Do you know what I did? I typed this out on Word and "refreshed" like mad, then pasted it in, just so I’d have a chance at being first. I was #3 once upon a time. In any event, this is the holiest scene I've ever seen.
What is wrong with the poor cow? And is that a horse? This is really freaky. Where can I buy it?
11.30.04 - 06:22 AM
21. Amber said:
Is it just me or is that mouse like the size of that cow's head? And the only thing that scares me more than that horse actually sticking his arse into the air that much is the person who decided to manipulate his body into that position in the first place.
11.30.04 - 06:22 AM
22. Laura C. said:
Is THIS the sort of thing Mormons go for? No wonder Dooce is an ex-Mormon.
This one is even scarier than the last one. Imagine if we took all the money spent on kitschy decorations each year and spent it on finding a cure for cancer. Just imagine.
11.30.04 - 06:23 AM
24. Dre said:
Out of curiousity, may I ask, why do you have this?
Was it a gift?
A late night drunken 7-11 purchase?
11.30.04 - 06:24 AM
25. ap said:
That mouse is far more interested in the chicken's ass than Baby Jesus.
11.30.04 - 06:24 AM
26. Danielle said:
It reminds me of a "claymation christmas."
But you know, with all of the animals eyes kind of bugged-out and their necks stuck out, it looks like they are saying "yalp, that's one Ugly baby."
11.30.04 - 06:25 AM
27. Danielle said:
I suppose that they are supposed to be kneeling... but ugh. how terrible.
OK, so then, there are three horses, shall I assume they are the wise men? The chicken and rooster have wings, are they angels? Does that make the cow Mary and the sheep Joseph? And what is the mouse? The little drummer boy?
"Hey animal dudes--we're just gonna take a break from all the screee-heee-heeeeming and pop on over to the seven eleven for some smokes. Watch the kid, okay?"
I think it's kind of cute...but I'd never buy that because it actually kind of freaks me out at the same time. The animals..they are just too weird shaped.
So, Patricia, what exactly ARE you going to do with that bag of vomit you'll soon be receiving?
Shame on you...SHAME!
11.30.04 - 06:46 AM
41. beachgal said:
Very interesting. I think this is much better than the pig, but it's still kind of eerie. That word does not look right spelled out. Maybe it's wrong...I don't know.
11.30.04 - 06:48 AM
42. Kristen said:
I'm going to have to say that I like it - maybe I'd change my mind if I saw it in person, but I like the idea of all the animals being there (and the Sandra Boyton-ish animals are my kind of animals!) without Mary and Joesph.
11.30.04 - 06:49 AM
43. Laura said:
Does it look to anyone else like Baby Jesus is swaddled in...a lettuce leaf?
Laura, I'll bet it's cabbage. Mary must've been engorged.
11.30.04 - 06:52 AM
48. Karen said:
Could someone please tell what is the prize for being 'first' to post when a new photo appears? Are we registered for a new car or something? I don't get it...
Karen, the prize is being exalted and admired by all you second-string commenters who have never known the pure bliss that comes when being first...a fucking rush of adrenaline like you've never experienced...an elation seconded only by the orgasm...a, a, a, ...
..no, maybe not. No prize. Just a playground mentality of 'nah-nah na boo boo, I'm first and you suck'.
Try it, it *is* really fun.
11.30.04 - 06:59 AM
55. Kellie said:
Why does it look to me like the animals are all waiting to eat Baby Jesus?
11.30.04 - 06:59 AM
56. Jenie said:
Where the hell do people get this stuff?? And better yet why?? Creepy....
11.30.04 - 07:01 AM
57. MrsDoF said:
For Sarah (#14) the only time I could find a mention about "rooster in the desert" is of a cock (the male domesticated fowl) in connection with Peter's denial of Christ, when the cock crowed three times in the morning.
This particular bird in the picture looks in awe of the Baby.
Somehow, this is a charming scene--my mother would love it, but I am afraid it would get lost amongst all the other dust-collectors of her house. And I already have her Christmas gift on order.
definitely the most constipated group of animals ever assembled before Jesus!
11.30.04 - 07:15 AM
63. Ryan said:
I almost bought a similar nativity at the dollar store, but somehow, even though I am not religious, it felt wrong. You should not buy a dollar baby Jesus. Or one made of chocolate.
As a stopmotion animator I think the models look kind of cute but dude I would not give it house space(!). I could see it in my mother's garden though - she has a great sense of humour.
Maybe this is my southern upbringing, but I think that is cute in a "so bad it goes past bad round to good again" kind of way. You should SEE some of the stuff old southern women wear around the holidays. Now THAT is scary stuff.
Although the cow's eyes bugging out of its head kind of freak me out still.
So have you seen the animated short before "The Incredibles"? I think it's called "Boundin'" These are SO the characters from that. They all look like they're ready to, well, bound.
You KNOW it's her mother's.
Just look at all those barn animals awaiting application of Avon products --
wide eyes and lips puckered in preparation. It's an advertisement.
i once stayed at someone's house that collected creches. she had creches from all over the world, some carved out of stone, some made with reeds, but the one that took the cake was the one made of dead laquered cockroaches. shudder.
honestly, i think that ceramic animal nativity might even be scarier than the dead shiny cockroach baby Jesus.
I don't remember a mouse being part of the story, nor a scoliotic cow.
Ok, maybe I am missing something here, but isn't this nativity scene, technically speaking, WORSHIPPING FALSE GODS??
(You know, kind of like Plato's philosphy of forms - how they're only perfect in the mental concept, but when you try to represent them they are no longer what they were...)
That is not the baby Jesus!
11.30.04 - 07:53 AM
92. becaru said:
Love the ceramic Baby J.
BTW, do you get paid every time you mention TiVo?
It reminds me that it's time to get out my one Christmas decoration -- Nativity in a Nut. It's the entire nativity scene inside a half of a walnut. My husband picked it up for me when he was in Austin, TX. It's quite festive.
This is a free-association inspired by the Oklahoma 'knick-knack' comment. My Mom is profoundly Mid-western and uses the word whatnot quite often, as in "There were plenty of Nativity Scenes and whatnot at the flea market." My Lovely Wife and I have made it a practice to mentally substitute the word 'shit' for 'whatnot' when listening to my Mom. It makes conversations with Mom much more entertaining.
11.30.04 - 07:56 AM
95. Stacy said:
Liz- What the hell are creches? And yes, I did attempt to look it up on dictionary.com.
11.30.04 - 07:58 AM
96. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
You should SEE the SIZE of the whatnot that came outta my ass this morning. An whatnot.
11.30.04 - 07:58 AM
97. Tip for Finding Shit said:
I mean whatnot.
Go to www.google.com
In the search box, type *define:* and then whatever word you want to know about. Hit enter.
Creches are replicas of the nativity scene, basically. Not to be confused with the Putz, which is also apparently a large creche. There's one in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania - only one I've heard of (I grew up there). Putz, man. They should have renamed it.
11.30.04 - 08:02 AM
100. lac said:
My boyfriends mother has around 100 nativity scenes. She informed me that if I married her son, I would inherit them one day.
Help!
11.30.04 - 08:04 AM
101. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
j - I knows what a creche is and whatnot.
'ccordin to Google:
a hospital where foundlings (infant children of unknown parents) are taken in and cared for
a representation of Christ's nativity in the stable at Bethlehem
11.30.04 - 08:05 AM
102. Tip for not being a whatnothead said:
Here in the south we just call them nativity scenes, ain't no need gettin all fancy.
11.30.04 - 08:07 AM
103. stella said:
already 100+ comments over a ceramic creche. just imagine if it was a ceramic george bush?!
Hmmm...maybe this is why Dooce hates getting advice so much:
I used "Tip for Finding Shit"'s advice and googled "define: whatnot." I ended up with an offer for a Chinese Whatnot Shelf or "Great Deals on Whatnot!" from ebay.
Now, using Hank's advice to substitute "shit" for "whatnot"...well, let's just say I'm glad I wasn't drinking hot coffee. Scorched nasal passages and whatnot...
