Poker face
My friend called yesterday in a mild panic to tell me that her daughter who is two days older than Leta had figured out how to climb out of her crib. She and I read the same children's sleep book, and I asked her if she had gone back to see what it said about situations like this. She said the advice was a little crazy, that she should lock the door and if the kid gets out of the crib to let her fall asleep on the floor. And also? That she shouldn't worry if the kid falls while hoisting her body over the railing because the risk of injury is negligible. A scientific expert is suggesting that babies can bounce.
I don't remember that chapter of the book, but it doesn't really matter because I'm ignoring the possibility that Leta will ever need to sleep in a bed without bars. However, I'm afraid that if we don't transition her from the crib into a regular bed soon that we will be facing a battle we could have otherwise avoided. A few months ago we began putting Leta into two-minute time-outs in a small chair against a wall in the living room. I was worried, knowing very well the magnitude of her will in the past (see: that one time she went 30 hours without eating just to prove a point), that she would realize that she could just get up out of the chair and walk away. And the first time we did it she did exactly that, hopped out of the chair, walked over to the book she had thrown across the room, picked it up and looked at me like, do you have any other orders that I can willfully disregard?
I put her right back in the chair, though, and continued to do so when she got up for a second and third time. It was after the third time that her lip began quivering with the realization that, oh my god, this woman is serious, life is a prison. Since that first episode she has never moved an inch when we put her into a time-out, and afterward she won't even look in the direction of whatever it is that got her in trouble in the first place. She is very much like Chuck this way, and whenever we find a stuffed animal with a missing limb -- a duck with no beak, a bunny with no cotton tail, an octopus with only three remaining tentacles -- all we have to do is show it to him and he will incriminate himself by collapsing on the floor with his ears glued to the back of his head, his eyes darting wildly around the room to look at something, anything other than the amputee, his entire body full of dread that I will put that toy on his head and take a picture of it to show thousands of people.
I like to believe that we got in our bluff early with Leta, and that maybe if we put her into a regular bed soon she will remain in it until we give her an indication that it's okay to get out. Not likely, I know, and it will require a bit of work on our part, but she is taking our disciplinary routine so seriously that yesterday she put the cow figurine from Noah's Ark into a time-out on Elmo's potty.
"TWO MINUTES!" she screamed while pointing an angry finger into the cow's face. "SIT THERE FOR TWO MINUTES!"
Those delinquent, biblical cows are always causing trouble.
It didn't move, of course, and she stood a few feet away with her arms crossed over her chest knowing that it had to stay put because she said so. I think I have just pulled off the ultimate parental coup in that my child now believes that BECAUSE I SAID SO requires no further explanation.
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FM Living
Kevin Worthington said:
I have to remember these tips for when my wife and I have kids...
08.09.06 - 09:47 AM / 1CJ mama said:
40. The number of times I had to get up and put my 2 year old son back in bed at one particular naptime shortly after we moved him from crib to bed. I'm determined to find a better way with my daughter.
08.09.06 - 09:51 AM / 2typingelbow said:
Congrats, Heather! Sounds like a whole new chapter of parenting has begun. BECAUSE I SAID SO!
08.09.06 - 09:53 AM / 3angiewis said:
Ugh, the thought of transitioning to a big kid bed for my 2 1/2 year old scares me to death!
08.09.06 - 09:56 AM / 4feministbitch said:
Congratulations, Heather! I think getting a two year old to stay in a time out is a HUGE accomplishment, worthy of at least a mild celebration (somewhere between Mormon and Girls Gone Wild). (-:
08.09.06 - 09:56 AM / 5bellybuttonbugs said:
Have you been watching Supernanny?
I guess it could be worse, Leta could be shoving the cow's head down into the potty and making it stay there for 2 minutes.
08.09.06 - 09:57 AM / 6Jennifer in Ohio said:
We waited a really long time to put the kiddo into a toddler bed. She never tried to climb out of her crib, so we didn't feel the need. But, by the time she turned three, we felt it was time regardless. We secured her dresser and bookcase to the walls and got a super strong gate for her room (no places for her to put her feet so she can climb over). In fact, we didn't have to install the gate- we bought a pressure mounted gate (called the "hands free gate"- I LOVE IT!!).
She loves her new big girl bed. Just loves it. Everybody warned me that she would be screaming at the gate night after night, but they couldn't be more wrong.
At nap time, she did try to get out of napping and would just play with her toys, but those days we just put her to bed earlier. I told her that she would get two hours of quiet time regardless of whether she napped or not, and she finally "got it".
Good luck :)
08.09.06 - 09:58 AM / 7MaggieBelle said:
I'm SO using "BECAUSE I SAID SO!" when my baby is old enough.
I will also use "Because I'm the mom!"
08.09.06 - 09:59 AM / 8Angela Kriger said:
Well, and if the "Because I said so" doesn't work to keep her in the bed, there's always superglue and duct tape.
08.09.06 - 09:59 AM / 9chelle said:
I have one word for you: Supernanny
I have eight words for you: I adore So You Think You Can Dance!
Good Luck with the big girl bed thing...
08.09.06 - 10:01 AM / 10Mike-L said:
My wife and I are expecting our first in November (it's a girl!), and we can't even get our dogs to sit. I hope in two years time I can get our little girl to obey a time out - if not, what are your feelings on Duct Tape as a child monitoring device?
08.09.06 - 10:03 AM / 11s gazzetti said:
We're at the point of considering the transition to a 'big-kid' bed, too. We thought about it and then decided to just staple chickenwire over the top of the crib.
08.09.06 - 10:03 AM / 12Snickrsnack Katie said:
Wow, for a two year old to stay put in time-out is one thing. For a two year old to start giving time-outs to her toys, that is pretty cool.
