SXSW Detox
Jon and I got back late yesterday from our quick trip to SXSW in Austin. The whole trip seems like a blur now, every second of our stay scheduled out into meetings and panels and interviews. I'll be writing up my impressions of the conference later today after I have fully recovered from the worst hangover I have ever experienced. The one goal I had going into our last night in Austin was simple: Make it so that I don't throw up the next day. I am proud to report that I have as much ambition for failure as I do for success because NO ONE IN THE WORLD has ever missed the mark as spectacularly as I did two nights ago. Notice the evidence circulating on the Internet:
Where everyone is standing a safe distance from my propellor arms.
Oddly, I don't even remember this.
The Avon World Sales Leader would be so proud.
The beginning of the loss of my memory.
Jon did comfort me last night in bed as I lay motionless, my body battered and bruised from gagging every two minutes for the previous 12 hours. He said, "I want you to know that I was not embarrassed last night. Not at all. I was just worried that you might actually hurt someone."
Leta stayed with my father during this trip and was returned to us yesterday looking about 15 pounds heavier. Turns out she eats for other people and in turn poops for them, too. Nothing could have made this trip more complete than knowing that my Republican Father, Man Who Vehemently Denies The Existence of Any Bodily Function, had to change over seven poopy diapers. That was more satisfying than forcing him to sit still and listen to Al Franken. Almost.
This morning as all three of us were lying half-awake in bed eating dry Fruity Pebbles Leta stuck her foot in the air, grabbed her large toe and chirped, "Piggy went to market," which was thrilling for several reasons, the first of which is OH MY GOD SHE'S STRINGING TOGETHER SUBJECTS AND VERBS, the logical next step is award winning poetry. This is also evidence that my father showered her with love: he has this thing with toes, loves to pull and twist them and cause injury, and he taught her that piggy game where each toe is a piggy, one going to market, the other staying home, etc. Throughout my childhood he showed us love by pulling our toes, and it warms my heart to know that while we were gone he showed that same love to my child, that special love of yanking her toes out of their sockets. I'd say we're one step closer to inheriting those leather couches.
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FM Living
lastnode said:
It's funny, I'm just listening to your keynote right now. :) Great talk, I learnt a lot about how you blog, which is cool, after reading Dooce for years. I always felt you approached the site like a column, and it's nice to finally have that confirmed.
Btw, the last photo link doesn't send me through. I think you may have set it to Friends & Family only, or something.
03.15.06 - 07:01 AM / 1karmajunkie said:
It was really awesome meeting you guys Monday! Quite possibly the highlight of my spring break... You guys rock!
03.15.06 - 07:02 AM / 2Maniacal said:
I've always had a thing with toes....they kinda freak me out.....but for some reason little baby/toddler toes are soooo cute! Glad you had a good (too good?) tme at the confrence. I'm gonna go listen to your speach right now.
03.15.06 - 07:03 AM / 3jacks said:
Darrin's Dance Grooves have truly been an inspiration for you!
03.15.06 - 07:04 AM / 4kendall said:
I reminded of a move I used to bust out at all my school dances- the sprinkler.
Heather, you really know how to work it. Jon and Leta must be so proud.
03.15.06 - 07:05 AM / 5Urs said:
welcome back! i've missed your posts.
03.15.06 - 07:09 AM / 6Snickrsnack Katie said:
I have the same propellor arms as you - I have taken out a few people with my arms in the past.
I am curious to know how the meet and greet went in Austin. I didn't make it because I had to - gag - work. But I saw that there was even a small spot in the Austin Chronicle about your visit to Halcyon. I can only imagine the frenzy which took place!
I love the story about Leta - the love between a granddaddy and his granddaughter is like no other. My dad, who was always sort of distant from us growing up, is like putty in the hands of my niece. I love seeing their interaction.
03.15.06 - 07:10 AM / 7mel said:
I listened to the podcast from your panel over the weekend and it was really great!! Both you and kottke.org had me laughing outloud. great stuff!
03.15.06 - 07:10 AM / 8Meretrice said:
Hey,
As the mother of a small child, take EVERY SINGLE opportunity to get away that you can. And just think of it, I bet some of that alcohol is a tax-deductable business expense.
God bless the Internet
Meretrice
03.15.06 - 07:11 AM / 9davidhorn said:
Oh my ... is it like Elaine on Seinfeld? There's some good round ups of SXSW out there - sounds like it was a great event. Welcome back!
03.15.06 - 07:11 AM / 10Bucky Four-Eyes said:
Heather, you don't remember licking the monkey?
I'll bet the monkey remembers YOU. Don't be surprised if you get flowers.