11.30.04 - 08:10 AM
106. Girl.A said:
I thought creche was a crazy ass megalomaniac pedophile dude livin in a compound
11.30.04 - 08:12 AM
107. John said:
Hi, my name is John and I am also a collector of Chinese Turds. I mean, whatnot.
11.30.04 - 08:14 AM
108. Tracy said:
There's one Bethlehem farmer that needs to ease back on the steroids in the feed. Judging from the distended bellies, I think the animals ate Joseph and Mary.
11.30.04 - 08:25 AM
109. Danika said:
I think Tracy is right. The animals ate Mary and Joseph and are just deciding who gets what part of baby Jesus.
My inlaws filled daughter's head with so much of the "reason for the season" talk over the Thanksgiving weekend that on a recent trip to the mall where we spied a Santa my daughter was screaming, "I don't wanna talk to Santa I wanna talk to baby Jesus!"
11.30.04 - 09:22 AM
129. Caroline said:
See? George IS an awesome guy. Takes one to know one, I guess. See Kano, mrs anti-George #1, and noGeorge? You suck. So you all can go suck together; it'll be a nice, intimate suckfest. And not the good kind. Fuckers.
Did anyone else have the sneaking suspicion yesterday that the whole grouchy faction of K, Mrs AG1, and nG were all the same person? I just couldn't imagine three such misguided dopes all commenting at the same time.
Or am I just extry suspicious?
11.30.04 - 09:29 AM
131. SaraJane said:
I like it. I think its nice and fun. Almost as nice as the light up nativity set I want from Home Depot but its expensive.
11.30.04 - 09:29 AM
132. Caroline said:
OMG I just read the comment about the Jepordy! guy! How could he lose? I'm totally taping this. Damned non-TiVoed TV.
11.30.04 - 09:32 AM
133. Leon said:
I honestly owndered how long it would be before there was a "Wallace and Gromit" Christmas special.
And as for George, the real proof is in how he handles a screaming and unruly Leta. Until we see how he deals with that trial, I do not think we can truly pass judgement.
Dooce, per your post: Is George for sale? I could use some help lifting giant bags of kitty litter. And I don't have a baby, but I do have a lonely cat named Baby who could use a playmate during the day. Just thought I'd ask.
11.30.04 - 09:49 AM
136. popsicle said:
sheesh...that poor cow has some serious scoliosis...no wonder she is sitting down ! and the mouse: holy steriods ! jesus ought to feel such love to have a clan like that looking after him.
11.30.04 - 09:58 AM
137. stella said:
GEORGE! where is he going to school next? what does his family think of him leaving byu?
Hee! 'I will hug him and squeeze him and name him George." I had COMPLETELY forgotten that. Which cartoon character was that? Was it a bear? I can still hear the voice in my mind (The voices! The voices!)
Another disturbing tcotchky (where did the word "tcotchky" come from, anyway???). All the animals look like they are into ass-play (Oh god, why can't I think of a better term than ass-play?). Except that poor cow.
The thumbnail _was a rooster! I played guess the picture today, and I thought, "...hmmm. I think its a rooster. But it'll end up being a shoe or a dog or a mitten or a turd or something ridiculous." Lo and behold! It *was* a rooster! You did that on purpose, didn't you dooce? You so cleva.
Does anyone else see a rhino in that horse/ sheep combo in the upper right hand corner? It took me, like, a minute to figure out what they really were. I'm like, "A rhino?! Oh, that's realistic." Then, "OH! Duh."
End rambling... now.
11.30.04 - 10:01 AM
139. BabyM said:
First time poster, long time reader. Hello all!!
Heather, I think it is about time GEORGE! gets his own category, so we can find postings on him easily.
ouch! my ears hurt from all the screaming.
hi George.
11.30.04 - 10:07 AM
141. Laura said:
Chloe: Isnt it Bugs bunny or maybe elmer fud? Anyway its one of those that does that. And I soooo want a George of my own (George are you availble?)
I agree that George also needs a blog of his own. And pictures. Lots more George pictures. Not that I dont love the Dooce. Because its the first website I log on to when I get to work.
I think it's interesting that George accepts the website and you seem to have the best familial relationship with him. Funny how acceptance works, eh?
As for the "nativity." Did someone make this? Was it someone who needed to make a diarama for the book Animal Farm? Did the baby Jesus just happen to topple into the wrong barn?
I love it! It's crazy! However, if I like it, then no real God-fearing anyone should have it in their house.
P.S. I rather liked the pig.
11.30.04 - 10:40 AM
150. Sue said:
GEORGE! If only you were older and lived in Ohio. GEORGE!
11.30.04 - 10:40 AM
151. Josh said:
I can't figure out what is more disturbing. That somebody created this "abomination" and thought that it was just so good that they had to mass produce them and sell them to the masses. OR the fact that the masses agree and buy said "abomination."
It's really disturbing, and I hope to all that is good that at least one of these will be thrown off of a tall building to it's unapologetic demise.
Laura and Chloe...it was a Bugs Bunny cartoon that was doing a parody of John Steinbeck's "Of Mice and Men".
That cow definately needs colonic.And that Jeshua kid....well they all are bug eyed as he looks as though he is passing THE BIG BAD MOTHERFUCKIN' POOP.
oh dear. is it wrong that i kind of like it? i mean, i DON'T really. but i kind of do. i like the baby Jesus. he looks cute. you can't deny that baby Jesus is cute, can you? who would deny that? some mean evil person, that's who.
11.30.04 - 11:04 AM
158. Susie said:
A big guy on the floor with a little baby always screams "Awesome!!!!"
The animals in the photo, on the other hand, look "awestruck," which is an entirely appropriate way for them to look in this context. I must say, this does not frighten me like the pig did.
Nice detective work, lulu. I think everyone's entitled to their own opinion, natch; but what I don't get is why K, MrsAG1 and nG bother visiting this site.
I mean, it's not like stories about GEORGE! are out of character with the rest of Dooce's thoughts/postings.
This is a pretty positive place to be on a regular basis, so if the stuff you read is just too fluffy and whatnot, why bother coming back over and over again?
Wow...a funny nativity. I've never seen that. Looks like Red Grooms did it.
11.30.04 - 11:37 AM
169. Darcie said:
Because I am married to The Sinister Minister, I have first-hand knowledge of what Jesus himself thinks on just about every subject (including the rigging of the last election--but I won't go there), and I'll have you know, Jesus would not want that cow to strike that pose, even for Him! That is freakishly un-natural.
The horses in KY rarely do the type of calesthenics those nativity scene horses do, I think. If they do, we even have massage centers for them. Usually we sanctify, um, esteem the horse here in the Bluegrass. How's that for shifting the center. Unfortunately, though, our state is the wrong color politically, but Lexington is a lovely oasis of attempted liberalism, sometimes. George! We need you!
11.30.04 - 11:45 AM
171. VenusManTrap said:
Is that a groundhog on the lower right? I do not remember the story talking about the three wisemen following a hedgehog from the east.
Is that a groundhog on the lower left? I do not remember the story talking about the three wisemen following a hedgehog from the east.
11.30.04 - 11:46 AM
174. Lisa said:
I think the animal on the lower left is a sheep that got squished by the box on which the horses are standing. Trapped worshipping a clay baby Jesus. The lower right animal looks like a chicken aghast at the divine whatnot.
11.30.04 - 11:50 AM
175. Amanda said:
I just want to know which one is Mary and which one is Joseph.
How do you get that lighting? Is there a special "dooce thing" for that? Always a holy glow...
11.30.04 - 12:05 PM
180. Carol said:
"They melted. Someone got too close with the crack pipe."
LOL!! LMAO!! and other letters and whatnot whose meanings escape me.
Poor George. I mean really...you're just trying to DIGEST and suddenly you're in the midst of a major controversy. I love you, George and your HD shirt.
OK - someone may have already answered this, but the "Hug him and squeeze him and call him George" bit is from Bugs Bunny. It was a vulture character who said it. Wow. I've revealed too much of my TV Land upbringing.
