Fessing Up
So I'm going to sit here and tell you what happened, and I'm not going to take it back, and I'm not going to hate myself in the morning. In fact, I'm tired of hating myself in the morning and making excuses.
Why are we constantly making excuses anyway? Why do we feel like we have to say, hey, I know I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I had a decision to make, so I made it?
Why do we have to say, hey, I know it's not cool to do this, but just for this one instance, I don't care if it's cool or not. Why do we have to be concerned with whether or not something is cool?
And who the hell decided that Kid Rock is cool? Was it the same person who decided that Christina Aguilera should be allowed to wear that? And why am I ashamed that I don't have to spell-check her name?
The point is, I was holding the new Beth Orton CD in my left hand and the new Dixie Chicks CD in my right hand, and I couldn't buy both of them, so I had to choose one of them, and I chose the SO NOT COOL one.
You see, this means that no one in Indie-land will ever take me seriously again. I won't ever be able to give my opinion on a new Built to Spill album, or wear my Yo La Tengo concert t-shirt without someone accusing me of being earnest.
And I don't know, maybe I really am getting old, but I'm starting not to care about indie cred anymore. Indie cred used to be so important, you know? Like, I remember one time I was at a really intimate Death Cab For Cutie show chatting up some really sweet, obviously ridiculed-in-high-school kid who probably played drums in some small three-piece with his friends in the basement of one of their mom's house in the Valley, and he was talking about the latest Unwound album, and he asked me what I thought about it, and I was like, yeah dude, it's a total psychedelic epic, and the only reason I said that was not because I had ever listened to the album or had any idea who the hell Unwound was but because I figured I had about a 60% chance of sounding legit.
Anyway, I think it's time I stop apologizing and instead start fessing up, with like, really unabashed, reckless, so-not-indie abandon:
• I loved American Idol.
• I pronounce "here" like "herre".
• I have watched every episode of Survivor since the first season.
• I watched every episode of the first season of Felicity and actually cried when she chose Ben.
• I own the soundtrack to "St. Elmo's Fire".
• I saw Milli Vanilli in concert.
• I used to send fan mail to Jordan Knight.
• I bought my dog a fleece jacket and have, on several occasions, forced him to wear it just because it looks so cute.
• My favorite Friend is not Phoebe.
• I drink Starbucks coffee, a lot.
• I don't own every Smiths album, nor do I own a single album by Led Zeppelin.
• I once interviewed the lead singer of Everclear and he made me cry.
• I like Julia Roberts.
• I don't think Tom Cruise is gay.
• I can name every cast member from every season of The Real World.
• I still know every word to every song in "Grease 2" and can mime the entire Cool Rider sequence, start to finish.
I think that's enough for now. Sarah, are you ever going to speak to me after this?
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FM Living
melanie said:
* i subscribe to martha stewart living.
* i own pottery barn sheets and was just today fussing about finding a comforter to match.
* i watched big brother and liked it.
* i watch friends twice a day, five times a week. thrice on thursdays.
it ain't no thang. we all have our guilty pleasures. hell, i just ate a heaping spoonful of nutella. yum.
10.06.02 - 01:04 PM / 1Arnold said:
I have every Backstreet Boys and NSYNC album. I thought Roswell was a great show. I never liked progressive rock.
Ahhhh.... this has been cathartic.
10.06.02 - 01:14 PM / 2Kelly said:
He's a cooooooool rider.
Nahhh, those aren't so bad. Well, okay ... the Milli Vanilli concert is pretty bad.
The question is: do you feel better for fessing up? ;)
10.06.02 - 01:30 PM / 3David said:
I'm trying to imagine just how "herre" actually sounds.
And don't worry, I think everyone grows out of the indie thing at some point; I did, and now I'm a hardcore raver. How's that for change?
10.06.02 - 01:51 PM / 4Jane Doe said:
I watch Dawson's Creek. I've never missed an episode since the first season.
It gets worse. In the summer, while they're producing the next season, I regularly read the Dawson's Creek Summer Diaries online.
