rabbit
Monday, 30 June 2008 - Revelations
Wednesday, 25 June 2008 - How I spent my morning
Tuesday, 24 June 2008 - A routine expedition
Monday, 23 June 2008
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2. MommyofOne said:
Huh?
*scratches head*
I'm not sure who won.
But what an awesome video and I've been laughing my butt off since this thing started.
3. dancingnancy said:
Horribly disturbing.............he won!!!!! We must all lock the doors before our husbands get any ideas...
4. Katie said:
BWAH HA HA HA HA!! They hijinx that happen while I'm away!
5. Bill said:
Ah well, he died as he lived...
6. Sarah Cait said:
Amazing.
7. MommyofOne said:
Just read Blurb. I'm sorry about my own confusion!
8. jacks said:
HA! That was awesome!
9. Mary-Patricia Allen said:
You're my idol!
10. SilverSeraphim said:
ROFL! That was priceless!
So I guess he gets to dictate the terms of his victory, eh? Ah well, there's always a next time...
11. la_florecita said:
Y'all are awesome.
This brightened my week. Comfort always wins. :)
12. katerino said:
hysterical. but are the neighbors scratching their heads, too?
13. Madame M. said:
Wow.... was that much damage done with one of those dumb shoes?
14. Bretley said:
HA! That is too awesome. You guys make us all laugh so hard, thank you!
15. smoness said:
You two are hysterical -- twisted, but hysterical.
16. Erika said:
Bwhaaaaa! I just spewed Diet Dr. Pepper everywhere. Thanks.
17. Pioneer Woman said:
Oh, geez. I'm giddy.
18. doog said:
the cloganity
19. Torrie said:
Yep, yep, that pretty much made my day.
20. Penny Rene said:
That is so F-ing funny.
21. Stay-at-HomeMomOf4 said:
You guys are a riot. You realize there's no hope of Leta turning out normal...but who wants to be normal when screwed up is SO much more fun??!! :^)
22. MontanaJen said:
Proof positive that I need to pay more attention to my lawn than yours - when I saw him hit the dirt, all I could think of was, "Get Up! GET UP!! The tarantulas will get you!!! GET UP...."
23. Tiggerlane said:
Victory will be determined based on how long he has to lay in the yard like that.
Don't let him back in the house, Heather, unless he leaves the clogs outside!!
Love the dramatic ending(?)...you Armstrongs do NOT disappoint!
24. thisisdrew said:
must say I'm impressed by the helicopter audio mixed in. Or was that just a sample of some other suspense movie that just so happened to have a helicopter?
25. AmyFrances said:
You all have serious problems. On the other hand, I want to grow up to be just like you.
P.S. - Jon so reminds me of Dave Matthews. Does he get that a lot? Very sexy, sans clogs.
26. Angela said:
Haha. You guys are crazy, but I'm glad you have fun together.
I am also taking this as a win for the clogs. Woohoo!
27. The Mighty Jimbo said:
maybe you two need jobs.
i'm just sayin.
;-)
28. ahlain said:
Truly, an image of a man who desperately needs to get a job.
29. Jennifer in Kansas City said:
Thank God Chuck & Leta weren't harmed in the making of this film. ;)
30. mediaguy74 said:
Do you consider this working from home? :)
31. Mrs. Ricardo said:
LMAO! Who did the camera work, Chuck or Leta? Is there footage of Chuck licking the ketchup off of Jon's shirt?
Ya'll have got too much time on your hands.
Thanks for the laughs.
32. Valerie said:
Please don't take this the wrong way...but you guys are nerds! I mean that in the most loving and affectionate way. My husband is a nerd, too. Thanks for the laugh! That was great!
33. virgomezzo said:
HOLY CRAP, you guys are the cutest. I can only hope that your neighbors were gathered 'round, mebbe there was a craft service table, definitely someone to cater to the clog stunt double. A class operation, all the way.
34. Snickrsnack Katie said:
That is great! I love the music. But seriously, I really can't tell if Jon won or not. LOL
Thanks for making me chuckle.
35. gillyblack said:
Errrrr ..... I think someone needs a job. You two have too much thinking time!