2. Whatever goes upon four legs, or has wings, is a friend.
3. No animal shall wear clothes.
4. No animal shall sleep in a bed.
5. No animal shall drink alcohol unless forced to worship at the clay creche.
it looks like the animals ATE mary and joseph, and now they all have the EVIL eye and are wondering who's going to get baby jesus first. i think the cow ate someone, because look at it's neck, it looks like he's about to hack something back up.
the horse on the right, looks like he's about ready to take a dump. i took a pottery class, well several, and people don't make stuff like this, they make ashtrays and teapots.
i think it's kind of cute - especially the chicken - the cow looks a bit contorted though don't you think?
11.30.04 - 12:53 PM
193. Homer said:
That is the dumbest thing you've ever displayed on your site. Creepy and ridiculous. Go back to the endless Leta pics or AWESOME GEORGE!!! pics rather than this inane garbage. Thanks!!
i wonder how the artist felt, roasting jesus in a kiln. seems really like an express ticket to hell.
well, that and having such bad taste.
11.30.04 - 12:57 PM
198. s said:
I'VE JUST BEEN DOOCED! Yes, that right, I was just laid off and immediately came here. How sad am I?
11.30.04 - 01:03 PM
199. jodi-no-blog said:
George ROCKS!
I gotcher back Mrs George #2...
11.30.04 - 01:04 PM
200. Melanie S said:
I'll trade you a doggie friend (for Chuck), for GEORGE!
11.30.04 - 01:06 PM
201. Carol said:
S-
That sucks big time. I feel for you. My husband got laid off two weeks before our 2nd was due!
Go get a drink!! Well, that doesn't solve anything, but it sure does make you feel better. Unless you're in AA or something.. in that case go get a Coke with lots of fizz!
GEORGE! is clearly a Superior Human Being. what concerns me most is that he likely doesn't know it. being a Superior Human Being usually requires not knowing it. i just hope GEORGE! loves GEORGE! as much as we all do.
11.30.04 - 01:14 PM
203. Tracy said:
S - poor fortune. =( Any company who lays someone off right before the holidays is clearly helmed by heartless asshats who don't deserve your help anyway. Best of luck to you.
11.30.04 - 01:15 PM
204. eco2geek said:
The reason the animals are all bug-eyed is that Baby Jesus is softly singing to himself: "And You...You liiiiight. Up. Myyyyyy. Liiiiife."
11.30.04 - 01:16 PM
205. Allison said:
All I want for chrismas is a GEORGE! and a house fit for a queen OF FRANCE!
Why doesn't George have his very own web page?
I don't just want him to have his own catagory, I want a whole web page.
I want, I want, I want...damn, i'm in the Christmas mood already.
Forgive me Sweet Baby Jesus!
11.30.04 - 01:20 PM
207. s said:
Oh yes Carol, already hit the vodka gimlets and menthol cigarettes. JESUS! Oh wait, that's what today's picture is of! Look how neatly I just segued that all together. THEY DON'T DESERVE ME. BAH HUMBUG
11.30.04 - 01:22 PM
208. Laura C. said:
I like how George can mention tainting his mouth with a tinge of vomit, and the ladies STILL desire to smooch him.
Ah, the lovely George. We heart you George. If I knew any decent single gals I'd send em your way. Most of the girls around here are married or nappyho's.
Niffer- right on. If you don't like what you see here feel free to move along. Despite what many of us think, Dooce does not exist to keep us entertained. She and her family are actual people with real feelings.
I really want to know where that nativity came from!!!
11.30.04 - 01:39 PM
212. Camille said:
"Baby Jesus will cut you when he gets back!" Oh. My. God. I'm glad it's almost time to go home because I don't think I can work anymore today. Thanks, Mrs. George #2 for a rare out loud laugh at work!
only it's "get the fuck out" instead of "feel free to move along".
Curses!
11.30.04 - 01:54 PM
217. TexChic said:
I've never seen a cow or sheep sit like that before, although I have a horse that will take a bow . . . but this has a mouse as big as a baby, and a chicken that's bigger than both of them! Wow!
11.30.04 - 01:58 PM
218. s said:
exactly, amanda. "GET THE FUCK OUT". "FEEL FREE TO MOVE ALONG" would've been "Gee, look for another job, you have 2 weeks" Small thanks they gave 6 months severance and benefits...
"Of Mice and Men" isn't generally read when you are seven years old, and it doesn't have that memorable voice! Although I'll admit I've never read it. What? I'm not much for the classics. If you are forced to read it in school, it probably means that it's not something you'd want to read on your own time. See: Charles Dickens (IMO, please don't flame me). I am still a voracious reader, just not so much of the classics. And not just blogs, either.
I think maybe the buzzard was from Tiny Toon Adventures, and possibly a take-off from the "classic" abdominal snowman/bugs bunny cartoon. Scary when cartoons become postmodern, n'est pas? I can imagine both the snowman and the buzzard saying that line, so maybe both? Or maybe brain rot. You know, either way.
Oh, and before I forget again:
George!
11.30.04 - 02:06 PM
223. KellyH said:
My MIL just gave my 2 year old daughter the Fisher-Price Little People Nativity set, "so she can learn about Baby Jesus." This coming from a woman who doesn't attend church herself. Whatever. My daughter likes playing with it.
Tell George! if he decides to head to South Carolina I've got an adorable 2 year old who would love to sit in his lap on the floor.
That reminds me of something i read about a toddler getting the Little People Noah's Ark and the family ended up calling it the "gay pride boat" because it comes with a little rainbow flag on top. Well, we got one too and now call it the same thing.
Don't you love subverting the in-laws intentions? *evil laugh*
Okay, Chloe. I'm a spelling and reading dorkapotamus, so I've got to jump on you just a little bit.
It's the *abominable* snowman, not the *abdominal* "abs of steel" snowman.
And: Dickens is great! And not "great" as in *important* yet *boring*. Actually great! And Thackeray is great too! And Austen! And Steinbeck! They're entertaining as hell, especially for someone who's already a voracious reader.
Okay. I'll put away the soapbox and climb off the high horse now.
11.30.04 - 02:39 PM
229. Nick said:
Nice pic.
P.S. Starting a new trend - I am going for the last post here.
Relax child, you were there
But only didn't realize it and you were scared
It's a place where you will learn
To face your fears, retrace the years
And ride the farm animals in your mind
Ceramics from another world
Suddenly you hear and smell
This magic new distension
George will be watching over you
George is gonna help you see it through
George will protect you in the night
George is puking next to you...
in the Violent Nativity
Another favorite subversive? The holiday that the IL's gave Mimi Smartypants' daughter a Noah's Ark and she explained to her daughter that it was a "Darwin Boat". As in "Look, honey! A Darwin boat! Let's play with it."
Motherhood, George, the f-word, house renovation, antidepressants...yes, it's all good.
11.30.04 - 02:48 PM
234. whitney said:
how come, when the comments get into the hundreds people just start writing poems and sonets, and for the love of jesus just write a comment!!
Thanks, jm, now we know where easter eggs come from!
11.30.04 - 03:11 PM
241. Lisa said:
Abdominal Snowman
I swear I have gotten the best abs workout today just by lol at some of the posts. The first was the crack pipe one, then many others. Then I started calling in my colleagues to look at the photo and we were all laughing out loud. It's a big academic aerobic fest in here today. Thanks, Dooce!
PS: Not only did I get a workout and home renovation tips, but I got to share the Lenny-Abominable Snowman link with a student who's writing on Steinbeck. Total 'synchronicity'--you said it!
My unspayed female pony started rolling around on the floor, arching her back and meowing and purring loudly. Although she does not appear to be sick, she sure sounds like she is in agony.
Now all my horses are doing it too, and my chicken. wtf?
Dear Vet,
My cow has begun to sit in the Lotus position and meditate for hours and days. Perhaps it is because she is aware the king of kings has just been born and the brat is a beef-eater?
Heather, don't they know that YOU ARE OUR PROPHET AND YOU SPEAK OUR FUCKING LANGUAGE? Isn't there a verse about Paul being "all things to all men"? You're doing that for US.
11.30.04 - 03:35 PM
245. Carol said:
Abdominal snowman!!! Hilarious!