03.15.06 - 07:13 AM / 11ieatcrayonz said:
Party on, Heather. I love the pictures of the guy with the lipstick kiss in the background of the Mena Trott pix.
Me thinks there may have been swinging involved at the par-tay.
03.15.06 - 07:14 AM / 12LeafGirl77 said:
I can't tell you how much I love those last two pics. There's nothing like being 'free' on a dance floor.
Looks like one hell of a good time.
As for your dad playing with Leta's toes, I hope my dad terrorizes my children in the pool like he did with me. The theme from Jaws will NEVER be the same.
03.15.06 - 07:20 AM / 13redheadwriter said:
My three year old is exactly like Leta. He'll eat anywhere and for anyone but me at home. And he never, ever poops (we're on Day Three right now). I can't count the number of poopy diapers I've brought in to be analyzed by his pediatrician ... who simply tells me he's just "that kind" of pooper.
03.15.06 - 07:20 AM / 14jolie said:
welcome back - I can't wait to hear about the meet-up. I bet one of your rabin fans tried to pull your toes, non?
03.15.06 - 07:21 AM / 15lawbrat said:
A grandfathers love is just so special. The poopy diapers are just an extra added bonus!
Looks like you had a very fun time, let loose, and enjoyed!
I'd like to add: I think its awesome that Jon can be home with you and Leta. The reduction in anxiety is so worth it. My kids are older than Leta, but when Phil is home its so much better. He's like a dad to them (they have their own dad, and Phil dosent try to take that place), but he treats them as his own, takes care of them when i'm studying or taking a nap, and its just so nice to have that support.
I'm very happy for you that you have more of Jon at home, and life just seems so much better for you. You just seem so much more relaxed and enjoying what life has given you!!
Many hugs and love to you and your family.
03.15.06 - 07:23 AM / 16Jenn said:
'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance, well they're no friends of mine!
Licking monkeys. Flailing arms. Alcohol fueled dancing. I'm jealous.
03.15.06 - 07:24 AM / 17Teeny225 said:
Oh my word, I just about passed out laughing at that first photo of the propellor arms! There are many, many photos of me in that kind of state, but fortunately for me they don't end up all over the internet (at least not to my knowledge). I guess that's the price you pay for being a celebrity blogger...! I'm off work today with a stinking cold, so thanks for cheering me up!
03.15.06 - 07:25 AM / 18Mike from Austin said:
Hi Heather,
Great meeting you guys on Monday, too. That's awesome how you were at the Velvet Spade! They are one of my web clients and a great bunch of folks over there. Looks like you enjoyed the 2 story patio and waterfall area...isn't that place great?
Glad you had such a great time in Austin!
03.15.06 - 07:26 AM / 19Kelly Ferry said:
Your dance photos look alarmingly like my high school yearbook photos of my "routine" for the Junior Miss Pageant. Except your clothes are much nicer than the black leotard and white ballet flats I wore. Much nicer.
03.15.06 - 07:28 AM / 20Shana Banana said:
HAHAHA! Im telling you, in a past life, me and you used to party together. It's those drunken akward white people dance moves that make us special! Thanks for the laughs kiddo. Give that eatin' poppin machine a big squeeze and zurburt her cheeks for me!
03.15.06 - 07:31 AM / 21Be Still said:
I think Austin inspires heavy drinking. It is so damn hot down there, it's easy to put it away.
Your podcast with Jason was very timely. I had just received my first troll comment on my blog. When you said someone had devoted an entire site to hating you, I realized that I should be so lucky! ;)
03.15.06 - 07:34 AM / 22RzDrms said:
that last link is "private." ::pout::
03.15.06 - 07:36 AM / 23lindsayc said:
funny funny!
03.15.06 - 07:43 AM / 24Jennifer said:
Okay, those pictures are incredibly FUNNY. I'm sorry that you had to spend so much time vomiting and being hung over. That sucks.
03.15.06 - 07:47 AM / 25islaygirl said:
thank God you're back. i was having some serious withdrawl.
03.15.06 - 07:48 AM / 26fred said:
i hope the money bought you breakfast.
03.15.06 - 07:49 AM / 27fred said:
oopss.. i meant i hope the MONKEY bought you breakfast.
03.15.06 - 07:50 AM / 28MamaPajama said:
Did you meet Henry Rollins? You would definitely remember that no matter the circumstances - particularly if you knocked him out with your propellor arms along the way.
03.15.06 - 07:51 AM / 29Mary Craig said:
Ha! Someone who's an even bigger goober than me when drunk.
I hope y'all had a good time the great state of Texas!
03.15.06 - 07:54 AM / 30