10.06.02 - 02:23 PM / 5jimmypage said:
not one single led zeppelin album? my god, d00ce, it must be that little bit of mormon that's stuck deep down inside that wonderful brain of yours... on another note, you should consider putting up a donation/paypal button on your site, so that those of us who love to read it can "voluntarily subscribe". if you did so, maybe next time you wouldnít have to pick between two CDs that you want. -jp
10.06.02 - 02:40 PM / 6Lin said:
*I buy Martha Stewart Living and own almost every book she's published * I had a crush on Jordan Knight during my teeny-bopper years * I own a Hootie & the Blowfish CD. Well, two. * I like Star Wars AND Star Trek * My sister used to force me to watch Grease 2--and then we'd reenact it...on rollerskates in our basement. I'd have to be that blonde chubby chick. I can remember that stupid seasons song they did at the end * I own Disney soundtracks, favorites including The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast. * I hate Dr. Phil. * I love the Simpsons, a lot. I like saying "Do'h!" * When I was a kid, I liked Howard the Duck.
10.06.02 - 02:58 PM / 7AprilGem said:
[hanging head in shame] I watch Survivor, too. But I have a good excuse. Really, I do! I actually met one of the camera crewmen slash producers after they shot the first season but before they aired it on TV. Uh... so there. And just how the hell is "herre" pronounced?
10.06.02 - 03:01 PM / 8stupid bint said:
I love AC/DC
I read Marie Claire
I drink Fanta
hmm that's not so bad.
I have to point out though, that here in Australia, Starbucks has just started to rear its ugly head. Their coffee is appalling. Totally flavour-free. I will stick to my own espresso machine.
10.06.02 - 03:04 PM / 9Tara said:
*I too have watched every single episode of Survivor, belong in an office pool, and my friend Gary has such a big following of his post-show write-ups that I put them on the internet *I shop at Pottery Barn. And Crate & Barrel. *I drink Starbucks coffee at home, and sometimes out in public. * I watched every episode of the Real World up until New Orleans. *I watched an episode of Temptation Island 2 (why I don't know) but *liked* it and watched every episode after. *I like HGTV, Food Network, and Game Show Netowork. I saw Debbie Gibson in concert in 1987 or 1988. *My Dwight Yoakam CD's are as precious to me as my Techno collection. I think I could go on and on, but I am sure I have proved that either a) I have my guilty pleasures too, or b) you are just like all of us, Dooce.
10.06.02 - 03:16 PM / 10dooce said:
if there were a Martha Stewart Relief Fund, i would totally donate to it, if only because I could never ascertain a "Good Thing" without her direction.
10.06.02 - 03:29 PM / 11jennifer said:
like how much fuckin energy can people devote to being cooler than thou? you know what? i have every pixies album, but i also rock it out to some john (cougar) mellencamp. i'm secure. everybody burn your ironic corporate logo tshirt. it's time for the balanced folks' liberation.
10.06.02 - 03:42 PM / 12nita said:
At the age of 12, my sister, our friend, and I formed our very own Pink Ladies.
This is on the basis of Grease 2, not Grease.
We never really got beyond who got to be Stephanie/Michelle Pfeifer.
And you know what else? I now have "Girl for All Seasons" including the "Ah-ah-ah" parts.
10.06.02 - 04:16 PM / 13The Boss said:
It doesn't work that way. Your indie-cred isn't destroyed upon revealing these facts about yourself. No, every DIY indie rocker was a kid once, guilty of occasional lapses in judgement, and old habits die hard. I scoff at college football, $4.00 lattes, and suburban sprawl, but don't even think about putting down Bruce Springsteen, the Philadelphia Phillies, or Magnum P.I.
10.06.02 - 04:55 PM / 14dooce said:
dude, these weren't childhood indulgences. i still listen to Milli Vanilli.
10.06.02 - 05:03 PM / 15Brenda said:
I could never get behind Jordan Knight, but I was all about Joey McIntyre. I even had the Joey McIntyre doll, who being cuter than Pilot Ken, romanced a lot of Barbies.
My music directory, though it has a subdirectory for the Smiths, also has one for Judy Garland and one for Frank Sinatra.
I cried like a baby when I saw Bing Crosby the priest make the world a better place in "Going My Way."
