Can balance large objects on head if offered a piece of cheese
Tuesday, November 28 2006
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Chuck, Daily
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Our friends Maggie and Bryan were driving through Utah for the holiday and stopped to spend a couple nights with us. Maggie and I spent a sunny Sunday afternoon shopping for gifts and dresses and then sat in a small cafe to dissect why I am such a chronic worrier. I don't think Maggie realizes this, and when she reads this she will most likely retch, elegantly, but she has become my life coach over the last year. You cannot come away from having spent five minutes with the woman without thinking that your life is suddenly going to make a dramatic upswing. Or hoping that someone with such amazing hair has some awful personality blemish just to balance out the universe. Like maybe she's a huge fan of Fabio or goes to bed wearing pajamas decorated with purple chickens.
I have always been a worrier, and in second grade I used to get so sick with anxiety about the timed math tests I took on Tuesday mornings that the worrying would start the Friday night before. I was hardly able to sleep or eat or think about anything other than the addition or subtraction problems that I would encounter on that single sheet of paper, and by the time my teacher started the clock on the test I was so violently ill that I could barely hold my pencil upright. I remember thinking that my future was dependent on whether or not I performed perfectly, and that if I missed one problem a series of events would unfold: one, my mother wouldn't love me. Two, she would kick me out of the house. Three, I would die homeless.
This is what I like to call The Spiral, and I have spent my life fine-tuning this skill. I start by making sure everything around me is normal and in working order, and then I start to worry about the littlest thing that could go wrong. It's always something very tiny and insignificant, but by the time I have finished analyzing it in my head it has turned into the Worst Case Scenario: small A leads to small B leads to very awful C jumps straight to homeless and dead. See Fig. A.
Maggie got me thinking about why I do this, and at first I thought it might be hereditary. My father is notoriously frugal, always has been, has saved every penny from every paycheck since the day he started working because he was afraid he might lose it all. A couple weeks ago while he was sitting on our living room floor playing with Leta, Jon absentmindedly called him "miserly" to his face, and I immediately fell over and broke my head. This did not faze my father a bit, not surprisingly as he is very proud of his ability to save money. Although I'm sure he would have preferred a more accurate word, like "rich."
And maybe a little bit of the reason I worry so much is because I am my father's daughter, but when talking it out with Maggie I realized that the root of it is a singular thought that has followed me through my life, the thought that because there are other people in the world who do not have it good as I do, other people who do not have a warm place to sleep or food to eat or a TiVo with which to record every episode of The Bachelor, I need to worry about something, anything. That I owe it to those who have a harder life. That because I am very lucky I need to suffer crippling anxiety to even things out a little bit.
And of course, the exact opposite is true. I owe it to those who are not as lucky as I am to appreciate the hell out of my life, I know this fundamentally, I just can't get around the guilt I experience almost every hour over the fact that my life is really good when so many in this world have lives full of ongoing tragedy, an overwhelming feeling that if I am not a stressed out mess everything will be taken away from me. Maggie got me to see that the way in which I worry about things is so hypnotic that it causes me to walk directly into what it is I fear, that my worry is causing what I'm worrying about to happen. And then she suggested that maybe I should start worrying about developing really big breasts or about a large trunk of money falling out of the sky onto my head.
I left that cafe feeling totally renewed, and for the rest of the day I kept smiling when I thought about how much better my life will be without The Spiral, about how I can channel all the energy that I used to spend worrying about everything into more productive things, like charity work or reading books to Leta or skipping through the house naked and drunk. And I was still feeling this jolt of exhilaration that evening when I walked outside with the dog to let him perform his nightly duties, still reeling from the possibilities when for a second I thought about something inside and stepped back in to run and put something away or fix something, I don't remember. It seemed important, seemed critical at the time, but now I cannot even remember what was so crucial that it made me leave my dog outside unattended. Without his collar on.
Do you see where this is going?
I got so distracted once I walked in the door that I forgot that I had let the dog outside. I'm going to go ahead and admit to this, although it is one of the most embarrassing and horrible and devastating things I have ever done. I could try to be vague and say that we lost our dog because he got out somehow or because of negligence, but that would not be telling the whole truth. It was my fault. I was the one who let him out, so I should have been the one to make sure he got back in. I didn't. That is what happened.
I was unsure about whether or not I was going to write about this for a few reasons. First, it didn't seem fair to roll out this drama in front of my readers for a second time. Who loses their dog two times in one year and expects any response other than ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Second, I can guarantee that someone is going to accuse me of making this up in an attempt to drum up sales for the 2007 Chuck Calendar. Just like I made up Leta to have something to talk about on this website.
Maggie asked if I was going to write about it, and pointed out that no one would have to know about it except for the people in our neighborhood who saw these fliers:
I don't know, it would have felt wrong to have not talked about this because Chuck is such a huge part of the narrative on this website. And because Sunday night was the worst night of my life. It would be weird to try to write something else here as if this didn't happen.
Jon and I drove around in our car for two hours Sunday night shaking bottles of anti-depressants out the window hoping that Chuck would come running to the sound. Bryan drove his car for the same amount of time looking up alleys and driveways. By 1 AM we had given up, and once we were back home I lay in bed with the pillow over my head to muffle my hysterical screaming. It was one of my worst nightmares, my dog missing in the freezing cold, his toys and rawhide bones scattered underneath my feet like little Polaroids of his life.
By morning my eyes were almost swollen shut, and both Jon and I had barely slept an hour having both obsessed over every terrible possibility in our heads. Leta woke up early, and so we waited in panicked silence for a few hours until the animal shelters and vet's offices opened. Jon started leaving messages as Maggie and Bryan posted fliers across several streets. And every time the phone rang we all looked at each other, hopeful, apprehensive, wishing we would soon wake up from a bad dream. I have a recurring nightmare in which all my teeth fall out, and after I have spit them into my hand I tell myself that it is a dream, and I can wake myself up. I kept trying to do that yesterday morning, kept telling myself that this wasn't real, and that if I concentrated hard enough I could open my eyes and Chuck would be sitting right there in front of me with a coffee pot balancing on his head.
And I guess this is where I try to tie the whole thing together, and if you bear with me this just might make sense. Or not, I can't promise anything. At some point yesterday morning I realized I had to let go, had to stop gritting my teeth because that was not helping us find the dog any faster. I had to stop imagining him frozen in a ditch, or at least hold off on that spiral until we had at least talked to one animal shelter. And I swear to god, it wasn't ten minutes after I had taken that huge, calming breath that we got a phone call. I know it was just a coincidence, but it was a loud coincidence.
I was sitting with Leta on our bed when I heard Jon in the living room say, "SOMEONE HAS HIM!" and I ran out to hear him promising reward money and possible sexual favors to someone over his cell phone. A kind family one street over had found Chuck sitting on their porch the night before, invited him in to play with their own dogs, fed him, and let him stay the night. They said the dogs played mischievously for hours. The next morning the father called Animal Control, and when the truck came to pick him up they scanned for a microchip and couldn't find the one we had implanted into the back of his neck earlier this year. The only reason the man knew to call our number was because he had seen the flier Maggie and Byran had posted on one of his trees when he left for work.
