Eli and Chuck
Beth took this photograph last week and captured Chuck's look of "I was just in the neighbor's backyard doing something I wasn't supposed to be doing, but you still love me, right?" You can tell he's guilty by the way his ears are turned sideways like that.
Happy Birthday (Yesterday) to Eli!
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Heather talks about public tantrums (from kids) on today's Momversation.
- RIP Louis Mortimer Armstrong: http://bit.ly/1R4tv6
- Hugs and kisses to you, too! RT: @Monkey_Tree: @dooce he probably committed suicide because he was tired of LISTENING TO YOU WHINE.
- Our fish just died. And I'm sitting here crying. And it wasn't even my fault!
1. Nell said:
Laughing at the "just got laid" strut.
I love Chuck! And Eli is such a cute boy.
2. Rabooka said:
I think Chuck wants to challange Eli to a race. The winner gets a Carmel chocolate chip cookie...yum!
3. Fran said:
Where can I find that Christmas 2003 picture of Chuck that is on that person's desktop or wherever?
4. Dara said:
Eli also looks like he was doing something he shouldn't be doing. Heehee!
5. Kaycee said:
If by "doing" you really mean "doo-ing," then, yes, that is exactly what happened.
No, you won't still love me, but I feel SOOOO much better.
6. Colleen from NJ said:
I have a cat that couldn't care less if you caught her puking up a hairball-encasted chipmunk on the brandy new wool rug. I admire Chuck for his conscience.
7. Colleen from NJ said:
i meant "encased"... sorry, upon reading that, it's just gross.
8. Jenny said:
Eli's one good looking kid!
9. Michelle said:
SO cute!
and congrats on the diarist award finalist thingy... now everyone go vote for dooce!
10. kp said:
okokokokok
so forgive me if someone has already said this, but!
for NEXT halloween
dress chuck up like a swan
and leta sort of princessy and then! they can be leta and the swan.
ha!
...man i'm funny.
and yes, i know it's "leda"
11. kp said:
and! he can have a nametage that says zeus and she can carry an egg named helen
i am sure i'm the only one who finds this funny, but. i don't care.
12. Kimba No Limba said:
ha- my dog scout looked just like that when she came back from her three hour "walk about" after i was frantically searching for her. they ARE terrible liars.
13. moose said:
Dooooce... did you actually catch Chuckiepoo with only one foot on the ground??
I absolutely recognize that guilty look. The tails I could tell....
14. Melanie S said:
Dooce,
At my son's b-day party the other night, I saw my mother had a new camera. Could it be? The Nikon D70. I pulled up your site and showed her all of your amazing pictures. Then I went through your FAQs and showed her how to give them that "dream", or "mashed potatos" look. She was thrilled. I can't wait to get one.
BTW - I hate you both for having better cameras than I do. Bastard mother fuckers! (I mean that in the nicest way!)
Anyone else notice that Fish said Screaming Sphincter! Greatness.
15. Gordon said:
If I read that someone wrote "bastard mother fucker" and claimed it was being said it the nicest of terms, I would have called said person (#67, Melaine S.) a god damn fucking liar. But since I read Catch-22 over the weekend, I found there is great humor in statements like "bastard mother fucker." So my hat is off to you #67.
16. Josh said:
I don't know, I think Eli looks guilty as hell, and Chuck looks like he's got a happy strut, like he just got laid.
17. Amber said:
Why must dogs give themselves away so easily?
18. Super Turtle Girl said:
Chuck looks hungry. I'm afraid he will turn into a maneater one day.
Not really Chuck. I loooooovvveee you!!! Chuck! Leave those Armstrongs and come live with us! We will give you all the treats you can handle.
19. AndreaBT said:
MY cats do look guilty, usually if they've been up on the kitchen counter eating something they're not supposed to. I'll hear a "thump" as they jump down, and as I run in to yell at them, their ears flatten and they slink/run away even before I can open my mouth. It's obvious they are guitly; if they were just hopping down from the washer, they would not have that look.
20. Kristina said:
By the way, the kid is cute too.
21. Christilee said:
There needs to be Dooce anonymous meetings.
Every time I have to stay two days away from my computer, I immediately rush though my pass word protected screens, typing the wrong passwords several times while breaking out in a cold sweat.
My teeth grind the whole time I reading everything I missed, reminding me that I need those horrible crooked wisdom teeth pulled, but that is so not as important as not missing a word Heather has to say.
My heart rate slows down about four hours later. Hello my name is Christi and I am a Dooceaholic…
22. Amanda said:
I'm pretty sure an arranged marriage is in order for Leta and Eli.
I hope she likes older men.