"POP" that's my bottle of wine. But not here, dear Dooce readers. I'll spare you that tonight.
It's girls night!! AAAHHHHHHHRRRRRGGGG!
So have fun. I'll miss you guys.
But before I go... Amanda B. and Aaron... What are y'all talking about?
The cow has a hunchback, and that horse looks like it's getting ready to reconvene the procedure.
11.30.04 - 04:06 PM
252. Toni said:
chocolate peppermint christmas cookies
11.30.04 - 04:07 PM
253. Sheryl said:
incomprehensible, that's what you are ...incomprehensible, though near or far
Like a song of love that clings to me... How the thought of you does things to me
Never before has someone been more... incomprehensible, in every way
And for evermore, that's how you'll stay...That's why darling, it's incredible
That someone so incomprehensible...Thinks that I am incomprehensible too
1. Shawn said:
Yikes. Who buys that stuff?
2. Laura C. said:
Do you know what I did? I typed this out on Word and "refreshed" like mad, then pasted it in, just so I’d have a chance at being first. I was #3 once upon a time. In any event, this is the holiest scene I've ever seen.
3. Heather 2 said:
Maybe I'll get that for my step-mom. Would a minister be offended by that? ;-)
4. AA said:
Ok, between this and the pig...I'm scarred....
5. Laura C. said:
Hey, it's a Dooce creche--the animals all appear to be somewhat constipated.
6. lauren said:
ugly squared.
7. Cristina said:
This is unrelated to your picture, but I came across this website
www.puppybreak.com and I think you should submit pictures of Chuck!
8. Sarah said:
Now the thumbnail really IS a rooster!
9. kim said:
now, that is a holy scene. just, what the .. are those holy horses on the left doing?
10. LadyBug said:
The bug-eyed looks those animals are giving Baby Jesus? Well, that's just creeeepy....
11. Angie said:
Now I know who buys all the stuff on ebay!!!!
12. GMM said:
LOOK AT THAT COW!!!
13. juuuuuuu said:
The cow looks a little unconfortable and I'm not sure I want to know what the horse on the left is doing!
14. Sarah said:
And who knew there were roosters in the desert?
15. AA said:
Though maybe baby Jesus there can help that cow there with her severe osteoporosis...
16. Carol said:
Ha! Laura C. - I thought the same thing... that horse looks like he's in pain.
I love this!! It's classic!
17. MelissaS said:
I think the baby Jesus is weeping.
18. Marie said:
Dooce,
Do you actually own these "ceramic abominations", or do you just find random freaks in Utah and ask to take pictures of their ugly shit?
19. Amanda said:
I think it's cute...
20. pismire said:
What is wrong with the poor cow? And is that a horse? This is really freaky. Where can I buy it?
21. Amber said:
Is it just me or is that mouse like the size of that cow's head? And the only thing that scares me more than that horse actually sticking his arse into the air that much is the person who decided to manipulate his body into that position in the first place.
22. Laura C. said:
Is THIS the sort of thing Mormons go for? No wonder Dooce is an ex-Mormon.
23. shmee said:
This one is even scarier than the last one. Imagine if we took all the money spent on kitschy decorations each year and spent it on finding a cure for cancer. Just imagine.
24. Dre said:
Out of curiousity, may I ask, why do you have this?
Was it a gift?
A late night drunken 7-11 purchase?
25. ap said:
That mouse is far more interested in the chicken's ass than Baby Jesus.
26. Danielle said:
It reminds me of a "claymation christmas."
But you know, with all of the animals eyes kind of bugged-out and their necks stuck out, it looks like they are saying "yalp, that's one Ugly baby."
27. Danielle said:
I suppose that they are supposed to be kneeling... but ugh. how terrible.
btw AA (#15): cow with osteoporosis! HA!
28. christy said:
All the animals look like they are on acid and the baby jesus is, like, totally freaking them out, man.
PS - Did everyone here that Ken Jennings finally lost on Jeopardy? It broke on kottke.org.
29. Laurie G. said:
OK, so then, there are three horses, shall I assume they are the wise men? The chicken and rooster have wings, are they angels? Does that make the cow Mary and the sheep Joseph? And what is the mouse? The little drummer boy?
30. lulu cornichon said:
What I wonder is, where are Mary and Joseph?
"Hey animal dudes--we're just gonna take a break from all the screee-heee-heeeeming and pop on over to the seven eleven for some smokes. Watch the kid, okay?"
31. Aly said:
Baby Jesus could easily be confused with the piggies that your mother is so fond of.
32. Amber said:
I think it's kind of cute...but I'd never buy that because it actually kind of freaks me out at the same time. The animals..they are just too weird shaped.
33. Chris From Ohio said:
Where's the Christmas Lobster?
34. Carol said:
My 3-year-old is a farm animal expert thanks to Fisher-Price and this photo really threw him for a loop. He was speechless. For once.
35. Colleen from NJ said:
That looks like some weird scene from the animated version of Orwell's "Animal Farm."
36. Rosalie said:
uhhh...wow?
37. patricia said:
Vitamin C. Makes your pee too acidic for bacteria.
Sorry, I had to say it.
38. Karen Rani said:
Sarah - that's what I was thinking! The thumbnail really is a rooster....what a fugly scene though....playdoh gone wrong!
39. p-hawk said:
I've seen ceramic nativities where everyone, including Mary, Joseph, Wise Guys, and all the animals, were black bears. *shudders*
40. LadyBug said:
So, Patricia, what exactly ARE you going to do with that bag of vomit you'll soon be receiving?
Shame on you...SHAME!
41. beachgal said:
Very interesting. I think this is much better than the pig, but it's still kind of eerie. That word does not look right spelled out. Maybe it's wrong...I don't know.
42. Kristen said:
I'm going to have to say that I like it - maybe I'd change my mind if I saw it in person, but I like the idea of all the animals being there (and the Sandra Boyton-ish animals are my kind of animals!) without Mary and Joesph.
43. Laura said:
Does it look to anyone else like Baby Jesus is swaddled in...a lettuce leaf?
44. red said:
i'm assuming this is another one of your mothers ceramic knick-knacks.
i'm from oklahoma. i can't help that i just referred to them as "knick-knacks."
45. Kano said:
I knew this was going to happen. I like that Nativity set. Where did it come from?
46. beachgal said:
It DOES look like a lettuce leaf...that's funny.
47. LadyBug said:
Laura, I'll bet it's cabbage. Mary must've been engorged.
48. Karen said:
Could someone please tell what is the prize for being 'first' to post when a new photo appears? Are we registered for a new car or something? I don't get it...
49. Karen Rani said:
No Laura - not a lettuce leaf, a seaweed wrap....he is going for that sushi roll look!
50. Sarcastic Journalist said:
away in a manger...only a chicken and a bed...
51. Karen Rani said:
And how funny is it that the mouse is not only staring up the roosters ass, but is nearly the size of the rooster?
52. Stephanie said:
That cow has serious issues!
53. JP said:
Is someone taking a ceramics class?? Just curious.
54. Sarah said:
Karen, the prize is being exalted and admired by all you second-string commenters who have never known the pure bliss that comes when being first...a fucking rush of adrenaline like you've never experienced...an elation seconded only by the orgasm...a, a, a, ...
..no, maybe not. No prize. Just a playground mentality of 'nah-nah na boo boo, I'm first and you suck'.
Try it, it *is* really fun.
55. Kellie said:
Why does it look to me like the animals are all waiting to eat Baby Jesus?
56. Jenie said:
Where the hell do people get this stuff?? And better yet why?? Creepy....
57. MrsDoF said:
For Sarah (#14) the only time I could find a mention about "rooster in the desert" is of a cock (the male domesticated fowl) in connection with Peter's denial of Christ, when the cock crowed three times in the morning.
This particular bird in the picture looks in awe of the Baby.
Somehow, this is a charming scene--my mother would love it, but I am afraid it would get lost amongst all the other dust-collectors of her house. And I already have her Christmas gift on order.
58. Jennifer said:
that cow's back is all messed up... man I din't know the animals celebrated the little guy, what else do they do that has been captured in clay!
