Burial Ground
Yesterday during intense house-cleaning festivities Jon used a wire hanger to grab one of Chuck's lost tennis balls out from underneath the couch. Instead of a lost tennis ball, however, he discovered:
- 5 barely recognizable rawhide nubbins
- 2 whole rawhide bones
- 2 Kong chew toys
- 3 lost tennis balls
- 12 or more random pieces of stuffed squeaky toys (ears, whole feet, several tails)
At first it was really funny, like, I remember that foot! But Jon kept pulling out more and more detritus, and it was like, dude, we've stumbled across The Stash.
Chuck watched the whole thing in horror, like we were digging up dead bodies. He'd glance at the next piece pulled from the grave and then look at us like, my god, you people, that was there for a reason. Within three minutes he had systematically scooted everything back underneath the couch.
So Jon and I are like, okay. That's his space. He can have his space. And I'm like, who wouldn't give this precious little potato punkin bundle every inch of space in the whole wide world?
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FM Living
ME said:
From the looks of that picture, he looks like he'll need more than an inch of space when he's ... uh, engorged.
10.28.02 - 08:03 AM / 1Alex said:
Oh my God. You really are Jean Teasdale.
10.28.02 - 08:03 AM / 2lapdog said:
First Dean at textism.com shows us Oliver's little dink, now you're doing it. Is this a trend?
10.28.02 - 08:12 AM / 3dclay said:
I'd give him the couch and hope he doesn't start trying to bury things under the hardwood floors...
10.28.02 - 08:23 AM / 4Jory said:
Oh, I'd give him space, sure. But I'd draw the line at pulpy boudoir shots.
10.28.02 - 08:30 AM / 5brittney said:
I would. And I am not even a dog person.
10.28.02 - 09:13 AM / 6Donna said:
Wow, this dog porn is better than the real stuff - it's certainly cuter.
10.28.02 - 10:03 AM / 7Matt said:
Today it's rawhide nubbins, tomorrow, it's the newspaper -- next thing you know your couch'll be the home base for some seedy, underground puppy smuggling ring.
10.28.02 - 10:05 AM / 8stacey said:
Fifty percent of your commenters noticed the puppy's precious little potato peepee. You got some sick-o readers there, Dooce!
10.28.02 - 10:05 AM / 9Cory said:
It always happens. First, it is rawhide under the couch. Then toys. Then socks. Then your evening wear. Then woodland animals. Then small countries. It happens. Watch out for Tongo. The native Tongonians aren't fond of living under hide-a-beds.
10.28.02 - 10:12 AM / 10feelafel said:
That the only animal more efficient at hiding toys than a dog is a cat. They're uncanny. I come home to a cat, now sans toys, who gives me a little "Prrowt!" as if to say: "Just try to find 'em. C'mon. Try."
10.28.02 - 10:17 AM / 11Paul Gutman said:
Just you wait until Chuckles "cleans house" while you're gone and all your t-shirts are out of the drawers where you hid them. Oh yes.
10.28.02 - 10:29 AM / 12propagandist said:
okay, that's about 24 different toys, chew items, etc.
you're spoiling the boy. no wonder he pisses on your friends.
10.28.02 - 10:58 AM / 13dooce said:
watch it, propagandist, or i'll have him poop on you.
10.28.02 - 11:01 AM / 14April said:
With friends to piss on, who needs enemies to poop on? Oh, the wonderful things you find in a dog's hiding place. Whatever you do, don't let him near any Victoria's Secret panties. Not only will they disappear, but they will never reappear under the couch with his stash. I hear that dogs eat them.
10.28.02 - 11:21 AM / 15Angelique said:
i completely agree.... if you keep this up, he'll not stop there on his road to pack-rat-dom. i have not the slightest doubt that in due time (bwahaha) he will systematically attempt to fit all of your lingerie under the couch. i'd keep an eye on your frillies if i was you.. if chuckles was human, my guess is that his pad would look much like John Doe's place in the movie "seven". creepy.
10.28.02 - 11:27 AM / 16Kerry said:
Hey, you sickies! Stop looking at his winky! That's a damn cute canine. Dooce, you could be like, the next William Wegman and stuff. Except with Chucks instead of weimaraners.
10.28.02 - 11:34 AM / 17Heather #2 said:
Awwww. He's gonna make a beautiful Jennifer Beals! Not sure you'll be able to hide Mr. Winkie, though.
10.28.02 - 11:53 AM / 18Kevin from Seattle said:
Heather, you're the reincarnation of Albert Payson Terhune.
10.28.02 - 12:32 PM / 19kath said:
All the best dogs sleep upside-down.
10.28.02 - 01:00 PM / 20Ex-liontamer said:
On more than one occasion, our cats have surprised me and the wife with mass graves of catnip mousies behind the fridge and behind our chest of drawers. The largest count was about twenty. Lately, they have taken to lining several in a row near the food bowls; kinda like the head-on-a-pike warning for other dissident mousies I suppose
10.28.02 - 01:29 PM / 21antisocial diva said:
my cats are the same way. they kick their furry mice under the furniture and i dig them all back out, thinking i am doing them a favor. but i'm not because they smack them right back under. they are so, so cute and i always buy them more that will eventually get lost to the couch and fridge goblins :)
10.28.02 - 03:14 PM / 22dave said:
well, i see somebody answered that "enlarge your dog's penis" spam...
10.28.02 - 04:07 PM / 23kate said:
god is he ever growing up fast.
10.28.02 - 04:08 PM / 24statia said:
You make me laugh hysterically. Thank you. Thankfully, Gromit can't fit anything under the sofa, but if he could, and I dug that stuff out, I would be able to hear the homer voice in his head go ooooh toys. He'd pick one up and run back and forth to show it off.
10.28.02 - 04:23 PM / 25Sarah B. said:
Word, April. My parents' dog totally ate my VS panties, but left the old cotton Hanes Her Way in one piece.
10.28.02 - 05:04 PM / 26Naaman said:
It looks like he has plenty of space right next to him ;) Doesn't he like to cuddle with his rawhide bones and random stuffed thingies?
10.28.02 - 05:48 PM / 27spike said:
statia, you rock for having a dog named gromit. that is totally great!
dooce, chuckles is still the cutest. imagine a kid putting his toys away as well as chuck does!
10.28.02 - 07:32 PM / 28April said:
Forgive me, Sarah. My mind works in mysterious ways. When I first read your comment, I missed the word "dog" in "My parents' dog totally ate my VS panties,..." and thought for sure that your parents had the most exotic tastes of anyone I've ever heard. Ah, well, I guess this means they don't also hide chew toys under their couch. But that's a good thing, no?
10.28.02 - 08:53 PM / 29dclay said:
Thanks for coming back Dooce. We've decided to dress up like you for halloween.
10.29.02 - 03:02 AM / 30