36. blurb said:
I won, and it was a hard fought battle... they don't call them battle scars for nothing.
37. AndreaBT said:
Wait...I only saw one clog. (weren't there FOUR in the Chuck picture?) Did he die for JUST ONE CLOG???
Ah, the pointlessness of it all...that's war for you ;)
38. Momtowolf said:
Genius........perfect in every way
39. kidsmom said:
I'm not sure you two at home together all day is proving to be a healthy situation. I think Leta needs help supervising.
40. kelliamanda said:
Y'all are hilarious.
41. Molicious said:
I think ya'll have a bit too much time on your hands. But it was funny.
42. Julie said:
The neighbors have called the cops on you guys because of this, haven't they?
Viva la revolucion! :)
43. Pascha said:
Somebody had some extra time on their hands, no?
Hilarious! Nerdiness in its true form...there's nothing better!
44. Gora_Kagaz said:
haha! that was hilarious. were those ketchup stains on his shirt? and loved the die hard music as well. =D
45. katy66 said:
***waving Jimmy Choo 4EVA Flag***
Vive Le Beau Pied!
46. Annejelynn said:
so, where did you hide them?
47. sarabelle said:
You guys are too cute. This is just hilarious!
48. dre said:
HOLY CRAP!! I am laughing my ass off! Thank you for making my Friday!
p.s. Yesterday, I went into our local shoe store to see what all the fuss was over these Crocs... and came home with some adorable red ones! :) Viva la revolucion!!
49. Kate said:
Ha ha. jeah iMovie!
50. Maryse said:
those are some ugly ass shoes.
51. Liv said:
wow. that was great! and the oscar goes to...
52. PhotographerLori said:
That was good! :)
53. Beth in Michigan said:
Hilarious! A victory for clog loving gardeners everywhere! Do they make these in a 15? I need to get some for my husband. Oh, except he'll probably want to wear them with socks like his sandals. Sigh. Never mind.
54. brandy said:
OMG!
Please have more fictional wars just so that they end in short films...PLEASE!
He fought the good fight...but really in the end he died for what he loved and that is clogs and the right to wear them.
55. Workman said:
This is how war always ends, with death and destruction. But liberty prevailed. So there.
56. FishyGirl said:
Freaking hilarious. You guys rock.
57. William Beem said:
The movie did nothing for me. Obviously, this is a serious blow to John's manhood now that he's going to wear clogs again. Victory? I think not.
58. Elle said:
He was holding out, wasn't he? You gave in for the nookie.
Wear them long and proud, Jon! Clog Army 4-eva!
59. Laurie said:
We blog! We clog! :)
Great video, but what IS that on Jon's shirt?
60. Amanda B. said:
The horror. The horror...
61. bookworm said:
I've been on the edge of my seat for 2 days! Great movie, my boss is going to fire me!
62. EmmeJemme said:
HOORAY!!!!!! I'm so happy for Jon and laughing my butt off at that video. As soon as I saw the link I squealed. What made you cave Heather???
You guys are the absolute coolest people I know. I love you. I LOVE YOU!!!! (coughcough) I'm just saying...you know... I don't know any other family but mine that would do that. You guys rule. I want you to adopt me. Thank you for just being you. All of you.
So awesome...ROFL
63. Kerri said:
That was only the best ever! :D
64. sasha said:
Yes, the helicopter makes it.
Viva le Clog!
65. Ms Z said:
You two are a riot!! Just what I needed today! Glad to see you didn't try to flush the crocs like you did the beach towel...LOL! Or did you try and they kept floating to the top?
66. Fanneedoolee said:
OMG. I love you guys so much! (But I hate clogs.)
67. OutOfTune said:
Jeez.. time on your hands much? Why don't you two get jobs. *rolls eyes*.
Ha. just kidding.
Jobs are for suckers.
And you guys are hilarious. Congrats to Jon. I bet this is funnier with sound though - I'll have to watch again when i get home.
68. fred said:
At least he got his clogs back.. if even for a moment.
if he didnt get them back before he lost his life,then the terrorits have won. It shall all not be in vain.