It would be several hours before we would actually see Chuck again because we got to the animal shelter long before the Animal Control truck had finished its rounds. When the officer walked through the door with my dog I felt a violent cocktail of emotions, relief and joy and regret and exhaustion, but mostly I felt like I did in 1997 when I woke up with a hangover from a Long Island Iced Tea, a hangover that lasted three days and caused me to puke in three different trashcans.
Chuck saw me and was all DUDE, HAVE I GOT A STORY FOR YOU. Bryan had joked that Chuck would probably show up somewhere with rum on his breath, a headache, and a tattoo of a scrotum on his forehead. And that wasn't far from the truth. He was happy and ready for his next adventure.
Welcome home, Puppy.
1. Lisa C. said:
Heather, I'm so sorry that you lost Chuck, but super happy that you found him again! Take deep breaths.
2. kerewin said:
The non-religious side of me says that your letting go of the spiral and maybe projecting a happy ending had nothing to do with you getting a call in 10 minutes. That they were both just good, happy things to happen in a short period of space.
Except that the rest of me is sure they are linked and I am really glad you got your dog back without any problems. I am sure it was very heartbreaking for you to go through that.
3. Mel said:
Awww...The perfect (wo)man's best friend...found. :)
4. DDM said:
*phew* I stopped breathing about halfway through that story. I am SO happy for your happy ending!!!
5. HappyMamatoThree said:
Gosh the saga of poor Chuck and after you had had such a splendid day. When we were little it wasn't the dogs it was the children. Undoubtedly one of the six of us would head off to the garden (vegetables not flowers) the apple orchard or the woods without telling anyone and the next thing you knew Mama was marching your butt back to the house with a switch. Yeah I'm guilty, and we weren't even microchipped.
Glad Chuck is home safe and sound and he wasn't too hungover.
C
6. Lori said:
I was almost afraid to get to the end for fear that you had not yet found him. I'm so happy he is home where he belongs.
7. MontanaJen said:
I'm not going to lie to you - I totally had to skim to the end of the post to make sure that the little guy was home safe. I had a pit in my stomach the same as when my girls get out and crazily sniff and bay and poop city-wide.
Happy Returns, Chuck.
8. thisgirlremembers said:
Man! It made me so anxious just READING about what you went through that about halfway through I had to skip down to the bottom, just to make sure everything turned out ok. One glance at "Welcome home, puppy" and I could go back to actually reading what you wrote. :)
So glad you found Chuck! I had a somewhat similar experience with my much-beloved cat when I was a kid, right down the the person one street over taking her in, only the lapse in time between losing and finding was - I kid you not - seven years. Yeah.
9. tropicalpopsicle said:
I lost a cat that my exboyfriend said was old enough to go outside. I believed him and my cat died. I'm so relieved that Chuck is home safe and he didn't spend a freezing night outside alone. I read the last part of this so fast to get to the end where I hoped I would find a happy ending! I'm very happy for you guys. I'm resisting the urge to use several exclamation points.
10. chefgirl said:
About halfway through, I had to skip to the end to make sure you found him! So glad that you did.
11. Ryan Melzer said:
This may be your best piece of writing, ever.
12. jmac said:
hallelujah...welcome home chuck!
13. lindsayc said:
getting chuck back = your best part of thanksgiving. glad he's home, safe and sound.
14. Jaycee said:
See, all that worry about nothing. I know, easier said than done to not worry, but thank the doggod that he was ok.
I live right near a very busy road and my dog has got out twice - once was my drunk sister leaving the side gate open, the other was when I'd just got her and didn't have a proper side gate. Both times she was found sitting by my front door. It's a big phew moment.
15. Stephanie said:
Man that must have been scary. I once, in my pregnancy stupor, let my two dogs out. It wasn't until 15 minutes later that I realized that I left the gate open. We lived by a busy street at the time and the worst ran through my mind. But there they were running around having the time of their lives. And there I was chasing after them barefoot, seven months pregnant and hyperventalting. Glad to hear Chuck is home safe and sound.
16. Dianna said:
Welcome home Congressman!!
17. Jewlzy said:
Holy Cow! I am so relieved that you guys found Chuck. I can only imagine how awful that entire experience must have been for you. I'm thankful for this post because I do that same spiral thing and Maggie is so right about focusing all that energy on something positive. You're lucky to have such a friend...and such a family and quite the awesome dog. And you deserve them all, Heather, and you share them with us :) Thanks dude!
18. Braidwood said:
Ahhh Chuck! I am so relieved that this story ended with Chuck and you reunited. whoo.
About the lead in to the story:
I used to suffer from major guilt about people who had a hard life. - I don't knwow why, come to think of it, since I wasn't all that lucky, but one thing I read really helped me. Hugh Prather (who has said some really dumb things also) said that adding one more unhappy person to the world won't help make the world a happier place. It helped me at the time.
Also, I once worked as an interviewer to match up volunteers with volunteer positions. There were thousands and thousands of volunteer positions, and lots and lots of people who wanted to be volunteers and that really lifted my spirits. All these people contributing all these small gifts all over the world. All to say that, the best antidote to luck guilt is to help out other people be lucky too.
19. Zookins said:
I couldn't breathe as I was reading that . . . my heart was breaking. V. happy he's home safe & sound!
20. Jill Shalvis said:
My heart was in my gut reading this, I'm so glad you found him! We lost Ashes for two long painful days last year and it was like losing a limb, lol. I can remember practically mauling the animal protection service guy when it took him forever to open the back of his truck, and then my dog popped out all hey, how ya doing, got any doggie bisquits cuz I'm hungry ...
21. amy Jacobs said:
Oh good gravy that had me panicking. Simply put, you and I are cut from the same cloth. I'm a worrier's worrier to the core. Being a mother makes it even worse, as I'm sure you realize. I've totally had that night about a dog...and a cat...and an hour last year with my three year old! She hide from me as I screamed her name so loud I lost my voice. I've never felt such panic in my life as I ran outside just envisioning her kicking and screaming in the back of some child molester's car. I begged her to show herself through sobs and finally she just was in front of me...apparently my major shit fit scared her like mad and she wouldn't come out because she thought I was angry with her. When I saw her I literally collapsed to the ground...knees just buckled.
Not sure what to tell you about the worrying thing because I am notorious for it myself. I hate it and I cherish it because at least I know I'm not floating through life with rose colored glasses on. Bad things do happen. We shouldn't dwell of course, but who is say being emotionally or mentally prepared in some part doesn't really make you happier in life in a way...more aware and careful anyway, or at least this is what I allows tell myself, lol.
So glad he is home. And find out WHY his chip didn't go off...you guys paid for that, it should have showed up like a beacon (not that I'm worried he might go missing again or anything...but making sure it's working might not be a bad idea. See...I'm already worrying he'll get lost all over).
22. Mim said:
Oh Goodness... I am so HAPPY you found Chuck. This happened to me a few years back with my boy Keyzer, I remember calling my job bawling and telling them I was not coming to work until I found my dog.
Give Chuck hugs and kisses and many treats
23. JWo said:
There's nothing like the feelings when you've realized he's missing, finally giving in to accept the situation. That's when we found our pooch after our front door blew open while we were out, having left the collar of the dog. We knew the door was faulty.
It was a week before we found him. A couple with 3 dogs had found him, but had their own family tragedy the next day that kept them from contacting us. The sounds he made when picked him up?
