Frightened now of our child's adolescence, as if we weren't before
Lately we have been sprinkling magic fairy dust into Leta's food to help combat her constipation. It's called MiraLax and looks suspiciously like artificial sweetener. MiraLax has to be taken with food which is all sorts of frustrating since we told the doctor that Leta doesn't eat food. He nodded and said, "Sprinkle this on the food she doesn't eat." What then? Is she supposed to stand near it? Spread it on her body so that it soaks in like moisturizer?
Because she still refuses to eat anything we've been supplementing the MiraLax with a few mild laxative drops every morning just to get things moving along. Part of Leta's problem is that she has become terrified of pooping and whenever she feels the urge she holds it in. Her whole body shakes as she forcibly subverts nature, her face a mess of red bulging veins, a pig-tailed spectacle caught in a desperate mid-clench battle with her colon, and she looks around wildly at nothing in an attempt to fool you, to get you to look elsewhere. What? Why are you looking at her? There is nothing to see here. Move along so she can fully concentrate on denying the act of defecation out of existence.
The laxative drops have thrown a wrench into her master plan, and now when she is unable to hold it in she throws her arms out and calls for help. "Mama, I'm pooping," she'll whimper and then cling to my neck like a life raft. It's incredibly heartbreaking, and both Jon and I have spent hours holding her like this in an attempt to convince her that everything is going to be okay. Let it out, I'll say, or Look! I poop and I'm not dead. Yet.
Yesterday I was sitting on the bed trying to work when Leta wandered into the room and began slamming the bedroom door. Jon had been watching her and when he heard the noise he came running in to see what was going on. Leta promptly slammed the door again, and Jon caught it before it tore off its hinges. "LETA!" he yelled, and the second she heard the angry rise in his voice she dropped to the floor, shot out her arms and chirped, "Daddy, I'm pooping."
Right. Daddy, you can't be mad at me if, conveniently, my bowels are in distress.
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FM Living
blondeinthemidwest said:
ha ha ha!! poor Leta and her constipated tummy!!
on a side note, I love how "King Chuck" just sits there and behaves so nicely while you take his picture!
03.10.06 - 09:17 AM / 1Amanda B. said:
Poor little monkey. She IS an evil genius though.
My niece had some issues with potty training and preferred to go in her pants, even though she knew she was supposed to try to go potty on her toilet. Having not been around a toddler, I didn't know how manipulative they could be. I was watching her one day when she went into the bathroom and closed the door. I followed her, and when I opened the door she was sort of just standing there, looking awkward.
I asked her what she was doing and she said, "Aunt Amanda. I'm upset and I need some alone time."
Of course I bought it. I got schooled by a 3 year old.
03.10.06 - 09:22 AM / 2Toyfoto said:
Your description of a constipated two-year-old is the picture I see ... oh, I'd say ... just about every MONDAY morning and usually lasting into Wednesday afternoon. It's heartbreaking and yet oddly hysterical when she eventually calls out for prune juice ... she calls it "poop juice."
03.10.06 - 09:28 AM / 3Carrie said:
That's hilarious. My 17-month-old daughter is on MiraLax too - I mix it into her milk and she's none the wiser. It is magic and saved our lives, along with giant scoops of Benefiber and Metamucil crackers. We are down to 1/8 teaspoon of Miralax a day. No more giant poop rocks. We are so happy. Good luck on that.
03.10.06 - 09:30 AM / 4Karen! said:
You should get that book "Everyone Poops", because studies have shown that, well, everyone poops!
03.10.06 - 09:33 AM / 5Bruno said:
I have been pooping with regularity for the first time since...well the first time. I should note that I am thirty two. I have become addicted to honey flavored All Bran bars. They are fabulous and filling and potentially killing me slowly.
03.10.06 - 09:33 AM / 6RachelS said:
I think I'll use that the next time I get pulled over. "Officer I'm pooping"!
Poor Leta. My son had that problem a week ago, as he sat on the toilet yelling at the top of his lungs "mom the poop won't come out". I told him he was constipated and he was clearly offended by being called that.
03.10.06 - 09:33 AM / 7Stepha1202 said:
I had never thought about the being afraid to poop angle. My son was born constipated, but I thought it might just be an infant thing.
Good luck to Leta (and you guys) with getting over this hump. And I'm writing down MiraLax. Just in case.
03.10.06 - 09:34 AM / 8Amy said:
Sometimes I wish my daughter didn't want to poo. Since we've switched to formula, the diapers have a personality of their own.
Chuck is so tolerant. My dog would never put up with that. I'm surprised he even lets my daughter pet him(read: grab and pull his ears). She's getting sneaky at it now - she reaches out and pets him once gently, THEN grabs ahold of his ears.
03.10.06 - 09:34 AM / 9In Bloom said:
What is going on with kids and chronic constipation? It's like an epidemic. My (ex) stepdaughter was on miralax and was bombarded constantly with "eat fiber", to the point that if we went to a restaurant and the waitress asked what she wanted to eat, she'd say "fibew pweeze".
My little sister has also been on Miralax and laxatives and suppositories and hospital given laxatives. She also holds it in and cries and the whole scene.
Both of these children were formula fed? A correlation? I don't know. I'm sorry Leta has to go through this, but you have to eat food to poop! Poop isn't magically created! lol She looks very healthy though. Does she drink water? My lil sister doesn't and that's a big problem with the constipation as well. Good luck!