23. G.G. said:
Why does Chuck look like his feet aren't touching the ground?
24. Human Writes said:
Leta doesn't like the BYU Cougars? Isn't that grounds for dismisal from the state of Utah and a lifetime of eternal damnation via buffalo wing farts?
25. kari said:
today is my first time posting... i had to - my dog (jinx) has the same look, but we call it "flat ears" and you know she aint up to NO good when she has "flat ears"
;) love your website!
kari
26. Liz said:
Lovvvvve the tractor...
27. Carla Beth said:
What's the "thumbs down" button on the remote control? I haven't a clue. Volume?
28. eco2geek said:
When asked what he wanted for Christmas, my precocious 4 year old nephew said he wanted a "vehicle he could drive on the road."
(He dreams big.)
That tractor looks like the ticket. Where'd Beth get that?
29. Kerri said:
Eli has the cutest cheeks. They are so rosey! Looks like he was playing in mama's makeup! :P
30. Mari said:
Beautiful little boy!
31. milliegrace said:
Sometimes grad school has perks. Like this one.
http://www.ohiounion.com/bmw/Calendar.asp?Module=View&ID=683
That's right. FREE WINGS!
32. Paula said:
It almost resembles an episode of Cops, Boy stealing away on his stolen tractor while accomplice (Chuck) runs from the scene! Bad boy Bad boy, whatcha gonna do???
33. victoria said:
Oh, come on people, fess up: the dog is way cuter than the kid, any day.
34. Dez said:
They're both pretty darn cute, but my heart belongs to Chuck on this one. He's SuperMutt! How can you not love that- even if he's been slightly naughty.
35. Jazzy said:
Eli's got that, "Wha, who me, no, not me. He did it" look as he gets ready to point at Chuck.
36. pismire said:
Eli and Chuck are in cahoots with each other. They are both leaving the scene of the crime (and look at those GUILTY faces) . . . so I think they BOTH did it.
37. Fish said:
Dooce: Is that because it was BYU football, or football in general?
By the way, I'm not knockin' your parenting at all--in fact when my son is born he's going to have to learn to love his big brother (the widescreen projection Sony TV)--but you are gonna get S.L.A.M.M.E.D. by all the its-bad-parenting-to-let-your-kid-watch-too-much-TV types.
38. bethany said:
That Leta is one smart cookie. Many red thumbs way, way down.
39. Fish said:
Sorry, I should have said:
"Screaming Sphincter! Is that because it was BYU football, or football in general?"
40. Kristina said:
My dog does this thing where he poops in the dining room and RUNS UPSTAIRS REALLY FAST when my mom comes down in the morning. That's really all he does wrong, but it's so funny when he does it.
41. kEma said:
Happy B-day dear Eli! I hope the guilty look of Chuck doesn't say: Oops, I am so sorry for eating your cake, pal!
42. Cece said:
Chuck DOES look like he's modeling "Poochie"! He's the next Ashton "Poocher"!
HAHAHA! I crack myself up!
43. The Mighty Jimbo said:
i don't know. chuck kinda looked like a remora or something there. following the kids around just waiting for the inevitable stray goldfishes.
44. Tracy said:
Heh - the former Congressman is busted. Dogs are such bad liars. What gets me is when I come home and our Lab mix gives me the squinty guilty eyes, but I can't figure out what the hell she's done. Once she realizes she's home free, she gets crazy happy, like "Ha! I TOTALLY pulled a caper and got away with it."
Maybe it's the tractor, but Eli's got such a fresh-scrubbed Midwest look about him - there should be a field of corn in the background.
45. Lindsey said:
Hmmm I can't decide who's cuter: Chuck or Eli, Chuck or Eli...
46. the niffer said:
That is classic guilty dog posture. I'm dying to know what he did.
Funny - our cats never show guilt. In fact, when they've done something wrong they tend to strut. Pompous bastards.
47. King Poop said:
Oh look ... blond white mormon boy!
48. ella's ma said:
It looks like they BOTH did something bad, TOGETHER, and Chuck has that look like, "Hey, man, you're gonna have my back when they find out and start yelling, right?"
49. kris said:
My dog has that same look! I swear he'd whistle innocently while he strolled by if he could.
50. Rachel said:
Hmm, Chuck looks worried..like he is wanting to protect Eli. Guarding him from harm. Is Eli about to roll into the street? Guilty look? Naw.
51. Danielle said:
This song from my childhood popped into my head the other day:
Great big balls of greasy, grimy, gopher-guts
Mutilated monkeys' feet
Little sisters dirty feet
French-fried eyeballs rolling down the city street
And I forgot my spoon.