Priceless. (He too had a story to tell!)
It's amazing what animals bring to our lives. Congrats on finding him!
24. Wonked said:
Sometimes I look into Wonka's soulful eyes and convince myself that he is one skipped biscuit away from making off with a stripper and developing a coke habit. I guess I have the opposite problem.
One time I accidentally locked him out and my neighbor said Wonka sat at my front door for four hours waiting for me to let him in.
26. Sleepless in St. Louis said:
Don't know what all the fuss was? Sounds like a typical congressional junket to me. Alot of playing and partying whilst the the constituency worries about the state of the district.
27. anne nahm said:
Glad he's back!
28. RzDrms said:
you made up leta to have something to talk about on this website?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? ;)
seriously, i'm sooooooooo glad you found him...i, too, had to skip to the end. and i love his little cocked ear; too cute.
btw, what are your "tall teeth"? are you telling me that even your TEETH are tall?! ;)
kidding again. have a great rest-of-the-week.
29. Jackie said:
I'm too afraid to have children because I think I might forget them on the roof of my car and drive away. So... I mean, it happens. Don't beat yourself up too much.
And that republican nascar pic was wonderful. Thank you.
30. babbling said:
there ARE times when you do not want your escaped dog to return home. Like the time my roly poly Huskey type (affectionatly known after this story as speed bump) bowled over my 8 year old daughter to squeeze through a sliver of daylight in the doorway. She promptly took off after the highschool cross country track team, in the path of a very very nice Cadillac. Of which she bounced off the front of, breaking the grill, and turned around to trot back to our porch, panting happily and gazing at me putting on my shoes to go chasing her. The driver followed her path to our front door, and then began a 30 min wait for police officers who were changing shifts, the angry driver being told that the officer couldn't exactly issue a ticket to the dog. My husband arrived home minutes after it happened to wisk Speed bump to the vet where she was pronounced to be fit as a fiddle. Apparently she bounces.
31. JennJenn said:
What an awesome post! An absolutely awesome post. Even more awesome than "How awesome will it be?"!
If it is any consolation, both my Father and I ran over our cat many years ago.
First he did it when I was about 10 years old, then I did it when I was 17. The cat still lived. She died of complications from diabetes/failing kidneys when she was 15. Who would have known it was the milk with sugar I would feed her every week that would eventually kill her?
And here I thought I was being nice by sweetening a delicious bowl of "constipation for cats".
I'm a GOOD MOTHER!!!
25. jeporter said:
A lovely post. It made me sad, then sadder, then as happy as a...well, really happy. Just one question:
What's wrong with pajamas with purple chickens?
32. Audrey said:
I, too, had to skim down to make sure there was a happy ending. The tension was just killing me! I am so incredibly happy that Chuck made it home safely. I know I would be absolutely devastated if my dog were lost.
I also couldn't help but think to myself, "Hey, SexEdInHigherEd just wrote about a tooth-spitting-out dream," and "Hey, I just wrote about my awful experience and the hangover that followed with Long Island Iced Tea" as I read this.
But mostly I was thinking "Thank goodness Chuck is home safe!"
33. wannabemae said:
Maggie's correct about worry creating the very thing we are worried about...in my words...we create our own hell.
Chuck...I'm glad you are home safe and sound after a night spreading Chuck merriment to the masses.
34. Daisy said:
Welcome home Chuck!!!
35. TeenSleuth said:
If only logic could break the spiral for me. I hope it does for you. My heart would definitely explode if I lost my cat. Even for a second.
36. allielune said:
Just wait until Leta can open the door on her own and "help let puppy out". Talk about a whole new realm of panic and constant anxiety. Livin' it and lovin' it! Glad Chuck is home and great idea about the chip. Hopefully Animal Control will check more than once next time.
37. lawyerish said:
I've recently concluded that I suffer from a similar anxiety-spiral because I am afraid of letting myself be happy. Because if I am happy, I am simply inviting tragedy. So when things are going really well in my life (like now -- eep!), my brain invents ways in which I will somehow end up, in a very compressed period of time, being fired, disbarred, publicly shamed, divorced, friendless, and destitute. It's pretty amazing, really, the power of the mind. Because I'm able to tell myself that this is a perfectly plausible result, even though plenty of other people live their lives just fine without some cosmic retribution. But my life is different, because it's me. And I apparently haven't earned the right to be happy like everyone else.
Anyway. I'm glad Chuck is home safely. The thought of a dog, any dog, wandering about alone and sad is too much for me to bear, and if that had been my dog -- who can barely go outside when it's below 75 degrees as it is -- I would have had my head in the oven.
38. sarilla said:
I too loved the story though knowing that it was real made it more scary along with how heart rending it was. I love how much you really love Chuck. He certainly is irresistably adorable.
On the worry side--it's so reassuring to know that others have irrational fears that plague them. I have recurring nightmares about being/becoming bald. Or leave the house and panic several blocks later that I didn't turn the oven off.
39. Zazzy said:
First, I'm so happy Chuck is home safe and sound. Like others, I had to skim to the end to be sure. When my Freddie used to get loose now and then I was afraid not only that he would get run over or something - but that he'd eat someone and I'd end up in prison for manslaughter by canine.
Second, your insights and the spiral really speak to me and it's something I need to really contemplate. The idea of not feeling bad because I don't have it worse is somehow potentially life changing. Thank you.
40. Russweasel said:
I have a cunning plan... Reverse spiral. Start at your front door, with the former congressman on his leash and circle the block visiting each neighbor. Introduce yourself, and Chuck, then explain that he has had two adventures already and that he may be paying his respects on some future date. Give each neighbor one of Chuck's business cards and wish them a happy holiday. Repeat in expanding loops until dog-boy looks tired. This should be roughly equal to his random wander range.
It will either help in the event of a future escape, or alter your awareness so indelibly that it never happens again.
BTW, I had to do this after "losing" my dog several times one summer. He got out once more, but had only been "missing" for about 2 hours before I got a call.
41. Julie said:
Oh. My. God. My stomach hit the floor as I hit the middle of this post. Thank God you found him, or I might have spent the rest of the night staring at my pooch, crying my eyes out. And of course I'm extremely happy for you, too ;)
42. Hets said:
Oh, Heather! Before I finished reading, and saw that you told yourself to "let go", my heart sank! I am so glad he is back. My other thought was that someone who had been reading your blog took Chuck because they know how amazing he is! I might have been hard pressed to give him back myself.
43. Kristen from MA said:
jeezus, Heather, i just had a small heaart attack at the thought of Chuck being lost forever!
i'm so glad that he's safe and that your ordeal is over.
44. ReeBecki said:
OMG! I was almost ready to go to SLC and find Chuck myself because this world wouldn't be right without Dooce and her dog.
Also I wanted to say that your diagram reminded me of my mother. Could the spiral be caused from living in Utah? She lived there for almost 11 years. Just a point to ponder.
OK give Chuckles the love he deserves!
45. Mary Craig said:
This comment is for Chuck. Please to make sure he gets it.
Jesus, God. Chuck. Dude. You have GOT to stop doing this kind of thing. Seriously. Not kidding.
46. Hedy said:
"his toys and rawhide bones scattered underneath my feet like little Polaroids of his life"
I cried at that but still can't come close to imagining what you went through. So glad Chuck's home safe again.
