Death to Ed
This morning my doctor forcibly evicted the basal cell carcinoma from my arm. In the past week he has become an unruly tenant, has been drunkenly yelling at his cat in the middle of the night. His new home is a small, plastic container that is right now being delivered to a dark laboratory. There he will spend the rest of his short life being examined, researched, and playing shuffle board with all the other excised cancers whose owners say they're going to call but never do.
I had Jon take a picture of Ed this morning before we sent him to die alone in a pool of his own urine. He was a handsome fellow:
Those stitches are what my doctor had to use to close up the chunk she took out for the initial biopsy. When I came home that afternoon, Leta noticed the prickly ends of the stitches and then contorted her face into a shape that made me think she had just witnessed a man smelling his own feet. "Yucky!" she screamed. "It's a bug!"
Here's what Ed's home looks like now:
The procedure was mostly painless, except for the initial needle prick when she numbed the area. When she said that she was going to have to send him off for another biopsy, I asked if afterward the lab could package him up and send him back to me. Maybe via UPS. She said probably not, and also? That she probably wouldn't want to get to know me in real life.
The bad news is that today she found two other places on my body that she wants to have removed, a mole on my stomach and one on my back. These other two places actually look worse than the one on my arm, I just never really noticed them because they are in places usually covered entirely by clothing. So it's not over yet. I know it won't ever really be over, so much damage has been done already that I'm going to spend the rest of my life as a slave to sunscreen and the operating table at my doctor's office.
Please look at these horrible pictures and cover yourself up. Put sunscreen on yourself and especially on your kids. Every day. Every single day.
You must have a dooce® Community account to leave a comment.
If you've already registered, login.
If this is your first time posting here, snag a free account.
FM Living
Arty Steph said:
I'm going to be outside all day tomorrow for a concert, and believe me, I will be completely covered in the highest SPF I can possibly get my hands! Stitches scare me. . . .
07.20.06 - 09:36 AM / 1HollyRhea.com said:
Sending you my concern. Fight it like a mutha', Dooce.
07.20.06 - 09:36 AM / 2Arty Steph said:
oh oh and i was the first comment! but now i'm all concerned about the moles i have on my back, i'm going ot have to go to the doctor.
best wishes, dooce :)
07.20.06 - 09:38 AM / 3Devlyn said:
Not to sound all "holier-than-thou" or anything, but with skin cancers running in my family (so far none than are malignant, thank goodness), I keep myself nice and white the whole year round.
Ed is dead! Long live Ed! And now? You'll have another tough scar. Rawr!
07.20.06 - 09:38 AM / 4jolie said:
I'm getting a weird red spot on my forearm checked next week. thanks for instilling the fear of god, erm um, cancer in me. I say that in complete earnestness.
as my mom says: "chin up, chest out (such as it is)" - freakouts aside, it sounds like you're handling this like a champ.
07.20.06 - 09:39 AM / 5Kim E said:
Far too many young people suffer from skin cancer as it's a 'won't happen to ME' disease. Thank you for getting the word out. It's an important warning.
07.20.06 - 09:39 AM / 6oublionslepasse said:
youch.
I'm so naive. When I saw the very first pictures on this post I thought they were the after shots.
Going to take an SPF 85 bath....
07.20.06 - 09:41 AM / 7ash said:
Now I'm applying sunscreen I'm sure "too much" whenever I'm in the pool, which is a lot. But I feel safer now. And those pictures make me understand why the crazy people in Arizona are white as white can be. It could also be because I'm not a fan of stiches or needles.
07.20.06 - 09:42 AM / 8Womanwithkids said:
Goodbye Ed. Nice knowin' you, don't let the door yer ass on the way out!
07.20.06 - 09:43 AM / 9Seacreature said:
The fear is now set in my brain. It's screaming at me. SUNSCREEEEEEEEEENN!!!!
Thank you for sharing those pictures of Ed. Good luck with the rest of the procedures.
07.20.06 - 09:43 AM / 10theboysmom said:
Thank you for proving that I'm not a complete fool for being so concerned that my sons are covered from head to foot in SPF 6000. Have a pint or two of ice cream - you deserve it.
07.20.06 - 09:44 AM / 11Alotta Errata said:
Heather thank you so much for posting these pictures. I've seen the warning photos on cancer sites but they just don't seem real. I'm amazed at how easy it would be to overlook something like Ed. He is entirely ignorable.
I'm glad he's gone though, and hopefully he'll take his friends with him. There is nothing like a guest that overstays their welcome.
I'll keep you in my thoughts, best wishes and fast recovery!
07.20.06 - 09:46 AM / 12mamamiacanuck said:
Now you've got me scared shitless over a couple of moles I have..and probably rightly so! Fake orange lotion-made tan, here I come!