I forgot my spoon! I forgot my spoon! (sung with great glee)
----
Looking back on those lyrics, I'm a bit appalled, but I'm not sure it is any worse than the diarrhea song.
52. Danielle said:
is anyone else wondering when the picture is going to change??
hmmmm???
;)
53. ranae said:
mary had a little lamb
she fed it castor oil
and everywhere that mary went
it fertilized the soil
54. faith said:
I think Chuck is more concerned that Elli might break under interrogation.........
55. Herb said:
Oh, the humanity!
- on seeing the German zeppelin Hindenburg burst into flames over a New Jersey airfield, 06 May 1937, while experimenting with field recording techniques for WLS Radio, Chicago; note that hearing the quote in context makes it sound like he might have actually said, ``All the humanity and all the passengers...''
Herb Morrison (1906-1989)
56. Gia on Guam said:
"When you're running to first and something starts to burst diarrhea, diarrhea. When you're running to second and something starts to beckon,diarrhea, diarrhea...."
"Leprosy, crawling all over me...There goes my eyeball into my high ball...Leprosy crawling all over me...there goes my left ear, into my fresh beer..."
57. Gia on Guam said:
New verse for Dooce:
When you've eaten 20 chicken wings and your butt's starting to sting...Diarrhea, diarrhea...
(you many shoot me now)
58. Sheryl said:
That muffled scream.
From. Inside. Your. Pants.
The sphincter.
59. mrs. george #2 said:
I remember the diarrhea song... "diarrhea, diarrhea, it feels like an egg running down your leg. diarrhea, diarrhea, some people think it's gross but it's really good on toast"
60. Bruce said:
To the tune of "I'm not sick but I'm not well" by LIT:
Yesterday I ate some chicken
now today my stomach is churning
and my asshole is burning
*sorry*
61. Heathertoo said:
Unfortunatly, I know MOST of these little ditys. My 8 and 5 year old sing them all the time.
Do you remember:
Chinese resturant
Misery, Misery, from Alabama
Wrigley Sperament Gum (gum,gum)
And I remember it as:
Diarrhea, diarrhea
walking down the hall when its ready to fall.
62. Master of the Obvious said:
THE DIARIST AWARDS
Open Voting
http://www.diarist.net/awards/voting.html
63. Fish said:
I looked at the picture just now and totally remembered a song we used to sing as dumb kids (to the tune of that four-leaf clover song):
"I'm looking over, my dead dog Rover, that dad ran over with the power mower ..."
Am I the only one who knows this? Anyone? Anyone? No?
Man, yet another reason why I'm a huge dork.
64. the niffer said:
I vaguely remember that one. But the line about the power mower is new to me... I knew a different line.
I just asked my husband if he remembers the song and I got the "are you on glue?" look. He's now shuttling the cats and guinea pig to a safe-closet.
65. Sheryl said:
Niffer - But will your guinea pig be safe in a closet with cats?
I'm looking over my dead dog, Rover,
Who I hit with the power mower.
One leg is missing, the other is gone,
A third leg is scattered all over the lawn.
No need explaining the one remaining
Is spinning on the car port floor...
I'm looking over my dead dog, Rover,
Who I over-looked before!
66. anna jr said:
ok - so if you blur your eyes a just the tiniest bit - chuck looks like he is FLOATING ABOVE THE CURB like some kind of lurking dog guardian angel and he is looking at eli like - "DON'T DO ANYTHING RASH ON THAT TINY RIDING MOWER, KID, OR I'LL HAVE TO SPROUT WINGS AND DIVE IN YOUR PATH TO PROTECT YOU!"
(sorry for all the yelling, i just couldn't help it.)
happy birthday, eli!
67. Tracy said:
Fish/Sheryl:
Good God, what have you dredged out of the slough of my subconscious?
Actually, the version I remember went, "There's no use explaining, the parts remaining, they're all over my front door..."
Oh shit, now it's a whole medley:
"COMET makes your teeth turn green, COMET tastes like gasoline, COMET -"
"...had a bell, Miss Susie went to Heaven, the steamboat went to HELL-o operator, please get me number nine, and if you disconnect me..."
"...How wet I'll be, if I don't find the bathroom key - I found the key, now where's the door, OOPS! Too late..."
"Miss Susie sat upon it, it went right up her ASSSSSK me no more questions, I'll tell you no more lies..."
Oh, the humanity.
68. beachgal said:
Awesome tractor! Go get 'em Chuck!!!
My little one got a motorized four wheeler for his first bday...it's so cool...tho he likes to do stunts on it already...he'll stand on one side and press the button to make it go and then laugh as we try to catch him before he falls.
69. Alex said:
Ha! Chuck has a total runway strut going on.
