Code Word
I recently spent two months of my life potty training a small animal. I use the word "spent" in its most literal sense: I did nothing but eat, sleep and potty train for nearly 60 days.
Potty training my small animal was more of a potty coaxing, really. The routine went something like this: I would say the code word for peeing or pooping ("Do It" and "Go Poop" respectively) over and over again until he responded with the appropriate bodily function. Once he was finished I would praise him gushingly, as if he had just performed nuclear fission.
"Do It" proved to be the easier of commands to follow. My small animal was soon "Doing It" at every opportunity. He was happy to "Do It," often looking at me with an expression that said, "I really love to Do It."
But the "Going Poop" part of the process continues to be an unpredictable nightmare, one with ramifications I understood only last night when trying to coax him into "Going Poop" while the dinner I had just made was getting cold upstairs.
"Going Poop," it turns out, really isn�t the best code word for going poop, especially when you�re hungry, in a hurry, and clueless as to how to get your small animal to actually go poop.
Both my husband and I were dragging our small animal in circles, screaming, "Go Poop!" in turns, looking at each other and pleading, "Why won�t he Go Poop?"
"Go Poop!" I yelled. "Go Poop! Go Poop! Go Poop!"
Then my husband took his turn, "Go Poop! Puppy! Go Poop!"
Eventually a hint of recognition flashed across the animal�s face, like, "I think they want me to Go Poop." And both my husband and I looked back at him, like, "Duh."
Just as he was crouching down into the appropriate catcher�s position, just when I thought we might enjoy at least a warm dinner, the toothy blonde kid from next door hopped out of his car and gleefully interrupted, "Chuck!"
You�ve never seen a faucet turn off so fast.
I really can�t take responsibility for what happened next, the witch-like screeching and crazy arm-waving and the hopping hopping hopping frustration, but I somehow found myself berating the neighbor kid: "Can�t you see he has to Go Poop!? Let him Go Poop!"
He didn�t go poop. Next time I�m going to try, "Don�t Go Poop."
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FM Living
Toby said:
It is very good to see you back. <3
09.19.02 - 07:39 AM / 1ko-pojke said:
this worked for us...
09.19.02 - 07:49 AM / 2Ismat said:
We went through a very similar process with my niece. Whenever she would pee in the toilet, she'd get treats and hugs and kisses, and I kept thinking, "Man, it was great to be a kid. I never get applause when I exit the bathroom."
09.19.02 - 07:53 AM / 3feelafel said:
It's fitting that you returned on the 20th birthday of the :), as I'm so happy that you're back.
Good luck with Senator Chuckles - my mother says that she toilet trained me with Smarties (like M&Ms), if that helps.
09.19.02 - 08:20 AM / 4Sarah B. said:
My parents used chocolate chips to lure me to use the toilet, Nilla wafers down the hall to prompt me to crawl, an Annie locket when I learned to tie my shoes, a Cabbage Patch Kid if I stopped sucking my thumb, and an E.T. doll if I learned to ride without training wheels. All were highly successful, but life seems so empty now.
09.19.02 - 08:29 AM / 5Jane Doe said:
We tried to teach our cats to go in the toilet.
To make a long story short, we gave up and bought bigger litter boxes with covers on them.
09.19.02 - 08:51 AM / 6megchem said:
My roomate's dog (if she leaves i claim custody) was trained to "hurry up"....her mom had taught her that as a puppy then when the roomate got custody she suffered several weeks on no pooping, well at least not pooping appropriately. The roomate found out the command...works like a charm
09.19.02 - 09:36 AM / 7Matej said:
I just laughed myself into convulsions... Thanks, I needed that. P.S. I've completely given up on toilet-training my ferret. I find that works pretty good.
09.19.02 - 10:24 AM / 8Paula said:
Hm. I think "Hurry Up" is probably the universal code word in dog-speak for Go Poop. A few people I know use this term and when we started using it with our dog, it worked like a charm.
I'm so glad to see you back. Congratulations on the wedding and I have to ask...where was Chuck during the festivities?
Aww.