47. Zee said:
Ohhh, thank god you found him!! Losing my dog is my worst worst worst nightmare so I can only imagine how you felt! Thanks for sharing this with us, Heather - it can't have been easy.
48. Sarah Crawford said:
Thank you for happy endings. Now please put a collar with tags on the congressman.
49. Renae said:
Oh honey, I'm so sorry! I would be hysterical if I lost my dog. I'm really glad it worked out and he's home safe and sound.
50. winecat said:
My heart completely stopped! I had horrible visions of Chuck out there in the night dealing with Mormons all on his own.
And what Mary Craig said - No more of this Chuck, our hearts can't take it
51. biscuitrat said:
I am soooooooo happy you found him! I don't know what I'd do if I weren't able to read about Chuck! I freaked out similarly two days ago. I was convinced my dog was in the house, because I could hear her collar jangling around somewhere, but she wasn't anywhere to be found so I ran around in the street looking for her. Turns out she was waiting at the patio door to be let in and occasionally came by the open kitchen window and jangled and jangled and jangled me into insanity. Pets are people too - it's okay to love them too much! Stay spiffy :)
52. mark said:
I'm glad that Chuck is home safe and sound. Good luck with "the Spiral" - I know so many worriers (I'm not one) and it's about as easy to quit as meth.
53. delphiblue said:
oh, chuckles. glad you're back.
54. Lori said:
Sorry you had to go through this, but thankfully it all worked out. And you've realized you can stop the Spiral. A phenomena I am all to familiar with.
And BTW, timed math tests BLOW. My 3rd grader has such a difficult time with them that he just gets stuck and can't finish.
55. gypsy said:
If my dog got away for longer than 15 minutes I would dedicate my entire blog to her for eternity. No reason not to write about what's real.
Luckily, she's arthritic and walking farther than the distance between the couch and the food bowl is a task akin to doing the Tour de France, so there's not much danger. But reading this account made me a little sick to my stomach anyway.
56. Sara said:
I'm so glad this has a happy ending.
57. houstontxteddy said:
I must admit it, I too went right to the ending of this entry. Reading this made me sick to my stomach with anxiety! We are SO glad Chuck is safe.
58. Elizabeth said:
I don't know Maggie (although I did glimpse her at BlogHer and her hair is indeed amazing), but she seems like a good friend to have. I understand what she means when she says that it's possible to worry until what you're worrying about actually happens. And although I wish you didn't have such bad anxiety, the fact that you worry so much about people who are less fortunate than you shows what a good heart you have.
That being said, I'm so glad you found Chuck! You're lucky to have such kind, congressman-loving neighbors. Oh, and by the way, my husband flew to Salt Lake City today on business, and I jokingly said "say hello to Dooce for me", and he said "WHO'S DOOCE?" And then my head exploded. As IF.
59. marnie said:
OK, I have never actually lost my dog, my my stomach was up in my throat until I heard Chuck was safe and sound.
I just try to kill my dog by feeding him razor blades... well, I didn't actually force it down his throat, but he ate a razor blade none-the-less.
Glad Chuck was out shagging the neighbours dog and not... well eating razor blades or something horrific like that...
http://thefates3.blogspot.com/2006/10/halloween-miracle.html
60. valerie said:
holy crap. i thought it was the end of an era there...thanks be to God that you found chucko, and tell him that if he EVER pulls this kind of shit again, i will personally come out from California & kick him in the butt!!!!
61. shel said:
ok, i was on the edge of my seat, slighty nauseous and on the verge of tears. because of chuck, i live vicariously through you as a dog owner. i'd kill to have a kickass dog such as master c.
i am sooooooooooo glad that he was found and is safe and back home. give him some hugs and kisses from northern california, would you?
62. tksinclair said:
The spiral. I hate the spiral. I have it too. Is it primarily a female, overachiever thing? Is it worse since you've become a mother?
I'm so happy Chuck was found safe and sound. One of our four dogs was found. I can't imagine our lives without her but often wonder why her previous owners never made more of an effort to claim her. We found her outside a Starbucks on a cold rainy day and who knows, maybe she traveled several miles or several states before we found her. We'll never know for sure - we can't get her to talk about it. The vet feels, due to physical problems, that she may have been abused so it might have been for the better.
63. Ana said:
Heather,
this post made me tear up. That anxiety and pressure sure builds up. The release in that deep breath, when you really mean it, feels really good.
Thank god that dog made it home. I don't think I'D be able to sleep tonight!
64. Kissyface said:
Maggie's right, you are walking directly into what you fear. The timing of this is no accident; this is spirituality 101, and she just handed you the primer. You really made this one happen, and you know what? Everyone is okay. You're a good person, a great writer, and an even greater mom. Please don't interpret any of this as condescending, I've been right about where you are most of my life, maybe a little less OCD, but right down to the tooth-loss dreams, I hear you loud and clear. By the way, I understand that this particular slumber-time drama can signify a feeling of powerlessness, which sits feeding the roots of fear, and vice versa. Maybe it's a symbiotic relationship.
Anyway, just make your spiral an upward one. It's clear from your blog that it's what you've been working on anyway. You're doing much better than you think.
I'm so glad your amazing dog and lovely family are safe. No worries, Ladybug.
65. mediadiva said:
I'm so glad you found your baby! I would much rather I lost my dog, then somene else lost my dog, know what I mean?
66. Betsy said:
"At some point yesterday morning I realized I had to let go, had to stop gritting my teeth because that was not helping us find the dog any faster. I had to stop imagining him frozen in a ditch, or at least hold off on that spiral until we had at least talked to one animal shelter. And I swear to god, it wasn’t ten minutes after I had taken that huge, calming breath that we got a phone call. I know it was just a coincidence, but it was a loud coincidence."
Heh-heh- do you realize that some sick bastards would say that you have "surrendered control to Christ?"
67. mediadiva said:
I am so happy you found your pupper! I would much rather I lost my dog, then someone else did, know what I mean?
68. MadCarlotta said:
Sweet jesus woman, you nearly gave me a heart attack!
69. Talon said:
oh my god!! *hugs you hard* I am so glad you found Chuck!! You had me nearly crying until I reached the part where you found him. *growls about microchips* What is up with that???
I'm so glad the people who found him took good care of him though, and I'm so glad you have your emo-boy back!!
70. >^..^< said:
GodDAMN, that was a lot of drama! I'm so glad that your Chuck-er-upper Puppers is home :) I once had a dream that I lost my kid at Disneyland that was so vivid I woke up crying. I feel your pain, Heather.
71. Jason said:
Glad that you found him!
72. Kathy said:
I'm glad you got your boy back safely. Echoing another person, put a tag on him. And put your cell phone number on the tag.
A friend's husband left the gate ajar the other night when he went to work. She looked out, saw the open gate, panicked, went racing out the door...and all-but tripped over her two dogs sitting on the step waiting to come back in.
Another friend lost two greyhounds out an open gate. (There's been an epidemic of lost dogs around here.) She had both dogs back within the hour because both went up to total strangers in the neighborhood to beg for treats. (She's the one who learned not to put her home number on the tag. Or, at least, to activate call-forwarding from home-to-cell phone.)
73. mikecpeck said:
your.best.post.ever. Thank you for sharing it.
