A Song About Moving
So the moving people who have all of our stuff, including our computers with our hard drives containing all of the data we need in order to work with our existing freelance clients, these movers, these people who hold hostage my lovely velvet couch and my summer clothing with the pretty delicate stitching and every journal I've kept since I was four years old, even the one where I write all of my R's backwards, they haven't arrived in Utah yet. They were supposed to be here last Wednesday, and then they said Friday, definitely Friday, but then all of a sudden it would have to be Sunday, no later than Sunday.
Well, by my calculations, Sunday was yesterday, and we haven't heard a single word from these terrorists. And I know I should just be patient and that other people in this world have it much, much worse. But I haven't told you the part about how these mover people said it was going to cost one thing, but really, in real life, it's going to cost us triple that one thing. And it wouldn't be so bad if, say, that one thing had been $6, because then we'd only have to pay $18. But let's suppose, and I'm only supposing here, that the one thing was actually $1800. I don't know about you, but I've got a spare $5400 in coinage just lying around, in the pockets of my pants and in the cup holder of my car, it's just going to be a bitch to gather it all up and count it.
Then there's the part where they charged us an extra $700 for packing supplies, after we'd packed up everything that we thought was packable. I guess everything we thought was packable didn't include everything, because people, they packed everything. They put our 11 foot by 4 foot bedroom rug into a box. They put the futon matress into a box. They put boxed-up books into another fucking box.
So I'm trying to remain calm. I'm trying not to react as violently as I did when the locksmith came to open the storage unit that morning in Los Angeles, and after three days of not sleeping and three days of my dog not eating and three days of putting my entire life into small cardboard boxes, I took a look inside that storage unit, realized that we had an entire other apartment to put into small cardboard boxes, and collapsed into a twitching, drooling and writhing beast.
But if these mover people don't call within the next 30 seconds, and I'm counting down right now, they are so gonna wish that they hadn't encountered this volatile former Mormon from Memphis who isn't so concerned about her eternal salvation and whether or not God is watching.
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Paul Gutman said:
Of very little comfort, I know, but this goes to my theory that anything involving real estate in the least is full of crooks, shysters, and liars of some variety or another.
12.09.02 - 07:35 AM / 1Ariel said:
Hmm. Triple charging and showing up six days late sounds like a breech of contract to me. I think America is calling and she's saying, "Dooce, be a good litigeous citizen and sue. SUE!"
12.09.02 - 07:35 AM / 2deadking said:
reminds me of that richard pryor movie
moving.
12.09.02 - 07:35 AM / 3the husband said:
Guess who just called?
12.09.02 - 07:36 AM / 4zach said:
If you yell they will come
12.09.02 - 07:38 AM / 5Marshall said:
Hey Dooce-O-Matic...I feel your pain. I just moved to Toronto from Vancouver, and had been given the heads-up on mover scams. I had a quality shipping scale with me at my house, and we weighed everything before it went on the truck. The driver signed off on the weights, and I got the movers to agree that my scale would not be more than 5% off. The upshot? My load was 40% lighter than they thought it was. I moved over 3000 miles for under $1500 CDN. They're all A$$H0LES, and you've got to watch their every move. Seriously.
12.09.02 - 07:45 AM / 6brittney said:
Think you'll tip?
12.09.02 - 07:55 AM / 7bucci said:
You need to rock their little fucking world so hard. So fucking hard. This shit pisses me off so much. The same crap when you take your car to the shop and they take advantage because they have all the cards. You must fuck them so hard they fucking bleed. Rage. Rage. RAGE!!!!!
12.09.02 - 07:57 AM / 8Ken said:
I know the feeling. Try going through the process of buying a house and having the seller decide to not show up at closing date. But of course living arrangements were meant to end that same day. Oh the joy of, as "Paul" said; crooks, shysters and liars.
12.09.02 - 08:04 AM / 9Antonio Monkerro said:
Moving's always a pain in the ass. That's why I insist on using a giant catapult instead of a moving truck.
12.09.02 - 08:05 AM / 10the movers said:
We're gonna be another day or two on that delivery. Traffic. Sorry.
12.09.02 - 08:10 AM / 11Benjy said:
Sounds like you're getting scammed. I saw something about moving companies doing this, so you might want to research... I could understand if it was something little like an extra $100 because you lived on the 4th floor or something, but triple?!? And $700 for boxing items that sure don't sound like they need boxing?
12.09.02 - 08:14 AM / 12megchem said:
Dooce, rip them a new one...annoy them until they give back some money...and them file all kinds of damage claims....i'm sure there will be tons of damage...there always is...