69. Ms. Pants said:
Dead men don't wear clogs.
Dead clogs don't wear men, either.
70. leahkay said:
HAAAAAAAAAAAA!
71. MaineTracy said:
Does jon have poop on his shirt?
Did he win because he was able to dodge flying poop and grab the clog?
Did Leta and Chuck judge the final winner in this battle?
Will jon ever recover?
The film leaves more questions than it answers, when will part two come out?
Will he ever walk with two clogs again...
72. Z said:
I don't know what is more awesome, the score or the costumes in this particular flick. Well done. hehe.
73. iandavid said:
Shoe snob.
74. Elle said:
Noooooo!!! Must not believe the enemy propaganda!!!
Bill: "...he lived as he died...." - Barefoot and covered in ketchup?
Although I must say your whites are just gorgeous. Clorox®?
75. Varla said:
Damn, that was excellent. Is there NOTHING you two can't do? =)
76. BigA said:
Wonder what the neighbors thought of that one. Kind of like the episode zeFrank did the other day where he ran down his street in adult diapers and some old lady passed by.
Btw, was that Planet of the Apes soundtrack?
77. jes said:
With music and everything? The DRAMA.
78. far and away the farthest said:
Stunning! Obviously a victory for you Dooce, but the helicopter...I may injure myself laughing.
79. slickwilliejr said:
i think heather just feaered for the life of her precious pink shoes.
clog army, we speak your name!
80. Chantel said:
All over a clog eh?
I'm convinced to stay with my 3 inch heels forever. I don't want to end up like Jon.
81. Rose said:
Viva le clog!
It isn't a total victory until we see photographic evidence of dooce's feet in pink crocs.
Resistance is futile.
82. riot_siren said:
So I guess that’s proof to all women to never stand between your man and his footwear. Also, the neighbors now know for SURE that those Armstrong folks are trouble.
83. Maiken said:
I had to watch the movie twice because I really like your house!! The clog war will be a story for generations.
84. Sara said:
I love the sound effects and blood on Jon's shirt. This is quality entertainment!
85. Mitzi said:
Ya'll are so retarded. I love it.
86. anniewaits said:
Live by the clog, die by the clog.
87. jon deal said:
Viva La Rivoluzione!
This casualty shall not go unavenged!
Or something like that.
88. IrishKat said:
I'm sending the link to my cousin in LA. He does slasher films.
89. Sharkey said:
Um, you guys have WAAAAAY too much time on your hands.
Hilarious!
90. dawn444 said:
I wuv you guys!!
91. Denise said:
hahaha the helicopter! oh i hope there were some neighbors nearby wondering what the hell you two were doing.
92. Ezada said:
OMG, that was great!
93. JC said:
awesome. you two are too much. :)
94. laquet said:
Thank goodness he bought it on the lawn ... imagine the mess inside the house?!!?
p.s. Are you sure you destroyed ALL the evidence?
95. Wicked H said:
Operation Recover Lost Clogs, completed.
God Bless covert ops!
96. the niffer said:
I love the longing look just before he lays his head down to die. Drama queen.
97. Snickrsnack Katie said:
Your next masthead:
Dooce: Blog Against the Clog - Since 2006
98. ktjane said:
this clip makes me wish i knew you guys in real life. you've got to be the two coolest people ever! SO FUNNY!
99. Lady Bug said:
Holy hell, that was seriously funny.
100. Chase said:
This scares me. In so many delicious ways.
101. Jacko said:
A friend of mine recently introduced me to your site and now I'm hooked. You write exactly how I wish I could. It's great!
102. Maria said:
You're such nerds!... But the battle reports have been so entertaining, and the snapshot to link to the video is priceless. How could you resist?
103. MissLissa said:
LMAO! You guys are awesome!
But I'm inclined to agree with some of the others here - you two have WAY too much time on your hands! Apparently Leta and Chuck aren't cracking the whip enough!
104. Cadbury said:
shouldn't the headline at Dooce be:
Defeet!
and Jon declaring victory?
105. KelliT61903 said:
I nearly peed myself. I wish I could convey to my husband the hilarity of Clog Wars.