59. Bill said:
I can accept the chicken and the mouse, but what's with the scoliotic cow? Were they hoping the baby would be doing some healing?
60. Sarah said:
Thanks, MrsDoF...I've never been taken quite so literally before! ;-)
Bill...Scoliotic cow....LOL! The cow is in serious pain, it is obvious.
61. John said:
that's awesome--i'd buy that in a heartbeat
62. taryn said:
definitely the most constipated group of animals ever assembled before Jesus!
63. Ryan said:
I almost bought a similar nativity at the dollar store, but somehow, even though I am not religious, it felt wrong. You should not buy a dollar baby Jesus. Or one made of chocolate.
64. Regan said:
oh dear god...why are all their butts so huge! and sticking up in the air?
the horror...the absolute horror...
65. CA said:
All the animals look like they have hairballs that are about to come up. Hide under that cabbage leaf kid, it's about to get gross.
66. Anita said:
Kitchy, but not as bad as the pig.
BTW, reconvening the procedure could have something to do with it, too.
(At least I waited a day before saying anything) ;-)
67. debbie said:
yikes, if i were baby jesus i'd be freaking the fuck out with all those creepy things looking at me!
68. Jenny said:
I feel scared. And a little confused. Will you PLEASE look at the cow!?!? What is going on....?
69. gingermog said:
As a stopmotion animator I think the models look kind of cute but dude I would not give it house space(!). I could see it in my mother's garden though - she has a great sense of humour.
70. Jon in Michigan said:
Agree with Jenny. Look at the cow!
71. Laurie said:
Maybe this is my southern upbringing, but I think that is cute in a "so bad it goes past bad round to good again" kind of way. You should SEE some of the stuff old southern women wear around the holidays. Now THAT is scary stuff.
Although the cow's eyes bugging out of its head kind of freak me out still.
72. Paige said:
Whoa, baby Jesus has a bun in the oven.
73. Laura said:
So have you seen the animated short before "The Incredibles"? I think it's called "Boundin'" These are SO the characters from that. They all look like they're ready to, well, bound.
74. Alex said:
Don't eat him!
75. Badger said:
Well golly. No wonder it's taking Him so long to come back, if that's what He thinks is waiting for Him.
Run away, Jesus! Save yourself!
76. Meagan said:
This is perhaps the best Nativity scene of all time, though it would be outlawed in Provo...
http://daily.webshots.com/content/ap/current/h61026355.html
77. Allyson said:
You KNOW it's her mother's.
Just look at all those barn animals awaiting application of Avon products --
wide eyes and lips puckered in preparation. It's an advertisement.
78. lulu cornichon said:
Now seems an appropriately Jesusy moment to mention my two favorite bumper stickers:
*JESUS LOVES YOU*
but I'm his favorite
and:
*I FOUND JESUS!*
he was under the couch this whole time
79. Kieran said:
As Kurt Warner said - Thank you jesus!
Commuterchaos.com
80. TracyDee said:
A farm animal nativity scene... I think it's cute...in an odd sort of way :)
81. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
Why do all of those animals have their asses in the air?
82. Karen Rani said:
Mrs. DoF said cock..... heehee....gawd I'm juvenile this morning.......
83. KS said:
Laura C. re: the pasting/refreshing -
That is hilarious!! You go.
84. Dave M said:
"Scoliotic Cow" would be a great name for a blog.
85. Em said:
My favorite Jesus saying is "I gave myself to Jesus and now he never calls".
I also like to say "Sweet Baby Jesus!" which seems to apply here.
86. SuMMer said:
Maybe they're constipated, Dr. Johnny Fever. Although, the horse looks like he watches a lot of Queer As Folk.
87. Amanda B. said:
What in *the* fuck is wrong with that cow?
88. Jazzy said:
The animals look like they are going to eat Him.
89. liz said:
i once stayed at someone's house that collected creches. she had creches from all over the world, some carved out of stone, some made with reeds, but the one that took the cake was the one made of dead laquered cockroaches. shudder.
honestly, i think that ceramic animal nativity might even be scarier than the dead shiny cockroach baby Jesus.
90. fuzzbean said:
Is it just me, or do all of those animals look just a little hungry--and such cheeks the baby Jesus must have had!
91. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
I don't remember a mouse being part of the story, nor a scoliotic cow.
Ok, maybe I am missing something here, but isn't this nativity scene, technically speaking, WORSHIPPING FALSE GODS??
(You know, kind of like Plato's philosphy of forms - how they're only perfect in the mental concept, but when you try to represent them they are no longer what they were...)
That is not the baby Jesus!
92. becaru said:
Love the ceramic Baby J.
BTW, do you get paid every time you mention TiVo?
93. Terimo said:
It reminds me that it's time to get out my one Christmas decoration -- Nativity in a Nut. It's the entire nativity scene inside a half of a walnut. My husband picked it up for me when he was in Austin, TX. It's quite festive.
94. Hank said:
This is a free-association inspired by the Oklahoma 'knick-knack' comment. My Mom is profoundly Mid-western and uses the word whatnot quite often, as in "There were plenty of Nativity Scenes and whatnot at the flea market." My Lovely Wife and I have made it a practice to mentally substitute the word 'shit' for 'whatnot' when listening to my Mom. It makes conversations with Mom much more entertaining.
95. Stacy said:
Liz- What the hell are creches? And yes, I did attempt to look it up on dictionary.com.
96. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
You should SEE the SIZE of the whatnot that came outta my ass this morning. An whatnot.
97. Tip for Finding Shit said:
I mean whatnot.
Go to www.google.com
In the search box, type *define:* and then whatever word you want to know about. Hit enter.
C'est tres les whatnot!
98. Ninotchka said:
Off Topic:
Heather, please tell me you don't live in Provo.
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=817&ncid=716&e=8&u=/ap/2...
99. J said:
Sherly -
Creches are replicas of the nativity scene, basically. Not to be confused with the Putz, which is also apparently a large creche. There's one in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania - only one I've heard of (I grew up there). Putz, man. They should have renamed it.
100. lac said:
My boyfriends mother has around 100 nativity scenes. She informed me that if I married her son, I would inherit them one day.
Help!
101. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
j - I knows what a creche is and whatnot.
'ccordin to Google:
a hospital where foundlings (infant children of unknown parents) are taken in and cared for
a representation of Christ's nativity in the stable at Bethlehem
102. Tip for not being a whatnothead said:
Here in the south we just call them nativity scenes, ain't no need gettin all fancy.
103. stella said:
already 100+ comments over a ceramic creche. just imagine if it was a ceramic george bush?!
104. Sarah C. said:
What's wrong with that brown horse?
105. LadyBug said:
Hmmm...maybe this is why Dooce hates getting advice so much:
I used "Tip for Finding Shit"'s advice and googled "define: whatnot." I ended up with an offer for a Chinese Whatnot Shelf or "Great Deals on Whatnot!" from ebay.
Now, using Hank's advice to substitute "shit" for "whatnot"...well, let's just say I'm glad I wasn't drinking hot coffee. Scorched nasal passages and whatnot...
106. Girl.A said:
I thought creche was a crazy ass megalomaniac pedophile dude livin in a compound
107. John said:
Hi, my name is John and I am also a collector of Chinese Turds. I mean, whatnot.
108. Tracy said:
There's one Bethlehem farmer that needs to ease back on the steroids in the feed. Judging from the distended bellies, I think the animals ate Joseph and Mary.
109. Danika said:
I think Tracy is right. The animals ate Mary and Joseph and are just deciding who gets what part of baby Jesus.
110. Rabooka said:
It's kinda comical
111. Sonia said:
The mouse isn't so much looking at Baby Jesus as he is gazing at the roosters butt.
Disturbing.
112. Christine said:
The whole hideous scene looks like it's sitting atop a very bad straw-colored toupee. =snicker= :)
113. jkegwest said:
Apparently these freaked out farm animals have never seen a baby before. Helloooo cartoon bug eyes!
114. christy said:
I want my very own GEORGE! to take home. I have a couple little ones that could use someone new to play with.