74. d to the j said:
just out for a stroll, eh? happy endings are always the best!
75. KillCreek said:
Heather! Oh my god! And YAY! I lost my dog for 10 days in the freezing cold once. I don't think I slept more than an hour each night. I know that panic. I am so happy you got him back.
76. cailey said:
You really like to build up the tension in a story, huh? I was sitting there telling myself to not peak at the end and that 'of course they found him'. Still, I was just about as worried as I was when my own dog disappeared after we'd had him for just two weeks and he was still a puppy. Luckily he was trapped by his collar in the vines on our fence (weird, I know)and he couldn't bark.
You really had me on edge. Great writing.
77. Laura D. said:
I also wonder if the "spiral" is a female thing or an overachiever thing or what. I find myself stuck in it quite often.
I was so anxious reading about your story! So glad you found Chuck.
78. Stefanie said:
Welcome back Chuck!
79. mirage1 said:
I think you just took some time off my life (and I'm just someone who admires him from afar!). This seems to have been the Year of Devastating Doggie Tragedies--I can name 8 just right off the top of my head--and I was very concerned that Chuck might have been one more victim.
I'm glad he's home.
80. digsite said:
OMG, I nearly started crying halfway through that story thinking you were going to say he was still out there lost and wanding the cold, lonely streets. SO glad you found him!
81. No-Sister said:
Wow, I felt sick with worry until I found out Chuck was okay. I kept telling myself, "Okay, she wouldn't have written an intro if he was still missing." But still, knowing the agony of fear I suffer anytime I think about my dog getting out of the yard, anyone being mean to my dog, my dog choking on a piece of chicken jerky, my dog being maybe slightly less than giddily happy for one second out of a day, I still know that I can only IMAGINE how afraid you were until you got to kiss him on his little puppy nose.
And thank you for being so candid about the anxiety spiral. People who don't deal with it will never understand how the smallest little thing can snowball into a massive, gut-wrenching worry, but it's nice to read that someone else gets it! Even if I wish, for your sake, you didn't!
82. Torrie said:
First- Thank God
Second- Can you (or Maggie) please teach me how to do that not worrying thing?
83. zero2gourmet said:
I laughed, I cried. Great post and I'm glad you found Chuck.
84. zero2gourmet said:
I laughed, I cried. Great post and I'm glad you found Chuck.
85. Kathleen said:
First time commenter de-lurking to say that I am so glad Chuck is ok!! My heart was in my mouth as I was reading your post.
And, for what it's worth, I, too, am a victim of The Spiral. It drives my (very type-B) husband (not to mention myself!) crazy. I'd like to think I'm getting better at letting go...but I know deep down that it's likely one of things I will have to work on overcoming for the rest of my life.
86. Argie said:
The worrying constantly about worst case scenarios...it's called "Catastrophizing" according to my neurologist. My husband and I will frequently ask each other if we're catastrophizing about something when our reactions seem a bit intense...but I truly think it's part of being a parent. Parents used to have to worry about huge animals eating their babies...now we have different, less in-your-face worries. But, still as intense worries. Being a mom changes you forever, and if catastrophizing helps me keep my babes safe, then so be it! Catastrophize on Dooce!
87. Carrie Johnston said:
GAH! I was ON. EDGE. the whole second half of that story. I kept thinking, "NO MORE CHUCK?! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ON FRIDAYS?!" Thank goodness for neighbors taking him in so he wouldn't turn into a pupsicle. (HAR!) Okay. Bye.
88. veg4me said:
I actually sat on the couch watching Deal or No Deal last night and convinced myself to not "play at home for a chance to win $10,000" because if I did win the money, I would want to fly myself and the kids to visit my husband who is deployed. Of course, the plane would crash before we ever made it to him and it would all be Howie Mandel's fault and my husband would spend the rest of his life a mere shell of his former self, muttering to inanimate objects "I always told her how much I hated that stupid show".
89. token said:
Oh, sweetie! I'm so glad he was returned to you. I've been there, too. My pup was gone so long I thought she'd been adopted by a family who couldn't stand to part with such a great dog! I did my very best not to think the very worst, you know...
Forgive, but remember, and move on.
90. marcilambert said:
sorry about your trauma with chuck. but glad he's back.
about those spirals: i have had them too. usually when i'm trying to fall asleep at night. i had to make the very deliberate effort to stop imagining the worst. it took a while, but i'm much better at stopping myself now. maybe it would help you too. anxiety sucks.
91. yakoff said:
I did that. It happens. I also live my life in terror about missing some little thing that can lead to major problems. I have learned that even if I figure everything out ahead of time, someone else will screw it up. So, be at peace.
92. Lori MacBlogger said:
I know that it is not at all the same thing, but I had massive anxiety over turning 30 for reasons I could never put my finger on. Once I turned 30, and realized that my life was still the same only, wait, all of a sudden, all of the pressure was off (finding a man, career success, etc.) I could finally let it go. That is hardly anyone's worst fear, but I do feel like once I had just stopped and looked it in the face, I was okay.
93. Jonniker said:
I am the same way with anxiety. It's not that I like worrying, per se, but I feel like worrying is what I have to do to keep the universe turning. Because if I'm not worrying about something, or working myself up into some sort of wild spiraling anxious mess, therefore CREATING something wrong for myself - something controllable, easy to manage, self-inflicted - then the universe will choose something ELSE to go awry for me. Something I can't control.
This is all such a ridiculous mode of thinking and yet, there it is. It's clear we're not alone in it. It's debilitating, and not worth it, and as many say, sometimes the greatest risk is for us to be happy. Because if we're happy, there's nothing for us to work on/worry about/control.
I'm so happy Chuck is home safely. Thank God.
94. Tracy aka Fuzzball said:
Okay true confessions time:
When I was a wee tot I would periodically tell my teachers/parents/coaches/etc that I "couldn't take a deep breath". They sent me to pulmonary specialists who couldn't find anything wrong with me. Then in high school I would go to the emergency room on a regular basis with horrific stomach pains that no gasteroenterologist could diagnose. What was the source of years of mystery maladies? WORRY. Yep, anxiety crippled me for about 20 years until I found my oh-so-wonderful shrink. I worried about EVERYTHING. I made myself completely ILL! Don't get me wrong, I still suffer from anxiety, but medication/therapy helps a lot. It's hard when people say "what do you have to worry about" when you know that your body chemistry is working against you. I've decided to start telling those people to suck it. Yeah!
Also, I cried like a big ole baby while I was reading about the Chucklette. My family had a similar scare a couple of months ago, and the signs that we posted brought our baby home! Hooray!
95. di said:
Chuck is the only dog I have ever known (via text) that makes me want to have a dog, as I am a cat person since birth. I'm so glad he's home safe and sound! Don't worry, be happy!
96. Karen Rani said:
Chuck hasn't learned the art of not getting picked up by Animal Control? Ruffy bit the handler and barked for her only other enemy: the mailman. Our asshole mailman has one redeeming quality: he is incredibly nosy and knows everything about everyone in our neighbourhood. Glad it worked out in the end.
Also, The Spiral only has as much power as you give it. Listen to Maggie.
97. Erin said:
After seeing Chuck's flier, I just had to read ahead to see that you found him. Whew! Welcome home, Congressman!