106. vivaciousj said:
I'm ready for the sequel. Y'all left us hanging!
A fan,
Jinny
107. strawberrygoldie said:
Oh. My. God.
I needed that, after a day of being pregnant and waiting on the most HORRIBLE people on earth.
My first laugh of the day! Thank you. Thank you.
108. anneelizmary said:
Clogacious!
109. angela marie said:
I would TOTALLY love to be your neighbor. Not the taxidermist, but someone who would bring poptarts or Doritos anytime I saw an injured Armstrong falling onto the grass.
110. fernicus said:
The Great Battle of Clog appears to have left Jon incapacitated. Quick woman - victory is at hand. Grab the clog and run as fast as you can in your fashionable shoes.....................
111. monkey said:
Omg. I may have peed myself.
112. glumica said:
I think you guys are having fun, this is great entertainment, love reading this every day, etc... One thing that bothers me are people sucking up to you with their posts. Honestly, sometimes it's like being in high school again and listening to people say 'Oh teacher! The way you teach frog intestines is just precious!'. You know what I mean? Sort of strange coming from a whole bunch of grown ups, nerds or not.
113. GingerCostaRica said:
you guys never had time to do stuff like this, before you know...when you had a 'real' job.
114. Bird Lover said:
As I watched the video I shook my head in disbelief. Y'all are crazy. The "we need to drink together sometime" kind of crazy.
Also, when I saw the image of Tim McGraw (on Blurb's site) in Cornflower Blue clogs (!) I gasped at the offense. I had to look away for fear of the image searing my corneas.
115. Lisa V said:
I so hope you guys got those at payless. Because those ugly ass clogs do not deserve the full price they are asking for the real ones. I got some for the garden at payless, at like $10.
116. Kung Foodie said:
Yay! Bloody domestic clog battles are my favorite! I only wish you were posting all your vids on Youtube. I'm not sure why. Maybe cause I'm addicted to that site, and the that Chuck video just seems so lonely on there by itself.
117. doow said:
Fantastic.
118. Jamie said:
Aw, man! Well, I guess if the damn shoes were so important to him, he can have them.
This was a riot! Thanks!
119. M said:
VIVE Le CLOGS!!! right arm - Jon! Love the soundtrack too. One has to wonder tho....will there be a retaliationary move from the clogcamp?....If I were U missy...I would put those strappy pink things under lock and key! .......
120. rivetergirl said:
The agony of the victory is worth the smell of defeat.
121. vegasandvenice said:
Yay! The Horrible Reign the Tyrant Clog is Over!
122. Jennifer in Ohio said:
Oh, Heather. This does not bode well. What fashion atrocities will he attempt now that he has succeeded in liberating the clogs? White patent leather shoes? Floods? The possibilities are endless.
Just make sure that there aren't any Leta-size clogs in that house.
123. Courtney said:
Awesome. I'm laughing my Birks off!
Down with Crocs!
124. Radical Pie said:
Who won? I think Jon is just spinning it his direction.
125. patchuga said:
Vive le clog!
My six year old son saw the clip and said, "That man sure loves his shoes, doesn't he?" and walked away shaking his head.
I wanted to say, "This, son, is what happens when you live with a shoe-fashion control freak. Remember this when choosing your wife. That could be YOU on the lawn, bloodied and battered, fighting for your right to clog!"
126. Piglet said:
That is fabulous! Wars in the Armstrong camp are FUN!!!
Great music with the video. I see a new doors opening up for the Armstrong Media :)!
127. ritsgirl said:
Funny. When I saw Jon on the ground the first thing that came to mind was...Hurry! Get up! You know there are TARANTULAS crawling around.
128. TripTikGirl said:
I love love LOVE it! :D
129. Elle said:
In response to Glumica and the sucking up they think posters do here - according to urbandictionary.com the definition of suck up is "One who patronizes a person in a sickenly manner, usually ostenting to "sum points" with that person or enhance their friendship easily."
