As Real As It May Seem
Last night I had a dream that I gave birth to a 15lb baby boy through my belly button. He came out feet first wearing matching little blue sneakers and a plaid fishing hat, and the whole labor was entirely painless. I just pulled him out by the sneakers, and plop, there he was.
I know that if I actually gave birth to a baby who was wearing clothes when he came out of the womb that I'd be quarantined and that they'd take him away and do all sorts of tests, but when I woke up from that dream I was honestly a little disappointed that it wasn't true. I mean, having a baby who not only comes equipped with his own clothes but is evolved enough to know how to match them, that is the type of baby I can get behind.
Have you ever had weird pregnancy dreams?
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FM Living
shlee said:
i once dreamt that i gave birth to my own mother... and wouldn't you know it, she immediately began harping on me about the amount of debt i'm in. i refrained from analyzing that one because, well, it's rather obvious. on a side note dooce, just want to tell you that you are by far the most entertaining bloggerina on the web. keep 'em coming.
06.26.03 - 03:58 PM / 1Chad said:
No I have never had them. I hope that's a good sign, being that I am a male and all.
06.26.03 - 04:12 PM / 2Erica said:
You pulled him out yourself? Overachiever.
06.26.03 - 04:30 PM / 3pd said:
I dreamt that my roommate from college had triplet boys. When I told her about it, she swore that if my dream came true, she'd drop two of them off at my doorstep.
06.26.03 - 04:37 PM / 4christine said:
My recurring pregnancy dream was that the baby came out talking in full sentences. As uninteresting as this sounds, when you have one of these dreams, it will freak you out for awhile. It is very unsettling.
I also always dreamt that the baby's arm was able to push out through my belly button and I could just touch it like we were saying "hey!" to each other.
06.26.03 - 04:47 PM / 5melissa said:
a couple of weeks ago i dreamt that i gave birth to two stripey kittens and when i tried to breastfeed them, they just shredded me with their tiny vicious teeth! of course, you'd have to know my cat to understand this fully...anyway, why haven't i had any normal birthing dreams where i get to meet my 'bundle of joy' and wake up feeling fulfilled? hell, i'm 38 weeks...cut a girl a break, already. labor's going to be hard *enough*...
06.26.03 - 05:06 PM / 6pixelkitty said:
just dreaming Im pregnant is enough to freak me out.
had a scare this month - getting sick every morning but the test came back negative - time will tell.
I think matching blue sneakers would be hella cool though.
06.26.03 - 05:10 PM / 7QueenBee said:
I had a dream a few years back that I had given birth to a bag of giant marshmallows...
And then the doctors just stood there and ate them in front of me.
I have pregnancy dreams/nightmares all of the time, but that one takes the cake.
06.26.03 - 05:22 PM / 8the mighty jimbo said:
uh no. but if i do, i think there would be more to worry about than just the dreams.
06.26.03 - 05:23 PM / 9eddeaux said:
Wow! Women have all the fun. If you have a sex change can you get pregnant? It would be worth it for the vivid psycho dreams, the bloating, the cramps, the morning sickness, the swollen joints, the constipation, the menstreul cycles, sitting when I have to pee...
06.26.03 - 05:27 PM / 10leslie said:
When my former partner and I started thinking about having a baby, the dreams started immediately. The one that is most vivid in my mind took place in a Subway, where I proceded to give birth and eat a hoagie at the same time. The baby's name? Let's all say it together: "Jared."
06.26.03 - 05:38 PM / 11Melissa said:
A DIY delivery...how fitting.
I predict a boy for you. I knew my son was a boy at 5 weeks pregnant based solely on a dream.
I have spoken.
06.26.03 - 05:53 PM / 12Janna said:
YES! All the time... My dreams are usually quite peaceful, and my thoughts are pleasant--"Look at what we've created, honey, a beautiful baby...". And then I realize, in my dream, "Oh, shit, I'm a seventeen year old virgin, how the hell did this happen?" And I wake up in tears and sweat and wonder what the heck is wrong with my subconscious mind.
06.26.03 - 06:11 PM / 13pretty_paranoia said:
I once had a dream that I was pregnant to my ex boyfriend and that my mum was so happy about it she was buying me a car, a lime greem holden gemini.
It was more like a nightmare seeing-as-tho I hate my ex and my mother would NOT be happy.
06.26.03 - 06:12 PM / 14Jess said:
My husband and I both dreamed one night that I was pregnant with twins!