And I will hug him and squeeze him and name him GEORGE!
115. Lori said:
Why is the horses's rear all hitched up?
That story about GEORGE! - pictures, please.
116. Beerzie Yoink said:
That's funny. It looks great on my nightstand. The photo doesn't do it justice.
117. Sheryl (98/306) said:
I didn't read the 8,000 comments before me, but is it wrong I think that's kinda cute?
118. tonya said:
We want more George!
Someone has some disturbing holiday knick knacks.
119. Paula said:
George sounds wonderful. Can I borrow him? He can come to Boston.
120. Kate said:
George rocks!
121. Sasha said:
I love the George story! More George! More!
122. Amanda B. said:
Who could doubt the awesomeness of George?
Has someone been mean? Do I need to whip some ass?
123. Lori said:
Can I borrow George? Please? I will give him back I promise.
124. Shiz said:
That is just NOT RIGHT.
125. Sissychong said:
Cows have knees, who knew!?
126. Paula said:
P.S. I forgot to add, some of those animals are in very odd positions. Yeah I know I have a sick mind.
127. Psycho Kitty said:
Sheryl: Yes.
128. Kara said:
My inlaws filled daughter's head with so much of the "reason for the season" talk over the Thanksgiving weekend that on a recent trip to the mall where we spied a Santa my daughter was screaming, "I don't wanna talk to Santa I wanna talk to baby Jesus!"
129. Caroline said:
See? George IS an awesome guy. Takes one to know one, I guess. See Kano, mrs anti-George #1, and noGeorge? You suck. So you all can go suck together; it'll be a nice, intimate suckfest. And not the good kind. Fuckers.
130. lulu cornichon said:
Did anyone else have the sneaking suspicion yesterday that the whole grouchy faction of K, Mrs AG1, and nG were all the same person? I just couldn't imagine three such misguided dopes all commenting at the same time.
Or am I just extry suspicious?
131. SaraJane said:
I like it. I think its nice and fun. Almost as nice as the light up nativity set I want from Home Depot but its expensive.
132. Caroline said:
OMG I just read the comment about the Jepordy! guy! How could he lose? I'm totally taping this. Damned non-TiVoed TV.
133. Leon said:
I honestly owndered how long it would be before there was a "Wallace and Gromit" Christmas special.
And as for George, the real proof is in how he handles a screaming and unruly Leta. Until we see how he deals with that trial, I do not think we can truly pass judgement.
134. Caroline said:
I spelled Jeopardy! wrong. My bad.
135. pismire said:
Dooce, per your post: Is George for sale? I could use some help lifting giant bags of kitty litter. And I don't have a baby, but I do have a lonely cat named Baby who could use a playmate during the day. Just thought I'd ask.
136. popsicle said:
sheesh...that poor cow has some serious scoliosis...no wonder she is sitting down ! and the mouse: holy steriods ! jesus ought to feel such love to have a clan like that looking after him.
137. stella said:
GEORGE! where is he going to school next? what does his family think of him leaving byu?
138. Chloe said:
Hee! 'I will hug him and squeeze him and name him George." I had COMPLETELY forgotten that. Which cartoon character was that? Was it a bear? I can still hear the voice in my mind (The voices! The voices!)
Another disturbing tcotchky (where did the word "tcotchky" come from, anyway???). All the animals look like they are into ass-play (Oh god, why can't I think of a better term than ass-play?). Except that poor cow.
The thumbnail _was a rooster! I played guess the picture today, and I thought, "...hmmm. I think its a rooster. But it'll end up being a shoe or a dog or a mitten or a turd or something ridiculous." Lo and behold! It *was* a rooster! You did that on purpose, didn't you dooce? You so cleva.
Does anyone else see a rhino in that horse/ sheep combo in the upper right hand corner? It took me, like, a minute to figure out what they really were. I'm like, "A rhino?! Oh, that's realistic." Then, "OH! Duh."
End rambling... now.
139. BabyM said:
First time poster, long time reader. Hello all!!
Heather, I think it is about time GEORGE! gets his own category, so we can find postings on him easily.
140. Sherman said:
ouch! my ears hurt from all the screaming.
hi George.
141. Laura said:
Chloe: Isnt it Bugs bunny or maybe elmer fud? Anyway its one of those that does that. And I soooo want a George of my own (George are you availble?)
I agree that George also needs a blog of his own. And pictures. Lots more George pictures. Not that I dont love the Dooce. Because its the first website I log on to when I get to work.
Dooce your website rocks. Keep it up!
142. sweetney said:
who knew they made a Little People nativity scene?
it looks at though the baby jesus is in the trough and the animals are preparing to munch at him.
mmmmm....sacrilicious...
143. Rori said:
and ceramic animals with advanced osteoporosis.
144. Beth said:
I'm just wondering how many other 'ornaments' your mama has bought by this 'artist' - I find them frightening yet strangely compelling!
145. pismire said:
The hug you and squeeze you line? Wasn't it Elmira from the Looney Tunes show? Right, right?
146. Karen said:
That chicken looks like it's gonna peck Baby Jesus' eyes out.
147. Littlehoney said:
I think it's interesting that George accepts the website and you seem to have the best familial relationship with him. Funny how acceptance works, eh?
As for the "nativity." Did someone make this? Was it someone who needed to make a diarama for the book Animal Farm? Did the baby Jesus just happen to topple into the wrong barn?
If not, that's just scary. ;)
148. Littlehoney said:
Heee, I just noticed that the creature that's sneaking up on the rooster (turkey?) looks like Garfield's stuffed bear, Pookie.
149. Kristina said:
I love it! It's crazy! However, if I like it, then no real God-fearing anyone should have it in their house.
P.S. I rather liked the pig.
150. Sue said:
GEORGE! If only you were older and lived in Ohio. GEORGE!
151. Josh said:
I can't figure out what is more disturbing. That somebody created this "abomination" and thought that it was just so good that they had to mass produce them and sell them to the masses. OR the fact that the masses agree and buy said "abomination."
It's really disturbing, and I hope to all that is good that at least one of these will be thrown off of a tall building to it's unapologetic demise.
152. Lindsey said:
Sweet Jesus that's an ugly Jesus. Is it just me or does that poor cow look like her udders are about to explode?
153. Moxie said:
Laura and Chloe...it was a Bugs Bunny cartoon that was doing a parody of John Steinbeck's "Of Mice and Men".
That cow definately needs colonic.And that Jeshua kid....well they all are bug eyed as he looks as though he is passing THE BIG BAD MOTHERFUCKIN' POOP.
154. christy said:
The "hug him and squeeze him" thing is from that big abominable snowman - when he wants bugs as a pet.
I think ...
155. cindy said:
they look like they're going to eat him.
156. jlb said:
Watch out for that tree!
Anyone who hauls melt and plays with the kiddies is key in my book.
157. honestyrain said:
oh dear. is it wrong that i kind of like it? i mean, i DON'T really. but i kind of do. i like the baby Jesus. he looks cute. you can't deny that baby Jesus is cute, can you? who would deny that? some mean evil person, that's who.
158. Susie said:
A big guy on the floor with a little baby always screams "Awesome!!!!"
The animals in the photo, on the other hand, look "awestruck," which is an entirely appropriate way for them to look in this context. I must say, this does not frighten me like the pig did.
159. the niffer said:
Nice detective work, lulu. I think everyone's entitled to their own opinion, natch; but what I don't get is why K, MrsAG1 and nG bother visiting this site.
I mean, it's not like stories about GEORGE! are out of character with the rest of Dooce's thoughts/postings.
This is a pretty positive place to be on a regular basis, so if the stuff you read is just too fluffy and whatnot, why bother coming back over and over again?
Masochists.
160. the niffer said:
For the record, I don't think your site is fluffy, Dooce. Bunnies that make love are fluffy.
Oh Pierre!
161. Fluffernutter said:
I don't know about fluff but I do like reading about whatnot.
162. Some Mean Evil Person said:
I wanna smash the whole manger, baby included.
163. corie said:
Why are all of their butts in the air?
164. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
A big guy on the floor screaming *"Awesome!"* would scare the living shit out of the baby.