Being a loyal fan and letting Heather know how much we dig her kid, dog, house, haircut, delicious cookie concoction making ability...the list is truly endless, isn't sucking up. It's letting her know that what she devotes a major part of her life to is resonating with people, that what she does is valued, enjoyed and respected. We love our Dooce and we want her to know it. There's no patronizing going on here.
130. dinis said:
Oh. My. God. That was hilarious.
Even though he looks like a zombie on that still picture.
131. J_Bo said:
Is that bbq sauce all over Jon's shirt? I'm pretty much anti-croc, but they're all the rage with the kids.
http://cesioroujamais.blogspot.com/2006/06/thats-croc.html
132. kim from germany said:
AWESOME!! although i feel a little bad for mr. armstrong... :)
133. kim from germany said:
oh, okay maybe not. looks like this was HIS victory...??? me's confused..?
134. marymuses said:
Hilarious! I guess there's not much that can come between a man and his ugly shoes. (Spoken from experience as the girlfriend of a man who insists it's okay to still wear his Air Jordans from high school.)
135. thejoyof said:
Hope there was a car driving by at that same moment. Does he only have the one clog?
136. monkeyaker said:
Um, can I please have your job?
137. Wendy Mac said:
J_Bo above asked if that was bbq sauce on his shirt.
I read that it said "Blog Sauce".
138. saywha? said:
You two are retards. I mean that in the nicest way, I swear. So where is the other croc? I say, rock on with your croc on Jon.
139. Meretrice said:
I was hoping towards the end of the video Jon was going to pass the clogs off to Leta and with his dying breath tell her to keep them safe. Or maybe have Chuck gnawing on them like a pig ear.
Ok, ok... Spielberg I'm not.
Great video!
April
140. Ryan said:
I wonder what the neighbors thought...
141. Stephanie B said:
Noooo! Damn, I HATE those things.
142. Talon said:
VICTORY FOR COMFORT OVER FASHION!!!
Sorry Heather...*grins* YAY CLOGS!!!
The worms clog in, the worms clog out...they steal your clogs and wear them out...on the town...and...stuff...things...snails...
...
I think I've had enough of both elipises and starbucks today...
143. poisondarts said:
wow... you guys were drama geeks in high school, right? =)
144. Sieue said:
Oh. my. god. You did not just use the music from Puppet Rapist!
145. AnitaBonita said:
Dude.....
You are too damn funny!
146. The Bold Soul said:
Oh, dear God, I think you made me pee my pants! The way he raises his head and takes one last, loving look at his clog!
One day, I hope Leta fully appreciates how totally cool her parents are.
147. DinerGirl said:
Are those melted crah-ons on his shirt? I mean crowns?
148. Sandy said:
love it!!!!
149. Nancy Smith said:
Heather, all you have to do is leave the crocs in the car on a hot, sunny day. They shrink! They are so popular in Los Angeles right now, even the hookers on Hollywood Blvd. are wearing them. I wrote about them on my blog, http://rightbrainedgal.typepad.com/my_weblog/2006/05/i_am_coming_cle.htm...
Loved the clip. Love your sense of humor.
150. freecave said:
Ummm, I don't wish to create any question of your and Jon's relationship, or to create gender stereotypes, etc. But does he not realize that those plastic, pretty clogs are....um....for females. Really, the ones with the holes and the strap. Ya, for girls, for sure. Sorry Jon. Go buy some birkenstocks. A little more masculine.
151. HighlandAmy said:
That was awesome!
Thanks for posting it.
152. Monica said:
I think I pee in my pants with so much laughing... My day is not complete unless I stop by your world... is that chocolate on his shirt? Hilarious, keep them coming!
153. Lakotajo2 said:
Hmm, Jon has the clog, but now Jon is dead. So who won?
154. DivineDiva said:
THE WAR TO END ALL WARS......
Whatever would I do with out your site dooce? I am telling you its like mommy crack for the soul!
155. Nothing But Bonfires said:
I tried some clogs on today -- partly to confirm their hideousness and partly because I was stuck in the World's Largest Outdoor Store and it was either that or climb a faux wall while my traveling partner looked at backpacks. (We're driving across the states at the moment and this theme park of a store was in Denver. Which seems to be the clog capital of the country. At least I tried them on in hot pink. But yes -- hideousness confirmed.)