09.19.02 - 10:35 AM / 9helenjane said:
yesterday the little girl in the stall next to me sighed sadly and as her mom flushed said, "bye bye poo poo. bye bye."
09.19.02 - 11:43 AM / 10gina said:
YAY! dooce is back!!!
09.19.02 - 12:00 PM / 11Paul Gutman said:
I gotta say, if *I* was doing my business and someone yelled my name suddenly, my faucet would turn off in a real hurry.
09.19.02 - 12:50 PM / 12Rengirl said:
I'm wetting my pants in excitement that you're back.
09.19.02 - 01:00 PM / 13Ariel said:
Really Rena? I'm Doing It I'm so happy. Welcome back, Dooce!
09.19.02 - 01:10 PM / 14Beefy K said:
My life is whole again. I am glad you are back.
09.19.02 - 01:53 PM / 15Rickster said:
Dooce,
Mere Blogs can't express how happy I am that "THE DOOCE IS BACK!!!!!"
09.19.02 - 02:32 PM / 16Sour Bob said:
Maybe Chuckles speaks Esperanto. Have you tried "Utiligi la necesejo"?
09.19.02 - 03:44 PM / 17DJ SUBg said:
I just put a pair of Depends and let the "chips" fall where they may.
Glad to hear from you.
09.19.02 - 04:07 PM / 18shy said:
dooce.com Resurrected!
1. congrats on your wedding!
2. your photographer did a kickass job.
3. don't feed chuck chicken. dog's that eat chicken get bad gas and fart up a storm.
4. welcome back.
5. no. 3 is based on personal experiences... unfortunately.
09.19.02 - 04:38 PM / 19pixelkitty said:
ohhhh I was so happy to trundle over and see you writing again.
my web is complete.
thank you, thank you
09.19.02 - 05:07 PM / 20Neal said:
Dooce is alive! Thank you so much for coming back to your weblog. Congratulations on the marriage, too.
09.19.02 - 05:53 PM / 21Bill said:
I need to go.
09.19.02 - 05:59 PM / 22dirty pero said:
My dog, is 7. He still walks in circles for 10 minutes or more... searching for the prime spot to "go poop."
Once he narrows this down to a smaller area he paces back and forth about 10 times, the full 6' length of his leash [when he is on one].
Then he finally gets in position. If ANYTHING happens at this point, he stops. This can be: a car driving by, a bird, a squirrel... somebody 2 blocks down the street getting out of a car...
:\ good luck with your small animal.
09.19.02 - 08:00 PM / 23Keith said:
Congratulations on your marriage, health & happiness to you & your husband! I don't know if you remember me, but we exchanged e-mails at the beginning of the year. As of our last contact, I was planning on moving to Los Angeles. I'm here now -- moved to L.A. in February. Life's kicking ass and I'm having fun at my job.
Anyways, being that I'm still relatively new to L.A., I'm still exploring
and looking to find new places and meet new people. I'd love to meet you & Jon realtime at some point. Given your previous habits of putting up cool music, I may be able to help you out in the "finding new music" department because of where I work -- it's actually because of you that I started putting up MP3s on my own site for people to discover some new tunes and artists.
Hope to hear from you.
09.19.02 - 08:50 PM / 24Jen said:
Welcome back Heather. Congratulations!
09.20.02 - 03:29 AM / 25ryan said:
Welcome back! Congratulations on your marriage! Great pics!
09.20.02 - 04:50 AM / 26NaughtyNellie said:
I'm laughing! The two of you taking turns, "Go Poop! Go Poop! Go Poop!" tee hee
I haven't had a dog in several years, but I do have a couple of cats.
"go potty" & "get in the box" have worked fairly well.
09.20.02 - 08:35 AM / 27Kevin said:
It's great to have you back. :)
09.20.02 - 09:25 AM / 28Jason said:
a friend of mine kept jokingly telling me to let go and I finally stopped checking your site. The same friend just said to me "check dooce!"
Great to have you back...
09.20.02 - 09:31 AM / 29Electrin said:
Hey Heather, it's really good to see you back.
09.20.02 - 09:32 AM / 30