70. eddo said:
I love chuckles. I have that picture from last years christmas where he is all wrapped in lights set as my desktop wallpaper. So cute!
Eli is a cutie as well- please wrap him in lights and take photos! Happy Late Birthday Eli!!
71. Regan said:
HAHAHAHA! Just got that look from Sadie this morning when I caught her licking last night's dinner plates on the coffee table.
Ummm...not that I'm admitting to be a lousy housekeeper, or anything...
72. nama said:
Sorry Dooce, I'm not a dog fan.
Thinking: Chuck probably sniffed/ate something stinky and was on his way there to deposit his (resulting) stinky dribble on someone's leg.
73. maxigumee said:
Chuck looks like he's going to eat Eli.
74. Michael said:
Yes, you are the very essence of bad motherhood. You shall spend eternity in a Starbucks line with bad hair, an empty wallet, and a screaming, sockless child and everyone will KNOW what you are. But if suddenly one day you come to your senses and learn to love Jesus, then of course none of this will happen. I think.
75. Ninotchka said:
Completely off topic, but you have to see this:
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&ncid=757&e=10&u=/nm/...
My favorite quote:
"The Lord doesn't need Doubleday's endorsement, but there are some for whom that imprint on the spine says ... this is a legitimate book of scripture," [The head of Mormon publisher Deseret Book, Sheri Dew] was quoted as saying.
So it would seem...
(I finally figured out this is where everyone posts...DUH!)
76. Angie said:
What a potential for destruction; a dog, a small boy and his tractor!
77. Kieran said:
Dogs are the best, they play with you, love you you can throw balls to them...cats suck..I have 2 cats Ironics isnt it?
78. jules said:
I think he wants a ride onthe green machine!
79. Michael said:
so many comments already! This is what I get for taking a breakfast break, I guess.
Im not seeing the guilty look, but maybe I lack imagination
80. Dee said:
Eli is adorable!
I can't get over the sock e-mail. Too cool!
Heather, I still NEED to know how you do the awesome Chuck cutouts so cleanly. I was playing around this weekend but still get nasty edges -and I do mean NASTY.
Please please please let me know - I am begging, lol
81. Melanie S said:
Our boxers, Eva & Guinness, do the same things with their ears when they've done something naughty.
Go Chuck go!
82. Chris said:
That is unmistakably the "I hope nobody saw me take that dump in their yard" look if I've ever seen it!
83. jenn said:
Oh that is one cute little boy!!! Chuck is really full of emotion in every photo you take.
Awsome shot. Happy belated ELI!
84. Em said:
Chuck looks all scrunchy. My cat does that when he is having a spaz attack.
Anyway, much happiness to Eli and his family!
85. MetroDad said:
Man, they start 'em up on the tractors young out there in the West, don't they? Reminds me of my childhood growing up in Manhattan. I think my first toy was a miniature taxicab.
Happy Belated Eli!
86. Liz said:
I honestly cannot decide which I love more - the pictures of Leta or the pictures of Chuck!
87. shana said:
I love the tractor!
Happy Birthday!
88. XandersMom said:
Just missed being first...but this is my first time to comment, so better luck next time.
89. taryn said:
sideways ears - a dead giveaway. you can't hide anything, Chuck!
90. Becca said:
Aww how cute!
91. Sondra said:
My dog wears guilty the same way. Then she timidly approaches me and starts giving me doggy kisses, as if she is making up for whatever bad thing she did that I don't yet know about.
Cute picture!!
92. Chris From Ohio said:
Something about the curb or the way Chuck is staring over at Eli... It reminds me of when I used to drag race.
93. Mir said:
Happy birthday, Eli!
Oh, Chuck. What have you been eating, Chuck? Naughty doggie.
94. Kellyashley said:
Chuck also somewhat looks like he might attack Eli's tractor. As in, "I'm gonna git that moving thing with the big toy riding on it!" Perhaps it's pre-emptive guilt.
95. Moxie said:
They both look like they are fleeing the scene of a yet-to-be-discovered crime.
" It was Chuck's idea to sprinkle glitter in their yard!"
96. Lisa said:
Don't Bush's ears point out to the sides like that a little? Perhaps this is a sure sign of a cover up shared by politicians, former and current. ;o) Wait, no, Chuck is a fabulous dog and wouldn't do that. I love you, Chuck!
--Lisa
97. Beth said:
Thanks to Leta, Eli and Kyle - I get my ovaries hammered daily. It's great :)
98. Human Writes said:
Cujo, no! Do NOT eat the boy, Cujo!
99. shana said:
Sooo cute!
100. Sara said:
That Eli looks a bit suspicious as well...but most birthday boys are!