At one time, I could actually recite most of Grease, but refused to see the sequel, because I thought it a travesty to all things Grease.
And my favourite Friend is Chandler.
10.06.02 - 05:10 PM / 16Lapdog said:
BEING UNCOOL : THE "NEW" COOL
10.06.02 - 05:11 PM / 17Face4Radio said:
For a staunchly heterosexual male I know WAY too much about Broadway Musicals!
10.06.02 - 05:20 PM / 18The Boss said:
Dooce, now you're just bragging - as in "I still have my original copy of the first European printing of the Blame It On The Rain single". Dripping with irony? Or dripping with the undying love of teenage passion gone horribly awry?
10.06.02 - 05:21 PM / 19Vera said:
Awesome post! I am extremely ashamed to admit (and have always sort of wondered why I should be ashamed) that:
1. I get so excited every time I catch a rerun of 90210 on FX. In fact, if 90210 hadnít had its series finale in 2000, Iíd still be religiously watching it.
2. When Jack and Jill was still during its first and only season, I loved every minute of it.
3. I cannot wait for Girls Club to premier this month.
4. I LOOOVE Iím a Slave 4 U.
5. I still think Technotronic and Ice Ice Baby kick ass.
6. I get all excited when I see a celebrity on Melrose or near the Beverly Center.
(And here is the worst one:)
7. I have to watch every movie Gwyneth Paltrow is in.
Okay, that was fun! But now Iím going to make like an ostrich.
10.06.02 - 05:37 PM / 20PD said:
"I can name every cast member from every season of The Real World."
I'll raise you, and add the names of the cast members from Road Rules and the RW/RR Challenges.
10.06.02 - 05:50 PM / 21Billy said:
You forced your dog to wear a fleece jacket. Wait a minute -- is it a jacket or a vest? Do you have a stainless steel Starbucks spill-proof pop-open lid mug?
10.06.02 - 05:53 PM / 22Billy said:
You forced your dog to wear a fleece jacket. Wait a minute -- is it a jacket or a vest? Do you have a stainless steel Starbucks spill-proof pop-open lid mug?
10.06.02 - 05:53 PM / 23peggy said:
I squealed out loud in Walmart when I saw this little puppy collar with a black bow tie on it. Cody's outgrown it, but I still can't throw it away.
10.06.02 - 05:54 PM / 24blamb said:
Tom Cruise had better be gay, it's his only redeeming feature.
10.06.02 - 06:09 PM / 25Kath said:
There was a Grease 2?
God, I'm old. I have embarrassing things in my record collection that are so old that people probably think they're cool. Like 2, yes there were 2, Bobby Sherman albums and a record of Leonard Nemoy singing. No, they are NOT cool. But I kept them.
10.06.02 - 07:21 PM / 26Sarah B. said:
Sweetheart, I love you even more.
I still own my Milli Vanilli tape, and listen to it, and put it on my answering machine, and people think it's for ironic effect, and I'm like, "Oh, yeah, hahahaha." Yeah.
10.06.02 - 07:36 PM / 27michael said:
I love Fleetwood Mac. I also like everything Cat Stevens recorded before he went crackers. I can summarize each episode of Star Trek. I *think* that knowing Grandmaster Flash lyrics makes me cool, even though common sense says otherwise. Sometimes love is marred by coolness. Like my girlfriend loves Dave Matthews Band, and I always have trouble not being a total dickwad snob about it. And she knows it.
10.06.02 - 08:10 PM / 28Sour Bob said:
*I'm a huge John Mellencamp fan. *My entire week is built around the watching of "Smallville" *I have every episode of "The Greatest American Hero" on video--seriously *I watch public access television and Chicago city programming almost constantly *I once owned a complete Miami Vice suit *I once had a mullet--with permed hair in the back (I lived in Alabama as a very young child--shut the fuck up)
10.06.02 - 11:05 PM / 29Igor said:
I have "Six Easy Pieces" on CD (the first one is really lousy due to a thoroughly messed up master tape) and the only reason I'm ashamed of that is that I don't know enough physics to fall on the floor :-(
10.06.02 - 11:36 PM / 30