Chchchch-Changes
At the beginning of next month I am going to have to move this website over to a new hosting provider because the current company hosting this website charges a lot of money for the amount of bandwidth I need every month. I have tried to negotiate some give and take with these guys but I can't get anyone to return my emails.
So I've been talking with Jon -- that's what married people do sometimes, talk. More often than not we finish each other's sentences and have an amazing ability to understand what the other is talking about when asked about the thing that goes with the thing over there on the thing. I've come to the decision that I want to do a redesign of this site in conjunction with the hosting provider move. I want to make a lot of improvements, add more features, and make this website an even better waste of your time.
Some of the things I'd like to see here include:
1. Search functionality
2. Better/more categorization of posts
3. A daily photograph
4. A monthly round-up of hate mail, love mail, and could take me or leave me mail, and my commentary on all of it
5. Adding back to the archives all the older posts that I have deleted
6. Lengthier descriptions of music, books and websites I'm enjoying
7. A site FAQ section, including an explanation on the tools I use to build this site
Now here's where I talk about the possibly controversial part: I want to try and make money with this website (Gasp. Sigh. Please alert the sell-out police.) This may seem too ambitious, and it may very well be too ambitious as this is a personal website that talks a whole lot about poop. But Jon and I have given this a lot of thought, and generating any sort of revenue from the site, however meager or paltry it may be, would help relieve at least a little bit of the burden Jon carries in supporting this family financially.
I've considered taking a job outside the home, but that would mean that I would probably have to give up this website. I don't possess the juggling skills to raise a baby and work a full or part-time job and maintain the amount of writing I have done here. This website brings me much happiness and joy, and it has been the most therapeutic part of my treatment for postpartum depression. Why not try to make a living out of it?
I've thought about getting a job writing a column for a magazine or newspaper, but I would inevitably be subjected to an editor in those circumstances, and editors always seem to suck the life out of whatever I've written (no offense to editors out there, you're good people, except for the one I dated in Los Angeles who used to proofread Honda brochures, my god, did he need to chill it on the correct usage of apostrophes, plus there was that one time he LOST IT when he couldn't watch a Notre Dame game, and I had to witness the near-choking of the bartender at an Irish bar on Fairfax because THE IRISH BAR WASN'T SHOWING THE NOTRE DAME GAME, OH MY GOD HOW COULD THEY CALL THEMSELVES IRISH?)
Unfortunately I'm not quite sure how to make money doing this. I applied for Google AdSense and they rejected me because of "Inappropriate language." Yes, that's right. Google wants nothing to do with me and my motherfucking fucker fucks, my poops and penile diseases, my nursing bras and engorged, cabbage-wrapped torpedo boobs. Here's what they actually said:
"We've found that your website contains content that isn't in compliance with our program policies. We don't allow websites with excessive profanity or potentially offensive content to participate in Google AdSense."
Somehow I feel rather proud.
I don't want to be edited or censored, and I would never alter the content of this site to qualify for an advertising program. My stance on this may leave me moneyless, but at least I'll have my dignity and you'll have my cabbage boobs.
Here's where I ask for your feedback on the idea of a redesign. I want your input. What would you like to see here?
(NOTE: NUDE PICTURES OF ME ARE NOT AN OPTION. DON'T EVEN ASK. Nude pictures of Chuck, however, coming soon!)
Have you got any ideas?
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FM Living
Pixie said:
I know I don't want you to change the what your thinking, feeling guilty about, what your amused and annoyed at. I LOVE those. More photos of Chuck and baby are always welcome. Both are incredibly beautiful (and not only because she shares my bd, I swear it!!)
08.13.04 - 10:45 AM / 1Kathleen said:
I, for one, look forward to all the ideas you mentioned.
As for the $$, you could have a Premium users section that would have all the extras and goodies for a certain fee per year or month.
The Usual users (or whatever) would get the 'edited' version. ;)
08.13.04 - 10:45 AM / 2louisegyrl said:
you should solicit small businesses to advertise on your site. say $20/month for a 125x125 pixel ad that links to their web site. gather up your site stats and send that info to some small buinesses - sure some may think that the profanity is not a good thing, but if you target the right businesses it would work. I mean, seriously, how many visitors do you get in a month, hell in a DAY even? and they would all be tempted to click those little links. more traffic for the businesses, meaning more potential customers, and money for dooce. :)
08.13.04 - 10:46 AM / 3paris said:
I think that what you listed above sounds perfect. More pictrues of Leta would be nice, she is soooo damn cute and I love seeing her online. And I would LOVE to see your feedback to your hate mail. Your hilarious on this website, I can only imagine how funny you are to those being nasty!!