Unless he made some really cute high pitched sounds on either side of the scream, and whatnot.
165. christy said:
I guess I would be awestruck too if I was a cow and I just realized that Our Lord and Savior's Parents left him alone with a bunch of farm animals.
Hello child neglect!
166. Colleen from NJ said:
Some Mean Evil Person,
After I read your post, my son keeps asking me "why laughing, mommy?" again and again.
167. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
I think Kano, AG1 and ng are all the same person all right -
GEORGE!
Maybe he likes messin wit his posse. And the dooce. Evil, sweet, awesome genius.
168. Super Turtle Girl said:
Wow...a funny nativity. I've never seen that. Looks like Red Grooms did it.
169. Darcie said:
Because I am married to The Sinister Minister, I have first-hand knowledge of what Jesus himself thinks on just about every subject (including the rigging of the last election--but I won't go there), and I'll have you know, Jesus would not want that cow to strike that pose, even for Him! That is freakishly un-natural.
170. Lisa said:
For George! c/o Dooce:
http://www.uky.edu/UGAdmission/applicants/transfer.html
The horses in KY rarely do the type of calesthenics those nativity scene horses do, I think. If they do, we even have massage centers for them. Usually we sanctify, um, esteem the horse here in the Bluegrass. How's that for shifting the center. Unfortunately, though, our state is the wrong color politically, but Lexington is a lovely oasis of attempted liberalism, sometimes. George! We need you!
171. VenusManTrap said:
Is that a groundhog on the lower right? I do not remember the story talking about the three wisemen following a hedgehog from the east.
172. lulu cornichon said:
Wow. The Sinister Minister. He's a superhero, isn't he?
It's a deacon! It's an usher! It's The Sinister Minister!
173. VenusManTrap said:
Is that a groundhog on the lower left? I do not remember the story talking about the three wisemen following a hedgehog from the east.
174. Lisa said:
I think the animal on the lower left is a sheep that got squished by the box on which the horses are standing. Trapped worshipping a clay baby Jesus. The lower right animal looks like a chicken aghast at the divine whatnot.
175. Amanda said:
I just want to know which one is Mary and which one is Joseph.
176. Jenny said:
Why are the animals so deformed?
177. Sherly (aka Sheryl) said:
Jenny,
They melted. Someone got too close with the crack pipe.
178. Jenny said:
And that mouse there is abnormally large.
179. christilee said:
How do you get that lighting? Is there a special "dooce thing" for that? Always a holy glow...
180. Carol said:
"They melted. Someone got too close with the crack pipe."
LOL!! LMAO!! and other letters and whatnot whose meanings escape me.
Poor George. I mean really...you're just trying to DIGEST and suddenly you're in the midst of a major controversy. I love you, George and your HD shirt.
181. heathabee said:
George is the definition of awesome. And heart melting. And not being dead inside.
George, you rock.
182. Mary said:
I just...just...just...can't stop laughing long enough to say anything of consequence except: Does George have a girlfriend?
183. Jen said:
OK - someone may have already answered this, but the "Hug him and squeeze him and call him George" bit is from Bugs Bunny. It was a vulture character who said it. Wow. I've revealed too much of my TV Land upbringing.
184. Liz said:
Ack. How frightening.
185. Lisa said:
Rules Two through Five
2. Whatever goes upon four legs, or has wings, is a friend.
3. No animal shall wear clothes.
4. No animal shall sleep in a bed.
5. No animal shall drink alcohol unless forced to worship at the clay creche.
186. jelene said:
it looks like the animals ATE mary and joseph, and now they all have the EVIL eye and are wondering who's going to get baby jesus first. i think the cow ate someone, because look at it's neck, it looks like he's about to hack something back up.
the horse on the right, looks like he's about ready to take a dump. i took a pottery class, well several, and people don't make stuff like this, they make ashtrays and teapots.
187. Christine said:
Please...
I hope all of you cartoon fanatics realize that that particular character is based on Lennie from John Steinbeck's "Of Mice and Men"...
If not, PLEASE TURN OFF THE TV AND PICK UP A BOOK. You're scaring me.
Thank you. That is all.
188. George said:
I actually looked at this nativity on Thursday and threw up a little in my mouth. Not very pleasant.
Yes, I'm single.
189. sab said:
Dooce, GEORGE! Rocks!
190. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
George, will you please come over to my house and help me open this damn jar of pickles? I can't get the lid open.
191. Evil Stepmother said:
Hey, Jen, I thought the "love him and squeeze him and call him George" character was the abominable snowman character.
GEORGE! needs to relearn his southern roots and come to GA. I swear, he's going to be the best internet celebrity ever.
192. ranae said:
i think it's kind of cute - especially the chicken - the cow looks a bit contorted though don't you think?
193. Homer said:
That is the dumbest thing you've ever displayed on your site. Creepy and ridiculous. Go back to the endless Leta pics or AWESOME GEORGE!!! pics rather than this inane garbage. Thanks!!
194. Andreah said:
I need me some George.
195. Gonnas said:
Is it just me, or are all the animals sneaking up on the Baby Jesus, perhaps with the intent of eating him?
Is it just me, or is that one horse on the left pooing on that other horse cowering below it?
196. mrs. george #2 said:
HA! IN YOUR FACES YOU GEORGE-HATING BITCHES!
Where are yall now when all these other nice posters have my back about George? Baby Jesus will cut you when he gets back.
197. The Mighty Jimbo said:
i wonder how the artist felt, roasting jesus in a kiln. seems really like an express ticket to hell.
well, that and having such bad taste.
198. s said:
I'VE JUST BEEN DOOCED! Yes, that right, I was just laid off and immediately came here. How sad am I?
199. jodi-no-blog said:
George ROCKS!
I gotcher back Mrs George #2...
200. Melanie S said:
I'll trade you a doggie friend (for Chuck), for GEORGE!
201. Carol said:
S-
That sucks big time. I feel for you. My husband got laid off two weeks before our 2nd was due!
Go get a drink!! Well, that doesn't solve anything, but it sure does make you feel better. Unless you're in AA or something.. in that case go get a Coke with lots of fizz!
Bastards! They don't know what they had!
202. honestyrain said:
GEORGE! is clearly a Superior Human Being. what concerns me most is that he likely doesn't know it. being a Superior Human Being usually requires not knowing it. i just hope GEORGE! loves GEORGE! as much as we all do.
203. Tracy said:
S - poor fortune. =( Any company who lays someone off right before the holidays is clearly helmed by heartless asshats who don't deserve your help anyway. Best of luck to you.
204. eco2geek said:
The reason the animals are all bug-eyed is that Baby Jesus is softly singing to himself: "And You...You liiiiight. Up. Myyyyyy. Liiiiife."
205. Allison said:
All I want for chrismas is a GEORGE! and a house fit for a queen OF FRANCE!
206. Kristine said:
Why doesn't George have his very own web page?
I don't just want him to have his own catagory, I want a whole web page.
I want, I want, I want...damn, i'm in the Christmas mood already.
Forgive me Sweet Baby Jesus!
207. s said:
Oh yes Carol, already hit the vodka gimlets and menthol cigarettes. JESUS! Oh wait, that's what today's picture is of! Look how neatly I just segued that all together. THEY DON'T DESERVE ME. BAH HUMBUG
208. Laura C. said:
I like how George can mention tainting his mouth with a tinge of vomit, and the ladies STILL desire to smooch him.
209. Amanda B. said:
Ah, the lovely George. We heart you George. If I knew any decent single gals I'd send em your way. Most of the girls around here are married or nappyho's.
Niffer- right on. If you don't like what you see here feel free to move along. Despite what many of us think, Dooce does not exist to keep us entertained. She and her family are actual people with real feelings.
Don't be an asshole.
210. Aaron said:
*smoghat*
211. Nikki said:
I really want to know where that nativity came from!!!
212. Camille said:
"Baby Jesus will cut you when he gets back!" Oh. My. God. I'm glad it's almost time to go home because I don't think I can work anymore today. Thanks, Mrs. George #2 for a rare out loud laugh at work!