98. Heather said:
The list of dirty, dirty things my husband and I would be willing to do to get our animals back if they went missing would be long and not for the faint of heart. Glad neither of you had to perform any.
99. Mrs. Kennedy said:
Well done.
100. Valeta said:
Yay for finding Chuck. I couldn't believe what I was reading when you said he was lost. I had real tears. I never thought I cared so much for a dog who I have never met nor do I personally know his owners.
<3
101. Mine said:
I know its all about narrative and all but I could have really done with the knowledge that you had Chuck back at the beginning of that tale...
How'd he do that with his ears?
102. tracythompson said:
You haven't given up The Spiral; you're just Spiraling in a different direction. Churck didn't show up because you stopped worrying, and the worrying you did before has nothing to do with the presence/absence of people worse off than you. Worry is about control, but it's the illusion of control. It's like the old joke, where the pastor advises his congregation, "Most of the things we worry about never come true," and a guy in the back says, "See? It works!" Now, having experimented with giving up the illusion of control--presto!--the phone rings, and Chuck is back. You didn't make that happen, either, dudette. Trust me. There is nothing you can tell me about worry I don't know already.
103. andrew1971 said:
as a fellow resident of Salt Lake, I can attest that the last couple of days would be EXTREMELY bad ones to be stuck outside.. (especially yesterday's sleet-snow-horizontal-wind-crapstorm, omigosh!)
isn't it odd, in a vicarious car crash kind of way, how one person's fright and agony, related in the creative-non fiction style that has taken over everything from the new yorker to blogs, also creates extremely riviting writing??
this piece HAD me... (like the first time I watched the movie JAWS)...
of course, ya gotta have skills like heather's to write narritive this well.... it's easy to forget, as we read this blog, what a damm fine writer she is... even if she experiences fear and worry spirals over other things, as a writer, she is as fearless and daring (and skilled) as any extreme sports athlete...
hmmm, maybe blogs, especially personal ones like this, are a kind of extreme sport for a writer.... A Novel might be like an ironman triathlon, this is skydiving.... over and and over...
(ivory tower flavored analysis aside, I am also VERY glad chuck made it home....)
104. Mary said:
I am so glad this story had a happy ending. Chuck is the only reason I read Dooce and without him, I'm afraid I'd just have quit visiting.
105. milkmaid said:
I held back the tears, all the way to 'scrotum tattooed on his forehead', then they came streaming.
Welcome home Chuckster.
106. cyndy said:
Dude, so glad Chuck is okay. Started crying hysterically half way through, I barely could read the rest that told me he was okay.
107. MelanieinOrygun said:
And now I can tell you that, having lost many dogs over the years, some that never came back, I was sitting here with every muscle in my body totally tensed, hoping like hell you were going to end this post by saying you found him.
And thank goodness, you did.
What's more, I'm now uncomfortable with how much I care about the fate of a dog I only ever see on teh Intarnets.
108. Chrissy said:
Oh Heather, I'm so happy that Chuckles is okay and back home safe and sound.
And I'm glad to hear you're doing better too.
And if you think you're terrible. I left my poor dog outside and went back to bed and slept for 4 hours. Did I mention that I live in Alaska and this was winter? I found him huddled in our arctic entryway against the door, shivering, nearly frozen to death. I never forgave myself. Then what did I do not a month later? The same thing, except thank God, I didn't go back to bed.
Anyway. Love your site. You're an inspiration.
109. HDC said:
This is how Chuck gets back at you for the Halloween costumes, the noodles, and the turkey jerky on the snout torture.
110. Lindsey Swan said:
I don't know how it possible to love a dog when you don't even know the dog . . . but I was just so happy at the end of your story. So happy he was safe! I don't know whether that speaks to the possibility of love and humanity via the internet or my need for a hobby, but I am so glad that he is home.
111. Natalie said:
It happens to the best of us... and yes, it's the most horrible, terrifying feeling. I'm so glad he was found safe and sound and you are able to stop hyperventillating now. :) WHEW!!
112. sasha said:
I'm so happy that your family is whole again. I know the feeling and it sucks.
And "retch, elegantly" made me snort hot tea out my nose.
113. Gelfmom said:
OMG! You had me there for a minute -- I thought a really crappy day was going to get even crappier and then......whoooo hoooooo!
It became a WONDERFUL DAY!!! Thank God (and the really nice neighbors) the Chuckster is back!
114. Candice said:
I want to give you a hug.
So much of what you've written sounds familiar to me, especially The Spiral. (Though it's more like a big, black, murky pit for me) I visit it on an almost-daily basis. It's like...well, this is a good example: Last night, I saw a picture downtown Atlanta. The first thing I think of is my brother. He and his family moved down there this past summer. So it's all good. I'm looking at the picture, thinking about my brother, things are fine. But then three things come to mind.
Number one: I notice the traffic. It's an awful lot of traffic. And my brother...well, we're from Kansas. There's not enough people in the state for any road in Kansas to have real traffic. So, what if he doesn't know how to get through that? What if some guy gets impatient and starts riding his bumper? What if the only way my brother can get out of the way is by going into the other lane? And what if some car in the other lane comes towards him and he doesn't have time to get back into the lane he's supposed to be in? And what if his wife is in the car? Then all us siblings have lost our leader, and my parents have lost their firstborn. And we've lost the only person who could make decent potato salad. And we've got their kids. The little one won't remember them, but the boys will surely have some issues to resolve. And just who's going to take them? I can't. I can't afford babies. And my parents have worked so hard to NOT have babies anymore. But...oh, crap. What if my sister-in-law's mother fights for custody? We'll never see them again! She hates us! Damnit.
Number two: I notice all the important-looking building in ATL. If a nuclear bomb hit the Coca Cola factory, would it reach their home in Acworth? Probably so. And if not, they would at least be badly burned, and would probably eventually die from radiation. But...what if everyone but Lindsay died? She's so small. What if she survives for DAYS after the rest of them and has to live through the agonizing pain of having 87% of your body burned? Damnit.
Number three: Hurricanes. Again, I say damnit.
Thinking of those scenarios led me throw up and then cry myself to sleep last night.
And I do that all the time. Honestly, give me anything and I can warp it into something pertaining to me, and I'll make myself literally sick over it.
So...sorry for typing this big long scary comment up. Just wanted to let you know that I understand completely what you're talking about.
Give Chuckles a kiss for me.
115. misstraceynolan said:
I could weep. What stress! On the bright side, this little walk on the wild side might help him if he wants to run for office again. Now he knows how the other side lives.
116. Gretchie said:
Maggie is brilliant. Your post about worrying really got me thinking that I suffer to some degree from that same paralyzing thing. Especially when it comes to money. I'm pretty sure we're all going to be tossed in debtors prison to die... raped repeatedly by a felonious accountant named "Alan". I love how you described it as a "loud coincidence". I've also heard "God Breezes", but found that a bit cheesy. Welcome back, Chucky. Wear that scrot tat like a badge of honor!!
117. Rose said:
Like others, I had to skip ahead to the end to know that Chuck was okay. I love that mutt from three time zones away. I can't imagine how awful it was for all of you when Chuck was missing. I'm glad he's okay, and I'm glad you're okay. Please rub his belly for me!
118. Scottysmum said:
I have been in your shoes often before, it is so devastating wondering where our furry family members are. I was so relieved to hear that Chuck was found - it renews my faith that there are good people in the world!