08.13.04 - 10:47 AM / 4Taira said:
Hey Heather! I'm a big fan of your site, and would probably pay to read your hillariousness! :) Hmmmm...Just off the top of my head, I'm thinking Dooce.com t-shirt ;) Or better yet, how about founding partners - those that are seriously interested in your success, each put up $500 and then receive a small percent of your financial windfall, that is sure to come your/our way!
As indicated - that was off of the cuff, after a longass week, so please keep me posted on what you decide and other ideas that come your way!
All the best, write on!
Taira
08.13.04 - 10:48 AM / 5DeeGee said:
I would imagine that in your readership, there are businessfolks that would like to run ads for their wares... Perhaps you could advertise for these folks. Cool people want cool shit, and where do they go for their ideas? The pick the brains of their cool "friends", of course... That's where you come in! Tell us what we need to buy! ;-)
08.13.04 - 10:48 AM / 6heather said:
All of those things you suggested are great! As far as making money, I don't know.... everyone seems to have a cafepress shop where they sell t-shirts and stuff. Perhaps stuffed animal versions of Chuck and Leta? Complete with little sound makers that bark or scream accordingly when squeezed?
08.13.04 - 10:50 AM / 7Alana said:
You have a lot of visitors and I'm willing to bet a good percentage have their own blogs. Lots of lonely bloggers feel popular and loved when they get visitors.
You could take donations and post links to those who contributed on a donation page of sorts. You could charge extra to add a description/bold type/top of the list, etc.
Sell stuff. Get shirts printed or creep yourself out by how much people are willing to pay for things like: the shirt you wore yesterday, the glass you drank out of, the Q-tip you may or may not have used...
08.13.04 - 10:50 AM / 8rebecca said:
Heather,
I've been reading you for months and haven't commented before. I totally support your ambition to make money off this site. You are an extremely talented writer.
I have been concerned with your depression and anxiety as I have experienced both myself (yes, enough for major meds as well. currently on Celexa and OK)
I digress. I admire your humor even while dealing with awful feelings. I would love to see more pics on the site and some of the
off the wall comments from readers. I think you have the talent to publish...submit a collection of your childrearing stories and your battle with pp depression...to the New Yorker no less...(minus profanity) :=)
Yes I know about editors but you WOULD make money.
Take care,
Rebecca in Denver
08.13.04 - 10:52 AM / 9Cassie said:
Heather, Go for it, whatever you decide. I'd pay to read your stories about Leta & Chuck & am guessing quite a few other mamas would too? You always touch on great subjects & for me, at least, remind me to smile & take it easy with this whole motherhood thing.
Best of Luck!
Cassie
08.13.04 - 10:52 AM / 10Sara said:
I really like this website. As a mother of an almost 6 month old (2/14/04)daughter, I can totally relate to your descriptions of how you want to put Leta's entire head in your mouth and other ways you want to eat her up. You are a very talented writer. You crack me the fuck up! I love reading your stories. I would like to see a picture a day and your feedback emails. Keep up the good work. I would miss you if you quit this!
08.13.04 - 10:53 AM / 11Alana said:
Love Kathleen's idea!
The hate/love-mail + responses idea is awesome - I'd totally pay to see extra features like that.
08.13.04 - 10:53 AM / 12Chloe said:
I would love to see more of dooce.com... that would be cool. I like the addons that you have planned. The moneymaking idea I am not sure. Maybe banners from some of the sites that sort of go towards your beliefs? You know one of those... click here and you get 10 cents or whatever for each click. But those just never look classy! I will keep thinking!
08.13.04 - 10:54 AM / 13heather d said:
Cafepress.com maybe? You have great masthead designs, maybe you could turn them into t-shirts or something. (And just wanted to say I've been reading dooce since before Leta was born and I thoroughly enjoy your writing. And Leta is a doll! Maybe you could write a book on heathen infidel mommy-ing.)
08.13.04 - 10:55 AM / 14Cassie said:
Heather, sorry to post 2x, but I'd also buy a shirt that says "Cabbage Boobs-so what?"...lol.
08.13.04 - 10:55 AM / 15leandra said:
I would love the searchability, I was recently looking for a specific post and i wound up rereading half your archives (not a bad waste of time - mind you). More photos would be great and I personally would not object to contributing a small subscription fee to get more of your musings. I always look forward to new posts... thanks for opening up to all of us 'webfolk'. :)
08.13.04 - 10:55 AM / 16christine said:
Ever since I somehow fell into your tractor beam (says Mrs. Kennedy) I have been unable to resist the urge to just check to see if you've added a new "column" I have to say, "Go for it". I'll just have to come up with a way to explain to my husband my NEED to read this woman's blog. I consider you the goddess of blog and aspire to someday grow up (even though I am much older!) to be like you. I'll never have your graphics and sharp wit though.