12.09.02 - 08:17 AM / 13Nonproductive said:
Come on now! You admitted that every journal since you were 4 yrs old is on that truck.
How do you expect them to read all that and *still* be able get through all those boxes looking for stuff to "lose" in only 6 days?
I bet if you let them pack it would've arrived quicker. Then they would already know where all the good loot was stashed.
12.09.02 - 08:18 AM / 14Tammy said:
calm down and good luck!!
12.09.02 - 08:22 AM / 15frumpple said:
careful, dooce. a friend had the same thing happen a couple years ago - except she couldn't come up with the extra dough. and she lost everything. didn't get one thing back. assholes.
12.09.02 - 08:30 AM / 16heather said:
After having movers steal stuff during one of many familial moves, we went to moving ourselves. A pain in the arse, but I can pack a truck like no one's business.
12.09.02 - 08:47 AM / 17Heather #2 said:
Fuck, that sucks. It's the not knowing that'll kill ya.
12.09.02 - 08:49 AM / 18Some Guy said:
This is definitely a scam, and guess what? There is very little you can do about it. Why? Because the federal government "de-funded" the department that is supposed to police these people. In other words, in theory the department exists, but with no money and no people. Again in theory, they cannot by law charge you more than a certain percentage of the estimate. But in reality, they will hold your posessions hostage until you pay up. I know it doesn't help you much at this point, but for anyone else thinking about moving, your best recourse is to find a mover who belongs to the Better Business Bureau. As part of their membership they have to agree to arbitration over pricing disputes. And make sure to check with the BBB, not the movers, to make sure they're up-to-date members. Also watch out for companies that have names remarkably similiar to well-known moving companies, but aren't really well-known moving companies.
My heart goes out to you Dooce. I hope things work out.
12.09.02 - 09:07 AM / 19terry said:
Packing things like boxed books and a futon in additional boxes in order to pad packing charges constitutes fraud. (I think 60 minutes or Hard Copy or some show did an expose on fraudulent movers who do this, among other things.) If they threaten to hold your stuff hostage until you pay, point to the extra boxing and tell them you're calling the police.
12.09.02 - 09:11 AM / 20propagandist said:
remember when you lamented being back in utah?
well, now they're on your turf.
send THEM home in a box.
12.09.02 - 09:20 AM / 21The Deuce said:
These movers deserve to piledriven, hit with steel chairs and thrown to rabid (Moon)dogs. (And given my background, I can have that arranged.) Hope you find some solace in the fact that others continue to feel the pain of your move. Parked snugly in front of your former aforementioned storage space on Saturday, again basking in the independence of my new space. Two hours later, noticed that i had been cited by an evil cock-sucking parking nazi; seems my VW was "one-inch" over the alloted space, carelessly blocking the path of dog-walkers and orthodox jews in the 'hood. sweet banana fuck. on the bright side, noticed that previous tenants left behind a broom and a near-full box of trash bags. life is good. i'm sure of it.
12.09.02 - 09:31 AM / 22Kerry said:
Horrific events like these are exactly the reason why we have shows like 20/20.
12.09.02 - 09:31 AM / 23exsouthern babtist said:
What is the name of the moving company? I'm sure that none of us would ever want to do business with them. Oh, and I would double check your stuff when it arrives to make sure everything is definitley there. People, go figure.
12.09.02 - 09:43 AM / 24hilatron said:
I'm a recent mover myself, and my god, just reading that give me an anxiety attack. Good luck with your evil movers, Dooce. You need a girl with a mean temper and lead pipe, you give me a call.
I'm gonna go hug all my stuff now.
12.09.02 - 09:56 AM / 25peggy said:
So *that's* what that big-ass truck trying to turn around in my driveway was all about.
12.09.02 - 10:04 AM / 26April said:
i HATE moving.
12.09.02 - 10:13 AM / 27The Mighty Jimbo said:
Anything involving moving is highly suspect, almost always unexthical. Wait till you get your stuff before taking serious action. And talk to a lawyer. And the BBB. And the Chamber of Commerce. And start watching the Soprano's for research.
12.09.02 - 10:13 AM / 28cicada said:
If you paid for your move with a card, keep a close eye on your statements in the coming months. Another trick that movers sometimes pull is to wait a couple of months and charge you again. I've had that happen twice now. Bastards, all!
12.09.02 - 10:14 AM / 29Erika said:
The website link is for the Department of Transportation regarding moving companies. Hope it helps. We are about to move from Cal. to Mass. and your story is pretty scary!
12.09.02 - 10:19 AM / 30