156. mattd said:
If you look closely, you'll see The Former Congressman in the background sunning himself. He's oblivious to his dying master. Or, maybe someone of his stature doesn't have time for such tom foolery.
157. Angela said:
Funniest Shit! You guys Fucking Kick Ass! Life would be worthless without you and your spare time to do dumb ass funny shit!
158. margalit said:
Vive le crocs! You go, John!
159. victoria said:
Reminds me of Joel and Ethan Coen's film school work.
160. womanrat said:
An ode to a misguided Clog Warrior:
Jon Blurbomat, here he lies
Clutching one clog and catching flies
BEWARE young children! For when he wakes
The pair of that HORRID clog he will come to take!
161. StampyDurst said:
Fuckin' awesome. Between that and the Hitler cats, you've made me smile all week. Thanks, as always.
162. Cindi in Illinois said:
My first thought when I saw the "messy" tee shirt was that he had to dig them out from the same place you found the beach towel a while back. Eeew. Nice dramatic effect with the dark circles under Jon's eyes. Obviously from all the sleepless angst filled nights wondering where his beloved clogs were! Love the soundtrack! You two are a hoot! The sequel should show Heather being taken away in handcuffs.
I had to wonder also what your neighbors must think! Too funny! I'm glad Jon got his clogs back...even if they are kinda funny looking. If his refusal to give up his clogs is your biggest problem then all is well in the Armstrong household.
Someone posted a link to Bloomingdale's Prima Ballet slip on crocs...those were cute!
163. April-Lyn Caouette said:
The first time I watched this, I was at work sans sound, and was very confused. The dramatic music really made all the difference. :) Good job.
My 19 year-old brother has a pair of those crocs in lime green. They may be ugly as sin, but at least they don't smell! Would you rather Jon had smelly feet?
164. Mack'sMom said:
Only death could allow for a victory!
What were your neighbors thinking? Can you only imagine! "Heather finally snapped!! And she's taping the entire thing!"
165. Esther said:
Nooo.
Time for a rebuttal.
166. eddeaux said:
So much drama around your household! I'm envious - of the drama and definitely not envious of the Croc's. What type of dude wears Crocs? I think Jon could pull it off because he looks like he should be driving a hybrid vehicle and wearing crocs and wearing and iPod and an "I Love Apple/Mac" shirt and drinking a Starbucks. mmmmmm.... starbucks... see you later.
167. Sweetie-darling said:
You guys rock! It must be so much fun to live at your house (sewer issues notwithstanding). Though I am concerned by the totalitarian anti-clog dictatorship you have declared, and the ruthless measures you have taken to try to suppress the Clog Liberation Organization Guerillas. Not that I'm pro-CLOG - quite the contrary. I think clogs are nasty. But I am pro-choice. After all, one of the things that makes our country great is freedom! Freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom to wear whatever hideous fashion choices make you happy, no matter how offensive they are to the eyes of others . . .
168. Donny said:
What makes this even funnier are all the comments.
I have to tell you, I never gave clogs a second look at the store. After this series of entries I'm going to try some on and maybe buy them. :)
169. hickman1215 said:
Been reading your blog for awhile but just got the nerve to comment. You guys are great! You speak how I think!
1. Nils Ling said:
Kill Bill (er, Jon) Volume III, starring Uma Thurman as Dooce ...
170. leaseuhd said:
Oh My God! HILARIOUS! all i could do was laugh and clap - excellent -
171. Kate said:
An Oscar-worthy performance. Bravo Jon, bravo.
172. Princess Leia said:
General Kenobi, years ago you served my father in the Clog Wars, now he begs you to aid him in his struggle agains the Dooce Empire! I regret that my ship has fallen under attack and my mission to bring you to Alderran has failed. I have placed information vital to the survival of the Footwear Rebellion in Chuck's brain. Give Leta some M&Ms and she will show you how to retrive it. You must see Chuck safely delivered to him on Alderran. Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi...you're my only hope!
173. meredith said:
très rigolo!