119. Lisa said:
Crap, I totally had to scan ahead to see the happy ending. Whew.
120. Jenorama said:
I am not the only person who has mentioned forgetting to breathe and gripping the computer during this read.
So very happy this had a happy ending.
121. Laura S said:
Heather, all you had to do was write a post that Chuck was missing and I think a resounding thud would have been heard across the country. I'm partial to him because he reminds me so much of our old buddy, Sargent.
And I'm so glad the little guy is home safe. ;)
122. jody2ms said:
Oh! I was so happy to see that Chuck was home safe and sound.
I am a worrier as well. I worry about everything, so I could really relate to this post. My newest worry is for my dog as well. We have had her for less than a month. Yesterday Honey fell off an outside window ledge that she climbed on (I guess she thinks she is a cat) and broke her leg. She had surgery today to set the bone and insert a pin to hold it. I have 4 kids, and didn't think I had any room in my heart for a dog, but this one has stolen it for sure. She has to spend the night at the vet tonight, and I miss the hell out of her. Tomorrow will not come soon enough.
It is funny, and so wonderful, that an animal can literally bring us to our knees with worry and love.
123. YankeeAmanda said:
So so so very glad it ended well!
124. AnitaBonita said:
Awwwwwwwww. I'm so glad it turned out ok.
But what the hell is wrong with purple cows on your pajamas!? The only thing wrong with them is when you get locked out of your hotel room because instead of too much with with dinner, you had too much wine WITHOUT dinner, and you have to walk down to the hotel lobby in front of all your colleagues and students and get a key back to your room.
*THAT* is the only think wrong with green, ahem, purple cows on your pink pajamas.
125. Elizabeth Soggs said:
I've been doing "The Spiral" since I was a child - it's only gotten worse since I've had children. I prefer to call it "Worst Case Scenario Thinking" - someone once told me there is actually a JOB where people get PAID to think of the worst thing that could possibly happen in a given situation - sign me up!! Glad you found your dog - whew!
Beth
126. Jemaleddin said:
How can a blog entry about a lost dog make me hold by breath and chew my nails when I'm a well-known dog-hater? Oh yeah - when the writing is so damned good. Thank you for sharing that - it was really brave, considering the number of wack-jobs that email you.
127. Gooooder said:
Phew.
While I was reading this, I showed my husband the missing poster and said, "Oh nooo, he's missing again."
He responded "Who's missing?" While looking at the right at the poster. Then I angrily said, "What do you mean WHO? DONT YOU KNOW WHO CHUCK IS BY NOW?"
He really is a big part of this site. I'm glad you found him.
128. Autumn said:
I'm so happy that Chuck is home safe and sound!
On another topic...when are you going to make comment about all this stuff with Britney Spears? If you haven't heard about it...you can read all the juicy gossip here: http://x17online.com/
129. Autumn said:
and you can read and see more here...although you might not really want to see...http://www.thesuperficial.com/
What is going on with her??
130. furious said:
I’m very familiar with morbid thoughts and worst-case scenarios. It’s a side effect of having at least half a brain and a creative heart. It’s a giant beast and you learn to tame it.
I found your blog by luck and have spent the last few days reading it. ALL of it. And I want you to know that I get you. ALL of you. Consider yourself gotten.
131. Princess of Power said:
OMG. Why was I starting to cry? I am so glad he has been returned home!
132. mireille1 said:
Oh, thank God. I mean it. xoxo
133. Mia said:
Oh Thank Goodness! I'm so glad he's safe. And glad you are trying not to spiral, although seems like the world has a nasty sense of humor when it comes to you!!
134. Foster said:
Having lost a dog for a week once, I feel for you. I am glad he is home safe.
135. birdie said:
Holy Mary Mother of God and That Which Is Good And Holy And Smells Faintly Of Dog Breath.
About half-way through the post I thought for sure he was gone forever. Or, if you're from Mississippi (as I am, and am hence allowed to make fun): He done up and runned away! Maybe he can find hisself a 'coon to gnaw on for supper!
136. RzDrms said:
i think i'm gonna pray for candice...
137. vetmommy said:
I am so glad Chuck is home. Elegantly written as usual.
138. Workman said:
Breathe deeply, consume kibble, breathe some more.
Like others, I was reading with my heart in my mouth. Glad to read the happy ending.
139. zchamu said:
My heart stopped when I got to the bad part. I am so. SO glad he's home.
Don't beat yourself up. Shit happens, you know? My dog's gotten out a couple of times and I know the horrified feeling. I'm just so thankful for you that you got him back. No harm, no foul, he's home.
Yay SuperChuck!
140. FashMags said:
I'm so happy he's home!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!! Badcat & T-Bone send their love!
141. heathabee said:
Heather, I am so happy that Chuck is home safe and sound, and thank you for sharing the story with us! I had to stop and scroll down to the bottom to make sure that it all turned out ok; I couldn't take the suspense! But what a happy ending! It's so hard to just "Let it go" and "give it up" and I'm glad that you were able to do so and that you saw the benefits of it.
Oprah tells a story along the same lines, about wanting that role in the Colour Purple so badly, and begging for it, and obsessing about it and making phone calls, and praying about it... it took over her life. While she was running around a track at some 'fat camp', she was thinking about how she couldn't MAKE the director give her the part, and so she let it go, and gave it up to God and almost instantly, someone (from wherever she was) came down to the track and told her that she had a phone call. And it was Stephen Spielberg telling her to check out of the fat camp, because the character she was going to be playing needed to be that over-weight 'Mami' figure. She got the part.
Anyway, after that long story/schpeel, I just wanted to validate that what you did and tell you, GOOD FOR YOU. Giving it up, letting it go is a great and powerful thing to do, and I hope you find that you are able to do it more in order to escape your anxiety. I hope you find much comfort in your new anxiety-free life! :) best of luck to you!
142. SuperWife said:
i'm glad chuck is okay. losing your dog twice in one year doesn't at all sound crazy to someone who also has a dog with an actual mind of their own... i think my dog plans her escape attempts, and then mocks me when i see her dashing through the parking lot out my own window.
anyway, i have that same reoccurring nightmare about spitting out my teeth. i always thought it was god punishing me for being vain.
143. melinda said:
whoa! I just had that happen 2 weeks ago when my dog broke his tie-out. The one other time he did that, he showed up about the time I noticed he was gone. I only had about 45 minutes of anxiety before he showed up, compared to your hours, but it was ETERNITY! So glad Chuck made it home ok and sans tattoos :-P
144. Allison said:
I must agree with the many commentors who believe this is one of your best posts ever.
Once again, your honesty in your post is unbelieveable. I have to say as a sometimes writer, I look up to you majorly and this post has just reiterated that.
Thank you for sharing your life with us and not sugar-coating it. I know someday when I'm a mother and a wife and I'm super-worried or can't stop crying or incredibly depressed, I'll look back and think of you and maybe I won't freak out about my behavior being abnormal (at least not as much). Thanks for changing what the face of a modern-day mother looks like. I appreciate your ability to stand up and say, "This is me, and I'm not perfect."
145. deannie said:
I am so glad you took that breath. And that Chuck didn't get that tattoo. It would Soooo have messed up the calendar for me next year.
Glad you are both safe and sound.