07.20.06 - 09:46 AM / 13William said:
RIP Ed.
07.20.06 - 09:47 AM / 14lousoz said:
Good riddance to Ed!
And about those other areas...hopefully it's just a matter of cut and gone. I know it's not pleasant getting them removed, but the sooner they are off your body the better.
Does your doctor recommend one type of sunscreen over another? ( just curious)
07.20.06 - 09:47 AM / 15Renae said:
Yikes! Best wishes for a speedy recovery Heather.
07.20.06 - 09:48 AM / 16DivineDiva said:
hola woman! I am sending you all my love in the form of a big shady hat, jackie -o glasses, sunscreen..and a bottle of tequila. Well maybe my better-than-sex cake too..(believe me you it sometimes is!) ((If I can part with it)) We shall farewell ED & his cohorts ,the molettes aka ED&EDDY, and kick those unruly little subtenants out! The lease is up !
Ok enough rambling, Take care and relax today!oh by the way...HAPPY BIRTHDAY...MRS. Dooce Armstrong.. Happy Birhtday to you! Cha-Cha-Cha!!
07.20.06 - 09:48 AM / 17Bob LeDrew - Flacklife said:
I'm another BWC... that would be blogger with cancer. I got diagnosed two weeks ago with bladder cancer (I know, I know, shoulda been putting sunscreen on that son-of-a-gun, but it's so hard to reach).
Courage, Heather. Keep writing and shooting pictures. I love your blog.
07.20.06 - 09:48 AM / 18jw said:
Use this as an excuse to get drunk.
Oh, wait, you don't need an excuse, do you?
Be well!!!!
Ooops. Sorry. Be WELL.
07.20.06 - 09:51 AM / 19jes said:
Oh, God.
A) Heather, I'm glad you had this spot removed.
B) Heather, I'm sad for you that MORE places on your body have become the newest intrigue for your doctor.
C) Heather, now I'm scared to take the trash out without putting on sunscreen first.
Good thing I have a husband for chores like that.
07.20.06 - 09:52 AM / 20Jeni said:
Good message, Dooce. Try not to worry too much.
07.20.06 - 09:52 AM / 21Jill Shalvis said:
Amen to covering up. Hugs to you and yours on the procedure and the stress.
07.20.06 - 09:53 AM / 22Eatmisery said:
I'm glad you got Ed taken care of, but I'm sorry to hear that there's more Eds now. I will heed your sage advice to slather my children with sunscreen. After all, their lives really do depend on it. Best wishes, Heather!
07.20.06 - 09:53 AM / 23arline said:
big family vacation coming up. have SPF 50 for the very, very fair-skinned child. varying SPFs for darker skinned self and husband...
belated happy b-day and good riddance to ed!
07.20.06 - 09:55 AM / 24Jennifer Schutz said:
I know this will be me in a few years. I spent 5 years as a lifeguard. I abhor sunscreen (and lotion, and makeup, and anything else that goes on my face), and I'm ungodly pale, so I used to soak up the sun all day, all summer long. I'm going to pay for my stupidity with cancer and wrinkles.
Thinking good thoughts for you. Those stiches do look like a gross bug. Now at least you can tell Leta that if she doesn't wear her sunscreen, the gross bugs will get her too. THAT would have gotten me to wear sunscreen.
07.20.06 - 09:55 AM / 25bellybuttonbugs said:
Ok, so I think you should name the others Edette and Edwina.
Nasty pics but glad for you it's out.
Treat yourself to a nice large glass of your preferred tipple tonight. You deserve it.
07.20.06 - 09:57 AM / 26Pandemonium said:
Oh, I feel queasy!
Wishing you the very best. And a happy belated birthday!
07.20.06 - 09:58 AM / 27thejoyof said:
Thanks for the post Heather - was Ed raised above the skin before it was cut? I have a weird new mark on my leg and may get it checked out...
07.20.06 - 09:58 AM / 28rivetergirl said:
Thanks, Heather, for sharing your story. Some may think that skin cancer is no big deal and it can be if it's treated early. It's really nothing to mess with. I hope your readers take your advice and cover up.
07.20.06 - 10:01 AM / 29heathabee said:
Thank you dooce, for sharing your experience with us. I have gotten myself worked up into a bonified tizzy the past few months with all the articles coming out about skin cancer and sunburns and the like. I am extremely fair skinned and have had probably close to 10-12 serious sunburns in my life. "They" (oh, them) say, that having 5 really bad sunburns in life up your chances of having skin cancer by 55%. This scares the hell out of me.
I am sending you positive thoughts, prayers and many well wishes for a speedy, painless recovery and that all the results show is that you caught the skin cnacer soon enough! It's a great way to teach Leta to be sun-smart too!
:)
07.20.06 - 10:01 AM / 30