213. Amanda B. said:
*deep purple*
214. Aaron said:
*oddly familiar*
215. Amanda B. said:
*Extreme- circa 1992*
216. Amanda B. said:
only it's "get the fuck out" instead of "feel free to move along".
Curses!
217. TexChic said:
I've never seen a cow or sheep sit like that before, although I have a horse that will take a bow . . . but this has a mouse as big as a baby, and a chicken that's bigger than both of them! Wow!
218. s said:
exactly, amanda. "GET THE FUCK OUT". "FEEL FREE TO MOVE ALONG" would've been "Gee, look for another job, you have 2 weeks" Small thanks they gave 6 months severance and benefits...
219. Dr. Johnny Fever said:
Georgie, don't swallow that puke! Open up and share the inner George with the rest of us.
220. christy said:
Wait wait -
I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more GEORGE!
And less freaky baby jesus whatnot.
221. eco2geek said:
What the girls want now,
is George, more George.
He's the only one
That can make them disgorge...
(OK, so there's not much that rhymes with "George.")
222. Chloe said:
"Of Mice and Men" isn't generally read when you are seven years old, and it doesn't have that memorable voice! Although I'll admit I've never read it. What? I'm not much for the classics. If you are forced to read it in school, it probably means that it's not something you'd want to read on your own time. See: Charles Dickens (IMO, please don't flame me). I am still a voracious reader, just not so much of the classics. And not just blogs, either.
I think maybe the buzzard was from Tiny Toon Adventures, and possibly a take-off from the "classic" abdominal snowman/bugs bunny cartoon. Scary when cartoons become postmodern, n'est pas? I can imagine both the snowman and the buzzard saying that line, so maybe both? Or maybe brain rot. You know, either way.
Oh, and before I forget again:
George!
223. KellyH said:
My MIL just gave my 2 year old daughter the Fisher-Price Little People Nativity set, "so she can learn about Baby Jesus." This coming from a woman who doesn't attend church herself. Whatever. My daughter likes playing with it.
Tell George! if he decides to head to South Carolina I've got an adorable 2 year old who would love to sit in his lap on the floor.
224. Kristine said:
how about an adorable 32 year old on his lap?
Oh god, I didn't just say that!
225. Angel said:
I know you like whatnot, you like it on top
Tell me, mammadooce, are you gonna stop?
You had me down, 21 to zip
Smile of Judas on your lip
Shake my pig, knock on wood
I've got it George, and I've got it good
Doctor, doctor, gimme the news
I got a bad case of lovin' George
No pill's gonna cure my ill
I got a bad case of bein engorged
226. christy said:
Kelly H -
That reminds me of something i read about a toddler getting the Little People Noah's Ark and the family ended up calling it the "gay pride boat" because it comes with a little rainbow flag on top. Well, we got one too and now call it the same thing.
Don't you love subverting the in-laws intentions? *evil laugh*
227. Mab said:
Not sure if this has been said already, but it can bear repitition. I swear Baby Jesus looks like a piglet. Oink oink.
228. lulu cornichon said:
Okay, Chloe. I'm a spelling and reading dorkapotamus, so I've got to jump on you just a little bit.
It's the *abominable* snowman, not the *abdominal* "abs of steel" snowman.
And: Dickens is great! And not "great" as in *important* yet *boring*. Actually great! And Thackeray is great too! And Austen! And Steinbeck! They're entertaining as hell, especially for someone who's already a voracious reader.
Okay. I'll put away the soapbox and climb off the high horse now.
229. Nick said:
Nice pic.
P.S. Starting a new trend - I am going for the last post here.
230. Girl.A said:
Remember that Queensryche hit?
Relax child, you were there
But only didn't realize it and you were scared
It's a place where you will learn
To face your fears, retrace the years
And ride the farm animals in your mind
Ceramics from another world
Suddenly you hear and smell
This magic new distension
George will be watching over you
George is gonna help you see it through
George will protect you in the night
George is puking next to you...
in the Violent Nativity
231. lulu cornichon said:
so I have trouble with the bold thing. I'm a dorkapotamus, not a technosaur.
232. whitney said:
Contrary to all you negatives... I think its cute, who doesn't love ceramic baby jesus... and farm animals for that matter?
233. jm said:
Another favorite subversive? The holiday that the IL's gave Mimi Smartypants' daughter a Noah's Ark and she explained to her daughter that it was a "Darwin Boat". As in "Look, honey! A Darwin boat! Let's play with it."
Motherhood, George, the f-word, house renovation, antidepressants...yes, it's all good.
234. whitney said:
how come, when the comments get into the hundreds people just start writing poems and sonets, and for the love of jesus just write a comment!!
235. Aaron said:
*angry*
236. Amber said:
Hey Nick,
I've been last post before! :)
Love in Christ,
Amber <><
237. jm said:
OMFG! Talk about synchronicity. (The Jungian kind, not The Police kind).
I just hopped over onto a forum where I get my home renovation questions answered and WTF?
Looks like the mouse has it on the authority of the fuzzy bunny that the chicken is a ho.
http://forums.taunton.com/tp-breaktime/messages?msg=50826.17
238. Grace said:
What is that thing on the left doing with its butt in the air like a cat in heat?
239. Laurie G. said:
jm,
That is just wrong.
240. eco2geek said:
Thanks, jm, now we know where easter eggs come from!
241. Lisa said:
Abdominal Snowman
I swear I have gotten the best abs workout today just by lol at some of the posts. The first was the crack pipe one, then many others. Then I started calling in my colleagues to look at the photo and we were all laughing out loud. It's a big academic aerobic fest in here today. Thanks, Dooce!
PS: Not only did I get a workout and home renovation tips, but I got to share the Lenny-Abominable Snowman link with a student who's writing on Steinbeck. Total 'synchronicity'--you said it!
242. Lordosis said:
My unspayed female pony started rolling around on the floor, arching her back and meowing and purring loudly. Although she does not appear to be sick, she sure sounds like she is in agony.
Now all my horses are doing it too, and my chicken. wtf?
243. Lotus said:
Dear Vet,
My cow has begun to sit in the Lotus position and meditate for hours and days. Perhaps it is because she is aware the king of kings has just been born and the brat is a beef-eater?
244. Shiz said:
So sorry, but I forgot to say this earlier: Fuck.
Heather, don't they know that YOU ARE OUR PROPHET AND YOU SPEAK OUR FUCKING LANGUAGE? Isn't there a verse about Paul being "all things to all men"? You're doing that for US.
245. Carol said:
Abdominal snowman!!! Hilarious!
"POP" that's my bottle of wine. But not here, dear Dooce readers. I'll spare you that tonight.
It's girls night!! AAAHHHHHHHRRRRRGGGG!
So have fun. I'll miss you guys.
But before I go... Amanda B. and Aaron... What are y'all talking about?
*barney...wiggles.... um...led zepplin*
I want to play, too, but I don't get it.
246. Aaron said:
*incomprehensible*
247. Sheryl said:
*tenebrous*
248. Aaron said:
*tenebrous?*
249. Aaron said:
*fuck*
250. Sheryl said:
*cabalistic*
251. Sarah said:
The cow has a hunchback, and that horse looks like it's getting ready to reconvene the procedure.
252. Toni said:
chocolate peppermint christmas cookies
253. Sheryl said:
incomprehensible, that's what you are ...incomprehensible, though near or far
Like a song of love that clings to me... How the thought of you does things to me
Never before has someone been more... incomprehensible, in every way
And for evermore, that's how you'll stay...That's why darling, it's incredible
That someone so incomprehensible...Thinks that I am incomprehensible too
254. Aaron said:
*serenade*
255. Sheryl said:
I cracked the code.
*Aaron has taken the Holy Oath of One Word Free Association.*
256. Tracy said:
So, from what I'm hearing here, the baby Jesus is actually a stabby, beefaholic, karaoke-singing gay sailor? Wow. His dad's gonna be pissed.
257. JoJo said:
"His dad’s gonna be pissed."
The Father is a drinker too, eh?
258. Aaron said:
*wrong*
259. Emily said:
*An