Please do not get yourself into a situation where you must edit yourself to make someone else happy. We love you because of your pure unadulterated honesty and occasional cuss word. And Jon and Leta and Chuck and.....
08.13.04 - 11:00 AM / 17HG said:
Heather - Have you tried shopping your blog to any literary agents? Your web presence is rather large (I can't think of any blogs of the top of my head that I visit that don't link to you) and I think in a non-censored medium like a print version of Dooce, you'd do great. I'd buy it.
08.13.04 - 11:00 AM / 18steph said:
How about some dooce shirts via CafePress? You could make a little money with that, and I'll pledge to buy a shirt - if you carry the women's babydoll T's with a dooce logo on the front. ;)
I know it's hard to balance all this motherhood and LIFE stuff and make money at the same time. Good luck.
08.13.04 - 11:01 AM / 19Mikki said:
I second what Kathleen said. I'd totally pay to be a premium member. Hell... I'll sign up now!
:-)
08.13.04 - 11:04 AM / 20freshbabe said:
Why not start an online community with message boards for lonley moms who are stuck at home with their kids all day (like me)? You could start a seperate blog for it with no profanity and then use Adwords to suck Google dry. There are a lot of young women out there who have webblogs, cabbage boobs *and* brains. I'm sure they would love to participate at cabbageboobs.com.
Good luck!
08.13.04 - 11:04 AM / 21steph said:
Oh, and you could ebay the cabbage you were wearing in your bra a couple of weeks ago. I'm sure some pervert would pay top dollar from rotten cabbage worn by dooce's boobies. :P
08.13.04 - 11:06 AM / 22Friday said:
Personally, I'd like to see a permanent comments section. I can't say for sure why you haven't opted for this yet, but I think that the potential for open dialogue would give your site an extra edge.
08.13.04 - 11:06 AM / 23Jenn said:
I wanted to second the cafepress/masthead t-shirt idea. I'd buy "the t-shirt with the doocing".
08.13.04 - 11:06 AM / 24samantha said:
A dooce t-shirt! Please! I want one!
I have no great ideas, just supporting whatever ch-ch-changes come around. I think the idea of a daily photograph is a dandy one, and I would pay MONEY to waste time on your site. I definitely want to read responses to the hate and love mail. Even if you make fun of us who send you love mail!
08.13.04 - 11:06 AM / 25marko Savic said:
Hey, I love your website and didn't think it needs more to it, but props to you for thinking of those features! I'm borrowing some of your ideas for my new site redesign as well :)
As for making money, you can try a subscription for the site. $20/year x a plenty of readers will bring you a pretty penny. Also try using the Amazon Associates program when linking to books. You can always open a Cafe Press store, or, if you want to be more hands on learn how to screen print and start selling TShirts (through paypal, because its cheap and easy) or you can even try offering website design services out of your home.
Also, see if you can get your entries published. You can do it over CafePress, just format all your entries as [ insert image formate here ] and upload them to their server and have them print/bind/ship a book for you and you'll make [ insert overcharge here ] on each book. I'd buy 3. You could even throw in random pictures of Leta to sell more copies.
I wish you luck, and don't stop writing because you help keep me sane. And the hate mail would be a great addition to your site.
08.13.04 - 11:06 AM / 26annakay said:
i am another one who would pay cash money to hear what you have to say and would buy a whole wardrobe if you went into the t-shirt business. if you do, be sure to include baby & child sizes. and dog gear!
08.13.04 - 11:07 AM / 27danielle said:
Heather, my son was born just after Leta (02/09/04). I relate to, want, love and need this site. I would pay a small subscription fee to continue receiving it. I love the idea of selling stuff. I would buy a DOOCE t-shirt. Sell cool DOOCE Baby stuff... Coffee mugs and bottles!
I hope you keep writing!
08.13.04 - 11:07 AM / 28Jess said:
Heather-
Really who needs a t-shirt.. I am all over the stuffed animal versions of Chuck and Leta. Try the pay for extras- love/hate emails, I am sure you can think up many witty bonus items for us all. Make money... oh and you really do rock by the way.
08.13.04 - 11:07 AM / 29Michelle said:
I love your website! I am proud to say that I have only been getting about 5% of my shit done at work since I discovered dooce.com. I would be happy to pay for some juicy extras. And banner advertisments would help. Like those crazy ass cross stitches - things like that I would have never found (and purchased) had I not come across them on your site. I know I'm not the only one.
08.13.04 - 11:08 AM / 30