146. Katie said:
THANK YOU for not posting this until you had found him...cause otherwise I would have been sitting in MD in my own spiral, wondering where Chuck might be and why there was nothing I could do a gazillion miles away. And it IS all about me.
I'm so happy you found him!
147. ecileh said:
Okay. I'll admit it. I am ridiculously attached to Chuck. So much so, in fact, that I was more worried about him as I read this than I was over the prospect that my (indoor) cat might have gone missing twenty minutes before we left for five days of Thanksgiving Hell.
I'm very relieved that he is home safe and sound. Give him a scritch for me. And I'll hug my dogs for you all, too.
148. LisaWech10 said:
Oh my goodness! Like just about everyone here, I had to scroll to the bottom to see if Chuck made it. My mom passed away last week and I took it reasonably well (all considered) but when my doggie got out and I thought something had happened, I almost had a meltdown. So, I understand totally about chuckles.
YEY for finding him!! I am so glad. Dooce wouldn't be the same without him.
149. Megan said:
Just remember, "To err is human; to forgive, canine..." Dogs don't hold grudges, and that is just one of the reasons why they're so wonderful. I'm glad the Former Congressman made it home safe and sound. Give him some love for me!
150. Heather said:
Next time, please put the happy ending first so that I can read the rest of the entry without a huge lump in my throat.
Welcome home, Chuck!
151. LadyBug said:
Oh, Heather, I'm SO glad you guys found him.
P.S. This was a beautiful post. Seriously.
152. Pete Dunn said:
Good to have you back, Chuckles.
Heather, you should know that all it would take is a simple post and all of us in the greater Morgidor would have mobilized the Home Teachers (or some shit) and been out there looking for the Chuckster. We'd have gone all Elizabeth Smart on his ass.
153. Kath :-) said:
I cried thru your whole post.
Thrilled beyond words that your family is complete once more.
154. John said:
Can I ask why you had Jon decapitated in the above pictured car crash?
155. Jennifer in Ohio said:
I had no idea Chuck was so petite. He only weighs 3 pounds more than my daughter! I'm so glad your story has a happy ending. I'd feel the same way if one of our cats got out: horrified, panicked, and sort of numb.
156. Postmodern Sass said:
Thank god. I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight. I couldn't stand it if anything happened to Chuck. Seriously. I just love that goofy dog, man.
157. Emily said:
I can't even begin to imagine the hysterics I would go into if my dog got lost. I am so relieved you got Chuck back. A Chuckless world is not a world worth living in.
158. RzDrms said:
i actually wondered why she had jon wearing a dress in the above picture (because you know that's not dooce). i guess jon must be a cross-dresser or something.
159. mystery mommy said:
Welcome home, Chuck!
160. Julia said:
thank goodness I didn't know - I LOVE that dog.
Tonight, after a stupid comment by his coach, my 14 year old ran out of the gym and was missing for 1 hour and 14 minutes. I thought my world had come to an end. he arrived home finally and said he felt better after he ran it off. good god.
161. Skeezeroo said:
OH MY GOD that just happened to me really recently! Only it was when it was incredibly HOT here this past summer, and I let my dog out in the back but I hadn't latched the gate after taking out the recycling crap to the alleyway. We noticed him missing around 8pm and then my husband and I took turns driving up and down the alleyways and streets in our neighborhood looking for him until 11:30pm. I drove up and down many more times the next morning, after having not slept a frigging BIT all night, fat eyes, guilt-ridden myself. And I had to wait until noon when the animal shelter opened up. My daughter (3) was all upset, worried about Floyd, and where was he, and why wasn't he home, and I had laid his bed and water and food on the front porch in case he came home, and he didn't, and she was a mess. And then I found him in the second to the last pen at the animal shelter, and we were all crying and beside ourselves. He was picked up a HALF A BLOCK from our house, at 8:20 pm the previous night, and had been there all night. He was without his collar due to having had a bath that day, so also, no way to identify him. So anyway. Long story. But I can relate. Glad you got him back.
162. Lolo said:
Dude, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO if I lost my dog. I can't even imagine it. I try, but my brain shuts down with utter terror. Oh, and dude, if you EVER write a post like that again, wherein I don't know if it's going to end well, wherein it isn't clear if that adorable patient puppy is going to be okay, I will seriously drive all the way to SLC and wrap noodles around your head. Seriously. I lost like a year of my life just now.
163. Molly Ray said:
I felt sick for you as I read. I am so glad he is home.
164. crzylady said:
oh thank goodness! as most people probably did I cried for the last half of the post and just kept telling myself she wouldn't write about it if they hadn't found him....with fingers crossed. We are very happy about it and my daughter Aurora and husband Edison send their love and best wishes with mine.
165. Nopa said:
Just wanted to say thank goodness you found him. I have literally nothing else to say, besides you freaked my shit out with that story. I'm so glad Chuck's ok.
-J
166. Beckcycle said:
Not only am I relieved that Chuck is home (WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE MICROCHIP DIDN'T WORK?! Does that happen often? BUT THE MICROCHIP HELPS ME SLEEP!)but I am also secretly a little happy that my dog isn't the only dog who would wander away under those circumstances. If Chuck-the-most-acrobatic-dog-ever would do it, then I guess I can't blame my dog.
167. cathbuzz said:
Glad to see Chuck is home and doing well.
I do have another theory for you about your worrying, because I too am a worrier. I am more of a flyweight to your heavyweight, but I figured out why I do what I do.
We (you and I and 99% of the people we know) have grown up steeped in stories from TV and books. Most of these stories follow the same couple of dozen themes, one of the major ones being that a person with everything going for them is plunged into their darkest tragedy in a split second. A happily family riding home in the car with a new puppy singing Christmas carols is just ASKING to be hit head-on by a semi, for example. So, everytime things are going well, or I'm especially happy, or even if I'm just driving down the street with my kids in the car and no one is screaming mommy mommy mommy, I can just picture the story arc where everything is going great in my life and then wham! Everyone in my family is killed.
168. Lis said:
Whew!! I was so stressed out while reading. It's so funny though, cause I bet Chuck had a great time while you guys were so worried. Do you think you'll set up a play date with the dogs of the neighbor who found him?
169. Indigopyro said:
Heather,
I relate in too many ways to your hillarious illustration of The Spiral. I am incredibly guilty of letting my worrywort imagination get to me. In fact, I must admit that half way through your tale of Chuck's adventure I immediately assumed he was dead - what a terrible thing to think!
I'm also the person who assumes that any time a strange sound comes from another room that someone/something has spilled, broken, died, etc. This is, of course, a terrible way to live and I was so encouraged to see that someone else's mind works this way too - and that it doesn't always have to be like that. Thank you for the laugh, the heartwarming tale, and helping me feel more normal.
P.S. - Not to suck up, or anything, but I think you're an amazingly talented writer and I read your blog religiously. You are wonderful! (I think we all need to hear that every now and then.)
170. leslieruth said:
Didn't know I could go through so many emotions in one blog reading. Glad to hear that Chuck is back safe and sound! Sound like Maggie was a much needed help at the perfect time. I'm a little jealous you have friends like that. Any tips on how to make friends when you move to a whole new frickin' state?
171. Alison said:
I found myself holding my breath halfway through this post. Glad Chuck is home sa