03.10.06 - 09:41 AM / 10novelle said:
I think you're on to something: Laxitive lotion.
Laxalotion. Saving the world's bowels one swipe at a time!
But, seriously, I'm with Leta. If I could banish pooping from existance, I'd gladly do it. Think of how that time could better be spent. Like slamming doors.
03.10.06 - 09:42 AM / 11In Bloom said:
ps- I want Chuck!
03.10.06 - 09:42 AM / 12ordinary girl said:
Is it wrong of me to yearn so badly for a picture of her vein-bulging, cutie pie face??
03.10.06 - 09:43 AM / 13Mike said:
I actually use that same line quite often. Whenever I'm receiving horrible service at a restaurant, or I'm in an argument with a friend or even when I receive a speeding ticket from a mean-spirited policeman, I begin to whimper and then in my best vulnerable-yet-still-manly voice, whisper,
"I'm pooping!"
Surprisingly, it never works.
03.10.06 - 09:46 AM / 14jamie said:
Poor Leta! My Melanie (almost 4) seems to be a bit backed up too, coupled with a slight lactose intolerance and her favorite foods being yogurt, cheese, and any other dairy item! Hmmm...maybe I should give her the Lactaid pill, then sprinkle MiraLax on top of her yogurt, and then be ready with the Children's Mylanta after that! Oy vey!
And I love Chuck's crown...Melanie word those Old Navy pants today too..only not on her head.
Love your stuff Heather!
03.10.06 - 09:46 AM / 15julybirthday said:
Chuck is such a good sport! GOOD POOCHIE, BOY!
Heather, try this for fun: pull a sock over his nose & face, and watch him run backwards trying to back out of it. Mean. Very mean, but very funny.
03.10.06 - 09:47 AM / 16CartwheelsAtMidnight said:
Just about the time I get all cocky thinking my teenagers are so easy, you come along and remind me how entertaining the drama of toddler-hood is.
PS - I'm a longtime (pre-Leta) lurker. Hi!
03.10.06 - 09:47 AM / 17Peggy said:
Faith takes that wonderful mixture of food and MiraLax also and I know you say she won't eat but get that into her system one way or another - it's a God send! Can't you use a drink and spread out her dose throughout the day? A little here - a little there. Bribe her for Christ's sake!
03.10.06 - 09:48 AM / 18Lora said:
MiraLax is just a miracle drug in my opinion. You can mix it with water and you can't even tell it's in there! Try it in her milk or juice...again, she'll be none the wiser. My son had to take it when he swallowed pennies to be sure they moved through the system quickly and that stuff is great.
03.10.06 - 09:49 AM / 19DDM said:
Way to go LETA!!! Work it girl!!!
03.10.06 - 09:52 AM / 20Democutie said:
Be careful with her fear of pooping. I went through a horrible ordeal when I was young and honestly had pooping problems until I was about 14.. pooping problems that are too embarrassing to mention.. pooping problems that NO ONE but my family knows about, if you get my drift. I would hate for Leta to have to go through that.
03.10.06 - 09:56 AM / 21John Foltz said:
That's like my son saying 'thwuble' when he's in trouble. It's so cute that I immediately bust up and he's not in trouble anymore. It's his trump card, and he knows when to play it.
03.10.06 - 09:56 AM / 22Nothing But Bonfires said:
MiraLax looks suspiciously like artificial sweetener, you say? Veeeery interesting...... I hope the next person who screws me over takes A LOT of Splenda in their coffee.
03.10.06 - 09:57 AM / 23liznboys said:
Too funny! My 2 1/2 y/o uses the "I'm poopin' " line to get "alone time" (i.e., to get into mischief!). He'll run into our bedroom and I'll tell him that he can't play in anyone's bedroom but his own and he'll say "go away, Mom, I'm poopin' "...BTW, little boy, I can tell if you're randomly opening drawers, applying make-up, band-aids and lotion OR poopin'.
Leta is SO CUTE...keep up the great writing!
03.10.06 - 09:58 AM / 24Rebecca said:
You could probably write The Big Book of Conspitation, the amount of wonderful tales that you have...
03.10.06 - 09:58 AM / 25choice said:
Wow. That story made me laugh so hard the quaking of my belly almost released my own bowels. It was kind of like doing crunches at the gym.
Public farting and constipated toddler posts all in the same week. I love, Heather. So very much.
03.10.06 - 09:59 AM / 26hopefulloser said:
How cute! We have the opposite problem with my daughter. It's a complete poo fest. We're starting the potty training now and to encourage her we bribe her with toys. She refers to them as poo toys. She's currently running around in the "nudes nudes" playing her "poo flute". That sounds kinda bad but it's really cute.
03.10.06 - 10:01 AM / 27Beachgal said:
Aww poor little Leta. But also, so adorable Leta. Hope things work out for you all soon. And I also love how Chuck just sits there and lets you pose pants on his head. "King Chuck" indeed!
03.10.06 - 10:04 AM / 28Amanda Paige said:
I have a crazy mother-in-law who was once pulled over by a cop for speeding. He came to the driver's side of the car to talk to her and she rolled the window down and said, "I have REALLY BAD diarrhea!" Then she sped off. He didn't chase after her.
Seems to me that distressed bowels can get a person out of many bad situations.
03.10.06 - 10:04 AM / 29Molicious said:
I wonder if that would work on my husband. Hmmmm...
03.10.06 - 10:05 AM / 30