06.26.03 - 06:15 PM / 15Hilary said:
When I was pregnant about once every week I would dream about having the baby and not having anything ready--no crib, no diapers, nothing. It totally freaked me out. Then one day I realized that it would make no difference to the baby what kind of fabulous room it had, and that I should just relax. I guess that's not so weird.
06.26.03 - 06:21 PM / 16Xiobhan said:
Let me just say that I am not, nor have I ever been, pregnant. (But we are kinda trying.) Let me also say, that I am a crazy dreamer. Here's my recurring pregnancy dream: I'm, like, 17 months pregnant and no hospital will take me. They take one look and lock the door. So we just drive on and I just keep getting bigger, and bigger and bigger and I start to fill the backseat of the car and then they can't get me out. Wacky, huh?
06.26.03 - 06:26 PM / 17April said:
Nope.
06.26.03 - 06:34 PM / 18Don said:
My only pregnancy dream was the night following my first and only viewing of "Junior." If you haven't seen "Junior" do yourself a favor and rent possibly the greatest film ever.
06.26.03 - 06:53 PM / 19Anvita said:
I havent dreamt yet, but my dream baby would be toilet-trained and puke-proof.
06.26.03 - 07:47 PM / 20SJ said:
You will have many, crazy, mind-blowing dreams. I was so scared to actually spawn that I dreamt I gave birth to sweet little kittens. My husband put them in my lap and they were all purring, and I thought, "Oh, this is so much better than a real baby." I like the real baby better than kittens now.
06.26.03 - 08:31 PM / 21Coyote said:
Every woman I've ever known who's been pregnant has had at least one whacko birth dream.
I once dreamed (while I was pregnant) that I gave birth to a giant banana. I had to peel it in order to get the baby out. I swear to god.
I also dreamed of giving birth to a puppy. Oddly enough, even though it seemed kinda bizarre, I was perfectly okay with it.
I wonder what Chuck will think of *your* new 'puppy'?
06.26.03 - 08:40 PM / 22Taylor said:
No, but the other night I had a dream about you dying and it was in the headlines. The whole nation was upset and I was in tears screaming "NO SHE WAS ON THE VERGE!" and that's all I could scream...no, I'm not a psycho I just need to get out more often. Congrats on the B!!
06.26.03 - 08:53 PM / 23Christina said:
I once dreamt I was going into labor in my high school gym, then my veterinarian showed up to deliver. I freaked, but she kept reassuring me she had plenty of practice from all the puppies and kittens she had delivered!
06.26.03 - 08:58 PM / 24Kevynn Malone said:
No, but now I will. Thanks a lot, Dooce.
06.26.03 - 10:51 PM / 25Suzette said:
Definitely dream for puke-proof as Anvita says. I had a 'chucker' and wearing vomit all the time isn't fun. I can't remember any of the dreams I had, although I know I had some wacky ones - the details are gone. Once the baby arrives, sleep is so precious - the sleep I get now is very deep and satisfying (albeit in short snatches) and I rarely remember dreams.
06.27.03 - 01:13 AM / 26Natasha said:
Two nights ago I dreamed that I was pregnant with identical twin boys. I was having an ultrasound, and the technician said, "Oh, wonderful, they're identical." Then she said, "And they're boys," and even in the dream I just felt so disappointed, as if my every chance for having a girl just went out the window. Then I woke up and felt guilty for being disappointed.
06.27.03 - 02:16 AM / 27Michelle said:
I, too, had those dreams where the baby came out the size of a toddler and spoke very articulately to us. Also had the one where I could see and feel his limbs through my stomach, as if my skin were made of thinly stretched silly putty. Oh, and I also had a dream in which I was breastfeeding my child but looked down and it was my cat, and I was amazed that it's teeth weren't hurting me. Get ready, Dooce - I've got a 12-week-old and it's amazing but it certainly gets weirder. And lots more fun.
06.27.03 - 03:23 AM / 28Beth said:
I had a dream I got triplets off of eBay. I couldn't afford all the things I needed for the babies, so I just ended up buying enough bottles for the 3 babies and one of everything else -- the babies were so tiny it was no problem fitting all three in one car seat, one stroller, etc. When they out-grew the one car seat I figured I'd give them away. At least two of them... Obviously, I'm not ready for parenthood.
06.27.03 - 04:06 AM / 29coralie said:
oh man, have i had weird pregnancy dreams! too many & too mixed up to write in here. the only one i've had that had my own supposed child in it was where i had a dark-haired little five year old. she was really pretty .. that's about all i remember from it.
the others are a total mix, from weird to sexy to downright pornographic .. :-D
06.27.03 - 04:07 AM / 30