My 20 month old niece will sit on the time-out chair facing the wall and she will force herself to stop screaming long enough to pretend like she is having fun. She will put her hands up against the wall and start playing patty-cake with the wall, and she will giggle and smile in between sobs. It is like she is trying to say "SEE? I CAN have fun in Time Out! So THERE!"
08.09.06 - 10:05 AM / 13Goooder said:
The thought of her yelling TWO MINUTES at a toy cow is pretty hilarious. I wonder what it could have possibly done to deserve a time out?
08.09.06 - 10:07 AM / 14onegirlmanyideas said:
at least leta isn't ripping the limbs off things while chuck punishes god's creatures. that would be weird.
08.09.06 - 10:08 AM / 15Mrs Ca said:
Now, that's what I call power. Unfortunately I don't think it lasts forever, although I was scared enough of my parents to not try anything like drinking while I still lived under their roof. After I got out though? All bets were off.
08.09.06 - 10:09 AM / 16ktjane said:
I can't wait until Leta starts a blog - she is HILARIOUS!
08.09.06 - 10:10 AM / 17JenC said:
Not that you need any more parenting advice, but the anonymity of the Internet just compels me :)
We used your strategy with the time out for our 18-month-old and the bed. (We did it with both kids at that age.) It worked like a charm. Scared the crap out of them, if I recall.
08.09.06 - 10:12 AM / 18Lisa said:
Heather, I think the key is to get a high bed - that's what we did for Juliet. She is so excited to climb up into it (quite a feat), and she loves stuffing bunny down in between the bed and the safety bar net side thingy so much that it hasn't occurred to her to try to get out. Maybe Leta will be just so clueless?
08.09.06 - 10:12 AM / 19mamablogs said:
Keep her in the crib a few more months and then when you switch her to the bed, use that ole threaten the furry sloth bit.
08.09.06 - 10:12 AM / 20jon deal said:
We knew it was time to move our oldest to a "big person" bed when she climbed out of the crib and up onto her dresser. And then fell asleep there on top of the dresser.
08.09.06 - 10:15 AM / 21Valerie said:
I recall my own mother using "Because I said so" many, many times. Her other favorite was, "That's what they teach us to do at Mom School."
08.09.06 - 10:16 AM / 22moose said:
I -still- think "because I said so" is a valid reason. And I'm old enough to use the internet and form somewhat grammatical sentences. That's how effective parental brainwashing can be.
08.09.06 - 10:17 AM / 23Jennadog said:
Funny you brought this subject up now since I have been thinking about it the past few weeks too. Until my son gave me no choice. He is 25 months and he just broke his wrist last week from falling out of the crib. He had never tried to get out before this day. Seeing your kid in a full arm cast is enough shame to suck it up and do it. He slept in a bed with rails for the first time this weekend and loved it! I put a gate up to keep him in his room.
Good luck!
08.09.06 - 10:19 AM / 24Sheila said:
I was amazed and astounded on this past Sunday when we took the front bars of our two-and-a-half year old twins' cribs. I too was sure that they would never stay in when they were able to get out. But they didn't! They asked for a last kiss, standing up as always, and laid down and went to sleep. So far, they haven't even gotten up in the morning - they still call out for us to fetch them.
And not only do they bounce, they don't even wake up! Every night for the past 3 nights they have each fallen once or twice out of bed (onto the pre-prepared pillows and blankets) and just KEEP SLEEPING. It's hilarious.
08.09.06 - 10:20 AM / 25Jezzie said:
What I love about the big kid bed is that I can snuggle with my son :) and then go to MY big kid bed...alone! I am tall like you, and I hated hunching over the crib on the nights of exhaustion. Worst comes to worst, I have let him fall asleep and then crawled out to safety :)
Luv ya Heather, needed your tender, funny insights on life today.
08.09.06 - 10:20 AM / 26lazydays8401 said:
My 29-month-old hasn't slept in a crib since she's been about a year old. Not that this was my choice - she simply refused to sleep in her crib & has always wanted to sleep in a "big bed." She doesn't get out, though she does end up in some weird positions where she almost falls out. We were on a vacation recently & I slept in a queen-size bed with her. I awoke in the middle of the night in a panic because she wasn't lying next to me only to find her at my feet.
08.09.06 - 10:21 AM / 27miss megan said:
I'm sure you get plenty of AWESOME child-rearing advice...yeah...so I feel like a jerk
but (remembering back to my toddler days) I think what my parents did to get me to stay in my big girl bed was act like sleeping in a bed without bars was just the awesomest thing ever. And they showed me how my friend sleeps in a big girl bed and my cousins sleep in big girl beds. But I couldn't sleep in one unless I stayed in bed.
I wanted to be like them so I worked hard on staying in bed.
Oh peer pressure.
08.09.06 - 10:22 AM / 28biodtl said:
I got a t-shirt for Mother's Day with "Because I Said So" in white glitter. If only it said, "Now Get Me a Drink!" on the bacx!
And I can't tell you how it pleases me that someone else punishes their dog by putting the item in question on their head and taking photos. I have tons of photos of my dog with torn-up napkins, stuffed animals, paper plates and Big Mac containers on his head.
08.09.06 - 10:25 AM / 29DravenStele said:
We bought one of those cribs where you can unscrew one side to make it a bed. My wife has been watching my daughter hang off the side of the bed rails for the last 10 months, asking "Do you think it's time to take down the side for her?" Heck no.
When Rhiannon started having night terrors about six months ago, we moved some unused couch cushions into her room next to the crib for one of us to lay down next to her until she quietted down. Those will make wonderful air pillows for her to fall on to if she ever makes it over the wire.
08.09.06 - 10:27 AM / 30