I am never disappointed by the brashness with which Jon farts when my cousin GEORGE! is around. He says he enjoys having an audience who will reward him with laughter, but I think it's more about trying to impress my family, a group of people who think that a good time is blowing up the neighbor's pick-up truck or setting someone's hair on fire.

Tonight he let one that shook the couch in a violent imitation of a cellphone set to vibrate, and GEORGE! who was sitting in the other room trying to mind his own business erupted with such an enamored laugh that for a brief moment I think he wanted to marry my husband.